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Why are some parents so cold and unfriendly?
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Anonymous
Hmmm, not sure on this one…I know that it’s a spice commonly used to season crabs. So maybe PP is referencing crab-like behaviors and movements. When you think about it crabs are quite versatile crustaceans that do many things that begin with c. They crawl, compete, compare, calculate, copy…and there is something else they do…anyone?…you guessed it…climb! They are expert climbers, you are correct! |
Anonymous
I think it's just a dig at people from Maryland. |
Anonymous
That's already what everyone is doing, head buried in a phone. No tips needed on that front. This thread is about the lingering few who want to keep the last bit of social fabric going. |
Anonymous
That PP is so odd. They hate Marylanders but live there. They hate small talk but work in communications. They think everyone is sliding up to them to gain an advantage but they don't have any advantages to confer. None of it makes any sense. |
Anonymous
that’s an interesting theory. Where in MD? |
Anonymous
| People, parents or not, come in all varieties of personalities. |
Anonymous
ooop, there’s another c….communications…we’re constructing a real tongue twister here! The winner gets to create a custom-made sentence. Keep it cute! |
Anonymous
It also assumes a social hierarchy, and that the person being asked "which one is your kid?" is higher up said hierarchy. This just sounds like hierarchy. One or two posters on here seem to to think the average parent is sitting around plotting ways to gain access to the "cool kids" club at their kids' elementary school. When in reality most people are just trying to figure out what to make for dinner, looking for handyman recommendations, or thinking about something annoying happening at work. I have neither the energy nor the interest to try and effect some kind of social coup among a group of people I am only loosely associated with via my kids. |
Anonymous
Mean to type "This just sounds like narcissism" instead of repeating the word hierarchy. My bad. |
Anonymous
It has to be that. The crazed PP has a relatively low status job for the DMV. |
Anonymous
Agreed. This is how Americans have been socialized (or not socialized). |
Anonymous
| I do see some degree of “fishing for information” at kids sports. There’s always those 1-2 parents even on the most casual of 6 year old rec teams who want to know where their kid sizes up against everyone else’s kid. I also find that those people are VERY easy to sniff out. But you don’t have to play their weird competitive little game, you can just point out your kid and make some kind of joke about how they’d rather be at home playing Switch games or coloring and the competitive sports parents will leave you alone. |
Anonymous
I very rarely have moments like this in the grocery store but they are pleasant little interactions when they happen. |
Anonymous
It's not an American thing. It might be a DC thing, though I think you find similar people in any large coastal city with a lot of "high status" jobs. People are not like this most other places. That's part of why it's disorienting for those of us who have lived elsewhere. I never thought about the Rust Belt city we used to live in as being a particularly friendly place, until I moved to DC. I think it's a combination here of people being genuinely more busy (due to more demanding jobs, a culture with higher expectations for achievement and "busy-ness", and a higher cost of living that demand more of people to do just okay), and a cultural difference that makes people here more cynical and suspicious. Like the posts in this thread assuming someone saying hi or introducing themselves must want something from you, or will become clingy -- that's very much a DC attitude that you would never find in our former city. But where we used to live, more people had 9-5 or 8-4 jobs that weren't particularly high pressured. Culturally there wasn't an expectation that your job be important or influential. Most people went to state schools and are fine with their kids doing the same. Even among more successful white collar professionals, there's just a general lack of intensity around work and money. COL was waaaaaay lower so people didn't stress about needing a really high income, which means more families have a spouse who takes a few years off or works PT or has a very flexible job, which means more people aren't as stressed and pressed at school pick up or events. People still have problems, some people are nicer or meaner, there's still the normal range of social experiences there. But you don't encounter this specific problem of unfriendliness or rudeness. Pretty much everyone, no matter their personality or situation, will do the standard quick hello or introduction with another parent, while smiling pleasantly. It's just expected this is what you do and no one views it as a burden or manipulation tactic. Maybe on a really bad day you might be shorter than usual but it's going to be rare and most people will write it off as "oh she probably wasn't feeling well." DC is really different. There is a hostility here I am unused to. I miss where we used to live, frankly. |
Anonymous
I have had interactions like that in the DC area but it's rare for it to happen with a fellow UMC white woman. When I have those exchanges, they are almost always with black people here. Yesterday I was walking my daughter home from school and a woman walking by saw her uniform (public school) and stopped and asked if we were at XYZ school. I said yes and she said that was where her child went, and we had this nice, short conversation about the school and the neighborhood. I walked away just feeling pleasant and connected to my community. But this only happens with black people here. On average, the white people are much less friendly. And I'm white. I try not to contribute to the problem, I don't really get why it's like this. |