Why are some parents so cold and unfriendly?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m not particularly friendly because I’ve been burned too many times by social climbers who want to use me for either connections or something I can provide them. I’m cautious now.

this an actual valid reason to be cold and unfriendly, the delulu climbers who want to act brand new IRL, but are covered in Old Bay, phishing and spamming school directories, are the ones who have a right to stop typing. Anything hypocritical thing you type is being used against you in these forum pages and its real cray cray.

Can we take a quick time out so someone can explain the covered in old bay thing?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So we are attending events as mutes in order to people watch and eavesdrop on other people’s interactions…is that what we are doing now? I get going to a school event to support your kids and be involved with what is going on at the school. But I don’t understand the angst directed at people who want to stay on and socialize and casually converse with the “community” that they may one day need to rely on…it’s not just other parents…it’s the teachers and staff. That’s the bizarre tone of the trolls regurgitating the same weak argument throughout this thread.

Not having any mutuals (read social "ins") at your kid's school sets off red flags. A lot of parents are feds, trained to be extremely wary around randoms trying to chat. Bottom line, we don't know you and we're frankly not interested in knowing you. That's not a me/us problem, it's a you problem for being offended. This thread is full of deeply presumptuous people with a lack of self awareness. Stop trying to force yourself on others. We just want to be left alone and associate with people we know and have vetted.

DP. This might be one of the weirdest threads I’ve ever seen on DCUM and that is saying something. And you might be the weirdest person on it. What’s up with your obsession with vetting? If you are this paranoid because of your line of work, go get some help. You’re a net negative in the community. I would bet money that whoever you think your friends are probably talk badly about you behind your back.

Driving the point home that from their POV you are a random ass stranger. You crazies have such audacity to believe everyone you seek to orbit MUST give you their undivided attention because your kid is randomly 1 of 500 or 1 or 2,000 at the same school. We. Don’t. Know. You.

“Seeing someone” a bunch of times somewhere doesn’t make you likely friends. I would see the same people on the Metro often twice a day. Outside of a random non-verbal nod, I never had the impulse to say a single word to them.

Taking it personal and whining in DCUM threads about this issue just proves there’s something off about you and their snap judgment of you is accurate. You warrant the icing. Sorry you’re middle aged with so few friends. The rest of us don’t have that problem and aren’t desperate for more.

If you don’t know how to make small talk with acquaintances without thinking they are “orbiting” you, you’re either neurodiverse or you were raised poorly.

Just being honest. You want this thread to be an echo chamber full of desperate social outcasts blaming everyone else. Just giving you the other side of the coin. Bottom line, they’re not interested. Strangers don’t owe you their time, kindness, chit-chat…or anything for that matter.

“Hey, how’re you doing?”

“I DON’T OWE YOU ANYTHING!!!!”

For people so sure of their social skills they don't seem very good at sizing people up, reading body language, and identifying the social and friendly people who want to chat. It's really not that hard but some people are coming across like annoying puppies who just go up to everyone oblivious to the cues and body language their targets are putting out.

The irony here is that I actually do not care enough about you individually to put that much effort into figuring out if I'm "allowed" to say benign things like "how's it going?" or "oh, which kid is yours?" The world does not revolve around you and I do not care if you are "put out" by a very minimal level of human interaction.

I don't even like interacting with other parents much either but view it as part of the gig. Get over yourself.

It's a real mystery why you're struggling at school. You seem so..... pleasant.

I think the PP sounds a lot more pleasant than people who believe 2 minutes of small talk during pick up is an unacceptable social burden.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So we are attending events as mutes in order to people watch and eavesdrop on other people’s interactions…is that what we are doing now? I get going to a school event to support your kids and be involved with what is going on at the school. But I don’t understand the angst directed at people who want to stay on and socialize and casually converse with the “community” that they may one day need to rely on…it’s not just other parents…it’s the teachers and staff. That’s the bizarre tone of the trolls regurgitating the same weak argument throughout this thread.

Not having any mutuals (read social "ins") at your kid's school sets off red flags. A lot of parents are feds, trained to be extremely wary around randoms trying to chat. Bottom line, we don't know you and we're frankly not interested in knowing you. That's not a me/us problem, it's a you problem for being offended. This thread is full of deeply presumptuous people with a lack of self awareness. Stop trying to force yourself on others. We just want to be left alone and associate with people we know and have vetted.

DP. This might be one of the weirdest threads I’ve ever seen on DCUM and that is saying something. And you might be the weirdest person on it. What’s up with your obsession with vetting? If you are this paranoid because of your line of work, go get some help. You’re a net negative in the community. I would bet money that whoever you think your friends are probably talk badly about you behind your back.

Driving the point home that from their POV you are a random ass stranger. You crazies have such audacity to believe everyone you seek to orbit MUST give you their undivided attention because your kid is randomly 1 of 500 or 1 or 2,000 at the same school. We. Don’t. Know. You.

“Seeing someone” a bunch of times somewhere doesn’t make you likely friends. I would see the same people on the Metro often twice a day. Outside of a random non-verbal nod, I never had the impulse to say a single word to them.

Taking it personal and whining in DCUM threads about this issue just proves there’s something off about you and their snap judgment of you is accurate. You warrant the icing. Sorry you’re middle aged with so few friends. The rest of us don’t have that problem and aren’t desperate for more.

If you don’t know how to make small talk with acquaintances without thinking they are “orbiting” you, you’re either neurodiverse or you were raised poorly.

Just being honest. You want this thread to be an echo chamber full of desperate social outcasts blaming everyone else. Just giving you the other side of the coin. Bottom line, they’re not interested. Strangers don’t owe you their time, kindness, chit-chat…or anything for that matter.

“Hey, how’re you doing?”

“I DON’T OWE YOU ANYTHING!!!!”

For people so sure of their social skills they don't seem very good at sizing people up, reading body language, and identifying the social and friendly people who want to chat. It's really not that hard but some people are coming across like annoying puppies who just go up to everyone oblivious to the cues and body language their targets are putting out.

The irony here is that I actually do not care enough about you individually to put that much effort into figuring out if I'm "allowed" to say benign things like "how's it going?" or "oh, which kid is yours?" The world does not revolve around you and I do not care if you are "put out" by a very minimal level of human interaction.

I don't even like interacting with other parents much either but view it as part of the gig. Get over yourself.

It's a real mystery why you're struggling at school. You seem so..... pleasant.

I think the PP sounds a lot more pleasant than people who believe 2 minutes of small talk during pick up is an unacceptable social burden.

But they aren't the ones complaining. Someone is mad their pleasantries are rebuffed. Maybe they caught some people on a bad day it's not like people are asking who the hell these people are for coming up to them. Just give people space and mind your business. Sometimes you just need those two minutes to gear up to put on a happy face for the kids after a tough day at work. Who knows what someone else is dealing with, I mind my own business and don't worry about the people around me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So we are attending events as mutes in order to people watch and eavesdrop on other people’s interactions…is that what we are doing now? I get going to a school event to support your kids and be involved with what is going on at the school. But I don’t understand the angst directed at people who want to stay on and socialize and casually converse with the “community” that they may one day need to rely on…it’s not just other parents…it’s the teachers and staff. That’s the bizarre tone of the trolls regurgitating the same weak argument throughout this thread.

Not having any mutuals (read social "ins") at your kid's school sets off red flags. A lot of parents are feds, trained to be extremely wary around randoms trying to chat. Bottom line, we don't know you and we're frankly not interested in knowing you. That's not a me/us problem, it's a you problem for being offended. This thread is full of deeply presumptuous people with a lack of self awareness. Stop trying to force yourself on others. We just want to be left alone and associate with people we know and have vetted.

DP. This might be one of the weirdest threads I’ve ever seen on DCUM and that is saying something. And you might be the weirdest person on it. What’s up with your obsession with vetting? If you are this paranoid because of your line of work, go get some help. You’re a net negative in the community. I would bet money that whoever you think your friends are probably talk badly about you behind your back.

Driving the point home that from their POV you are a random ass stranger. You crazies have such audacity to believe everyone you seek to orbit MUST give you their undivided attention because your kid is randomly 1 of 500 or 1 or 2,000 at the same school. We. Don’t. Know. You.

“Seeing someone” a bunch of times somewhere doesn’t make you likely friends. I would see the same people on the Metro often twice a day. Outside of a random non-verbal nod, I never had the impulse to say a single word to them.

Taking it personal and whining in DCUM threads about this issue just proves there’s something off about you and their snap judgment of you is accurate. You warrant the icing. Sorry you’re middle aged with so few friends. The rest of us don’t have that problem and aren’t desperate for more.

If you don’t know how to make small talk with acquaintances without thinking they are “orbiting” you, you’re either neurodiverse or you were raised poorly.

Just being honest. You want this thread to be an echo chamber full of desperate social outcasts blaming everyone else. Just giving you the other side of the coin. Bottom line, they’re not interested. Strangers don’t owe you their time, kindness, chit-chat…or anything for that matter.

“Hey, how’re you doing?”

“I DON’T OWE YOU ANYTHING!!!!”

For people so sure of their social skills they don't seem very good at sizing people up, reading body language, and identifying the social and friendly people who want to chat. It's really not that hard but some people are coming across like annoying puppies who just go up to everyone oblivious to the cues and body language their targets are putting out.

The irony here is that I actually do not care enough about you individually to put that much effort into figuring out if I'm "allowed" to say benign things like "how's it going?" or "oh, which kid is yours?" The world does not revolve around you and I do not care if you are "put out" by a very minimal level of human interaction.

I don't even like interacting with other parents much either but view it as part of the gig. Get over yourself.

Why is it your business who my kid is? Please spare us that you plan to ask two innocuous questions total, period. No. You want to segue into what do you do, where do you all live, you want to try to name drop. You’re desperate for social interaction and want to worm your and your kid’s way into an association with higher status families.

You’re pissed you’re sized up as an interloper and cut off before you can launch.

You social climbers obviously do care, which is why this thread is a hundred pages of you whining about not being able to break into a parent clique at your kid’s school.

[Anonymous]

The social climbing accusations are weird, or at least specific to certain school communities or people.

I am considered "high status" within our school community. I also have plenty of friends. I am often approached and greeted at school and don't struggle to respond politely. Sometimes I do have to set boundaries but I don't find it hard.

I also often introduce myself to people or seek to get to know other families, and am sometimes rebuffed, which is fine -- I don't know what's going on with them, they may just want to be left alone. But there is a polite way to do it and a rude way to do it.

I of course judge the rude people. Manners are free.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So we are attending events as mutes in order to people watch and eavesdrop on other people’s interactions…is that what we are doing now? I get going to a school event to support your kids and be involved with what is going on at the school. But I don’t understand the angst directed at people who want to stay on and socialize and casually converse with the “community” that they may one day need to rely on…it’s not just other parents…it’s the teachers and staff. That’s the bizarre tone of the trolls regurgitating the same weak argument throughout this thread.

Not having any mutuals (read social "ins") at your kid's school sets off red flags. A lot of parents are feds, trained to be extremely wary around randoms trying to chat. Bottom line, we don't know you and we're frankly not interested in knowing you. That's not a me/us problem, it's a you problem for being offended. This thread is full of deeply presumptuous people with a lack of self awareness. Stop trying to force yourself on others. We just want to be left alone and associate with people we know and have vetted.

DP. This might be one of the weirdest threads I’ve ever seen on DCUM and that is saying something. And you might be the weirdest person on it. What’s up with your obsession with vetting? If you are this paranoid because of your line of work, go get some help. You’re a net negative in the community. I would bet money that whoever you think your friends are probably talk badly about you behind your back.

Driving the point home that from their POV you are a random ass stranger. You crazies have such audacity to believe everyone you seek to orbit MUST give you their undivided attention because your kid is randomly 1 of 500 or 1 or 2,000 at the same school. We. Don’t. Know. You.

“Seeing someone” a bunch of times somewhere doesn’t make you likely friends. I would see the same people on the Metro often twice a day. Outside of a random non-verbal nod, I never had the impulse to say a single word to them.

Taking it personal and whining in DCUM threads about this issue just proves there’s something off about you and their snap judgment of you is accurate. You warrant the icing. Sorry you’re middle aged with so few friends. The rest of us don’t have that problem and aren’t desperate for more.

If you don’t know how to make small talk with acquaintances without thinking they are “orbiting” you, you’re either neurodiverse or you were raised poorly.

Just being honest. You want this thread to be an echo chamber full of desperate social outcasts blaming everyone else. Just giving you the other side of the coin. Bottom line, they’re not interested. Strangers don’t owe you their time, kindness, chit-chat…or anything for that matter.

“Hey, how’re you doing?”

“I DON’T OWE YOU ANYTHING!!!!”

For people so sure of their social skills they don't seem very good at sizing people up, reading body language, and identifying the social and friendly people who want to chat. It's really not that hard but some people are coming across like annoying puppies who just go up to everyone oblivious to the cues and body language their targets are putting out.

The irony here is that I actually do not care enough about you individually to put that much effort into figuring out if I'm "allowed" to say benign things like "how's it going?" or "oh, which kid is yours?" The world does not revolve around you and I do not care if you are "put out" by a very minimal level of human interaction.

I don't even like interacting with other parents much either but view it as part of the gig. Get over yourself.

Why is it your business who my kid is? Please spare us that you plan to ask two innocuous questions total, period. No. You want to segue into what do you do, where do you all live, you want to try to name drop. You’re desperate for social interaction and want to worm your and your kid’s way into an association with higher status families.

You’re pissed you’re sized up as an interloper and cut off before you can launch.

You social climbers obviously do care, which is why this thread is a hundred pages of you whining about not being able to break into a parent clique at your kid’s school.

Np to the back and forth here. (Actually not true. I asked about the old bay dig above. Still curious about that one. Anyhoo)

You sound insane. Literally not of sound of mind. This is what goes through your head when someone says hi to you?? That is amazing. And hilarious. It’s called exchanging pleasantries. It’s just being a polite human being.

I mean, don’t stop. You are very entertaining and this thread is quickly becoming a new classic
*chef’s kiss*

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So we are attending events as mutes in order to people watch and eavesdrop on other people’s interactions…is that what we are doing now? I get going to a school event to support your kids and be involved with what is going on at the school. But I don’t understand the angst directed at people who want to stay on and socialize and casually converse with the “community” that they may one day need to rely on…it’s not just other parents…it’s the teachers and staff. That’s the bizarre tone of the trolls regurgitating the same weak argument throughout this thread.

Not having any mutuals (read social "ins") at your kid's school sets off red flags. A lot of parents are feds, trained to be extremely wary around randoms trying to chat. Bottom line, we don't know you and we're frankly not interested in knowing you. That's not a me/us problem, it's a you problem for being offended. This thread is full of deeply presumptuous people with a lack of self awareness. Stop trying to force yourself on others. We just want to be left alone and associate with people we know and have vetted.

DP. This might be one of the weirdest threads I’ve ever seen on DCUM and that is saying something. And you might be the weirdest person on it. What’s up with your obsession with vetting? If you are this paranoid because of your line of work, go get some help. You’re a net negative in the community. I would bet money that whoever you think your friends are probably talk badly about you behind your back.

Driving the point home that from their POV you are a random ass stranger. You crazies have such audacity to believe everyone you seek to orbit MUST give you their undivided attention because your kid is randomly 1 of 500 or 1 or 2,000 at the same school. We. Don’t. Know. You.

“Seeing someone” a bunch of times somewhere doesn’t make you likely friends. I would see the same people on the Metro often twice a day. Outside of a random non-verbal nod, I never had the impulse to say a single word to them.

Taking it personal and whining in DCUM threads about this issue just proves there’s something off about you and their snap judgment of you is accurate. You warrant the icing. Sorry you’re middle aged with so few friends. The rest of us don’t have that problem and aren’t desperate for more.

If you don’t know how to make small talk with acquaintances without thinking they are “orbiting” you, you’re either neurodiverse or you were raised poorly.

Just being honest. You want this thread to be an echo chamber full of desperate social outcasts blaming everyone else. Just giving you the other side of the coin. Bottom line, they’re not interested. Strangers don’t owe you their time, kindness, chit-chat…or anything for that matter.

“Hey, how’re you doing?”

“I DON’T OWE YOU ANYTHING!!!!”

For people so sure of their social skills they don't seem very good at sizing people up, reading body language, and identifying the social and friendly people who want to chat. It's really not that hard but some people are coming across like annoying puppies who just go up to everyone oblivious to the cues and body language their targets are putting out.

The irony here is that I actually do not care enough about you individually to put that much effort into figuring out if I'm "allowed" to say benign things like "how's it going?" or "oh, which kid is yours?" The world does not revolve around you and I do not care if you are "put out" by a very minimal level of human interaction.

I don't even like interacting with other parents much either but view it as part of the gig. Get over yourself.

It's a real mystery why you're struggling at school. You seem so..... pleasant.

I think the PP sounds a lot more pleasant than people who believe 2 minutes of small talk during pick up is an unacceptable social burden.

But they aren't the ones complaining. Someone is mad their pleasantries are rebuffed. Maybe they caught some people on a bad day it's not like people are asking who the hell these people are for coming up to them. Just give people space and mind your business. Sometimes you just need those two minutes to gear up to put on a happy face for the kids after a tough day at work. Who knows what someone else is dealing with, I mind my own business and don't worry about the people around me.

20 to 30 years ago these same weirdos were showing at fraternity house parties demanding to get in without knowing a soul inside. Not a lot has changed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So we are attending events as mutes in order to people watch and eavesdrop on other people’s interactions…is that what we are doing now? I get going to a school event to support your kids and be involved with what is going on at the school. But I don’t understand the angst directed at people who want to stay on and socialize and casually converse with the “community” that they may one day need to rely on…it’s not just other parents…it’s the teachers and staff. That’s the bizarre tone of the trolls regurgitating the same weak argument throughout this thread.

Not having any mutuals (read social "ins") at your kid's school sets off red flags. A lot of parents are feds, trained to be extremely wary around randoms trying to chat. Bottom line, we don't know you and we're frankly not interested in knowing you. That's not a me/us problem, it's a you problem for being offended. This thread is full of deeply presumptuous people with a lack of self awareness. Stop trying to force yourself on others. We just want to be left alone and associate with people we know and have vetted.

DP. This might be one of the weirdest threads I’ve ever seen on DCUM and that is saying something. And you might be the weirdest person on it. What’s up with your obsession with vetting? If you are this paranoid because of your line of work, go get some help. You’re a net negative in the community. I would bet money that whoever you think your friends are probably talk badly about you behind your back.

Driving the point home that from their POV you are a random ass stranger. You crazies have such audacity to believe everyone you seek to orbit MUST give you their undivided attention because your kid is randomly 1 of 500 or 1 or 2,000 at the same school. We. Don’t. Know. You.

“Seeing someone” a bunch of times somewhere doesn’t make you likely friends. I would see the same people on the Metro often twice a day. Outside of a random non-verbal nod, I never had the impulse to say a single word to them.

Taking it personal and whining in DCUM threads about this issue just proves there’s something off about you and their snap judgment of you is accurate. You warrant the icing. Sorry you’re middle aged with so few friends. The rest of us don’t have that problem and aren’t desperate for more.

If you don’t know how to make small talk with acquaintances without thinking they are “orbiting” you, you’re either neurodiverse or you were raised poorly.

Just being honest. You want this thread to be an echo chamber full of desperate social outcasts blaming everyone else. Just giving you the other side of the coin. Bottom line, they’re not interested. Strangers don’t owe you their time, kindness, chit-chat…or anything for that matter.

“Hey, how’re you doing?”

“I DON’T OWE YOU ANYTHING!!!!”

For people so sure of their social skills they don't seem very good at sizing people up, reading body language, and identifying the social and friendly people who want to chat. It's really not that hard but some people are coming across like annoying puppies who just go up to everyone oblivious to the cues and body language their targets are putting out.

The irony here is that I actually do not care enough about you individually to put that much effort into figuring out if I'm "allowed" to say benign things like "how's it going?" or "oh, which kid is yours?" The world does not revolve around you and I do not care if you are "put out" by a very minimal level of human interaction.

I don't even like interacting with other parents much either but view it as part of the gig. Get over yourself.

Why is it your business who my kid is? Please spare us that you plan to ask two innocuous questions total, period. No. You want to segue into what do you do, where do you all live, you want to try to name drop. You’re desperate for social interaction and want to worm your and your kid’s way into an association with higher status families.

You’re pissed you’re sized up as an interloper and cut off before you can launch.

You social climbers obviously do care, which is why this thread is a hundred pages of you whining about not being able to break into a parent clique at your kid’s school.

Np to the back and forth here. (Actually not true. I asked about the old bay dig above. Still curious about that one. Anyhoo)

You sound insane. Literally not of sound of mind. This is what goes through your head when someone says hi to you?? That is amazing. And hilarious. It’s called exchanging pleasantries. It’s just being a polite human being.

I mean, don’t stop. You are very entertaining and this thread is quickly becoming a new classic
*chef’s kiss*

Using chronically online Reddit lingo like “chefs kiss” just further demonstrates you’re a desperate weirdo and it’s no wonder cool mom and rich dad cliques want nothing to do with you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So we are attending events as mutes in order to people watch and eavesdrop on other people’s interactions…is that what we are doing now? I get going to a school event to support your kids and be involved with what is going on at the school. But I don’t understand the angst directed at people who want to stay on and socialize and casually converse with the “community” that they may one day need to rely on…it’s not just other parents…it’s the teachers and staff. That’s the bizarre tone of the trolls regurgitating the same weak argument throughout this thread.

Not having any mutuals (read social "ins") at your kid's school sets off red flags. A lot of parents are feds, trained to be extremely wary around randoms trying to chat. Bottom line, we don't know you and we're frankly not interested in knowing you. That's not a me/us problem, it's a you problem for being offended. This thread is full of deeply presumptuous people with a lack of self awareness. Stop trying to force yourself on others. We just want to be left alone and associate with people we know and have vetted.

DP. This might be one of the weirdest threads I’ve ever seen on DCUM and that is saying something. And you might be the weirdest person on it. What’s up with your obsession with vetting? If you are this paranoid because of your line of work, go get some help. You’re a net negative in the community. I would bet money that whoever you think your friends are probably talk badly about you behind your back.

Driving the point home that from their POV you are a random ass stranger. You crazies have such audacity to believe everyone you seek to orbit MUST give you their undivided attention because your kid is randomly 1 of 500 or 1 or 2,000 at the same school. We. Don’t. Know. You.

“Seeing someone” a bunch of times somewhere doesn’t make you likely friends. I would see the same people on the Metro often twice a day. Outside of a random non-verbal nod, I never had the impulse to say a single word to them.

Taking it personal and whining in DCUM threads about this issue just proves there’s something off about you and their snap judgment of you is accurate. You warrant the icing. Sorry you’re middle aged with so few friends. The rest of us don’t have that problem and aren’t desperate for more.

If you don’t know how to make small talk with acquaintances without thinking they are “orbiting” you, you’re either neurodiverse or you were raised poorly.

Just being honest. You want this thread to be an echo chamber full of desperate social outcasts blaming everyone else. Just giving you the other side of the coin. Bottom line, they’re not interested. Strangers don’t owe you their time, kindness, chit-chat…or anything for that matter.

“Hey, how’re you doing?”

“I DON’T OWE YOU ANYTHING!!!!”

For people so sure of their social skills they don't seem very good at sizing people up, reading body language, and identifying the social and friendly people who want to chat. It's really not that hard but some people are coming across like annoying puppies who just go up to everyone oblivious to the cues and body language their targets are putting out.

The irony here is that I actually do not care enough about you individually to put that much effort into figuring out if I'm "allowed" to say benign things like "how's it going?" or "oh, which kid is yours?" The world does not revolve around you and I do not care if you are "put out" by a very minimal level of human interaction.

I don't even like interacting with other parents much either but view it as part of the gig. Get over yourself.

It's a real mystery why you're struggling at school. You seem so..... pleasant.

I think the PP sounds a lot more pleasant than people who believe 2 minutes of small talk during pick up is an unacceptable social burden.

But they aren't the ones complaining. Someone is mad their pleasantries are rebuffed. Maybe they caught some people on a bad day it's not like people are asking who the hell these people are for coming up to them. Just give people space and mind your business. Sometimes you just need those two minutes to gear up to put on a happy face for the kids after a tough day at work. Who knows what someone else is dealing with, I mind my own business and don't worry about the people around me.

20 to 30 years ago these same weirdos were showing at fraternity house parties demanding to get in without knowing a soul inside. Not a lot has changed.

Still talking about fraternities at your big age says so much

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So we are attending events as mutes in order to people watch and eavesdrop on other people’s interactions…is that what we are doing now? I get going to a school event to support your kids and be involved with what is going on at the school. But I don’t understand the angst directed at people who want to stay on and socialize and casually converse with the “community” that they may one day need to rely on…it’s not just other parents…it’s the teachers and staff. That’s the bizarre tone of the trolls regurgitating the same weak argument throughout this thread.

Not having any mutuals (read social "ins") at your kid's school sets off red flags. A lot of parents are feds, trained to be extremely wary around randoms trying to chat. Bottom line, we don't know you and we're frankly not interested in knowing you. That's not a me/us problem, it's a you problem for being offended. This thread is full of deeply presumptuous people with a lack of self awareness. Stop trying to force yourself on others. We just want to be left alone and associate with people we know and have vetted.

DP. This might be one of the weirdest threads I’ve ever seen on DCUM and that is saying something. And you might be the weirdest person on it. What’s up with your obsession with vetting? If you are this paranoid because of your line of work, go get some help. You’re a net negative in the community. I would bet money that whoever you think your friends are probably talk badly about you behind your back.

Driving the point home that from their POV you are a random ass stranger. You crazies have such audacity to believe everyone you seek to orbit MUST give you their undivided attention because your kid is randomly 1 of 500 or 1 or 2,000 at the same school. We. Don’t. Know. You.

“Seeing someone” a bunch of times somewhere doesn’t make you likely friends. I would see the same people on the Metro often twice a day. Outside of a random non-verbal nod, I never had the impulse to say a single word to them.

Taking it personal and whining in DCUM threads about this issue just proves there’s something off about you and their snap judgment of you is accurate. You warrant the icing. Sorry you’re middle aged with so few friends. The rest of us don’t have that problem and aren’t desperate for more.

If you don’t know how to make small talk with acquaintances without thinking they are “orbiting” you, you’re either neurodiverse or you were raised poorly.

Just being honest. You want this thread to be an echo chamber full of desperate social outcasts blaming everyone else. Just giving you the other side of the coin. Bottom line, they’re not interested. Strangers don’t owe you their time, kindness, chit-chat…or anything for that matter.

“Hey, how’re you doing?”

“I DON’T OWE YOU ANYTHING!!!!”

For people so sure of their social skills they don't seem very good at sizing people up, reading body language, and identifying the social and friendly people who want to chat. It's really not that hard but some people are coming across like annoying puppies who just go up to everyone oblivious to the cues and body language their targets are putting out.

The irony here is that I actually do not care enough about you individually to put that much effort into figuring out if I'm "allowed" to say benign things like "how's it going?" or "oh, which kid is yours?" The world does not revolve around you and I do not care if you are "put out" by a very minimal level of human interaction.

I don't even like interacting with other parents much either but view it as part of the gig. Get over yourself.

Why is it your business who my kid is? Please spare us that you plan to ask two innocuous questions total, period. No. You want to segue into what do you do, where do you all live, you want to try to name drop. You’re desperate for social interaction and want to worm your and your kid’s way into an association with higher status families.

You’re pissed you’re sized up as an interloper and cut off before you can launch.

You social climbers obviously do care, which is why this thread is a hundred pages of you whining about not being able to break into a parent clique at your kid’s school.

Np to the back and forth here. (Actually not true. I asked about the old bay dig above. Still curious about that one. Anyhoo)

You sound insane. Literally not of sound of mind. This is what goes through your head when someone says hi to you?? That is amazing. And hilarious. It’s called exchanging pleasantries. It’s just being a polite human being.

I mean, don’t stop. You are very entertaining and this thread is quickly becoming a new classic
*chef’s kiss*

Using chronically online Reddit lingo like “chefs kiss” just further demonstrates you’re a desperate weirdo and it’s no wonder cool mom and rich dad cliques want nothing to do with you.

Nope! Wrong on most counts (i don’t go on any other message boards, but I guess I am here).

I’ve decided you’re actually a preteen girl trolling everyone. Bc seriously…“Cool mom and rich dad cliques” ??😂😂

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So we are attending events as mutes in order to people watch and eavesdrop on other people’s interactions…is that what we are doing now? I get going to a school event to support your kids and be involved with what is going on at the school. But I don’t understand the angst directed at people who want to stay on and socialize and casually converse with the “community” that they may one day need to rely on…it’s not just other parents…it’s the teachers and staff. That’s the bizarre tone of the trolls regurgitating the same weak argument throughout this thread.

Not having any mutuals (read social "ins") at your kid's school sets off red flags. A lot of parents are feds, trained to be extremely wary around randoms trying to chat. Bottom line, we don't know you and we're frankly not interested in knowing you. That's not a me/us problem, it's a you problem for being offended. This thread is full of deeply presumptuous people with a lack of self awareness. Stop trying to force yourself on others. We just want to be left alone and associate with people we know and have vetted.

DP. This might be one of the weirdest threads I’ve ever seen on DCUM and that is saying something. And you might be the weirdest person on it. What’s up with your obsession with vetting? If you are this paranoid because of your line of work, go get some help. You’re a net negative in the community. I would bet money that whoever you think your friends are probably talk badly about you behind your back.

Driving the point home that from their POV you are a random ass stranger. You crazies have such audacity to believe everyone you seek to orbit MUST give you their undivided attention because your kid is randomly 1 of 500 or 1 or 2,000 at the same school. We. Don’t. Know. You.

“Seeing someone” a bunch of times somewhere doesn’t make you likely friends. I would see the same people on the Metro often twice a day. Outside of a random non-verbal nod, I never had the impulse to say a single word to them.

Taking it personal and whining in DCUM threads about this issue just proves there’s something off about you and their snap judgment of you is accurate. You warrant the icing. Sorry you’re middle aged with so few friends. The rest of us don’t have that problem and aren’t desperate for more.

If you don’t know how to make small talk with acquaintances without thinking they are “orbiting” you, you’re either neurodiverse or you were raised poorly.

Just being honest. You want this thread to be an echo chamber full of desperate social outcasts blaming everyone else. Just giving you the other side of the coin. Bottom line, they’re not interested. Strangers don’t owe you their time, kindness, chit-chat…or anything for that matter.

“Hey, how’re you doing?”

“I DON’T OWE YOU ANYTHING!!!!”

For people so sure of their social skills they don't seem very good at sizing people up, reading body language, and identifying the social and friendly people who want to chat. It's really not that hard but some people are coming across like annoying puppies who just go up to everyone oblivious to the cues and body language their targets are putting out.

The irony here is that I actually do not care enough about you individually to put that much effort into figuring out if I'm "allowed" to say benign things like "how's it going?" or "oh, which kid is yours?" The world does not revolve around you and I do not care if you are "put out" by a very minimal level of human interaction.

I don't even like interacting with other parents much either but view it as part of the gig. Get over yourself.

Why is it your business who my kid is? Please spare us that you plan to ask two innocuous questions total, period. No. You want to segue into what do you do, where do you all live, you want to try to name drop. You’re desperate for social interaction and want to worm your and your kid’s way into an association with higher status families.

You’re pissed you’re sized up as an interloper and cut off before you can launch.

You social climbers obviously do care, which is why this thread is a hundred pages of you whining about not being able to break into a parent clique at your kid’s school.

Np to the back and forth here. (Actually not true. I asked about the old bay dig above. Still curious about that one. Anyhoo)

You sound insane. Literally not of sound of mind. This is what goes through your head when someone says hi to you?? That is amazing. And hilarious. It’s called exchanging pleasantries. It’s just being a polite human being.

I mean, don’t stop. You are very entertaining and this thread is quickly becoming a new classic
*chef’s kiss*

Using chronically online Reddit lingo like “chefs kiss” just further demonstrates you’re a desperate weirdo and it’s no wonder cool mom and rich dad cliques want nothing to do with you.

were you dropped on your head when you were a baby?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just don't get it. This post is not about wanting people to invite me or my kids places (truly unnecessary, not the point) or wanting other people's kids to be friends with my kids. I'm not trying to force anyone to do anything.

But so often when I'm at school events or activities, and forced into situation with other parents, I will turn to the person next to me and just introduce myself, ask about their kid, whatever, and they are so antisocial. Like one word answers, look uncomfortable or annoyed. I will read the room and drop it or move away, but I think it's weird. Even if I'm had a stressful day at work or am just in a bad mood, I will smile and be pleasant in those situations because, hey, we're all in the same boat to some degree and I just think being pleasant to fellow parents is part of the gig. I also just find it useful to be able to put parent faces/names with their kids, and to get to know the other families enough to be cordial during pick up/drop off or whatever.

If this is you, why can't you just be pleasant for a few moments? Why the cold shoulder?

Go to events with your spouse, then you won’t need to bug random parents. If no spouse, put a podcast on your AirPods.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So we are attending events as mutes in order to people watch and eavesdrop on other people’s interactions…is that what we are doing now? I get going to a school event to support your kids and be involved with what is going on at the school. But I don’t understand the angst directed at people who want to stay on and socialize and casually converse with the “community” that they may one day need to rely on…it’s not just other parents…it’s the teachers and staff. That’s the bizarre tone of the trolls regurgitating the same weak argument throughout this thread.

Not having any mutuals (read social "ins") at your kid's school sets off red flags. A lot of parents are feds, trained to be extremely wary around randoms trying to chat. Bottom line, we don't know you and we're frankly not interested in knowing you. That's not a me/us problem, it's a you problem for being offended. This thread is full of deeply presumptuous people with a lack of self awareness. Stop trying to force yourself on others. We just want to be left alone and associate with people we know and have vetted.

DP. This might be one of the weirdest threads I’ve ever seen on DCUM and that is saying something. And you might be the weirdest person on it. What’s up with your obsession with vetting? If you are this paranoid because of your line of work, go get some help. You’re a net negative in the community. I would bet money that whoever you think your friends are probably talk badly about you behind your back.

Driving the point home that from their POV you are a random ass stranger. You crazies have such audacity to believe everyone you seek to orbit MUST give you their undivided attention because your kid is randomly 1 of 500 or 1 or 2,000 at the same school. We. Don’t. Know. You.

“Seeing someone” a bunch of times somewhere doesn’t make you likely friends. I would see the same people on the Metro often twice a day. Outside of a random non-verbal nod, I never had the impulse to say a single word to them.

Taking it personal and whining in DCUM threads about this issue just proves there’s something off about you and their snap judgment of you is accurate. You warrant the icing. Sorry you’re middle aged with so few friends. The rest of us don’t have that problem and aren’t desperate for more.

If you don’t know how to make small talk with acquaintances without thinking they are “orbiting” you, you’re either neurodiverse or you were raised poorly.

Just being honest. You want this thread to be an echo chamber full of desperate social outcasts blaming everyone else. Just giving you the other side of the coin. Bottom line, they’re not interested. Strangers don’t owe you their time, kindness, chit-chat…or anything for that matter.

“Hey, how’re you doing?”

“I DON’T OWE YOU ANYTHING!!!!”

For people so sure of their social skills they don't seem very good at sizing people up, reading body language, and identifying the social and friendly people who want to chat. It's really not that hard but some people are coming across like annoying puppies who just go up to everyone oblivious to the cues and body language their targets are putting out.

The irony here is that I actually do not care enough about you individually to put that much effort into figuring out if I'm "allowed" to say benign things like "how's it going?" or "oh, which kid is yours?" The world does not revolve around you and I do not care if you are "put out" by a very minimal level of human interaction.

I don't even like interacting with other parents much either but view it as part of the gig. Get over yourself.

Why is it your business who my kid is? Please spare us that you plan to ask two innocuous questions total, period. No. You want to segue into what do you do, where do you all live, you want to try to name drop. You’re desperate for social interaction and want to worm your and your kid’s way into an association with higher status families.

You’re pissed you’re sized up as an interloper and cut off before you can launch.

You social climbers obviously do care, which is why this thread is a hundred pages of you whining about not being able to break into a parent clique at your kid’s school.

Np to the back and forth here. (Actually not true. I asked about the old bay dig above. Still curious about that one. Anyhoo)

You sound insane. Literally not of sound of mind. This is what goes through your head when someone says hi to you?? That is amazing. And hilarious. It’s called exchanging pleasantries. It’s just being a polite human being.

I mean, don’t stop. You are very entertaining and this thread is quickly becoming a new classic
*chef’s kiss*

Using chronically online Reddit lingo like “chefs kiss” just further demonstrates you’re a desperate weirdo and it’s no wonder cool mom and rich dad cliques want nothing to do with you.

DP. How did you recognize that as chronically online lingo? I think you are telling on yourself here…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So we are attending events as mutes in order to people watch and eavesdrop on other people’s interactions…is that what we are doing now? I get going to a school event to support your kids and be involved with what is going on at the school. But I don’t understand the angst directed at people who want to stay on and socialize and casually converse with the “community” that they may one day need to rely on…it’s not just other parents…it’s the teachers and staff. That’s the bizarre tone of the trolls regurgitating the same weak argument throughout this thread.

Not having any mutuals (read social "ins") at your kid's school sets off red flags. A lot of parents are feds, trained to be extremely wary around randoms trying to chat. Bottom line, we don't know you and we're frankly not interested in knowing you. That's not a me/us problem, it's a you problem for being offended. This thread is full of deeply presumptuous people with a lack of self awareness. Stop trying to force yourself on others. We just want to be left alone and associate with people we know and have vetted.

DP. This might be one of the weirdest threads I’ve ever seen on DCUM and that is saying something. And you might be the weirdest person on it. What’s up with your obsession with vetting? If you are this paranoid because of your line of work, go get some help. You’re a net negative in the community. I would bet money that whoever you think your friends are probably talk badly about you behind your back.

Driving the point home that from their POV you are a random ass stranger. You crazies have such audacity to believe everyone you seek to orbit MUST give you their undivided attention because your kid is randomly 1 of 500 or 1 or 2,000 at the same school. We. Don’t. Know. You.

“Seeing someone” a bunch of times somewhere doesn’t make you likely friends. I would see the same people on the Metro often twice a day. Outside of a random non-verbal nod, I never had the impulse to say a single word to them.

Taking it personal and whining in DCUM threads about this issue just proves there’s something off about you and their snap judgment of you is accurate. You warrant the icing. Sorry you’re middle aged with so few friends. The rest of us don’t have that problem and aren’t desperate for more.

If you don’t know how to make small talk with acquaintances without thinking they are “orbiting” you, you’re either neurodiverse or you were raised poorly.

Just being honest. You want this thread to be an echo chamber full of desperate social outcasts blaming everyone else. Just giving you the other side of the coin. Bottom line, they’re not interested. Strangers don’t owe you their time, kindness, chit-chat…or anything for that matter.

“Hey, how’re you doing?”

“I DON’T OWE YOU ANYTHING!!!!”

For people so sure of their social skills they don't seem very good at sizing people up, reading body language, and identifying the social and friendly people who want to chat. It's really not that hard but some people are coming across like annoying puppies who just go up to everyone oblivious to the cues and body language their targets are putting out.

The irony here is that I actually do not care enough about you individually to put that much effort into figuring out if I'm "allowed" to say benign things like "how's it going?" or "oh, which kid is yours?" The world does not revolve around you and I do not care if you are "put out" by a very minimal level of human interaction.

I don't even like interacting with other parents much either but view it as part of the gig. Get over yourself.

Why is it your business who my kid is? Please spare us that you plan to ask two innocuous questions total, period. No. You want to segue into what do you do, where do you all live, you want to try to name drop. You’re desperate for social interaction and want to worm your and your kid’s way into an association with higher status families.

You’re pissed you’re sized up as an interloper and cut off before you can launch.

You social climbers obviously do care, which is why this thread is a hundred pages of you whining about not being able to break into a parent clique at your kid’s school.

Np to the back and forth here. (Actually not true. I asked about the old bay dig above. Still curious about that one. Anyhoo)

You sound insane. Literally not of sound of mind. This is what goes through your head when someone says hi to you?? That is amazing. And hilarious. It’s called exchanging pleasantries. It’s just being a polite human being.

I mean, don’t stop. You are very entertaining and this thread is quickly becoming a new classic
*chef’s kiss*

+1. I hadn't been reading this thread and that comment was the first thing I saw and wow. Completely insane. I can't imagine going through life thinking people asking which kid is there is social climbing. It's just a way to pass the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So we are attending events as mutes in order to people watch and eavesdrop on other people’s interactions…is that what we are doing now? I get going to a school event to support your kids and be involved with what is going on at the school. But I don’t understand the angst directed at people who want to stay on and socialize and casually converse with the “community” that they may one day need to rely on…it’s not just other parents…it’s the teachers and staff. That’s the bizarre tone of the trolls regurgitating the same weak argument throughout this thread.

this thread isn't isolated, the same theme comes up constantly on DCUM; parents whining that they can't use their kids to make a new social circle

No one in this thread wants to "make a new social circle" with parents at school.

People just think it's weird to ignore and refuse to even meet and learn the name of a person you see on a regular basis for many months or years. I agree this is deranged.

I will continue to introduce myself and strike up short conversations with parents who I see regularly in order to get to know the parents in our school and activity communities because I think it is strange and depressing not to do so. If you hate this, maybe home school and put your kid in private 1:1 classes so your family can completely isolate itself? I'm not going to alter my behavior.

You do you. Nobody has to accommodate your advances or reciprocate. If this is happening over and over to you, maybe you're giving off some weird desperate vibes.

I truly have no idea how you function in life refusing to exchange pleasantries with other people.

This, right here, is the problem: many of us DO “exchange pleasantries.” But then…you keep going. Asking. Pushing. You’re nosy. You’re still going.

You know when you have a chatter next to you in an airplane who won’t stop even when you pull out a book or a magazine? That’s you, PP. Come on now, there is a point well beyond “exchanging pleasantries.” Read the room.

+1. They're all so in denial about how nosy, pushy, and abrasive they are. Ma'am you're in your 40s or 50s, if everyone is icing you, it's a YOU problem, not everyone else's problem.

Exactly this. So many triggered people in this thread. I’ve learned to spot a Stage 5 Clinger a mile away. So yes, I will “exchange pleasantries,” but when I’m done, I’m done.

When I’ve been too nice, I’ve had people asking me for favors when we’re not even on a get-together basis. I’ve also had women try to “subtly” sell me their MLM crap. I had one mother within *minutes* of meeting me asking, “You’re the one who does communications for a law school, right? My Bitsy is pre-law at American, and is interested in your school…” asking me for tips and favors literally the first time we met.

Also when I’ve been too nice, the socially awkward/quiet people will cling to me and use me as a crutch and a social director. No, thanks. I did that in my 20s and 30s and I’m over being used by people who tried to use me as a social life preserver.

Your job is "communications"?