17 Year Old Custody Schedule

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Does Dad show up for anything?

OP here: yes, he goes to a few football games each season, but not all.

He sporadically goes to band concerts, but usually can’t or won’t make it during the work week.

We haven’t really had parent teacher conferences since elementary school, so it’s been a long time since he’s been to those.

I can’t think of anything else. He complains a lot about the driving (which is annoying because he’s the one who moved…). He would never, ever drive DS to a friend’s house or anything like that on “his” weekend.

My ex does seem to want to spend time with DS, but only at his house and on his terms. He would never drive down here just for a midweek dinner with DS or something like that.

You ex doesn’t want a relationship with DS where he has to put in the work. But you already know that.

OP here: sure, those thoughts have crossed my mind.

But it doesn’t matter if I think my ex is not always a stellar father, or that I think he could do things better/differently. He’s still my DS’s dad, and there’s still a court order that has to be followed until spring.

If my ex seeks an emergency hearing over this, I really don’t know what I’m going to do. I’ll have to represent myself pro se, I guess. The thought of it makes me sick.

As others have said, this is between dad and his son. Let dad deal with this. He can’t make him get in the car anymore than you can. I’d take my chances and let ex file the emergency hearing. I’d deal with it once the court date was set.

No, its between the two parents. Dad already compromised and reduced the schedule. If child doesn't follow the rules there needs to be consequences. If kid doesn't want to go to school, you just say ok? Doesn't want to shower or do homework, that's ok?

He did not compromise. He refused to take his son to practice on Saturday. On his day he is responsible for taking DS to school and other social activities if the kid doesn’t have a car.

Dad get less than 48 hours with the child at a time twice a month. The kid should not be going to a party on dads time. Sports practice, yes. Party or friends no.

Who is dictating that dad gets less than 48 hours with the child twice a month? OP has not said that that is the only time dad is allowed to spend with the child. It seems that dad is welcome to spend more time with the child if he wants. He could pick him up after practice and go to dinner; pick him up after work and talk about his day; offer to host son and his friends; or do any of the other activities that mom does.

How do you think mom is currently engaging with her son? She is working around his schedule and his activities. Why should dad be any different?

If the kid is refusing to fit dad into his social schedule, you think he'd agree to different? Mom needs to be a parent and enforce the visit just like she does school and other things. Its two nights a month.

Why not call up the kid and ask?

agree. Mom is asking son what the issue is and how it can be resolved. She is acting like a parent to a 17yr old. I don’t know how you enforce 17 yr old to do something they don’t want to. Please provide specific techniques that will get a 17yr old to comply. Hint—it’s not taking away their electronics or picking them up and buckling them in the car. You can tell them they have to go, you can bribe them to go, you can make home life miserable is they don’t go but there really isn’t anything that I know of that can force a 17yr old to do something they don’t want to. Happy to have you provide specific ways to guarantee compliance and prove me wrong.

Why isn’t dad asking his son what the issue is and how it can be resolved? Why isn’t dad acting like a parent of a 17yr old.

Because "Dad," and I use the term loosely, is a piece of sh$@ control freak who clearly doesn't want to do any actual parenting and is hanging on to this last tiny bit of tormenting control with his ex. Seen this movie too many times. Hell, I've been in this movie. I'm sorry OP. It's awful. Do what you're doing to hold your breath until your son turns 18, and keep working on them to work it out themselves. And really, you can be honest with your kid about the dynamic without poisoning the well. I know you already know that.

Amazing how you don't know anything about dad except he will not cave in to the kid's temper tantrum and you are calling him all kinds of names and every thing else. There are two sides to the story and we don't know how much dad was willing or not willing just what mom is saying and she may not have allowed/wanted his involvement. Its two nights a month. Any mom who would say a child partying is more important than seeing their other parent has some serious issues.

He is acting like a parent. He is setting firm boundaries and Mom is sabotaging them.

OP here: this is BS.

I have explained to my son over and over the importance of seeing his dad - both because I actually (genuinely!) do want them to have a relationship, but also because of what the court order requires. I do not think parties are more important than his father.

DS’s response is that if his dad lived closer, he could still see friends/participate in school-related stuff on weekends AND be able to see his dad easily. He says over and over again “I don’t want to be 80 miles from my entire life two weekends a month anymore.” He very much feels like it’s his dad’s fault for choosing to move far away from his life. This wasn’t an issue when he was younger, but it started to become an issue in high school. Now that he is a senior, he says he is “just done.” I’ve told him he can’t be “just done” until he is 18, but DS won’t listen.

Also, I never would have stopped or prevented my ex from seeing my son whenever he wanted to during the week, or even on my weekends, if he’d wanted to drive down here for lunch or dinner or whatever. I have never prevented my ex from seeing my son.

I think the father holds resentment, is being lazy and/or playing this particular circumstance to his advantage for the sake of revenge.

If doubting the veracity of the son's feelings, he could have agreed to flip the pick-up/drop-off arrangement and tried to pick up the son and mom could have brought him home. Since he didn't want this, it's clear that he knew what the outcome would be and is just bitter and playing games now.

Wonder what dad says about all this? We don’t know his side.

What is there to say? Most sane people would start introspection if their teenager wanted nothing to do with them.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Any update, OP? I've been thinking about you. Sorry you're in such a tough situation.

This is OP back.

I haven’t wanted to post on here with any specifics because I am afraid of my ex reading this, and things got uglier. But things have been absolute hell and when my DS turns 18 in a couple months, I genuinely fear he will never speak to my ex again. I did not alienate my ex - he alienated himself from our son.

It sounds like you did help alienate him. Hope you aren't going to demand Dad pay for college now.

Troll, read the thread, it was addressed.

+1. OP, ignore the troll. Sorry things have been so ugly. I see this happening with my 17yo nephew, although the facts are a little different (no football, closer than 80 miles, etc.) and he just turned 17 so still has a year to go. At least you only have a couple months to go, and if there is no relationship between DS and your ex after that, then so be it. Hang in there.

You are the troll if you cannot see why the relationship between a father and the child are important. No wonder teens are so screwed up with people like you advising them.

Clearly the father doesn't see it this way, If he did he wouldn't have moved so far away and he would be willing to work with his son for a more convenient visitation schedule.

He moved for better housing. Not inreadonable. Maybe mom moved too.

Bigger house is more important than spending time with kid, got it

[Anonymous]

It is important to talk to your son about his feelings and understand why he does not want to see his father. Depending on the age of your son when you divorced, there may be a lot of hurt and anger that needs addressing. You can help him work through these emotions in therapy with a mental health professional or by talking things out together as a family. It is also important for you to remain neutral during conversations about his father so that he feels comfortable expressing himself without fear of judgement. You can also suggest other ways of maintaining a relationship with his father, such as phone calls or video chats. If your son is still resistant to seeing his father, it may be best to respect his wishes and focus on finding positive ways for him to cope with any negative feelings he has about the situation.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Any update, OP? I've been thinking about you. Sorry you're in such a tough situation.

This is OP back.

I haven’t wanted to post on here with any specifics because I am afraid of my ex reading this, and things got uglier. But things have been absolute hell and when my DS turns 18 in a couple months, I genuinely fear he will never speak to my ex again. I did not alienate my ex - he alienated himself from our son.

It sounds like you did help alienate him. Hope you aren't going to demand Dad pay for college now.

Troll, read the thread, it was addressed.

+1. OP, ignore the troll. Sorry things have been so ugly. I see this happening with my 17yo nephew, although the facts are a little different (no football, closer than 80 miles, etc.) and he just turned 17 so still has a year to go. At least you only have a couple months to go, and if there is no relationship between DS and your ex after that, then so be it. Hang in there.

You are the troll if you cannot see why the relationship between a father and the child are important. No wonder teens are so screwed up with people like you advising them.

Clearly the father doesn't see it this way, If he did he wouldn't have moved so far away and he would be willing to work with his son for a more convenient visitation schedule.

He moved for better housing. Not inreadonable. Maybe mom moved too.

Bigger house is more important than spending time with kid, got it

Kid is with dad four days a month. So, it makes sense to move further out. Kid needs a bedroom.

You don’t need to move “further out” an HOUR AWAY to get a second bedroom. Just get a condo.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Any update, OP? I've been thinking about you. Sorry you're in such a tough situation.

This is OP back.

I haven’t wanted to post on here with any specifics because I am afraid of my ex reading this, and things got uglier. But things have been absolute hell and when my DS turns 18 in a couple months, I genuinely fear he will never speak to my ex again. I did not alienate my ex - he alienated himself from our son.

It sounds like you did help alienate him. Hope you aren't going to demand Dad pay for college now.

Troll, read the thread, it was addressed.

+1. OP, ignore the troll. Sorry things have been so ugly. I see this happening with my 17yo nephew, although the facts are a little different (no football, closer than 80 miles, etc.) and he just turned 17 so still has a year to go. At least you only have a couple months to go, and if there is no relationship between DS and your ex after that, then so be it. Hang in there.

You are the troll if you cannot see why the relationship between a father and the child are important. No wonder teens are so screwed up with people like you advising them.

Clearly the father doesn't see it this way, If he did he wouldn't have moved so far away and he would be willing to work with his son for a more convenient visitation schedule.

He moved for better housing. Not inreadonable. Maybe mom moved too.

Bigger house is more important than spending time with kid, got it

Kid is with dad four days a month. So, it makes sense to move further out. Kid needs a bedroom.

You don’t need to move “further out” an HOUR AWAY to get a second bedroom. Just get a condo.

Condos have lots of fees. Staying close would make sense with shared custody but this is just four days a month. Mom could have moved closer.

Yup, this dad cares more about avoiding condo fees than he does about his son, even in the weird fan fiction you’re writing about him.

You are writing fan fiction. Condo fees can be more than a mortgage. Makes zero sense. He sees the kid four days a month but even if he was close mom would still refuse visits so distance is not a factor.

Condo fees are zero if you buy a town home. Or rent. Even in your made up story (which the OP has told you, over and over, is wrong) the dad comes out looking like the kind of parent that any teen would despise.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Any update, OP? I've been thinking about you. Sorry you're in such a tough situation.

This is OP back.

I haven’t wanted to post on here with any specifics because I am afraid of my ex reading this, and things got uglier. But things have been absolute hell and when my DS turns 18 in a couple months, I genuinely fear he will never speak to my ex again. I did not alienate my ex - he alienated himself from our son.

It sounds like you did help alienate him. Hope you aren't going to demand Dad pay for college now.

Troll, read the thread, it was addressed.

+1. OP, ignore the troll. Sorry things have been so ugly. I see this happening with my 17yo nephew, although the facts are a little different (no football, closer than 80 miles, etc.) and he just turned 17 so still has a year to go. At least you only have a couple months to go, and if there is no relationship between DS and your ex after that, then so be it. Hang in there.

You are the troll if you cannot see why the relationship between a father and the child are important. No wonder teens are so screwed up with people like you advising them.

NP. Relationships with fathers are very important when the father has something to offer. This father sounds like a two year old. Kid is better off without him.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:OP when does he turn up 18 specifically? Before the end of the school year?

OP here: he turns 18 about one month before the end of the school year.

I’d find someway to drag this out for the next 8 weeks. Then it will be over.

OP here: Here’s the thing - I have done everything in my power for the last 5 months to make this work and to comply with the order, including by fighting with and borderline bribing my kid. Despite that, my ex has involved the courts, the police, and other relatives, at great expense/harassment to me, and at emotional duress to my son. I wouldn’t wish the last 5 months on my worst enemy. Even if I legally “prevailed” (because no alienation was found and I wasn’t found in contempt), it has been hell.

I’m not really sure why I came back, except to vent.

Anyone who would inflict that on a kid, to color his whole senior year, is a horrible human being. Full stop.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:OP when does he turn up 18 specifically? Before the end of the school year?

OP here: he turns 18 about one month before the end of the school year.

I’d find someway to drag this out for the next 8 weeks. Then it will be over.

OP here: Here’s the thing - I have done everything in my power for the last 5 months to make this work and to comply with the order, including by fighting with and borderline bribing my kid. Despite that, my ex has involved the courts, the police, and other relatives, at great expense/harassment to me, and at emotional duress to my son. I wouldn’t wish the last 5 months on my worst enemy. Even if I legally “prevailed” (because no alienation was found and I wasn’t found in contempt), it has been hell.

I’m not really sure why I came back, except to vent.

He has to abuse power 1 more time.

I genuinely feel sorry for your son, and also for you, OP.

People who think divorce is some magic solution to dealing with the disordered have NO idea.

This should have been a happy and exciting time in your son's life. Dad sounds jealous and bitter.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Any update, OP? I've been thinking about you. Sorry you're in such a tough situation.

This is OP back.

I haven’t wanted to post on here with any specifics because I am afraid of my ex reading this, and things got uglier. But things have been absolute hell and when my DS turns 18 in a couple months, I genuinely fear he will never speak to my ex again. I did not alienate my ex - he alienated himself from our son.

It sounds like you did help alienate him. Hope you aren't going to demand Dad pay for college now.

Troll, read the thread, it was addressed.

+1. OP, ignore the troll. Sorry things have been so ugly. I see this happening with my 17yo nephew, although the facts are a little different (no football, closer than 80 miles, etc.) and he just turned 17 so still has a year to go. At least you only have a couple months to go, and if there is no relationship between DS and your ex after that, then so be it. Hang in there.

You are the troll if you cannot see why the relationship between a father and the child are important. No wonder teens are so screwed up with people like you advising them.

Clearly the father doesn't see it this way, If he did he wouldn't have moved so far away and he would be willing to work with his son for a more convenient visitation schedule.

He moved for better housing. Not inreadonable. Maybe mom moved too.

Bigger house is more important than spending time with kid, got it

Kid is with dad four days a month. So, it makes sense to move further out. Kid needs a bedroom.

You don’t need to move “further out” an HOUR AWAY to get a second bedroom. Just get a condo.

Condos have lots of fees. Staying close would make sense with shared custody but this is just four days a month. Mom could have moved closer.

Yup, this dad cares more about avoiding condo fees than he does about his son, even in the weird fan fiction you’re writing about him.

You are writing fan fiction. Condo fees can be more than a mortgage. Makes zero sense. He sees the kid four days a month but even if he was close mom would still refuse visits so distance is not a factor.

Condo fees are zero if you buy a town home. Or rent. Even in your made up story (which the OP has told you, over and over, is wrong) the dad comes out looking like the kind of parent that any teen would despise.

It clearly made sense for dad to move. Even if he stayed close the friends, activities and job would have been the same excuse. Dad has kid four days a month. Why stay in a crappy rental or condo when fast forward there is no contact let alone visits.

Respect is earned, not given.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Any update, OP? I've been thinking about you. Sorry you're in such a tough situation.

This is OP back.

I haven’t wanted to post on here with any specifics because I am afraid of my ex reading this, and things got uglier. But things have been absolute hell and when my DS turns 18 in a couple months, I genuinely fear he will never speak to my ex again. I did not alienate my ex - he alienated himself from our son.

It sounds like you did help alienate him. Hope you aren't going to demand Dad pay for college now.

Troll, read the thread, it was addressed.

+1. OP, ignore the troll. Sorry things have been so ugly. I see this happening with my 17yo nephew, although the facts are a little different (no football, closer than 80 miles, etc.) and he just turned 17 so still has a year to go. At least you only have a couple months to go, and if there is no relationship between DS and your ex after that, then so be it. Hang in there.

You are the troll if you cannot see why the relationship between a father and the child are important. No wonder teens are so screwed up with people like you advising them.

Clearly the father doesn't see it this way, If he did he wouldn't have moved so far away and he would be willing to work with his son for a more convenient visitation schedule.

He moved for better housing. Not inreadonable. Maybe mom moved too.

Bigger house is more important than spending time with kid, got it

Kid is with dad four days a month. So, it makes sense to move further out. Kid needs a bedroom.

You don’t need to move “further out” an HOUR AWAY to get a second bedroom. Just get a condo.

Condos have lots of fees. Staying close would make sense with shared custody but this is just four days a month. Mom could have moved closer.

Yup, this dad cares more about avoiding condo fees than he does about his son, even in the weird fan fiction you’re writing about him.

You are writing fan fiction. Condo fees can be more than a mortgage. Makes zero sense. He sees the kid four days a month but even if he was close mom would still refuse visits so distance is not a factor.

Condo fees are zero if you buy a town home. Or rent. Even in your made up story (which the OP has told you, over and over, is wrong) the dad comes out looking like the kind of parent that any teen would despise.

It clearly made sense for dad to move. Even if he stayed close the friends, activities and job would have been the same excuse. Dad has kid four days a month. Why stay in a crappy rental or condo when fast forward there is no contact let alone visits.

It makes sense as long as you agree that his child was not the priority. Your argument seems to be that the kid should still make the dad a priority despite being treated as less important than avoiding condo fees.

Your argument makes no sense. You are saying Dad should move to a condo vs. buy a house. Why? Dad has the child at best 2 a month for two days. Children do't dictate where kids live. And, kid hasn't had visits in how long so Dad should live in a crappy overpriced condo to make mom happy? Why? Nothing he will do will make Mom happy or get her to support visits. Even if he was closer there would be plenty of excuses of why child couldn't visit. Parental alienation at its finest.

You have the chicken and the egg mixed up. The kid only visits twice a month BECAUSE the dad lives so far away - not the other way around. If Dad had chosen to live closer, the schedule would have been different (and likely not as painful for the poor kid). Read the f-ing thread.

[Anonymous]

For all the people commenting who haven’t read the thread.

The 17 year old doesn’t want to visit because:

DS's reason is that he's busy with fall sports (football), school, friends, etc. He doesn't want to be at his dad's two weekends a month anymore. It has nothing to do with liking me or not liking his dad, and everything to do with where his school, friends, and life all are.

The dad is selfish for insisting the the kid give up half his weekends. Sorry OP. My sister is starting to go through this 16 year old. Any advice?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:OP when does he turn up 18 specifically? Before the end of the school year?

OP here: he turns 18 about one month before the end of the school year.

I’d find someway to drag this out for the next 8 weeks. Then it will be over.

OP here: Here’s the thing - I have done everything in my power for the last 5 months to make this work and to comply with the order, including by fighting with and borderline bribing my kid. Despite that, my ex has involved the courts, the police, and other relatives, at great expense/harassment to me, and at emotional duress to my son. I wouldn’t wish the last 5 months on my worst enemy. Even if I legally “prevailed” (because no alienation was found and I wasn’t found in contempt), it has been hell.

I’m not really sure why I came back, except to vent.

Anyone who would inflict that on a kid, to color his whole senior year, is a horrible human being. Full stop.

A Dad trying to have a relationship with his child is not inflicting anything. You'd say he was horrible if he choose not to see his son. This man cannot win no matter what he does. It twice a month. Child is a spoiled brat for refusing to see his Dad.

What his dad should be doing is showing up at the kids football games like any normal father would. From there they could get something to eat or otherwise do something together and then he could advocate for himself to try and see if the son wanted to visit. This doesn't need to involve mom.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Does Dad show up for anything?

OP here: yes, he goes to a few football games each season, but not all.

He sporadically goes to band concerts, but usually can’t or won’t make it during the work week.

We haven’t really had parent teacher conferences since elementary school, so it’s been a long time since he’s been to those.

I can’t think of anything else. He complains a lot about the driving (which is annoying because he’s the one who moved…). He would never, ever drive DS to a friend’s house or anything like that on “his” weekend.

My ex does seem to want to spend time with DS, but only at his house and on his terms. He would never drive down here just for a midweek dinner with DS or something like that.

You ex doesn’t want a relationship with DS where he has to put in the work. But you already know that.

OP here: sure, those thoughts have crossed my mind.

But it doesn’t matter if I think my ex is not always a stellar father, or that I think he could do things better/differently. He’s still my DS’s dad, and there’s still a court order that has to be followed until spring.

If my ex seeks an emergency hearing over this, I really don’t know what I’m going to do. I’ll have to represent myself pro se, I guess. The thought of it makes me sick.

As others have said, this is between dad and his son. Let dad deal with this. He can’t make him get in the car anymore than you can. I’d take my chances and let ex file the emergency hearing. I’d deal with it once the court date was set.

No, its between the two parents. Dad already compromised and reduced the schedule. If child doesn't follow the rules there needs to be consequences. If kid doesn't want to go to school, you just say ok? Doesn't want to shower or do homework, that's ok?

He did not compromise. He refused to take his son to practice on Saturday. On his day he is responsible for taking DS to school and other social activities if the kid doesn’t have a car.

Dad get less than 48 hours with the child at a time twice a month. The kid should not be going to a party on dads time. Sports practice, yes. Party or friends no.

Who is dictating that dad gets less than 48 hours with the child twice a month? OP has not said that that is the only time dad is allowed to spend with the child. It seems that dad is welcome to spend more time with the child if he wants. He could pick him up after practice and go to dinner; pick him up after work and talk about his day; offer to host son and his friends; or do any of the other activities that mom does.

How do you think mom is currently engaging with her son? She is working around his schedule and his activities. Why should dad be any different?

If the kid is refusing to fit dad into his social schedule, you think he'd agree to different? Mom needs to be a parent and enforce the visit just like she does school and other things. Its two nights a month.

Why not call up the kid and ask?

agree. Mom is asking son what the issue is and how it can be resolved. She is acting like a parent to a 17yr old. I don’t know how you enforce 17 yr old to do something they don’t want to. Please provide specific techniques that will get a 17yr old to comply. Hint—it’s not taking away their electronics or picking them up and buckling them in the car. You can tell them they have to go, you can bribe them to go, you can make home life miserable is they don’t go but there really isn’t anything that I know of that can force a 17yr old to do something they don’t want to. Happy to have you provide specific ways to guarantee compliance and prove me wrong.

Why isn’t dad asking his son what the issue is and how it can be resolved? Why isn’t dad acting like a parent of a 17yr old.

Because "Dad," and I use the term loosely, is a piece of sh$@ control freak who clearly doesn't want to do any actual parenting and is hanging on to this last tiny bit of tormenting control with his ex. Seen this movie too many times. Hell, I've been in this movie. I'm sorry OP. It's awful. Do what you're doing to hold your breath until your son turns 18, and keep working on them to work it out themselves. And really, you can be honest with your kid about the dynamic without poisoning the well. I know you already know that.

Amazing how you don't know anything about dad except he will not cave in to the kid's temper tantrum and you are calling him all kinds of names and every thing else. There are two sides to the story and we don't know how much dad was willing or not willing just what mom is saying and she may not have allowed/wanted his involvement. Its two nights a month. Any mom who would say a child partying is more important than seeing their other parent has some serious issues.

He is acting like a parent. He is setting firm boundaries and Mom is sabotaging them.

OP here: this is BS.

I have explained to my son over and over the importance of seeing his dad - both because I actually (genuinely!) do want them to have a relationship, but also because of what the court order requires. I do not think parties are more important than his father.

DS’s response is that if his dad lived closer, he could still see friends/participate in school-related stuff on weekends AND be able to see his dad easily. He says over and over again “I don’t want to be 80 miles from my entire life two weekends a month anymore.” He very much feels like it’s his dad’s fault for choosing to move far away from his life. This wasn’t an issue when he was younger, but it started to become an issue in high school. Now that he is a senior, he says he is “just done.” I’ve told him he can’t be “just done” until he is 18, but DS won’t listen.

Also, I never would have stopped or prevented my ex from seeing my son whenever he wanted to during the week, or even on my weekends, if he’d wanted to drive down here for lunch or dinner or whatever. I have never prevented my ex from seeing my son.

I think the father holds resentment, is being lazy and/or playing this particular circumstance to his advantage for the sake of revenge.

If doubting the veracity of the son's feelings, he could have agreed to flip the pick-up/drop-off arrangement and tried to pick up the son and mom could have brought him home. Since he didn't want this, it's clear that he knew what the outcome would be and is just bitter and playing games now.

Wonder what dad says about all this? We don’t know his side.

Yeah, that would be ideal but what could he possibly say? How would he respond to the question as to why he doesn't come pick his son up? I'm sure there's some context and information missing but I'm not sure that it's really enough to make much of a difference here, I don't think he's being realistic/reasonable.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP when does he turn up 18 specifically? Before the end of the school year?

OP here: he turns 18 about one month before the end of the school year.

I’d find someway to drag this out for the next 8 weeks. Then it will be over.

OP here: Here’s the thing - I have done everything in my power for the last 5 months to make this work and to comply with the order, including by fighting with and borderline bribing my kid. Despite that, my ex has involved the courts, the police, and other relatives, at great expense/harassment to me, and at emotional duress to my son. I wouldn’t wish the last 5 months on my worst enemy. Even if I legally “prevailed” (because no alienation was found and I wasn’t found in contempt), it has been hell.

I’m not really sure why I came back, except to vent.

Anyone who would inflict that on a kid, to color his whole senior year, is a horrible human being. Full stop.

A Dad trying to have a relationship with his child is not inflicting anything. You'd say he was horrible if he choose not to see his son. This man cannot win no matter what he does. It twice a month. Child is a spoiled brat for refusing to see his Dad.

If, God Forbid, I was only able to see my child four days per month, I would move heaven and earth to make those days happen. I would live in a crappy apartment, or eat ramen noodles to afford a house in his neighborhood. I would be at every school event and sports game. Because my child is my priority. It would be on me as a parent to make sacrifices (because that is how parenting works) not on my child to sacrifice their senior year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP when does he turn up 18 specifically? Before the end of the school year?

OP here: he turns 18 about one month before the end of the school year.

I’d find someway to drag this out for the next 8 weeks. Then it will be over.

OP here: Here’s the thing - I have done everything in my power for the last 5 months to make this work and to comply with the order, including by fighting with and borderline bribing my kid. Despite that, my ex has involved the courts, the police, and other relatives, at great expense/harassment to me, and at emotional duress to my son. I wouldn’t wish the last 5 months on my worst enemy. Even if I legally “prevailed” (because no alienation was found and I wasn’t found in contempt), it has been hell.

I’m not really sure why I came back, except to vent.

Anyone who would inflict that on a kid, to color his whole senior year, is a horrible human being. Full stop.

A Dad trying to have a relationship with his child is not inflicting anything. You'd say he was horrible if he choose not to see his son. This man cannot win no matter what he does. It twice a month. Child is a spoiled brat for refusing to see his Dad.

What his dad should be doing is showing up at the kids football games like any normal father would. From there they could get something to eat or otherwise do something together and then he could advocate for himself to try and see if the son wanted to visit. This doesn't need to involve mom.

He should not show up uninvited and it’s not football season now.