When sorority rush goes wrong

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One thing that was interesting for my daughter, was that she met more people with similar majors in certain sororities. There definitely seemed to be some sororities which either attracted more pre-health students or, perhaps, kept them through the process. When you look at their highlighted internship opportunities, it made sense. These may not have been the most prolific on social media, but likely a better house for someone with the type of academic schedule that comes along with being pre-health.

That is deliberate on the sorority’s part. A result of the overorchestrarion of rush these days. Girls are often limited to only talking to those with the same major and only a few girls each night, much different from meet as many sisters as possible rushes of past decades. Girls then have to hope their assigned girls have a lot of pull in the sorority or they need preexisting ties to the sorority, such as other girls from their high schools attending, an older sibling, etc. . .

Many posters don’t seem to understand how rush works these days. Everything is computerized, and designed to get the highest yield at each house. The top houses have to cut a ton on girls each night, the lower houses keep far more. A bottom house that underperforms reaching quota by a lot each year will be allowed to cut almost no girls. It’s possible for a girl to be ranked far higher at a top houses where she is cut than a bottom house where she keeps getting invited back, in fact, often the case.

Ha! My daughter told me she kept meeting girls with similar ECs or majors. I figured she must have been assigned them on purpose. That's interesting about how the cuts are made.So are you saying a girl could be 80 at one house, but they invite 70 and 110 at another house that invites 140?

I'm not the PP but chiming in here anyway. Yes, that can happen. The "top" houses make bigger cuts because most of the girls they choose will choose them back. The "bottom" houses make smaller cuts because most of the girls they choose will NOT choose them back (even if it means dropping out of rush altogether). And the whole point is to get every house a full pledge class.

But keep in mind, at the end of the day, each sorority can only extend, lets say, 50 bids. So the girl ranked 70 at the top house is not ultimately getting into that house and cutting her early gives her the opportunity to explore other options that might not be on her radar while under the false hope she's destined to be a [insert top house here].

Adding to this: some of these top houses could fill their pledge classes with legacies, young women whose sisters, cousins, mothers, aunts and grandmothers were members. Forty years ago, at my sorority, we created our ideal pledge class list long before rush, which included only a percentage of legacies, which meant many were cut after a few courtesy invitations. All lovely young women and very disappointed. The rest of the ideal pledge class had support not only from current members, but also multiple recommendations from extremely well connected alumnae. So there really weren't too many spots open for unhooked rushees. Think of it like the unhooked admissions lottery at colleges only accepting single digits.

Of course, this isn't the norm at all colleges. But at some it's reality

A number of sororities no longer consider legacies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One thing that was interesting for my daughter, was that she met more people with similar majors in certain sororities. There definitely seemed to be some sororities which either attracted more pre-health students or, perhaps, kept them through the process. When you look at their highlighted internship opportunities, it made sense. These may not have been the most prolific on social media, but likely a better house for someone with the type of academic schedule that comes along with being pre-health.

That is deliberate on the sorority’s part. A result of the overorchestrarion of rush these days. Girls are often limited to only talking to those with the same major and only a few girls each night, much different from meet as many sisters as possible rushes of past decades. Girls then have to hope their assigned girls have a lot of pull in the sorority or they need preexisting ties to the sorority, such as other girls from their high schools attending, an older sibling, etc. . .

Many posters don’t seem to understand how rush works these days. Everything is computerized, and designed to get the highest yield at each house. The top houses have to cut a ton on girls each night, the lower houses keep far more. A bottom house that underperforms reaching quota by a lot each year will be allowed to cut almost no girls. It’s possible for a girl to be ranked far higher at a top houses where she is cut than a bottom house where she keeps getting invited back, in fact, often the case.

Ha! My daughter told me she kept meeting girls with similar ECs or majors. I figured she must have been assigned them on purpose. That's interesting about how the cuts are made.So are you saying a girl could be 80 at one house, but they invite 70 and 110 at another house that invites 140?

I'm not the PP but chiming in here anyway. Yes, that can happen. The "top" houses make bigger cuts because most of the girls they choose will choose them back. The "bottom" houses make smaller cuts because most of the girls they choose will NOT choose them back (even if it means dropping out of rush altogether). And the whole point is to get every house a full pledge class.

But keep in mind, at the end of the day, each sorority can only extend, lets say, 50 bids. So the girl ranked 70 at the top house is not ultimately getting into that house and cutting her early gives her the opportunity to explore other options that might not be on her radar while under the false hope she's destined to be a [insert top house here].

While this is true, there seems to be a sentiment on this thread that the girls should accept bids from "lower" houses because the girls there "wanted" them more. Might not be the case on either side, the lower house just wants a full pledge class. Top houses don't have to worry about meeting quota.

I'm the PP and I (for one) don't think any girl should accept a bid from a house she's not interested in. And unlike some, I don't think it's necessarily snobbery on her part; choice works both ways and it's supposed to me MUTUAL selection. I'm just saying I think it's better to know sooner than later what your actual options are.

I think this analogy came up on a similar thread at some point, but it's like if I have a crush on the star QB and I (along with every other girl at school) is hoping he'll ask me to prom. He seems to like me and he's showing some interest in me (and why not, I'm pretty and fun and nice), so I've got my hopes up... but he likes the cheer captain better than he likes me. I may not be his last choice, but I'm not his first choice either, so the sooner I know he's going with the cheerleader the better. Then I can at least consider if I want to go to prom with the drum major or the mathlete or the class president or the newspaper editor instead. I don't have to go with any of them if I don't like them, but maybe (MAYBE) I'd rather accept one of their invitations than be home dateless on prom night.

I think most of the girls cut early from their two or three top choices just drop. Which lowers quota since it’s based on the number of girls signing preference cards.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One thing that was interesting for my daughter, was that she met more people with similar majors in certain sororities. There definitely seemed to be some sororities which either attracted more pre-health students or, perhaps, kept them through the process. When you look at their highlighted internship opportunities, it made sense. These may not have been the most prolific on social media, but likely a better house for someone with the type of academic schedule that comes along with being pre-health.

That is deliberate on the sorority’s part. A result of the overorchestrarion of rush these days. Girls are often limited to only talking to those with the same major and only a few girls each night, much different from meet as many sisters as possible rushes of past decades. Girls then have to hope their assigned girls have a lot of pull in the sorority or they need preexisting ties to the sorority, such as other girls from their high schools attending, an older sibling, etc. . .

Many posters don’t seem to understand how rush works these days. Everything is computerized, and designed to get the highest yield at each house. The top houses have to cut a ton on girls each night, the lower houses keep far more. A bottom house that underperforms reaching quota by a lot each year will be allowed to cut almost no girls. It’s possible for a girl to be ranked far higher at a top houses where she is cut than a bottom house where she keeps getting invited back, in fact, often the case.

Ha! My daughter told me she kept meeting girls with similar ECs or majors. I figured she must have been assigned them on purpose. That's interesting about how the cuts are made.So are you saying a girl could be 80 at one house, but they invite 70 and 110 at another house that invites 140?

I'm not the PP but chiming in here anyway. Yes, that can happen. The "top" houses make bigger cuts because most of the girls they choose will choose them back. The "bottom" houses make smaller cuts because most of the girls they choose will NOT choose them back (even if it means dropping out of rush altogether). And the whole point is to get every house a full pledge class.

But keep in mind, at the end of the day, each sorority can only extend, lets say, 50 bids. So the girl ranked 70 at the top house is not ultimately getting into that house and cutting her early gives her the opportunity to explore other options that might not be on her radar while under the false hope she's destined to be a [insert top house here].

Adding to this: some of these top houses could fill their pledge classes with legacies, young women whose sisters, cousins, mothers, aunts and grandmothers were members. Forty years ago, at my sorority, we created our ideal pledge class list long before rush, which included only a percentage of legacies, which meant many were cut after a few courtesy invitations. All lovely young women and very disappointed. The rest of the ideal pledge class had support not only from current members, but also multiple recommendations from extremely well connected alumnae. So there really weren't too many spots open for unhooked rushees. Think of it like the unhooked admissions lottery at colleges only accepting single digits.

Of course, this isn't the norm at all colleges. But at some it's reality

A number of sororities no longer consider legacies.

The theta chapter at Emory certainly doesn't! (And yeah, I'm calling you out ladies)

It's probably for the best, those weren't her people anyway, but it never would have happened back in the day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One thing that was interesting for my daughter, was that she met more people with similar majors in certain sororities. There definitely seemed to be some sororities which either attracted more pre-health students or, perhaps, kept them through the process. When you look at their highlighted internship opportunities, it made sense. These may not have been the most prolific on social media, but likely a better house for someone with the type of academic schedule that comes along with being pre-health.

That is deliberate on the sorority’s part. A result of the overorchestrarion of rush these days. Girls are often limited to only talking to those with the same major and only a few girls each night, much different from meet as many sisters as possible rushes of past decades. Girls then have to hope their assigned girls have a lot of pull in the sorority or they need preexisting ties to the sorority, such as other girls from their high schools attending, an older sibling, etc. . .

Many posters don’t seem to understand how rush works these days. Everything is computerized, and designed to get the highest yield at each house. The top houses have to cut a ton on girls each night, the lower houses keep far more. A bottom house that underperforms reaching quota by a lot each year will be allowed to cut almost no girls. It’s possible for a girl to be ranked far higher at a top houses where she is cut than a bottom house where she keeps getting invited back, in fact, often the case.

Ha! My daughter told me she kept meeting girls with similar ECs or majors. I figured she must have been assigned them on purpose. That's interesting about how the cuts are made.So are you saying a girl could be 80 at one house, but they invite 70 and 110 at another house that invites 140?

I'm not the PP but chiming in here anyway. Yes, that can happen. The "top" houses make bigger cuts because most of the girls they choose will choose them back. The "bottom" houses make smaller cuts because most of the girls they choose will NOT choose them back (even if it means dropping out of rush altogether). And the whole point is to get every house a full pledge class.

But keep in mind, at the end of the day, each sorority can only extend, lets say, 50 bids. So the girl ranked 70 at the top house is not ultimately getting into that house and cutting her early gives her the opportunity to explore other options that might not be on her radar while under the false hope she's destined to be a [insert top house here].

While this is true, there seems to be a sentiment on this thread that the girls should accept bids from "lower" houses because the girls there "wanted" them more. Might not be the case on either side, the lower house just wants a full pledge class. Top houses don't have to worry about meeting quota.

I'm the PP and I (for one) don't think any girl should accept a bid from a house she's not interested in. And unlike some, I don't think it's necessarily snobbery on her part; choice works both ways and it's supposed to me MUTUAL selection. I'm just saying I think it's better to know sooner than later what your actual options are.

I think this analogy came up on a similar thread at some point, but it's like if I have a crush on the star QB and I (along with every other girl at school) is hoping he'll ask me to prom. He seems to like me and he's showing some interest in me (and why not, I'm pretty and fun and nice), so I've got my hopes up... but he likes the cheer captain better than he likes me. I may not be his last choice, but I'm not his first choice either, so the sooner I know he's going with the cheerleader the better. Then I can at least consider if I want to go to prom with the drum major or the mathlete or the class president or the newspaper editor instead. I don't have to go with any of them if I don't like them, but maybe (MAYBE) I'd rather accept one of their invitations than be home dateless on prom night.

OMG. Are you actually a functioning adult?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One thing that was interesting for my daughter, was that she met more people with similar majors in certain sororities. There definitely seemed to be some sororities which either attracted more pre-health students or, perhaps, kept them through the process. When you look at their highlighted internship opportunities, it made sense. These may not have been the most prolific on social media, but likely a better house for someone with the type of academic schedule that comes along with being pre-health.

That is deliberate on the sorority’s part. A result of the overorchestrarion of rush these days. Girls are often limited to only talking to those with the same major and only a few girls each night, much different from meet as many sisters as possible rushes of past decades. Girls then have to hope their assigned girls have a lot of pull in the sorority or they need preexisting ties to the sorority, such as other girls from their high schools attending, an older sibling, etc. . .

Many posters don’t seem to understand how rush works these days. Everything is computerized, and designed to get the highest yield at each house. The top houses have to cut a ton on girls each night, the lower houses keep far more. A bottom house that underperforms reaching quota by a lot each year will be allowed to cut almost no girls. It’s possible for a girl to be ranked far higher at a top houses where she is cut than a bottom house where she keeps getting invited back, in fact, often the case.

Ha! My daughter told me she kept meeting girls with similar ECs or majors. I figured she must have been assigned them on purpose. That's interesting about how the cuts are made.So are you saying a girl could be 80 at one house, but they invite 70 and 110 at another house that invites 140?

I'm not the PP but chiming in here anyway. Yes, that can happen. The "top" houses make bigger cuts because most of the girls they choose will choose them back. The "bottom" houses make smaller cuts because most of the girls they choose will NOT choose them back (even if it means dropping out of rush altogether). And the whole point is to get every house a full pledge class.

But keep in mind, at the end of the day, each sorority can only extend, lets say, 50 bids. So the girl ranked 70 at the top house is not ultimately getting into that house and cutting her early gives her the opportunity to explore other options that might not be on her radar while under the false hope she's destined to be a [insert top house here].

Adding to this: some of these top houses could fill their pledge classes with legacies, young women whose sisters, cousins, mothers, aunts and grandmothers were members. Forty years ago, at my sorority, we created our ideal pledge class list long before rush, which included only a percentage of legacies, which meant many were cut after a few courtesy invitations. All lovely young women and very disappointed. The rest of the ideal pledge class had support not only from current members, but also multiple recommendations from extremely well connected alumnae. So there really weren't too many spots open for unhooked rushees. Think of it like the unhooked admissions lottery at colleges only accepting single digits.

Of course, this isn't the norm at all colleges. But at some it's reality

Legacy status and references don’t matter anymore, as set by national organizational guidelines, though you are allowed to send them to chapters as an alum. This policy change has been since around 2018 to be more inclusive. I can say it’s true as a friend’s daughter was a triple generational legacy for a sorority and was dropped by the chapter early in Rush. Legacy status used to be a courtesy pathway through the first round of cuts, but that’s not true anymore.

[Anonymous]

Mean girls’ club

[Anonymous]

I hear of people getting references/letters from alums, but the Panhellenic chapters at the college said absolutely do not bother to send them in because sororities no longer consider references at all. Is this true or is it one of those IYKYK and DD should have been getting letters from all my Mom friends that were members of the various top houses?

[Anonymous]

So what did she end up doing?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So what did she end up doing?

Isn't MI rush still going on?

[Anonymous]

Yes, it is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This seems like an odd thing for a parent to be involved in. You know she’s an adult right?

She's a teenage college kid AKA a child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hear of people getting references/letters from alums, but the Panhellenic chapters at the college said absolutely do not bother to send them in because sororities no longer consider references at all. Is this true or is it one of those IYKYK and DD should have been getting letters from all my Mom friends that were members of the various top houses?

At UCLA, they 100 percent get references and it matters.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It happened to my daughter. It was awful. Really traumatic and made her feel liek there was something wrong with her. She is objectively funny, smart, kind, gorgeous. I flew her home immediately-literally the day she was dropped by the top sororities. Her roommates were all into the sororities of choice and she didn’t want to be around them with all the activities, etc. This was at a winter rush school when the girls arrived a week before classes. She was invited back to the top sororities all week until the last night before bid day. She was dirty rushed by these two houses all fall. She discussed a transfer, but ended up staying. Rushed sophomore year and none of the top houses took sophomores that year, so she dropped out early on. It sucked. She still can’t talk about it without getting teary eyed. Tons of girls from these houses reached out to her afterwards. She ended up being best friends with girls from 3 different sororities and went to just as many formals as they did. They all invited her as their date (girls do this at her school) and invited to fraternity formals too. It turned out fine. Mom talking here, but my girl is pretty amazing and it truly taught her resilience. That said, I know HATE rush. My son is heading to college next year. He plans to rush and I really hope it isn’t as brutal.

I can't believe you wrote this and thought it would make you, and your daughter, seem sympathetic. So she was only interested in a "top house?" Lovely.

[Anonymous]

Without a whale tale thong and three binder sport bra you're always on the outs.....

[Anonymous]

Wondering how recruitment has wrapped up for those going through it at UVA. My daughter was really surprised at the houses that asked her back for preference round, as at one of them specifically she hasn’t felt like there’s been really great conversations/connections made. I am not really sure how the process works there, but does that mean that that chapter rated her higher on their list than another chapter that she had maybe ranked higher and didn’t get asked back to did? The ones she got back for the last round are both great chapters, but she really cannot see herself at one of them based on the girls she has met through the earlier rounds. I told her that the chapters are huge and she’s only met a handful of the girls in it, and if she ends up getting a bid to that one then she’d be going in with so many other new girls/it’s a great chance to meet more people. I have been pretty uninvolved in the whole thing, so hoping I gave her good advice.

FWIW she really is going through rush to find her tribe. She joined clubs, club sports etc already 1st semester, but hasn’t really found her people yet and was hopeful a sorority would help do that. Anyone with UVA specific experience to shed light on how the computer matches girls in the final round?