husband wants to keep baby and I don't

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I'm saying it again Pro Choice is a choice. You don't want an abortion don't have one. You don't get to judge someone who does. Again get educated! It's called SCIENCE

I get to judge anyone I choose. Killing your baby is evil.

Same here. You're evil. I judge you for valuing the life of a fetus over the life of a woman. Every pregnancy puts the life of a full grown woman at risk. Pregnancies go wrong at the last minute, all the time. Pregnancy and labor are one of the top ten killers of women in the United States and worldwide. You are demanding that women risk their lives for a fetus. Even if that fetus is considered the equivalent of a full person, you don't get to demand that. We don't demand that people risk their lives for other people in any other situation. Even our military is volunteer only. You don't get to draft women into being mothers. Having a uterus doesn't make women slaves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP should have had an abortion and not told her husband.

In the old days, women would go to see their mother and mom would tell them where to find an illegal abortion, and then would stay with Mom until recovered. Either that or have the unwanted child and be bitter the rest of your life..

In “the old days” plenty of women viewed abortion as akin to murder.

In "the old days" of Western Culture a variety of treatments were used to bring on menstruation. Abortion wasn't viewed as abortion or murder or killing a fetus until after movement (quickening) was felt, which is around the 4th or 5th month of pregnancy. Nobody really felt too concerned about aborting a first trimester pregnancy. In the Middle Ages, the Christian Church treated pre-quickening abortion as a misdemeanor. That attitude prevailed well into the 19th century in Europe and the United States.

Early Christians did not view abortion as murder. An injury to a pregnant woman that caused miscarriage was a non-critical injury, unless the pregnant woman died. The fetus was NOT viewed as a person.

Ancient Greeks viewed fetuses as akin to plants and killing a fetus was permissible. Only after the fetus was born and drew a breath was it considered a person.

In “the old days” there were many different views regarding abortion, but it is incredibly disingenuous for you to deny that abortion was widely viewed as killing as well, and this was not limited to only Christians. It’s ridiculous to assume that “in the old days” ones mother would have had no qualms about helping her daughter abort her grandchild.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I sympathize greatly with you. Your husband is being incredibly unfair and manipulative, and I wouldn’t stand for that for one minute in my marriage. I would abort and divorce. What I would never do is stay in a marriage in which I had to do something against my will - particularly something as important as having a child - in order to save the marriage. That is bullshit of the highest order. You are entitled not to want another child and you are entitled to terminate the pregnancy. It’s one thing to have a genuine disagreement with a spouse and quite another to be threatened with divorce as a mode of psychological manipulation. You deserve better. Good luck.

I have read all 20 pages and this is the first person to address this--If you took away abortion and replaced it with anything else, it would be 20 pages all about how awful the DH is to use the threat of divorce as a way to get what he wants, whatever that is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I'm saying it again Pro Choice is a choice. You don't want an abortion don't have one. You don't get to judge someone who does. Again get educated! It's called SCIENCE

I get to judge anyone I choose. Killing your baby is evil.

Same here. You're evil. I judge you for valuing the life of a fetus over the life of a woman. Every pregnancy puts the life of a full grown woman at risk. Pregnancies go wrong at the last minute, all the time. Pregnancy and labor are one of the top ten killers of women in the United States and worldwide. You are demanding that women risk their lives for a fetus. Even if that fetus is considered the equivalent of a full person, you don't get to demand that. We don't demand that people risk their lives for other people in any other situation. Even our military is volunteer only. You don't get to draft women into being mothers. Having a uterus doesn't make women slaves.

NP here. Fine you both are free to judge each other for each other’s attitudes. See how that works? But it’s rather obvious based on the responses here that the majority of people would be disapproving of a woman choosing to terminate her baby under the circumstances OP has described.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I sympathize greatly with you. Your husband is being incredibly unfair and manipulative, and I wouldn’t stand for that for one minute in my marriage. I would abort and divorce. What I would never do is stay in a marriage in which I had to do something against my will - particularly something as important as having a child - in order to save the marriage. That is bullshit of the highest order. You are entitled not to want another child and you are entitled to terminate the pregnancy. It’s one thing to have a genuine disagreement with a spouse and quite another to be threatened with divorce as a mode of psychological manipulation. You deserve better. Good luck.

I have read all 20 pages and this is the first person to address this--If you took away abortion and replaced it with anything else, it would be 20 pages all about how awful the DH is to use the threat of divorce as a way to get what he wants, whatever that is.

This is different though. It’s her husband’s child as well and she wants to kill it. It sounds as if DH would be willing to divorce and raise the child on his own.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I'm saying it again Pro Choice is a choice. You don't want an abortion don't have one. You don't get to judge someone who does. Again get educated! It's called SCIENCE

I get to judge anyone I choose. Killing your baby is evil.

Same here. You're evil. I judge you for valuing the life of a fetus over the life of a woman. Every pregnancy puts the life of a full grown woman at risk. Pregnancies go wrong at the last minute, all the time. Pregnancy and labor are one of the top ten killers of women in the United States and worldwide. You are demanding that women risk their lives for a fetus. Even if that fetus is considered the equivalent of a full person, you don't get to demand that. We don't demand that people risk their lives for other people in any other situation. Even our military is volunteer only. You don't get to draft women into being mothers. Having a uterus doesn't make women slaves.

Nice try. OP has said NOTHING indicating that there are any health risks associated with this pregnancy. You get an A plus for your attempt at deflection though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I'm saying it again Pro Choice is a choice. You don't want an abortion don't have one. You don't get to judge someone who does. Again get educated! It's called SCIENCE

I get to judge anyone I choose. Killing your baby is evil.

Same here. You're evil. I judge you for valuing the life of a fetus over the life of a woman. Every pregnancy puts the life of a full grown woman at risk. Pregnancies go wrong at the last minute, all the time. Pregnancy and labor are one of the top ten killers of women in the United States and worldwide. You are demanding that women risk their lives for a fetus. Even if that fetus is considered the equivalent of a full person, you don't get to demand that. We don't demand that people risk their lives for other people in any other situation. Even our military is volunteer only. You don't get to draft women into being mothers. Having a uterus doesn't make women slaves.

Is selective service registration gone? Last I looked men still had to register. I’d be glad if it was eliminated. But until then, the draft is a legal possibility.

[Anonymous]

It would be HELL to carry and more importantly RAISE a child you did not want. I would terminate.

[Anonymous]

It absolutely does not matter at all what anyone on DCUM thinks about OP’s desire. I think she only cares about what will happen with the marriage. The marriage seems effectively over all ready. My XH wanted me to abort our younger child. It killed the marriage as far as I was concerned. I’d never tell DC, but my older one knows from overhearing an argument. There was a lot of therapy spent talking about it. To this day, my older DC does not talk to my XH. But adores the younger sibling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I sympathize greatly with you. Your husband is being incredibly unfair and manipulative, and I wouldn’t stand for that for one minute in my marriage. I would abort and divorce. What I would never do is stay in a marriage in which I had to do something against my will - particularly something as important as having a child - in order to save the marriage. That is bullshit of the highest order. You are entitled not to want another child and you are entitled to terminate the pregnancy. It’s one thing to have a genuine disagreement with a spouse and quite another to be threatened with divorce as a mode of psychological manipulation. You deserve better. Good luck.

I have read all 20 pages and this is the first person to address this--If you took away abortion and replaced it with anything else, it would be 20 pages all about how awful the DH is to use the threat of divorce as a way to get what he wants, whatever that is.

This is different though. It’s her husband’s child as well and she wants to kill it. It sounds as if DH would be willing to divorce and raise the child on his own.

It's not a child.

Apparently you missed Biology in school.

Her body her choice! Still the law. She is the only only one to make the decision.

Complicated yes. Hard absolutely. HER Body HER Choice.

No matter how many times you post here won't change things. You have zero idea what she is going through. You do not live with her. You only know what she posted. Stop Judging her and trying to tell her what to do! She was venting and needs some time to decide for herself.

Pro Choice 100 % Still a law of our country. Get over it and again go back to school!

You do not want an abortion do not have one stop trying to control other women!.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It would be HELL to carry and more importantly RAISE a child you did not want. I would terminate.

She didn’t want her last child and now she loves her. Do you seriously think OP wouldn’t end up loving this child just as much?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP should have had an abortion and not told her husband.

In the old days, women would go to see their mother and mom would tell them where to find an illegal abortion, and then would stay with Mom until recovered. Either that or have the unwanted child and be bitter the rest of your life..

In “the old days” plenty of women viewed abortion as akin to murder.

WRONG.

And if you think anyone who is Pro Choice thinks any of this is easy you are stupid. It's not murder, get an education. You don't want an abortion do not have one. You have zero right to judge others who do. You are not their medical professional. Nor are you a GOD or any other higher being to suggest that you know better than a person who should have their own right to chose!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I'm saying it again Pro Choice is a choice. You don't want an abortion don't have one. You don't get to judge someone who does. Again get educated! It's called SCIENCE

I get to judge anyone I choose. Killing your baby is evil.

Same here. You're evil. I judge you for valuing the life of a fetus over the life of a woman. Every pregnancy puts the life of a full grown woman at risk. Pregnancies go wrong at the last minute, all the time. Pregnancy and labor are one of the top ten killers of women in the United States and worldwide. You are demanding that women risk their lives for a fetus. Even if that fetus is considered the equivalent of a full person, you don't get to demand that. We don't demand that people risk their lives for other people in any other situation. Even our military is volunteer only. You don't get to draft women into being mothers. Having a uterus doesn't make women slaves.

NP here. Fine you both are free to judge each other for each other’s attitudes. See how that works? But it’s rather obvious based on the responses here that the majority of people would be disapproving of a woman choosing to terminate her baby under the circumstances OP has described.

Not true. 75% of this country believes in pro choice. Guess what growing daily.

How do you know everything going on in that house? You do not.

And it doesn't matter anyway. It's not your CHOICE!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I'm saying it again Pro Choice is a choice. You don't want an abortion don't have one. You don't get to judge someone who does. Again get educated! It's called SCIENCE

I get to judge anyone I choose. Killing your baby is evil.

Same here. You're evil. I judge you for valuing the life of a fetus over the life of a woman. Every pregnancy puts the life of a full grown woman at risk. Pregnancies go wrong at the last minute, all the time. Pregnancy and labor are one of the top ten killers of women in the United States and worldwide. You are demanding that women risk their lives for a fetus. Even if that fetus is considered the equivalent of a full person, you don't get to demand that. We don't demand that people risk their lives for other people in any other situation. Even our military is volunteer only. You don't get to draft women into being mothers. Having a uterus doesn't make women slaves.

NP here. Fine you both are free to judge each other for each other’s attitudes. See how that works? But it’s rather obvious based on the responses here that the majority of people would be disapproving of a woman choosing to terminate her baby under the circumstances OP has described.

Not true. 75% of this country believes in pro choice. Guess what growing daily.

How do you know everything going on in that house? You do not.

And it doesn't matter anyway. It's not your CHOICE!

DP. You are correct it’s not anyone else’s choice, but OP has not claimed there is a health concern, financial strain, or domestic abuse. If you can’t defend her on the basis of just simply not wanting the child, don’t create extenuating circumstances you think are palatable. Either not wanting to be a mother is reason enough or it isn’t.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I sympathize greatly with you. Your husband is being incredibly unfair and manipulative, and I wouldn’t stand for that for one minute in my marriage. I would abort and divorce. What I would never do is stay in a marriage in which I had to do something against my will - particularly something as important as having a child - in order to save the marriage. That is bullshit of the highest order. You are entitled not to want another child and you are entitled to terminate the pregnancy. It’s one thing to have a genuine disagreement with a spouse and quite another to be threatened with divorce as a mode of psychological manipulation. You deserve better. Good luck.

I have read all 20 pages and this is the first person to address this--If you took away abortion and replaced it with anything else, it would be 20 pages all about how awful the DH is to use the threat of divorce as a way to get what he wants, whatever that is.

This is different though. It’s her husband’s child as well and she wants to kill it. It sounds as if DH would be willing to divorce and raise the child on his own.

It's not a child.

Apparently you missed Biology in school.

Her body her choice! Still the law. She is the only only one to make the decision.

Complicated yes. Hard absolutely. HER Body HER Choice.

No matter how many times you post here won't change things. You have zero idea what she is going through. You do not live with her. You only know what she posted. Stop Judging her and trying to tell her what to do! She was venting and needs some time to decide for herself.

Pro Choice 100 % Still a law of our country. Get over it and again go back to school!

You do not want an abortion do not have one stop trying to control other women!.

Yeah, but if there are other extenuating circumstances op hasn’t said what they are. We can only go by what she has said. No one is denying that it’s her legal right to do so. Of course it’s “her choice”. Every action anyone takes is “their choice”. It doesn’t mean other people can’t privately think her choice is selfish. And voicing disapproval on an anonymous message board isn’t the same as saying something in real life. I would bet that most of the disapproving posters here would keep their mouths shut in a real life discussion. Doesn’t mean that they wouldn’t privately think she’s a selfish b**ch for doing so.