Why are some parents so cold and unfriendly?

[Anonymous]

Sad but normal. At our schools, there are the mean parent cliques and they are very clear you are not welcome.

[Anonymous]

Just accept it as it is. They can't change you and you can't change them. Let it go

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would love to know as well. My theory is that they’re so egotistical they actually worry I’m going to try to insinuate myself into their “circle”. I’m just being polite!

But try to take the long game, OP. After years as a parent of school-age kids I’ve had several of these ice queens eventually try to befriend ME after one of their children wants to play with mine or they realize I’m organize some kind of event.

Similar experiences here. I always thought they were social climbers and I wasn't "cool" enough for them to socialize with. Then when the donor lost comes out and our names are towards the top, I see the shift. It happened with each of my kids. We aren't easily google-able and my children are the quiet ones that are well liked but not even close to "popular".

[Anonymous]

I'm the opposite. I look like one of them and they are super welcoming at first. Then they learn more about me (I live in the poor neighborhood and my sons aren't good at sports and I have a low-status job) and they stop saying hi to me.

[Anonymous]

I would just remember that it isn’t necessarily about you.

I am always polite and inclusive but:

I’m going through a hard time in my personal life (my mom has terminal cancer, and my marriage is really in a bad place)- so I just am not feeling all that social these days. And I probably do seem unfriendly. Some people are good at compartmentalizing but I struggle. Definitely nothing to at all to do with you.

[Anonymous]

You might just be getting the introverted/less-social parent (there's one in most couples).

[Anonymous]

If I'm ever like this it is because I'm so tired that I am hanging on by a thread. I can usually muster a smile and a hi, but it's zombieland for me. It really isn't about you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If I'm ever like this it is because I'm so tired that I am hanging on by a thread. I can usually muster a smile and a hi, but it's zombieland for me. It really isn't about you.

Agree. I'm usually very friendly but every so often Im just exhausted and cant muster up too much and then end up paying for it socially for the next two years because that person was offended. Give people at least 3 chances OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. I've got nothing left. I spent all day having to talk to people.
2. I'm not there to chat with you. You are from the South or Midwest and think you're being friendly. I'm from NY and think you're like an annoying gnat - inconsequential and irrelevant. I'm there to see my kid, meet with teachers, etc.

Seeing other human beings as inconsequential actually makes you a horrible one. Hope this helps!

And get over yourself with the "I'm from New York crap". My husband is a born and bread New Yorker and nice to people. You're just an ahole.

I don't really care what you think of me. That's what I mean by inconsequential. Your opinions don't matter to me. Because I'm not at the school to make friends with you.

...says the person justifying their behavior on an anonymous forum 🤡

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If I'm ever like this it is because I'm so tired that I am hanging on by a thread. I can usually muster a smile and a hi, but it's zombieland for me. It really isn't about you.

Agree. I'm usually very friendly but every so often Im just exhausted and cant muster up too much and then end up paying for it socially for the next two years because that person was offended. Give people at least 3 chances OP.

I love this. Not OP but will do.

[Anonymous]

Let me guess, did you just come back from Back to School Night?

[Anonymous]

How old are the kids? I had an awkward moment at back to school night with a couple (both mom and dad), they would not even look at me, and then I found out from the mom of my kid’s friend that the previous school year, my kid told the other kid he was being annoying and acting like a baby and now apparently his parents are holding a grudge about it. Lol. Oh, kid drama …

[Anonymous]

People are really oddly unfriendly. I definitely admit I look people up out of curiosity but I am friendly to anyone I meet — don’t actually care what your job is, how much money you have, or if you are in the right clubs or went to the right schools.

Sad to see some of the responses here. Everything doesn’t have to be so transactional. You’re all part of the same community, and feeding negativity into the community will only reflect poorly on our kids.

[Anonymous]

I don’t waste time thinking about it. I assume either they’re awkward, I’m awkward, or they’re not friendly and if it’s the latter, I don’t need to waste time on them. There are plenty of nice people I do click with and don’t need to focus on the ones I don’t.

[Anonymous]

It’s the DC area. People here don’t have basic social intelligence. It’s one of the things that make daily interactions here so unpleasant. As if saying hello or chatting for 2 minutes while at your kid’s school is just SO annoying and taxing that you can’t even bring yourself to do it. No one is trying to be your BFF or social climb by asking how your kid likes their teacher. So I’ll continue saying hi when I see you and I’ll comment on the traffic or whatever while we’re standing next to each other at the game this weekend watching our kids play on the same team because I like a world where people exchange pleasantries.