WWYD? Struggling to help my devastated teen DD whose friends/teammates pranked her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She may not wish to update, as so many are badgering her for the decisions she has made so far.

It's not that. This is OP. All of the responses and the crowdsourcing has been really helpful. Reading your ideas and seeing your critiques of them online has also been enormously helpful. And I have been truly touched by the collective support that at times has brought me to tears. A PP said a while back that at least everyone agrees that the stunt was either cruel or bullying and I must admit that that universal sentiment educated me and has also buoyed me and helped me to help my DD (in that heart-to-heart I actually said to her I would not refer to the prank as a prank any longer because it was straight up bullying).

But...the situation has just gotten a little trickier and I will likely lay low off these boards now and let things play out.

On one hand, my DD seems to have gotten to a much better place. Though she continues to ask me not to go to the administration or the coach, our talks (aided by your ideas) have helped her take off her rose colored glasses about her teammates. As I said before, she has decided to remain on the team but will not put all her eggs in that friendship basket. She actually chose an entirely different group of kids to hang out with this weekend (as opposed to teammates or just staying home) and I was thrilled. She also has decided to take me up on my offer to get her some extra coaching to help strengthen her skills so that there is no question about whether she merits her position as a starter or, hopefully, that will help her jump to the next level (varsity).

OTOH, I think the parent situation has gotten trickier. There is one fact I've been holding back from this board: a team parent (not Arranger-Parent) is also a teacher at the school. It was this person I assumed I would see yesterday, among others, and I was waiting to gauge their reaction -- I thought it would tell me a lot since it was their DD who said she felt bad (so I assume Teacher-Parent knows). But, did Teacher-Parent find out from her DD before or during or after? Did/Will Teacher-Parent tell coach or administration? Well, I did not see Teacher-Parent but I was asked to coffee later this week by another parent to "catch up" in a way that made me wonder whether this Coffee-Parent is fully aware. I believe this is a sympathetic parent and perhaps reading this thread??? If so, I appreciate your offer for coffee and conversation.

I don't know where this is going to all lead now but I am happy that my DD is in a better place and is holding her head high. I will update if I can.

-OP

I am not really understanding why the teacher- parent is more tricky. Is it because as a teacher she is required in some way to report bullying? If the answer is yes, then she should do her job and report it and who knows maybe she has.

I think the longer you take inaction the easier it will be for both you and your DD to keep back pedaling. Call the coach today and set up a meeting and go and discuss. That's a normal reaction and is expected in a situation like this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP -

I am glad your daughter is in a better place, and it is natural with some distance from the event that she feels better. I can understand why she doesn't want you to tell the coach or school, and why you want to stay true to her wishes. I am really sympathetic to your position, BUT I really think the coach should know about this and not just for your daughter's sake. There is something really rotten happening with her entire team. Posters keep citing the two ring leaders, but unfortunately it is a much bigger problem than this. The entire team was in on it, had to keep silent for weeks - that is pretty calculated and disturbing and someone (ideally the coach) needs to get to the bottom of it.

You don't need to go with the nuclear approach that some are suggesting of calling colleges or alerting the media. You don't even need to demand specific punishments. I think you said some on the varsity team knows about this. There is a chance that the captains will go to the coach, but I think a neutral, factual explanation from an adult is in order.

Wishing for the best for both of you.

I agree.

I would say something.

Ignoring stuff like this is how we end up with news reports of varsity soccer players ending up sodomized in the locker room as part of some "team initiation" gone wrong. It never starts with the broomstick. There are piles of small humiliations leading up to this kind of thing.

If these girls are this bad now, imagine them in a year or two.

Good God, shut up, both of you. I initially said that if I were OP, I'd have contacted the coach, too. But her daughter asked her not to, OP decided to accede to her wishes, and so that ship has sailed. OP has made her decision, and she, and her daughter are at peace with it. This constant second-guessing just is not helpful, and ignores the fact that OP's daughter is not a little kid (she's at least 15 yo, from the context) and is entitled to have a say in how this is handled. The fact that you (and numerous others) feel like you know better because you're read a half dozen posts from OP is ludicrous - you're just flexing your helicopter Mom tendencies. And as for the suggestion that OP needs to do this for the good of the school, or the team, or society, and that silence is how kids end up "sodomized in the locker room as part of some "team initiation"" - stuff it. OP is concerned about her daughter's well-being. If her daughter wanted her to take action, or was experiencing ongoing issues, I may feel differently, but there's been no indication from OP that's the case.

tl;dr - Just shut up. Please.

[Anonymous]

Nope. You shut up. Coach can’t fix what Coach doesn’t know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP -

I am glad your daughter is in a better place, and it is natural with some distance from the event that she feels better. I can understand why she doesn't want you to tell the coach or school, and why you want to stay true to her wishes. I am really sympathetic to your position, BUT I really think the coach should know about this and not just for your daughter's sake. There is something really rotten happening with her entire team. Posters keep citing the two ring leaders, but unfortunately it is a much bigger problem than this. The entire team was in on it, had to keep silent for weeks - that is pretty calculated and disturbing and someone (ideally the coach) needs to get to the bottom of it.

You don't need to go with the nuclear approach that some are suggesting of calling colleges or alerting the media. You don't even need to demand specific punishments. I think you said some on the varsity team knows about this. There is a chance that the captains will go to the coach, but I think a neutral, factual explanation from an adult is in order.

Wishing for the best for both of you.

I agree.

I would say something.

Ignoring stuff like this is how we end up with news reports of varsity soccer players ending up sodomized in the locker room as part of some "team initiation" gone wrong. It never starts with the broomstick. There are piles of small humiliations leading up to this kind of thing.

If these girls are this bad now, imagine them in a year or two.

Good God, shut up, both of you. I initially said that if I were OP, I'd have contacted the coach, too. But her daughter asked her not to, OP decided to accede to her wishes, and so that ship has sailed. OP has made her decision, and she, and her daughter are at peace with it. This constant second-guessing just is not helpful, and ignores the fact that OP's daughter is not a little kid (she's at least 15 yo, from the context) and is entitled to have a say in how this is handled. The fact that you (and numerous others) feel like you know better because you're read a half dozen posts from OP is ludicrous - you're just flexing your helicopter Mom tendencies. And as for the suggestion that OP needs to do this for the good of the school, or the team, or society, and that silence is how kids end up "sodomized in the locker room as part of some "team initiation"" - stuff it. OP is concerned about her daughter's well-being. If her daughter wanted her to take action, or was experiencing ongoing issues, I may feel differently, but there's been no indication from OP that's the case.

tl;dr - Just shut up. Please.

This is not a case of people flexing helicopter Mom tendencies. That would be calling the Coach about playing time. Many of us have seen what happens when you don't speak up with these type of incidents. It goes from bad to worse because the perpetrators believe they can do what they want since nobody called them on their bullying actions. The next time it will be something worse. The adults have to be adults sometimes and do things that may make people uncomfortable.

OP this is a clear case of bullying and intimidation. There is no other way to look at and by not saying anything you are allowing these girls to get away with it. What happens when these same girls are named Captain's?

[Anonymous]

Op is probably afraid of the repercussions against her daughter if she tells. I am hoping someone else on the team or a parent at the school reading this thread will tell the school and the coach for her so she and her daughter don’t have to deal with added drama from the team parents or kids. Someone knows and should do the right thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
This is not a case of people flexing helicopter Mom tendencies. That would be calling the Coach about playing time. Many of us have seen what happens when you don't speak up with these type of incidents. It goes from bad to worse because the perpetrators believe they can do what they want since nobody called them on their bullying actions. The next time it will be something worse. The adults have to be adults sometimes and do things that may make people uncomfortable.

OP this is a clear case of bullying and intimidation. There is no other way to look at and by not saying anything you are allowing these girls to get away with it. What happens when these same girls are named Captain's?

What happens when they are the Varsity leaders? Imagine the hazing that is going to occur to the 9th graders.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP -

I am glad your daughter is in a better place, and it is natural with some distance from the event that she feels better. I can understand why she doesn't want you to tell the coach or school, and why you want to stay true to her wishes. I am really sympathetic to your position, BUT I really think the coach should know about this and not just for your daughter's sake. There is something really rotten happening with her entire team. Posters keep citing the two ring leaders, but unfortunately it is a much bigger problem than this. The entire team was in on it, had to keep silent for weeks - that is pretty calculated and disturbing and someone (ideally the coach) needs to get to the bottom of it.

You don't need to go with the nuclear approach that some are suggesting of calling colleges or alerting the media. You don't even need to demand specific punishments. I think you said some on the varsity team knows about this. There is a chance that the captains will go to the coach, but I think a neutral, factual explanation from an adult is in order.

Wishing for the best for both of you.

I agree.

I would say something.

Ignoring stuff like this is how we end up with news reports of varsity soccer players ending up sodomized in the locker room as part of some "team initiation" gone wrong. It never starts with the broomstick. There are piles of small humiliations leading up to this kind of thing.

If these girls are this bad now, imagine them in a year or two.

Good God, shut up, both of you. I initially said that if I were OP, I'd have contacted the coach, too. But her daughter asked her not to, OP decided to accede to her wishes, and so that ship has sailed. OP has made her decision, and she, and her daughter are at peace with it. This constant second-guessing just is not helpful, and ignores the fact that OP's daughter is not a little kid (she's at least 15 yo, from the context) and is entitled to have a say in how this is handled. The fact that you (and numerous others) feel like you know better because you're read a half dozen posts from OP is ludicrous - you're just flexing your helicopter Mom tendencies. And as for the suggestion that OP needs to do this for the good of the school, or the team, or society, and that silence is how kids end up "sodomized in the locker room as part of some "team initiation"" - stuff it. OP is concerned about her daughter's well-being. If her daughter wanted her to take action, or was experiencing ongoing issues, I may feel differently, but there's been no indication from OP that's the case.

tl;dr - Just shut up. Please.

This is not a case of people flexing helicopter Mom tendencies. That would be calling the Coach about playing time. Many of us have seen what happens when you don't speak up with these type of incidents. It goes from bad to worse because the perpetrators believe they can do what they want since nobody called them on their bullying actions. The next time it will be something worse. The adults have to be adults sometimes and do things that may make people uncomfortable.

OP this is a clear case of bullying and intimidation. There is no other way to look at and by not saying anything you are allowing these girls to get away with it. What happens when these same girls are named Captain's?

So you're saying that the 15 yo gets no say in this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP -

I am glad your daughter is in a better place, and it is natural with some distance from the event that she feels better. I can understand why she doesn't want you to tell the coach or school, and why you want to stay true to her wishes. I am really sympathetic to your position, BUT I really think the coach should know about this and not just for your daughter's sake. There is something really rotten happening with her entire team. Posters keep citing the two ring leaders, but unfortunately it is a much bigger problem than this. The entire team was in on it, had to keep silent for weeks - that is pretty calculated and disturbing and someone (ideally the coach) needs to get to the bottom of it.

You don't need to go with the nuclear approach that some are suggesting of calling colleges or alerting the media. You don't even need to demand specific punishments. I think you said some on the varsity team knows about this. There is a chance that the captains will go to the coach, but I think a neutral, factual explanation from an adult is in order.

Wishing for the best for both of you.

I agree.

I would say something.

Ignoring stuff like this is how we end up with news reports of varsity soccer players ending up sodomized in the locker room as part of some "team initiation" gone wrong. It never starts with the broomstick. There are piles of small humiliations leading up to this kind of thing.

If these girls are this bad now, imagine them in a year or two.

Good God, shut up, both of you. I initially said that if I were OP, I'd have contacted the coach, too. But her daughter asked her not to, OP decided to accede to her wishes, and so that ship has sailed. OP has made her decision, and she, and her daughter are at peace with it. This constant second-guessing just is not helpful, and ignores the fact that OP's daughter is not a little kid (she's at least 15 yo, from the context) and is entitled to have a say in how this is handled. The fact that you (and numerous others) feel like you know better because you're read a half dozen posts from OP is ludicrous - you're just flexing your helicopter Mom tendencies. And as for the suggestion that OP needs to do this for the good of the school, or the team, or society, and that silence is how kids end up "sodomized in the locker room as part of some "team initiation"" - stuff it. OP is concerned about her daughter's well-being. If her daughter wanted her to take action, or was experiencing ongoing issues, I may feel differently, but there's been no indication from OP that's the case.

tl;dr - Just shut up. Please.

This is not a case of people flexing helicopter Mom tendencies. That would be calling the Coach about playing time. Many of us have seen what happens when you don't speak up with these type of incidents. It goes from bad to worse because the perpetrators believe they can do what they want since nobody called them on their bullying actions. The next time it will be something worse. The adults have to be adults sometimes and do things that may make people uncomfortable.

OP this is a clear case of bullying and intimidation. There is no other way to look at and by not saying anything you are allowing these girls to get away with it. What happens when these same girls are named Captain's?

So you're saying that the 15 yo gets no say in this?

DP, if she is saying don’t tell Because she’s afraid of being retaliated against by the bully girls then I don’t think that’s a reason to not tell and I surmise that is why she’s saying don’t say anything, as well as being embarrassed. Shame and fear are Reasons bullies get away with the behavior.

[Anonymous]

Again, OP - your daughter is lucky to have a level haded mom like you (who does not discredit herself by jumping to outrageous conclusions!). Nice work, seriously. Some of the responses are over the top. There actually is a middle ground, and OP seems to be finding it, and doing what is right for her family. The over the top PPs seem to have some score to settle (probably from when they were kids). Deal with your own stuff, and let OP deal with hers the way she sees fit.

[Anonymous]

*headed

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP -

I am glad your daughter is in a better place, and it is natural with some distance from the event that she feels better. I can understand why she doesn't want you to tell the coach or school, and why you want to stay true to her wishes. I am really sympathetic to your position, BUT I really think the coach should know about this and not just for your daughter's sake. There is something really rotten happening with her entire team. Posters keep citing the two ring leaders, but unfortunately it is a much bigger problem than this. The entire team was in on it, had to keep silent for weeks - that is pretty calculated and disturbing and someone (ideally the coach) needs to get to the bottom of it.

You don't need to go with the nuclear approach that some are suggesting of calling colleges or alerting the media. You don't even need to demand specific punishments. I think you said some on the varsity team knows about this. There is a chance that the captains will go to the coach, but I think a neutral, factual explanation from an adult is in order.

Wishing for the best for both of you.

I agree.

I would say something.

Ignoring stuff like this is how we end up with news reports of varsity soccer players ending up sodomized in the locker room as part of some "team initiation" gone wrong. It never starts with the broomstick. There are piles of small humiliations leading up to this kind of thing.

If these girls are this bad now, imagine them in a year or two.

Good God, shut up, both of you. I initially said that if I were OP, I'd have contacted the coach, too. But her daughter asked her not to, OP decided to accede to her wishes, and so that ship has sailed. OP has made her decision, and she, and her daughter are at peace with it. This constant second-guessing just is not helpful, and ignores the fact that OP's daughter is not a little kid (she's at least 15 yo, from the context) and is entitled to have a say in how this is handled. The fact that you (and numerous others) feel like you know better because you're read a half dozen posts from OP is ludicrous - you're just flexing your helicopter Mom tendencies. And as for the suggestion that OP needs to do this for the good of the school, or the team, or society, and that silence is how kids end up "sodomized in the locker room as part of some "team initiation"" - stuff it. OP is concerned about her daughter's well-being. If her daughter wanted her to take action, or was experiencing ongoing issues, I may feel differently, but there's been no indication from OP that's the case.

tl;dr - Just shut up. Please.

This is not a case of people flexing helicopter Mom tendencies. That would be calling the Coach about playing time. Many of us have seen what happens when you don't speak up with these type of incidents. It goes from bad to worse because the perpetrators believe they can do what they want since nobody called them on their bullying actions. The next time it will be something worse. The adults have to be adults sometimes and do things that may make people uncomfortable.

OP this is a clear case of bullying and intimidation. There is no other way to look at and by not saying anything you are allowing these girls to get away with it. What happens when these same girls are named Captain's?

So you're saying that the 15 yo gets no say in this?

DP, if she is saying don’t tell Because she’s afraid of being retaliated against by the bully girls then I don’t think that’s a reason to not tell and I surmise that is why she’s saying don’t say anything, as well as being embarrassed. Shame and fear are Reasons bullies get away with the behavior.

I see. So basically, you're guessing, and have felt it appropriate to exhort OP to disregard her daughter's wishes based on this speculation. Got it.

Again, with all due respect, just shut up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP -

I am glad your daughter is in a better place, and it is natural with some distance from the event that she feels better. I can understand why she doesn't want you to tell the coach or school, and why you want to stay true to her wishes. I am really sympathetic to your position, BUT I really think the coach should know about this and not just for your daughter's sake. There is something really rotten happening with her entire team. Posters keep citing the two ring leaders, but unfortunately it is a much bigger problem than this. The entire team was in on it, had to keep silent for weeks - that is pretty calculated and disturbing and someone (ideally the coach) needs to get to the bottom of it.

You don't need to go with the nuclear approach that some are suggesting of calling colleges or alerting the media. You don't even need to demand specific punishments. I think you said some on the varsity team knows about this. There is a chance that the captains will go to the coach, but I think a neutral, factual explanation from an adult is in order.

Wishing for the best for both of you.

I agree.

I would say something.

Ignoring stuff like this is how we end up with news reports of varsity soccer players ending up sodomized in the locker room as part of some "team initiation" gone wrong. It never starts with the broomstick. There are piles of small humiliations leading up to this kind of thing.

If these girls are this bad now, imagine them in a year or two.

Good God, shut up, both of you. I initially said that if I were OP, I'd have contacted the coach, too. But her daughter asked her not to, OP decided to accede to her wishes, and so that ship has sailed. OP has made her decision, and she, and her daughter are at peace with it. This constant second-guessing just is not helpful, and ignores the fact that OP's daughter is not a little kid (she's at least 15 yo, from the context) and is entitled to have a say in how this is handled. The fact that you (and numerous others) feel like you know better because you're read a half dozen posts from OP is ludicrous - you're just flexing your helicopter Mom tendencies. And as for the suggestion that OP needs to do this for the good of the school, or the team, or society, and that silence is how kids end up "sodomized in the locker room as part of some "team initiation"" - stuff it. OP is concerned about her daughter's well-being. If her daughter wanted her to take action, or was experiencing ongoing issues, I may feel differently, but there's been no indication from OP that's the case.

tl;dr - Just shut up. Please.

This is not a case of people flexing helicopter Mom tendencies. That would be calling the Coach about playing time. Many of us have seen what happens when you don't speak up with these type of incidents. It goes from bad to worse because the perpetrators believe they can do what they want since nobody called them on their bullying actions. The next time it will be something worse. The adults have to be adults sometimes and do things that may make people uncomfortable.

OP this is a clear case of bullying and intimidation. There is no other way to look at and by not saying anything you are allowing these girls to get away with it. What happens when these same girls are named Captain's?

So you're saying that the 15 yo gets no say in this?

DP, if she is saying don’t tell Because she’s afraid of being retaliated against by the bully girls then I don’t think that’s a reason to not tell and I surmise that is why she’s saying don’t say anything, as well as being embarrassed. Shame and fear are Reasons bullies get away with the behavior.

I see. So basically, you're guessing, and have felt it appropriate to exhort OP to disregard her daughter's wishes based on this speculation. Got it.

Again, with all due respect, just shut up.

NP, and I haven't commented before, but I do think sometimes adults have to go against a child's wish to stay silent. That's kind of the point of being an adult and a parent - sometimes making tough choices.

I recall my good friend calling me very upset - her daughter had confided in her that daughter's friend (age 13) was exchanging sexually charged messages with some older men on the internet. Daughter begged her mom not to tell because then her friend would know that daughter told. My friend was torn, because she didn't want her daughter to lose trust in her. Still, obviously the right thing to do was to reach out to the friend's parents or school.

One thing I recall asking my friend was why she thought her daughter told her? I think, deep down, daughter was afraid for her friend and did want /need an adult to step in and do the right thing. It wasn't something that she was equipped to handle. By telling her mom she was, maybe subconsciously, trying to pass that burden on to an adult. And it then became incumbant on my friend to act like an adult and make an adult decision. And sometimes that means explaining to your child that keeping silent is, while the path of least resistance, not always the right choice. That's where the parenting comes in - you can't always do what your kid wants. Sometimes you need to make an unpopular call because it's the right thing to do. A good parent will be able to explain that to their child.

I'm not saying that going to the coach here is definitely the right way to proceed. I don't feel like I have enough information to make that call. But, while OP's daughters wishes should be considered, they shouldn't necessarily be determinative. OP is the adult.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP -

I am glad your daughter is in a better place, and it is natural with some distance from the event that she feels better. I can understand why she doesn't want you to tell the coach or school, and why you want to stay true to her wishes. I am really sympathetic to your position, BUT I really think the coach should know about this and not just for your daughter's sake. There is something really rotten happening with her entire team. Posters keep citing the two ring leaders, but unfortunately it is a much bigger problem than this. The entire team was in on it, had to keep silent for weeks - that is pretty calculated and disturbing and someone (ideally the coach) needs to get to the bottom of it.

You don't need to go with the nuclear approach that some are suggesting of calling colleges or alerting the media. You don't even need to demand specific punishments. I think you said some on the varsity team knows about this. There is a chance that the captains will go to the coach, but I think a neutral, factual explanation from an adult is in order.

Wishing for the best for both of you.

I agree.

I would say something.

Ignoring stuff like this is how we end up with news reports of varsity soccer players ending up sodomized in the locker room as part of some "team initiation" gone wrong. It never starts with the broomstick. There are piles of small humiliations leading up to this kind of thing.

If these girls are this bad now, imagine them in a year or two.

Good God, shut up, both of you. I initially said that if I were OP, I'd have contacted the coach, too. But her daughter asked her not to, OP decided to accede to her wishes, and so that ship has sailed. OP has made her decision, and she, and her daughter are at peace with it. This constant second-guessing just is not helpful, and ignores the fact that OP's daughter is not a little kid (she's at least 15 yo, from the context) and is entitled to have a say in how this is handled. The fact that you (and numerous others) feel like you know better because you're read a half dozen posts from OP is ludicrous - you're just flexing your helicopter Mom tendencies. And as for the suggestion that OP needs to do this for the good of the school, or the team, or society, and that silence is how kids end up "sodomized in the locker room as part of some "team initiation"" - stuff it. OP is concerned about her daughter's well-being. If her daughter wanted her to take action, or was experiencing ongoing issues, I may feel differently, but there's been no indication from OP that's the case.

tl;dr - Just shut up. Please.

This is not a case of people flexing helicopter Mom tendencies. That would be calling the Coach about playing time. Many of us have seen what happens when you don't speak up with these type of incidents. It goes from bad to worse because the perpetrators believe they can do what they want since nobody called them on their bullying actions. The next time it will be something worse. The adults have to be adults sometimes and do things that may make people uncomfortable.

OP this is a clear case of bullying and intimidation. There is no other way to look at and by not saying anything you are allowing these girls to get away with it. What happens when these same girls are named Captain's?

So you're saying that the 15 yo gets no say in this?

DP, if she is saying don’t tell Because she’s afraid of being retaliated against by the bully girls then I don’t think that’s a reason to not tell and I surmise that is why she’s saying don’t say anything, as well as being embarrassed. Shame and fear are Reasons bullies get away with the behavior.

I see. So basically, you're guessing, and have felt it appropriate to exhort OP to disregard her daughter's wishes based on this speculation. Got it.

Again, with all due respect, just shut up.

Yikes I think the parent or the daughter accused of doing this mean thing has found this thread and now they’re bullying us!

[Anonymous]

OP - I think you should ask this thread to be taken down. I'm glad people were helpful, but your daughter REALLY doesn't need this to be public, and there are some terribly meanspirited people out there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP - I think you should ask this thread to be taken down. I'm glad people were helpful, but your daughter REALLY doesn't need this to be public, and there are some terribly meanspirited people out there.

Her daughter has nothing to be embarrassed about. She has done nothing but show grace to her teammates despite what happened to her. If anything the girls involved should be embarrassed and I’m a little suspicious of your post and your intentions.