If you had an affair with a married person

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know several children whose fathers cheated. It devastated them. One women is incredibly insecure. In college she would wake up before her boyfriend to go pick full make up on so she would look "perfect" when he first saw her each day. And she was naturally beautiful. So sad. But she feared that she would lose him otherwise. Another saw her devoted mom alone, rejected and sad for the end of her life, while she HAD to watch her father have a new baby with his young secretary (both of whom had betrayed her mom) if she wanted any relationship with her dad at all. It was so painful for her.

Any stories where the mother cheated? I have some.

I know of two families where the mom had a child from an affair, and each mom pretended the baby belonged to her husband. This happens often enough that DNA testing should be a normal part of a newborn's hospital stay.

I know of another where the mom had an affair with their pastor and tried to blame getting an STD on the dad.

Let's get a little balance here.

I know one that invites men off the websites to bang her in the family home when her kids are at school and husband at work….for over a decade. Multiple affairs. No condoms needed. Husband still married to her. Neighbor. And, no, it’s not an open marriage. She pretends to be loving mom and wife. It’s sickening.

The MYOB cult here will hate this, but I'd consider outing her to the DH anonymously. He should realize that he might end up with an STI. Seriously, this is one reason why the cheated-on spouses, men or women, need to know about the cheating--especially in this case with the cheater having sex with not just one AP over a long time but a lot of different people.

Yeah. I'm part of this cult. We're called grownups.

You can be whatever you want to be, dear.

Enjoy all your cats!

Sadly my kids are allergic so we don’t have cats. But me and my husband and children are all quite content, so thanks! Enjoy stirring up drama in your small little life, Karen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know several children whose fathers cheated. It devastated them. One women is incredibly insecure. In college she would wake up before her boyfriend to go pick full make up on so she would look "perfect" when he first saw her each day. And she was naturally beautiful. So sad. But she feared that she would lose him otherwise. Another saw her devoted mom alone, rejected and sad for the end of her life, while she HAD to watch her father have a new baby with his young secretary (both of whom had betrayed her mom) if she wanted any relationship with her dad at all. It was so painful for her.

Any stories where the mother cheated? I have some.

I know of two families where the mom had a child from an affair, and each mom pretended the baby belonged to her husband. This happens often enough that DNA testing should be a normal part of a newborn's hospital stay.

I know of another where the mom had an affair with their pastor and tried to blame getting an STD on the dad.

Let's get a little balance here.

I know one that invites men off the websites to bang her in the family home when her kids are at school and husband at work….for over a decade. Multiple affairs. No condoms needed. Husband still married to her. Neighbor. And, no, it’s not an open marriage. She pretends to be loving mom and wife. It’s sickening.

The MYOB cult here will hate this, but I'd consider outing her to the DH anonymously. He should realize that he might end up with an STI. Seriously, this is one reason why the cheated-on spouses, men or women, need to know about the cheating--especially in this case with the cheater having sex with not just one AP over a long time but a lot of different people.

Yeah. I'm part of this cult. We're called grownups.

So you grownups think another adult has no real right to agency over his own life and does not deserve to know if he's being exposed to STIs. Got it. You're the "Live and let live, MYOB" folks. At least, until you're the ones cheated on.

Grownups don’t insert themselves into others’ marriages. Especially if they are not best friends. It’s trashy AF and there is likely to be blowback on the busybody. You simply do not know what goes on behind closed doors.

If you’re a very good friend to the betrayed spouse I think you absolutely do. That’s not PP’s situation but as I friend I won’t add betrayal to somebody who has already been betrayed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know several children whose fathers cheated. It devastated them. One women is incredibly insecure. In college she would wake up before her boyfriend to go pick full make up on so she would look "perfect" when he first saw her each day. And she was naturally beautiful. So sad. But she feared that she would lose him otherwise. Another saw her devoted mom alone, rejected and sad for the end of her life, while she HAD to watch her father have a new baby with his young secretary (both of whom had betrayed her mom) if she wanted any relationship with her dad at all. It was so painful for her.

Any stories where the mother cheated? I have some.

I know of two families where the mom had a child from an affair, and each mom pretended the baby belonged to her husband. This happens often enough that DNA testing should be a normal part of a newborn's hospital stay.

I know of another where the mom had an affair with their pastor and tried to blame getting an STD on the dad.

Let's get a little balance here.

I know one that invites men off the websites to bang her in the family home when her kids are at school and husband at work….for over a decade. Multiple affairs. No condoms needed. Husband still married to her. Neighbor. And, no, it’s not an open marriage. She pretends to be loving mom and wife. It’s sickening.

Maybe a “hot wife?”

And who exactly is she pretending to? You?? Maybe the husband knows.

He definitely did not know. It came out but she downplayed it and mind warped him. A Willingness to disbelieve on his part. He has no idea how bad it was. She made it sound like a one time thing and a disgruntled wife from what I was told. No shame on her part, but half the zip code knows about her escapades.

Youngest is graduating from HS this month so it will be interesting if he walks after this. But then I guess the house will be free for longer hours…

Sounds like only if she can find another sucker to support her if she does leave. But sounds like she’s old now. Gotta be in her 50s by now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know several children whose fathers cheated. It devastated them. One women is incredibly insecure. In college she would wake up before her boyfriend to go pick full make up on so she would look "perfect" when he first saw her each day. And she was naturally beautiful. So sad. But she feared that she would lose him otherwise. Another saw her devoted mom alone, rejected and sad for the end of her life, while she HAD to watch her father have a new baby with his young secretary (both of whom had betrayed her mom) if she wanted any relationship with her dad at all. It was so painful for her.

Any stories where the mother cheated? I have some.

I know of two families where the mom had a child from an affair, and each mom pretended the baby belonged to her husband. This happens often enough that DNA testing should be a normal part of a newborn's hospital stay.

I know of another where the mom had an affair with their pastor and tried to blame getting an STD on the dad.

Let's get a little balance here.

Wow, do you sound bitter! The point of the post was whether PARENTAL affairs harm children.

But you obviously have a gender axe to grind, so saw it through the lens of gender imbalance. The poster was not reporting survey results, she was recounting actual anecdotes from her life. But you, crusader for all men and justice, have righted her wrong.

Too funny...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know several children whose fathers cheated. It devastated them. One women is incredibly insecure. In college she would wake up before her boyfriend to go pick full make up on so she would look "perfect" when he first saw her each day. And she was naturally beautiful. So sad. But she feared that she would lose him otherwise. Another saw her devoted mom alone, rejected and sad for the end of her life, while she HAD to watch her father have a new baby with his young secretary (both of whom had betrayed her mom) if she wanted any relationship with her dad at all. It was so painful for her.

Any stories where the mother cheated? I have some.

I know of two families where the mom had a child from an affair, and each mom pretended the baby belonged to her husband. This happens often enough that DNA testing should be a normal part of a newborn's hospital stay.

I know of another where the mom had an affair with their pastor and tried to blame getting an STD on the dad.

Let's get a little balance here.

I know one that invites men off the websites to bang her in the family home when her kids are at school and husband at work….for over a decade. Multiple affairs. No condoms needed. Husband still married to her. Neighbor. And, no, it’s not an open marriage. She pretends to be loving mom and wife. It’s sickening.

The MYOB cult here will hate this, but I'd consider outing her to the DH anonymously. He should realize that he might end up with an STI. Seriously, this is one reason why the cheated-on spouses, men or women, need to know about the cheating--especially in this case with the cheater having sex with not just one AP over a long time but a lot of different people.

Yeah. I'm part of this cult. We're called grownups.

So you grownups think another adult has no real right to agency over his own life and does not deserve to know if he's being exposed to STIs. Got it. You're the "Live and let live, MYOB" folks. At least, until you're the ones cheated on.

Grownups don’t insert themselves into others’ marriages. Especially if they are not best friends. It’s trashy AF and there is likely to be blowback on the busybody. You simply do not know what goes on behind closed doors.

If you’re a very good friend to the betrayed spouse I think you absolutely do. That’s not PP’s situation but as I friend I won’t add betrayal to somebody who has already been betrayed.

+1 to the above. You're responding to a high and mighty PP who was responding to me. Thanks for nailing the answer. I still would likely out the neighbor even if the spouse and I weren't close friends. He deserves to know he's at high risk for STIs thanks to his spouse finding men online for multiple affairs. "Hey, Bill, I've noticed a lot of men coming and going at the house during the day the past few months. Are you having some work done in the house? A guy was here just yesterday afternoon. Didn't see a work truck, though." Don't care if that earlier PP thinks it's not "grown up" enough for them. If the DH knows all about it, he can shrug it off and tell me, "Oh, yeah, getting some work done on the house, that's all." No blowback involved.

[Anonymous]

I've been with 8 different married women and 4 women in relationships. I do t feel any way at all towards their partners or family. You are being way too dramatic. When they were with me, they were escaping their partner for a few hours and none of them wanted out of their marriage. They just wanted sex. It's not that complicated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband recently had an affair. About an 8 month thing. We have two kids and married 21 years. We are trying to work it out and stay together, in counseling etc. the AP was 18 years younger than him and had never been married or had kids. She was definitely thinking we’d divorce, which he lead her to believe and she would step in. She bugs the s#%^ out of me as she’s supposedly a feminist, meditation, new age, karma, type of person. The hypocrisy is astounding.

Is that you, Natalie Portman?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've been with 8 different married women and 4 women in relationships. I do t feel any way at all towards their partners or family. You are being way too dramatic. When they were with me, they were escaping their partner for a few hours and none of them wanted out of their marriage. They just wanted sex. It's not that complicated.

Really? It wasn’t undying, everlasting love to them like Apps in other threads claim it to be . Just sex to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband recently had an affair. About an 8 month thing. We have two kids and married 21 years. We are trying to work it out and stay together, in counseling etc. the AP was 18 years younger than him and had never been married or had kids. She was definitely thinking we’d divorce, which he lead her to believe and she would step in. She bugs the s#%^ out of me as she’s supposedly a feminist, meditation, new age, karma, type of person. The hypocrisy is astounding.

Is that you, Natalie Portman?

I am not making excuses for this younger woman, but you can’t expect her to really know anything about marriage or being a parent when she hasn’t experienced either. Having parents doesn’t give you the necessary experience to empathize. It is normal to be somewhat self-absorbed especially after being led on by a glamorous older guy. You can be a feminist and still make poor choices. I bet in her mind she wished you no ill. Guessing she won’t be involved with a married man again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've been with 8 different married women and 4 women in relationships. I do t feel any way at all towards their partners or family. You are being way too dramatic. When they were with me, they were escaping their partner for a few hours and none of them wanted out of their marriage. They just wanted sex. It's not that complicated.

Really? It wasn’t undying, everlasting love to them like Apps in other threads claim it to be . Just sex to you.

It was just sex to both of us in all the affairs. Is that hard to understand?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've been with 8 different married women and 4 women in relationships. I do t feel any way at all towards their partners or family. You are being way too dramatic. When they were with me, they were escaping their partner for a few hours and none of them wanted out of their marriage. They just wanted sex. It's not that complicated.

Really? It wasn’t undying, everlasting love to them like Apps in other threads claim it to be . Just sex to you.

It was just sex to both of us in all the affairs. Is that hard to understand?

No. I was being sarcastic because of all the OW/APs on this forum that claim all the men love/d them. It was just the kids making him stay with the wife —even the APs that were married too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've been with 8 different married women and 4 women in relationships. I do t feel any way at all towards their partners or family. You are being way too dramatic. When they were with me, they were escaping their partner for a few hours and none of them wanted out of their marriage. They just wanted sex. It's not that complicated.

Really? It wasn’t undying, everlasting love to them like Apps in other threads claim it to be . Just sex to you.

It was just sex to both of us in all the affairs. Is that hard to understand?

No. I was being sarcastic because of all the OW/APs on this forum that claim all the men love/d them. It was just the kids making him stay with the wife —even the APs that were married too.

I’d be interested to know how long each of his affairs were because I have never met a woman that didn’t get feels and want more of it was longer than 1 year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've been with 8 different married women and 4 women in relationships. I do t feel any way at all towards their partners or family. You are being way too dramatic. When they were with me, they were escaping their partner for a few hours and none of them wanted out of their marriage. They just wanted sex. It's not that complicated.

Really? It wasn’t undying, everlasting love to them like Apps in other threads claim it to be . Just sex to you.

It really is quite a bit more complicated for women than for men. Accept that. I am sure they wanted escape, validation and excitement but I sincerely doubt “they just wanted sex.” Yes, there are outliers/damaged women and maybe you attracted them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've been with 8 different married women and 4 women in relationships. I do t feel any way at all towards their partners or family. You are being way too dramatic. When they were with me, they were escaping their partner for a few hours and none of them wanted out of their marriage. They just wanted sex. It's not that complicated.

Really? It wasn’t undying, everlasting love to them like Apps in other threads claim it to be . Just sex to you.

It really is quite a bit more complicated for women than for men. Accept that. I am sure they wanted escape, validation and excitement but I sincerely doubt “they just wanted sex.” Yes, there are outliers/damaged women and maybe you attracted them.

Maybe they wanted PP for his high net worth and exciting lifestyle. Oh. My bad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've been with 8 different married women and 4 women in relationships. I do t feel any way at all towards their partners or family. You are being way too dramatic. When they were with me, they were escaping their partner for a few hours and none of them wanted out of their marriage. They just wanted sex. It's not that complicated.

Really? It wasn’t undying, everlasting love to them like Apps in other threads claim it to be . Just sex to you.

It really is quite a bit more complicated for women than for men. Accept that. I am sure they wanted escape, validation and excitement but I sincerely doubt “they just wanted sex.” Yes, there are outliers/damaged women and maybe you attracted them.

Maybe they wanted PP for his high net worth and exciting lifestyle. Oh. My bad.

Exactly. Exit affairs. They want a social upgrade. If you live in the city or walkable/urban neighborhood—these suburban bored housewives will be all over you on the apps.