17 Year Old Custody Schedule

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's not a big deal for child to spend two nights a month with their parent.

Sleeping two nights at Dad's house (you mean four right? Two weekends a month = 4 night) isn't the logistical issue. If Dad hadn't moved away when the kid was a toddler to a new city and lived in the same town, sleeping 4 nights a month there would be zero problem for most teens. Having dinner there on school nights wouldn't even be a problem. The logistical issue isn't where they sleep, it's the distance away from everything they want to be doing those weekend days. Kids want to go to a party, or hang out with friends, on Saturday nights... how can the kid do that, when his dad lives 1.5 hours a way? You think Dad is willing to pick up his kid at midnight on a Saturday and drive him home? "Sorry, I can't come to your graduation party Saturday, that's my dad's weekend for custody and I have to go stay at his house the whole weekend - he won't let me stay in town."

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote: If kid is scheduled to have something every day and when he doesn't see friends, no matter how much Dad is flexible, it will never be good enough for them.

Now you are finally understanding what it means to be a parent. You are happy that the 17 year old is so busy doing social, academic, work and athletic activities that he barely has time to see his parents, because he is living his good life, he is happy and engaged and busy with the life of a teen. A parent should be HAPPY for that.

A NCP can only be as much of a parent as the custodial parent allows them to be.

I would not be happy if my child is so busy they don't want to spend time with me. Maybe that speaks volumes to you but my teen still loves to spend time with me. And, they are heavily into sports, music, and much more.

Just to clarify - you think it's desirable for a 17 year old to spend Saturday morning, afternoon and evening and Sunday morning, afternoon, and evening home with you (or out doing things only with you), the first and the third weekend of every month, all day and all evening long, just with you?

Mine would... but then again we enjoy spending time together. I'm sorry that you don't have that kind of relationship where you want to spend that time with you. When mine even go away to camp, they insist we visit.

So sad that you don't understand this isn't a good thing....

A strong relationship with both of your parents is a good thing. It’s sad you don’t get that.

Building a strong relationship with dad requires effort on dad's part. Attend your kid's games or whatever. Let him bring a friend for a weekend. Go pick him up.

Or you could blame it all on Mom and take no responsibility.

Exactly! A strong relationship with Dad isn't built by insisting on your "time" with them. You don't measure a relationship that way, and then blame Mom for teaching the kid bad lessons when it turns out the kid doesn't want anything to do with you. Own up to your own part in the bad relationship.