Is "making dinner" part of your SAHM job description?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe Op's husband should decide that he hates going to work and earning money support her.

All this "but she hates it" is such garbage. We all do things we don't like to keep our household running smoothly. It's called being an adult. I'm not a good cook either, but I can put some olive oil, spices and breadcrumbs on chicken breasts and make some rice and vegetables.

+1000

How is asking him to put the chicken on any different than asking him to please throw a load of laundry in? Or should Op just bow to the monarch and let him rule his kingdom as he sees fit?

[Anonymous]

Yes.

Meals are a necessity for a family, just as laundry, childcare, and the like are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ok, I'm not going to get into the whole debate about a SAHM's workload or whether it's harder than it was 10n years ago. Admittedly, my only experience with SAHM-ing is from my maternity leaves.

My issue with OP's attitude is the whole "I'll take care of me, to hell with him" approach. That just isn't conducive to a happy marriage - whichever side it comes from! With one or more small child(ren), every adult in the household is going to be doing more than they used to. Every adult feels as though they've taken on 150% ... and they are usually all right. There just isn't time for inefficiencies - you need to learn to work together if you are going to survive.

Each person doing their own shopping and cooking? It just isn't efficient. Those kinds of efforts need to be combined. Fending for yourselves just doesn't work anymore. Throwing a patato in the oven for yourself? Add and extra one for your husband ... or better yet, add 3 or 4 extra for leftovers the rest of the week. Trust me, learning to be efficient is well worth the effort.

I agree totally. But if Op HATES meal planning & cooking, her husband knows that. If Op is willing to do everything but cooking, then Op's husband should pitch in and help out where he can with cooking.

It's all about a division of labor and, as you say, working as a team. Maybe Op's husband can cook meals on the weekend and freeze them. That way all Op has to do is take it out of the freezer and pop it in the oven to heat up.

OH boo-hoo for her. I hate changing diapers, but they still need to be changed. We all do things we dislike because they have to be done. Feeding a family isn't optional. And the alternatives to cooking regularly are expensive and unhealthy.

+1

There are things I despise about my job, but I do them because that's what I have to do to provide for my family. Meals are not optional. FFS, OP, grow up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I SAH, and I cook most of the time. I truly hate it, but DH will not cook unless I simply refuse. I love to cook, but the dinner grind is exhausting and really depresses me. DH will slop some sauce on boiled pasta and call it dinner (I call it revolting), but sometimes when I refuse to cook, that's what we eat.

If I had a reasonable spouse, we would split the meal-planning, shopping and cooking equally. That would be fair, but life isn't fair, so I'm stuck with most of it.

To answer your question, OP. No, no, no, no, no, no-no-no.

So you are home all day and he is working and you expect him to meal plan and grocery shop? Oh come on.

SAHMs have time during the day. They just do. Kids either nap or are in preschool part of the time or both for the vast majority of families. Get it together.

Do you SAH? Are you married to my DH? Do you have my kids? Do you know anything about my life?

Your judgmental response is worthless. Are you jealous that you can't SAH if you wanted to?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the criticism and time management stuff from the sahms is fair. But if your kid is in daycare or you have a nanny, why are you even responding? You've never done it and you can't go back in time and do it. Why is their daily laundry? Well, maybe at your house, laundry isn't done every day, because your nanny is doing your laundry for your child on an as needed basis. In my house, I feed my child between 4 to 5 times per day, and pretty much after every feeding, he needs a change of clothes. Because he's a young child, and he's messy. Combined to that to your husband's daily clothes, my daily clothes, whatever sheets need to be changed out, whatever towels, hand towels, and kitchen towels need to be changed out, and I do a small to medium sized load of laundry every day, even for my small family. Why isn't your dishwasher full at night? Because your child is being fed a daycare. All of the prep for the child's meals, the meals that you eat, the meals that your child eats, none of those dishes are generated at home. Like I said, I think that the stay at home moms have relevant criticisms. If you have outsourced your child care to a nanny, or to a daycare, you simply don't have any idea what you're talking about.

But the point is.. These things don't equate to a day's worth of work. I WAH and can easily manage this before work, or in literally a few minutes during the day. It takes a minute or two to wipe down a bathroom and swish the toilets.clean counters are clean, so a quick wiped own is generally all that's needed. I have A dog that poops her bed at night and can STILL manage several loads of laundry a day without it stressing me out. Dishes are done before work. So is showering, etc. I eat at home, plus make all other meals that need to go elsewhere that day (lunches, etc.) plus my own food for home.

Even so.. Let's call things as they are. Laundry is not a huge undertaking. I often end up with 5-6 loads a day and it does not break my labour budget. It literally takes a few moments to flip loads. Folding takes longer, but it can also wait. Dishes are not magic. Most kitchens have the cupboards above the dishwasher.. So basically you flip stuff up to the cupboard. What does it take if you actually time it? 2 minutes? Same with loading.

If your child needs a change of clothes after every feeding, five times a day, use a bib or tea towel. You are being a masochist and / or wasteful.

I make dinner every night. Sometimes I have a half hour to spare. Some times I don't. So learn how to make meals for time crunches. I can pp together a slow cooker meal with clients on the phone.. I imagine OP can do that with baby playing with pots in the kitchen. I preload my washer at night. I do things to make life more you fight things, the longer they take and the harder they seem.

I'm happy for you that you can do all of this, PP, and hold down a full-time job. I think, however, that you exaggerate, or you are a hyper-energetic person, unlike us average slobs. I could not do 5-6 loads of laundry or flip a load in a "few moments." I have to collect all the laundry from all the bedrooms, take it two flights down to the basement, sort it, put a single load into the washer, come upstairs to do more boring, mindless stuff, go back downstairs in 30 minutes, pull all the clothes out of the washer, hang up the ones that can't go into the dryer (DH's gym clothes), put the rest into the dryer, put a second load into the washer, put in detergent, push all the buttons, go back upstairs, rinse, repeat.. If I did this five times a day, it would take me most of the day. I could not do 5-6 loads of laundry after work.

I cannot make dinner for my family of six in 30 minutes. We eat fresh, healthy food, and I cook almost all meals from scratch. I do not have the option of throwing a frozen pizza into the oven and calling that dinner. Last night I made pizza for dinner, used a pizza crust I'd made the day before, cut up and cooked garlic in olive oil for the topping, mixed up cheeses for the topping, cut up tomatoes and chicken, baked the crust for 5 minutes, took it out, oiled it with the garlic-infused oil, put it back in for five minutes, pulled it out, and put on the other toppings, put it back in for 20 minutes, meanwhile I emptied the dishwasher, made a salad, set the table, took out the pizza, cut it, yelled for everyone to come to dinner, pulled out the plates, served the meal. This took me more than an hour, and this was a simple meal.

"It takes a minute or two" to clean your bathroom, PP? Are you joking? Your bathrooms must be encrusted with crud and smell like urine! Do you have boys? Probably not, or you would know it takes 30 minutes to clean the bathroom, at bare minimum. Scrubbing the toilet free of urine and other substances takes quite some time, even if you do it every day or two.

Your counters are clean all the time? If you do any cooking, you create a mess. I cook all meals, and my kitchen can take at least 45 minutes to clean up every night. There are lots of pots and pans to scrub, dishes to hand wash, dishwashers to load and unload, counters to scrub, things to put away.

I don't think you should criticize a SAHM if you have not done it yourself. It's boring and exhausting to stay at home with young kids. Boredom IS exhausting. Would you like to do tedious crap all day long? For an educated person, it's a form of torture. Try some sympathy and a little encouragement.

[Anonymous]

0900, I don't think you read OPs list of what she does. She is not deep cleaning bathrooms or doing 6 loads of laundry each day, by her own posts. She is doing spot cleaning, which really doesn't take that much time. I spot clean daily, so it doesn't take me hours to really clean. Again, it's all about being efficient should you choose to do so.

Yes, stuff happens, everyone has stuff to do, but meal making is not some huge, lengthy and unachievable task to add to the day.

And your pizza sounds lovely, but there's a reason people order it vs. Make it. I always make it on the weekends because it takes too much hands on time through the week.

Last night I made roast chicken. Took the chicken out of packaging, quickly oiled / seasoned, put it in the oven. Threw some rice and veggies in the steamer. Served with salad (and an oil and vinegar dressing it took me 1 min to make) and some crusty bread. A complete meal. It probably took me 5-7 min actual, present prep time plus waiting for the chicken. Cooking is what you make it. I could drag it on, or I can be efficient. Life is full of choices.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the criticism and time management stuff from the sahms is fair. But if your kid is in daycare or you have a nanny, why are you even responding? You've never done it and you can't go back in time and do it. Why is their daily laundry? Well, maybe at your house, laundry isn't done every day, because your nanny is doing your laundry for your child on an as needed basis. In my house, I feed my child between 4 to 5 times per day, and pretty much after every feeding, he needs a change of clothes. Because he's a young child, and he's messy. Combined to that to your husband's daily clothes, my daily clothes, whatever sheets need to be changed out, whatever towels, hand towels, and kitchen towels need to be changed out, and I do a small to medium sized load of laundry every day, even for my small family. Why isn't your dishwasher full at night? Because your child is being fed a daycare. All of the prep for the child's meals, the meals that you eat, the meals that your child eats, none of those dishes are generated at home. Like I said, I think that the stay at home moms have relevant criticisms. If you have outsourced your child care to a nanny, or to a daycare, you simply don't have any idea what you're talking about.

But the point is.. These things don't equate to a day's worth of work. I WAH and can easily manage this before work, or in literally a few minutes during the day. It takes a minute or two to wipe down a bathroom and swish the toilets.clean counters are clean, so a quick wiped own is generally all that's needed. I have A dog that poops her bed at night and can STILL manage several loads of laundry a day without it stressing me out. Dishes are done before work. So is showering, etc. I eat at home, plus make all other meals that need to go elsewhere that day (lunches, etc.) plus my own food for home.

Even so.. Let's call things as they are. Laundry is not a huge undertaking. I often end up with 5-6 loads a day and it does not break my labour budget. It literally takes a few moments to flip loads. Folding takes longer, but it can also wait. Dishes are not magic. Most kitchens have the cupboards above the dishwasher.. So basically you flip stuff up to the cupboard. What does it take if you actually time it? 2 minutes? Same with loading.

If your child needs a change of clothes after every feeding, five times a day, use a bib or tea towel. You are being a masochist and / or wasteful.

I make dinner every night. Sometimes I have a half hour to spare. Some times I don't. So learn how to make meals for time crunches. I can pp together a slow cooker meal with clients on the phone.. I imagine OP can do that with baby playing with pots in the kitchen. I preload my washer at night. I do things to make life more you fight things, the longer they take and the harder they seem.

I'm happy for you that you can do all of this, PP, and hold down a full-time job. I think, however, that you exaggerate, or you are a hyper-energetic person, unlike us average slobs. I could not do 5-6 loads of laundry or flip a load in a "few moments." I have to collect all the laundry from all the bedrooms, take it two flights down to the basement, sort it, put a single load into the washer, come upstairs to do more boring, mindless stuff, go back downstairs in 30 minutes, pull all the clothes out of the washer, hang up the ones that can't go into the dryer (DH's gym clothes), put the rest into the dryer, put a second load into the washer, put in detergent, push all the buttons, go back upstairs, rinse, repeat.. If I did this five times a day, it would take me most of the day. I could not do 5-6 loads of laundry after work.

I cannot make dinner for my family of six in 30 minutes. We eat fresh, healthy food, and I cook almost all meals from scratch. I do not have the option of throwing a frozen pizza into the oven and calling that dinner. Last night I made pizza for dinner, used a pizza crust I'd made the day before, cut up and cooked garlic in olive oil for the topping, mixed up cheeses for the topping, cut up tomatoes and chicken, baked the crust for 5 minutes, took it out, oiled it with the garlic-infused oil, put it back in for five minutes, pulled it out, and put on the other toppings, put it back in for 20 minutes, meanwhile I emptied the dishwasher, made a salad, set the table, took out the pizza, cut it, yelled for everyone to come to dinner, pulled out the plates, served the meal. This took me more than an hour, and this was a simple meal.

"It takes a minute or two" to clean your bathroom, PP? Are you joking? Your bathrooms must be encrusted with crud and smell like urine! Do you have boys? Probably not, or you would know it takes 30 minutes to clean the bathroom, at bare minimum. Scrubbing the toilet free of urine and other substances takes quite some time, even if you do it every day or two.

Your counters are clean all the time? If you do any cooking, you create a mess. I cook all meals, and my kitchen can take at least 45 minutes to clean up every night. There are lots of pots and pans to scrub, dishes to hand wash, dishwashers to load and unload, counters to scrub, things to put away.

I don't think you should criticize a SAHM if you have not done it yourself. It's boring and exhausting to stay at home with young kids. Boredom IS exhausting. Would you like to do tedious crap all day long? For an educated person, it's a form of torture. Try some sympathy and a little encouragement.

I was actually thinking the same thing about this poster. Is she super girl, zipping around, doing everything faster than the speed of light? THere's no way I could unload our D/W in 2 mins. It takes 10-15, for me. Cleaning one bathroom in a simple way takes 15 mins (I'm probably not as thorough as you).
I also stayed at home for some time before going back to work. I'm Pakistani and our simple meals took 45 mins - hour of active prep time; there's no way I could do things in 10 mins like pp suggested.
Now I wah, and if actually let myself do housework while 'on the clock', I will be at it for 2-2.5 hours, MINIMUM. I don't have that type of luxury with my work, so it all gets done at night.

[Anonymous]

Ok I get the not liking to cook or meal plan. But someone at some point goes to the grocery store for the cheese and the crackers etc. why can't mela planning be a joint activity and then whoever already shops just adds more stuff to the cart. If you don't want to spend time weekly planning then do What a poster suggested and take all uncertainty out of it. Monday is chicken, Tuesday is pasta, Wednesday is pork chops etc. then the grocery list is exactly the same every week and you only had to plan once.
Make it as easy on yourselves as posible since it's not a priority but Still a necessity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe Op's husband should decide that he hates going to work and earning money support her.

All this "but she hates it" is such garbage. We all do things we don't like to keep our household running smoothly. It's called being an adult. I'm not a good cook either, but I can put some olive oil, spices and breadcrumbs on chicken breasts and make some rice and vegetables.

+1 I'm guessing OP's DH doesn't love cooking or meal prep either otherwise he would've been doing it all along.

This all boils down to a complete lack of communication between the two and a touch of selfishness, which doesn't bode well if it continues.

Op, you and your DH need to sit down and divide chores. If you both hate meal prep and cooking, then you each need to take turns doing it. Casseroles and soups are easy to do and can be done in bulk on Sunday's. There are for services like blue apron that you can use if you decide you want a few 'real' meals a week together. If there are certain days you want DH to fend for himself, let him know ahead of time or at least on his way home from work so he doesn't have to go back out.

You are going to have bigger issues than this down the road. You need to work on communication and compromise.

+2 Like OP, I SAH - I have a seventeen-month-old. My house isn't spotless, but it's generally tidy. In addition to taking care of DD, I find the time to do the laundry, the dishes, the general upkeep, AND grocery shop/meal plan/make meals (we eat all of our meals at home and DH brings lunch to work - it is too stressful to eat out with a toddler). This is called LIFE.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe Op's husband should decide that he hates going to work and earning money support her.

All this "but she hates it" is such garbage. We all do things we don't like to keep our household running smoothly. It's called being an adult. I'm not a good cook either, but I can put some olive oil, spices and breadcrumbs on chicken breasts and make some rice and vegetables.

+1 I'm guessing OP's DH doesn't love cooking or meal prep either otherwise he would've been doing it all along.

This all boils down to a complete lack of communication between the two and a touch of selfishness, which doesn't bode well if it continues.

Op, you and your DH need to sit down and divide chores. If you both hate meal prep and cooking, then you each need to take turns doing it. Casseroles and soups are easy to do and can be done in bulk on Sunday's. There are for services like blue apron that you can use if you decide you want a few 'real' meals a week together. If there are certain days you want DH to fend for himself, let him know ahead of time or at least on his way home from work so he doesn't have to go back out.

You are going to have bigger issues than this down the road. You need to work on communication and compromise.

+2 Like OP, I SAH - I have a seventeen-month-old. My house isn't spotless, but it's generally tidy. In addition to taking care of DD, I find the time to do the laundry, the dishes, the general upkeep, AND grocery shop/meal plan/make meals (we eat all of our meals at home and DH brings lunch to work - it is too stressful to eat out with a toddler). This is called LIFE.

My husband used to take our two kids grocery shopping once a week on Sat mornings. It was my one guaranteed break from both kids at the same time. I will always love him for doing that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the criticism and time management stuff from the sahms is fair. But if your kid is in daycare or you have a nanny, why are you even responding? You've never done it and you can't go back in time and do it. Why is their daily laundry? Well, maybe at your house, laundry isn't done every day, because your nanny is doing your laundry for your child on an as needed basis. In my house, I feed my child between 4 to 5 times per day, and pretty much after every feeding, he needs a change of clothes. Because he's a young child, and he's messy. Combined to that to your husband's daily clothes, my daily clothes, whatever sheets need to be changed out, whatever towels, hand towels, and kitchen towels need to be changed out, and I do a small to medium sized load of laundry every day, even for my small family. Why isn't your dishwasher full at night? Because your child is being fed a daycare. All of the prep for the child's meals, the meals that you eat, the meals that your child eats, none of those dishes are generated at home. Like I said, I think that the stay at home moms have relevant criticisms. If you have outsourced your child care to a nanny, or to a daycare, you simply don't have any idea what you're talking about.

But the point is.. These things don't equate to a day's worth of work. I WAH and can easily manage this before work, or in literally a few minutes during the day. It takes a minute or two to wipe down a bathroom and swish the toilets.clean counters are clean, so a quick wiped own is generally all that's needed. I have A dog that poops her bed at night and can STILL manage several loads of laundry a day without it stressing me out. Dishes are done before work. So is showering, etc. I eat at home, plus make all other meals that need to go elsewhere that day (lunches, etc.) plus my own food for home.

Even so.. Let's call things as they are. Laundry is not a huge undertaking. I often end up with 5-6 loads a day and it does not break my labour budget. It literally takes a few moments to flip loads. Folding takes longer, but it can also wait. Dishes are not magic. Most kitchens have the cupboards above the dishwasher.. So basically you flip stuff up to the cupboard. What does it take if you actually time it? 2 minutes? Same with loading.

If your child needs a change of clothes after every feeding, five times a day, use a bib or tea towel. You are being a masochist and / or wasteful.

I make dinner every night. Sometimes I have a half hour to spare. Some times I don't. So learn how to make meals for time crunches. I can pp together a slow cooker meal with clients on the phone.. I imagine OP can do that with baby playing with pots in the kitchen. I preload my washer at night. I do things to make life more you fight things, the longer they take and the harder they seem.

I'm happy for you that you can do all of this, PP, and hold down a full-time job. I think, however, that you exaggerate, or you are a hyper-energetic person, unlike us average slobs. I could not do 5-6 loads of laundry or flip a load in a "few moments." I have to collect all the laundry from all the bedrooms, take it two flights down to the basement, sort it, put a single load into the washer, come upstairs to do more boring, mindless stuff, go back downstairs in 30 minutes, pull all the clothes out of the washer, hang up the ones that can't go into the dryer (DH's gym clothes), put the rest into the dryer, put a second load into the washer, put in detergent, push all the buttons, go back upstairs, rinse, repeat.. If I did this five times a day, it would take me most of the day. I could not do 5-6 loads of laundry after work.

I cannot make dinner for my family of six in 30 minutes. We eat fresh, healthy food, and I cook almost all meals from scratch. I do not have the option of throwing a frozen pizza into the oven and calling that dinner. Last night I made pizza for dinner, used a pizza crust I'd made the day before, cut up and cooked garlic in olive oil for the topping, mixed up cheeses for the topping, cut up tomatoes and chicken, baked the crust for 5 minutes, took it out, oiled it with the garlic-infused oil, put it back in for five minutes, pulled it out, and put on the other toppings, put it back in for 20 minutes, meanwhile I emptied the dishwasher, made a salad, set the table, took out the pizza, cut it, yelled for everyone to come to dinner, pulled out the plates, served the meal. This took me more than an hour, and this was a simple meal.

"It takes a minute or two" to clean your bathroom, PP? Are you joking? Your bathrooms must be encrusted with crud and smell like urine! Do you have boys? Probably not, or you would know it takes 30 minutes to clean the bathroom, at bare minimum. Scrubbing the toilet free of urine and other substances takes quite some time, even if you do it every day or two.

Your counters are clean all the time? If you do any cooking, you create a mess. I cook all meals, and my kitchen can take at least 45 minutes to clean up every night. There are lots of pots and pans to scrub, dishes to hand wash, dishwashers to load and unload, counters to scrub, things to put away.

I don't think you should criticize a SAHM if you have not done it yourself. It's boring and exhausting to stay at home with young kids. Boredom IS exhausting. Would you like to do tedious crap all day long? For an educated person, it's a form of torture. Try some sympathy and a little encouragement.

Yet another lazy SAHM.

I work and before anyone else even wakes up I've done 5 loads of laundry, mopped all of the floors, given my DH a BJ or two, given myself a Brazilian, prepped breakfast/lunch/dinner for my family as well as several meals for the homeless shelter. Then I get everyone out the door by 6am. We all arrive home by 6pm and then I do another 10 loads of laundry, wash our dishes, run over to do our elderly neighbor's dishes, mow the lawn, mop the floors again, give myself another Brazilian just in case, etc. Every single day.

You lazy SAHMs better get your act together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I SAH, and I cook most of the time. I truly hate it, but DH will not cook unless I simply refuse. I love to cook, but the dinner grind is exhausting and really depresses me. DH will slop some sauce on boiled pasta and call it dinner (I call it revolting), but sometimes when I refuse to cook, that's what we eat.

If I had a reasonable spouse, we would split the meal-planning, shopping and cooking equally. That would be fair, but life isn't fair, so I'm stuck with most of it.

To answer your question, OP. No, no, no, no, no, no-no-no.

So you are home all day and he is working and you expect him to meal plan and grocery shop? Oh come on.

SAHMs have time during the day. They just do. Kids either nap or are in preschool part of the time or both for the vast majority of families. Get it together.

Do you SAH? Are you married to my DH? Do you have my kids? Do you know anything about my life?

Your judgmental response is worthless. Are you jealous that you can't SAH if you wanted to?

Oh grow up.

Generally speaking - someone outside the house from 7am-7pm doesn't have time to grocery shop and make dinner. A SAH parent does; I don't care if you have infant triplets. You have to shop and make meals for the infant triplets right, take the extra 15 minutes to make adult food!!!

WTF!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"What's your damage, Heather?" Yes, most stay at home moms cook dinner for the family. I don't say this to be rude, but if you ate healthier than a diet Coke and baked potato you might have more energy.

Why not eat your cheese and crackers for lunch but then make a balanced, nutritious meal for yourself and your husband so you can reconnect after being apart all day? It's really shitty that after being "on" at work all day he turned around and had to go to the grocery store.

This. If I were your husband, I'd flip out. If you don't like sahm, go back to work & get a nanny who does meal prep.

"Stay at home mom" does not equal "Stay at home maid". OP, get a housekeeper/chef or signup for the home delivered meals. Your cooking dilemma can be solved by spending some money- making it an expense and not a problem.

[Anonymous]

OP, another piece of advice. I would think long and hard before having another child if you are having such a difficult time with just one in terms of finding time to do chores you don't enjoy and in your attitude toward parental roles. Plus, you will not be able to have another since it seems like 100% of your attention is focused on your first when he/she is awake. No way will that baby be able to handle another baby taking away your time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I SAH, and I cook most of the time. I truly hate it, but DH will not cook unless I simply refuse. I love to cook, but the dinner grind is exhausting and really depresses me. DH will slop some sauce on boiled pasta and call it dinner (I call it revolting), but sometimes when I refuse to cook, that's what we eat.

If I had a reasonable spouse, we would split the meal-planning, shopping and cooking equally. That would be fair, but life isn't fair, so I'm stuck with most of it.

To answer your question, OP. No, no, no, no, no, no-no-no.

So you are home all day and he is working and you expect him to meal plan and grocery shop? Oh come on.

SAHMs have time during the day. They just do. Kids either nap or are in preschool part of the time or both for the vast majority of families. Get it together.

Do you SAH? Are you married to my DH? Do you have my kids? Do you know anything about my life?

Your judgmental response is worthless. Are you jealous that you can't SAH if you wanted to?

Oh grow up.

Generally speaking - someone outside the house from 7am-7pm doesn't have time to grocery shop and make dinner. A SAH parent does; I don't care if you have infant triplets. You have to shop and make meals for the infant triplets right, take the extra 15 minutes to make adult food!!!

WTF!!

If you don't have to be to work until 7am you have loads of time to cook dinner in the morning. Just pop it in the fridge and reheat when you get home.