What happens to the "dud" husbands after divorce?

[Anonymous]

My former step father's story:
1. Got married.
2. Got divorced.
3. He shacked up with my mom when I was in ES.
3. Got married to my mom when I was in HS.
4. Got divorced from my mom when I was in college and they split assets.
5. He used the money to buy a house in another state.
6. He married a third woman.
7. He divorced the third woman.
8. That divorce was expensive and he declared bankruptcy.
9. Now he's in his late 60's living in an apartment by himself.

True abridged story of a man that often treated me badly in my childhood.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My former step father's story:
1. Got married.
2. Got divorced.
3. He shacked up with my mom when I was in ES.
3. Got married to my mom when I was in HS.
4. Got divorced from my mom when I was in college and they split assets.
5. He used the money to buy a house in another state.
6. He married a third woman.
7. He divorced the third woman.
8. That divorce was expensive and he declared bankruptcy.
9. Now he's in his late 60's living in an apartment by himself.

True abridged story of a man that often treated me badly in my childhood.

Well, he shouldn’t have used his premarital assets to buy a joint asset with second spouse. He should have placed it in a trust for his kids. This is an example of a financial stupidity, not an argument against second marriages. If he didn’t sell the house and just kept under his name it wouldn’t be divided in divorce.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:59 yo financially secure male here. Since my divorce several years ago, I have dated several similarly set (financially) women my age who are actively seeking marriage. In large part, it is for companionship rather than financial security. All were in longer marriages and are seeking a second chance at a solid marriage. All professional women in the DMV.

Exactly - I only date for marriage. I am early 40s female after a long marriage. I have more than most men have at 60 (NW 4.5mm). My premarital assets are protected in trusts with zero risk loosing what I already earned in divorce. I don’t have issues having joint accounts, living under one roof, filing joint tax returns and choosing the best health insurance that one of the spouses has. Also I work (20 years to retirement) and actively look not just for a husband but for a friend and a transparent partner with common financial and investment goals, to develop a joint vision for retirement. Two can have better, happier and more prosperous life in marriage than being single partners who live separately.

Or you can just live together and not get married.

I have zero interest in marriage.

What specifically re marriage that concerns you ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Exactly - I only date for marriage. I am early 40s female after a long marriage. I have more than most men have at 60 (NW 4.5mm). My premarital assets are protected in trusts with zero risk loosing what I already earned in divorce. I don’t have issues having joint accounts, living under one roof, filing joint tax returns and choosing the best health insurance that one of the spouses has. Also I work (20 years to retirement) and actively look not just for a husband but for a friend and a transparent partner with common financial and investment goals, to develop a joint vision for retirement. Two can have better, happier and more prosperous life in marriage than being single partners who live separately.

How is the dating going? Just curious because I'm in a similar position but not dating. Have you met any men that are even worth considering as a marriage partner (for me that would mean similar income, similar assets, attractive, fit, professional, doesn't have too much baggage from previous marriage(s), etc.)?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Exactly - I only date for marriage. I am early 40s female after a long marriage. I have more than most men have at 60 (NW 4.5mm). My premarital assets are protected in trusts with zero risk loosing what I already earned in divorce. I don’t have issues having joint accounts, living under one roof, filing joint tax returns and choosing the best health insurance that one of the spouses has. Also I work (20 years to retirement) and actively look not just for a husband but for a friend and a transparent partner with common financial and investment goals, to develop a joint vision for retirement. Two can have better, happier and more prosperous life in marriage than being single partners who live separately.

How is the dating going? Just curious because I'm in a similar position but not dating. Have you met any men that are even worth considering as a marriage partner (for me that would mean similar income, similar assets, attractive, fit, professional, doesn't have too much baggage from previous marriage(s), etc.)?

I got 2 realistic choices within 6 months on eharmony. One is a data scientist he’s nice. We only date for couple months. I intentionally avoided being contacted by too many commitment phobic men and didn’t have time for coffees with everyone. So 2 real leads is what I was looking for

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My former step father's story:
1. Got married.
2. Got divorced.
3. He shacked up with my mom when I was in ES.
3. Got married to my mom when I was in HS.
4. Got divorced from my mom when I was in college and they split assets.
5. He used the money to buy a house in another state.
6. He married a third woman.
7. He divorced the third woman.
8. That divorce was expensive and he declared bankruptcy.
9. Now he's in his late 60's living in an apartment by himself.

True abridged story of a man that often treated me badly in my childhood.

Well, he shouldn’t have used his premarital assets to buy a joint asset with second spouse. He should have placed it in a trust for his kids. This is an example of a financial stupidity, not an argument against second marriages. If he didn’t sell the house and just kept under his name it wouldn’t be divided in divorce.

Well, technically he messed up in the third marriage. He never had any children of his own which is better for nevermore because he wasn't at all good with kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My former step father's story:
1. Got married.
2. Got divorced.
3. He shacked up with my mom when I was in ES.
3. Got married to my mom when I was in HS.
4. Got divorced from my mom when I was in college and they split assets.
5. He used the money to buy a house in another state.
6. He married a third woman.
7. He divorced the third woman.
8. That divorce was expensive and he declared bankruptcy.
9. Now he's in his late 60's living in an apartment by himself.

True abridged story of a man that often treated me badly in my childhood.

Well, he shouldn’t have used his premarital assets to buy a joint asset with second spouse. He should have placed it in a trust for his kids. This is an example of a financial stupidity, not an argument against second marriages. If he didn’t sell the house and just kept under his name it wouldn’t be divided in divorce.

Well, technically he messed up in the third marriage. He never had any children of his own which is better for nevermore because he wasn't at all good with kids.

Well, then at least women got his assets not a cat&dogs shelter . Women will use it for their kids and grand kids which is beneficial for society

[Anonymous]

The Dud husbands who never liked going to the beach while they were married are now on dating apps looking for someone special to share sunset walks on the beach with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She only _thought_ I was a dud. I was a winner all along, and she was and continues to be a loser.

My income is up 40 percent, and I've slept with a couple of dozen women who are 10-30 years younger than me since the divorce.

I've made two major mistakes in life: getting married, and having children.

She was right and you just admitted it. Anyone who regrets their children IS a dud as a father and parenting partner. I doubt your ex is impressed by your sex life now, but I hope she’s keeping an eye on your bank account and taking what her kids are owed.

you left your kids to go sleep with girls 30yrs younger than you? That's winning? sick

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She only _thought_ I was a dud. I was a winner all along, and she was and continues to be a loser.

My income is up 40 percent, and I've slept with a couple of dozen women who are 10-30 years younger than me since the divorce.

I've made two major mistakes in life: getting married, and having children.

She was right and you just admitted it. Anyone who regrets their children IS a dud as a father and parenting partner. I doubt your ex is impressed by your sex life now, but I hope she’s keeping an eye on your bank account and taking what her kids are owed.

you left your kids to go sleep with girls 30yrs younger than you? That's winning? sick

DP but lol, that's absolutely winning from a male perspective. Making a lot of money, which you parlay into having sex with dozens of young women - that is the dream.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She only _thought_ I was a dud. I was a winner all along, and she was and continues to be a loser.

My income is up 40 percent, and I've slept with a couple of dozen women who are 10-30 years younger than me since the divorce.

I've made two major mistakes in life: getting married, and having children.

She was right and you just admitted it. Anyone who regrets their children IS a dud as a father and parenting partner. I doubt your ex is impressed by your sex life now, but I hope she’s keeping an eye on your bank account and taking what her kids are owed.

you left your kids to go sleep with girls 30yrs younger than you? That's winning? sick

DP but lol, that's absolutely winning from a male perspective. Making a lot of money, which you parlay into having sex with dozens of young women - that is the dream.

When you decide to get divorced the dream is to get away from the woman who treats you with contempt and indifference. Everything after that is absolute bliss!

[Anonymous]

Oh, plus millions for post above.
Not this thread but to the women who bring bitterness and anger to the 1st couple of getting to know you dates with new guy.
I'm not them or your therapist!
(politely) "check please".
Signed, ghost.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She only _thought_ I was a dud. I was a winner all along, and she was and continues to be a loser.

My income is up 40 percent, and I've slept with a couple of dozen women who are 10-30 years younger than me since the divorce.

I've made two major mistakes in life: getting married, and having children.

She was right and you just admitted it. Anyone who regrets their children IS a dud as a father and parenting partner. I doubt your ex is impressed by your sex life now, but I hope she’s keeping an eye on your bank account and taking what her kids are owed.

you left your kids to go sleep with girls 30yrs younger than you? That's winning? sick

DP but lol, that's absolutely winning from a male perspective. Making a lot of money, which you parlay into having sex with dozens of young women - that is the dream.

When you decide to get divorced the dream is to get away from the woman who treats you with contempt and indifference. Everything after that is absolute bliss!

Probably not for your children and future children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She only _thought_ I was a dud. I was a winner all along, and she was and continues to be a loser.

My income is up 40 percent, and I've slept with a couple of dozen women who are 10-30 years younger than me since the divorce.

I've made two major mistakes in life: getting married, and having children.

She was right and you just admitted it. Anyone who regrets their children IS a dud as a father and parenting partner. I doubt your ex is impressed by your sex life now, but I hope she’s keeping an eye on your bank account and taking what her kids are owed.

you left your kids to go sleep with girls 30yrs younger than you? That's winning? sick

DP but lol, that's absolutely winning from a male perspective. Making a lot of money, which you parlay into having sex with dozens of young women - that is the dream.

When you decide to get divorced the dream is to get away from the woman who treats you with contempt and indifference. Everything after that is absolute bliss!

Probably not for your children and future children.

Women initiate 75% of divorces. Evidently they don't care about the happiness of their children, or can easily convince themselves that the kids will be fine or even better off after divorce (though it's really all about what she wants). As the man in this situation, it doesn't matter what you want or what might be best for the kids, it's happening anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She only _thought_ I was a dud. I was a winner all along, and she was and continues to be a loser.

My income is up 40 percent, and I've slept with a couple of dozen women who are 10-30 years younger than me since the divorce.

I've made two major mistakes in life: getting married, and having children.

She was right and you just admitted it. Anyone who regrets their children IS a dud as a father and parenting partner. I doubt your ex is impressed by your sex life now, but I hope she’s keeping an eye on your bank account and taking what her kids are owed.

you left your kids to go sleep with girls 30yrs younger than you? That's winning? sick

DP but lol, that's absolutely winning from a male perspective. Making a lot of money, which you parlay into having sex with dozens of young women - that is the dream.

When you decide to get divorced the dream is to get away from the woman who treats you with contempt and indifference. Everything after that is absolute bliss!

Probably not for your children and future children.

Women initiate 75% of divorces. Evidently they don't care about the happiness of their children, or can easily convince themselves that the kids will be fine or even better off after divorce (though it's really all about what she wants). As the man in this situation, it doesn't matter what you want or what might be best for the kids, it's happening anyway.

As an adult who’s parents went through multiple marriages when I was a child, I can honestly say I was always happier when the screaming stopped.