Reply to WWYD? Struggling to help my devastated teen DD whose friends/teammates pranked her.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]She may not wish to update, as so many are badgering her for the decisions she has made so far. [/quote]

It's not that.  This is OP.  All of the responses and the crowdsourcing has been really helpful.  Reading your ideas and seeing your critiques of them online has also been enormously helpful.  And I have been truly touched by the collective support that at times has brought me to tears.  A PP said a while back that at least everyone agrees that the stunt was either cruel or bullying and I must admit that that universal sentiment educated me and has also buoyed me and helped me to help my DD (in that heart-to-heart I actually said to her I would not refer to the prank as a prank any longer because it was straight up bullying).

But...the situation has just gotten a little trickier and I will likely lay low off these boards now and let things play out.

On one hand, my DD seems to have gotten to a much better place.  Though she continues to ask me not to go to the administration or the coach, our talks (aided by your ideas) have helped her take off her rose colored glasses about her teammates.  As I said before, she has decided to remain on the team but will not put all her eggs in that friendship basket.  She actually chose an entirely different group of kids to hang out with this weekend (as opposed to teammates or just staying home) and I was thrilled.  She also has decided to take me up on my offer to get her some extra coaching to help strengthen her skills so that there is no question about whether she merits her position as a starter or, hopefully, that will help her jump to the next level (varsity).

OTOH, I think the parent situation has gotten trickier.  There is one fact I've been holding back from this board: a team parent (not Arranger-Parent) is also a teacher at the school.  It was this person I assumed I would see yesterday, among others, and I was waiting to gauge their reaction -- I thought it would tell me a lot since it was their DD who said she felt bad (so I assume Teacher-Parent knows).  [b]But[/b], did Teacher-Parent find out from her DD before or during or after?  Did/Will Teacher-Parent tell coach or administration?  Well, I did not see Teacher-Parent [i]but[/i] I was asked to coffee later this week by another parent to "catch up" in a way that made me wonder whether this Coffee-Parent is fully aware. I believe this is a sympathetic parent and perhaps reading this thread???  If so, I appreciate your offer for coffee and conversation.

I don't know where this is going to all lead now but I am happy that my DD is in a better place and is holding her head high.  I will update if I can.

-OP
[/quote]

I am not really understanding why the teacher- parent is more tricky. Is it because as a teacher she is required in some way to report bullying? If the answer is yes, then she should do her job and report it and who knows maybe she has.

I think the longer you take inaction the easier it will be for both you and  your DD to keep back pedaling. Call the coach today and set up a meeting and go and discuss.  That's a normal reaction and is expected in a situation like this. [/quote]

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