Husband refuses to help with night feedings
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Anonymous
JFC. It doesn’t have to be a literal sandwich. Just stop with the excuses. |
Anonymous
They can hire support. OP just refuses to do so, because martyrdom and excuses are easier. |
Anonymous
It’s not stupid. It’s 100% correct and no, I didn’t write it. |
Anonymous
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Anonymous
While nursing is the easiest, not everyone has it that easy. There are latch issues that force exclusively pumping, preemie babies who aren't strong enough to breastfeed, low supply issues where you have to supplement, etc. You had it easy, so you think they muse be " doing it wrong", but you fail to realize you're just lucky you didn't have any issues. |
Anonymous
Lots of those families had wet nurses. |
Anonymous
OP said they hired help. |
Anonymous
You do not need to worry about nap in cribs at this age. Keep him in the snoo for naps and get some sleep. I had both of my kids ( and know many others who did too) in the snoo for all sleep until 3-4 months. You can't spoil a newborn. Put him in the snoo for all sleep. |
Anonymous
This. I just knew I was going to breastfeed my kids. I’d watched my mom do it with my younger siblings, including a set of twins. None of us ever had a drop of formula. But it was so, so hard for me. My daughter ended up being hospitalized for too much weight loss because I just never made more than 6 Oz a day-and that was a good day, not typical. I never once had the feeling of a letdown, whatever that is! When I had my son, same thing. Just because something is easy for you doesn’t mean it is that way for everyone. I’d have loved to have saved money on formula and not had to wash bottles, let alone all the hours I spent pumping. Yes, humanity would continue on for millions of years if my daughter had died, which she likely would have had she been born in another era. What’s your point? |
Anonymous
| Dear OP, I hope this is your first and last baby because you seem to be completely overwhelmed and you’re only a few weeks in. Hiring help while you are a stay at home parent of one baby? Overcomplicating nursing and whining about waking up at night? You must be from a really privileged environment to think what you posted here is an actual problem. |
Anonymous
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Tell him that parents of newborns are sleep deprived.
It is a hard, but time-limited phase of your child's life. You did not get pregnant by yourself, so you don't plan to carry the burden by yourself. He can't just take the good parts of being a parent. Tell him to man up, it will be over soon. |
Anonymous
And you believed it? |
Anonymous
When I was on maternity leave and DH returned to work, I did ALL night feedings. WTH is wrong with you? That's the whole point of maternity leave - you don't have to work because you aren't sleeping doing night feedings. If you want to sleep, go back to work. |
Anonymous
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It's a long thread but people aren't reading carefully and then unleash on OP. There is room to criticize her but a lot of the vitriol is not commensurate with her faults.
OP have the age of her child several times (a few posters kept re-asking). Her story hasn't changed that much. She's not asking for her husband to take over all night feedings: she's asking for a 10 pm and a 6-7 am feed, which sounds like a reasonable ask, especially if you can shift baby's feeding schedule by 15 mins or so one way or another from those times. Maternity leave or not. The first 6 weeks are for her body to physically recover, which won't happen if she's not sleeping at least some time consecutively. "Go back to work" - she is, but saying she has no leg to stand on whatsoever because she's not back at work at 5 weeks "if she wants to sleep" is bullshit, especially since she won't get to sleep anyway because someone has to get up and feed a baby that young, working or not. Napping when baby naps is hard and not always possible and when possible does require self-discipline, which by the way also erodes with sleep deprivation. Her husband does a lot and that is commendable; perhaps there is something they can compromise on together in their values if she brings her issue to him, on the points of e.g. less work -intensive cooking or more formula. Husband can also make adjustments to hai workout routine until maternity leave is done. Sleep training before the maternity leave ends is insane. I've never heard anyone doing it before 4 months, most after 6. Anyway that doesn't solve OP's problem now. OP needs to learn some flexibility, which btw she will probably gain by child #2 as many uptight moms do (in all their initial commitment to cloth diapers, organic homemade baby food, etc.). She also needs to trust her gut and not just religiously follow what ped and hospital pamphlets say to do, which don't appear to have been written by actual parents ever (eg, "put your baby in a crib drowsy but awake," lol.) Because 5 peds will give 5 slightly different pieces of advice on some things. Like amtbe it's ok for her kid to sleep 4 hours in a row sometimes. She has shown some flexibility and is saying she will hire someone and try to be more flexible with her other activities. |
Anonymous
You sound like a condescending jerk. Many FTM parents find the newborn stage challenging with caring for a newborn, learning to breastfeed, lack of sleep. Not to mention recovering from giving birth. OP isn't a stay-at-home parent. She is on maternity leave. How is OP overcomplicating nursing? Sorry you had the privilege for it to go just as planned or made the decision to no breastfeed, but many mother sacrifice in order to breastfeed. There are women who struggle with low supply, latch issues, weight gain issues, etc. OP happens to have low supply and a baby struggling to gain weight. I think doctors and lactation specialists are more informed on the subject and her needs than you. You must be really privileged for you to act so smug. You clearly are ignorant on breastfeeding and such topics but think you know it all. Oh, and many families hire night nurses for babies. Sleep deprivation is hard on the body and used as a form of torture for enemies. |