Why are some parents so cold and unfriendly?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I think there must be a troll here that is rage baiting people. At least I really hope that there isn’t a real person who is that weird.

People in this area are definitely the least friendly people I have ever been around. When I first moved here, I made a mistake of trying to make small talk at the grocery store because it was so normal to do that where I had lived previously. After a couple of weird looks, I stopped. It makes me sad. It’s easy to get sucked into being judgmental and mean around here because that is the culture.

It is really awkward to be around the same parents frequently and some of them act like they have never met you. Not everyone is like this, but there’s enough of it to create an unfriendly vibe in so many settings. Now that I think about it, some of the coldest people I have met here are white women who grew up in the area.

I’m always taken by surprise when I’m back in NY and people talk to me.

So true. DC has a uniquely mean culture where if you go north or south (or west) people get friendlier and customer service gets better. A lot of people in DC are like "this is just what city people are like" and those of us from other cities are like, oh honey, no.

There are kind people in DC but they are rare enough that when I come across one it takes me a minute to acclimate.

I have heard Silicon Valley has similar culture to DC. I have not spent enough time there to say, but if true, it would be interesting to look at a Venn diagram to see how they overlap demographically.

I am from DC and routinely have random conversations with strangers, make chit chat, including in the grocery store. I’m able to read the room when people aren’t interested in chatting but have not experienced this weird twilight zone of DC being the only place people are unable to be randomly social for a minute or so with a stranger. Blame the transplants, not DC people for this one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I think there must be a troll here that is rage baiting people. At least I really hope that there isn’t a real person who is that weird.

People in this area are definitely the least friendly people I have ever been around. When I first moved here, I made a mistake of trying to make small talk at the grocery store because it was so normal to do that where I had lived previously. After a couple of weird looks, I stopped. It makes me sad. It’s easy to get sucked into being judgmental and mean around here because that is the culture.

It is really awkward to be around the same parents frequently and some of them act like they have never met you. Not everyone is like this, but there’s enough of it to create an unfriendly vibe in so many settings. Now that I think about it, some of the coldest people I have met here are white women who grew up in the area.

I’m always taken by surprise when I’m back in NY and people talk to me.

Yes just like the Seinfeld episode where Jerry doesn't even recognize his neighbor and doesn't let him in the building. NYers and known all over for their outgoing friendly disposition.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I ask about people's jobs because sometimes they're interesting? I'm not likely to ask many questions to most lawyers (no offense, I am one myself), but if you're like a cartographer or an arborist or something? That's cool! I want to hear about that.

I love it that you blackballed social climbing strivers refuse to acknowledge you’re the problem. You’re essentially confessing to being pushy, nosy, probing, invasive, obnoxious, elbowy, creepy and uncouth — but rationalizing it because you’re just some dorky attorney with a gift for the gab trying to tease out quirky things about random parents at your kid’s school!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I ask about people's jobs because sometimes they're interesting? I'm not likely to ask many questions to most lawyers (no offense, I am one myself), but if you're like a cartographer or an arborist or something? That's cool! I want to hear about that.

I love it that you blackballed social climbing strivers refuse to acknowledge you’re the problem. You’re essentially confessing to being pushy, nosy, probing, invasive, obnoxious, elbowy, creepy and uncouth — but rationalizing it because you’re just some dorky attorney with a gift for the gab trying to tease out quirky things about random parents at your kid’s school!

Lolz

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I ask about people's jobs because sometimes they're interesting? I'm not likely to ask many questions to most lawyers (no offense, I am one myself), but if you're like a cartographer or an arborist or something? That's cool! I want to hear about that.

I love it that you blackballed social climbing strivers refuse to acknowledge you’re the problem. You’re essentially confessing to being pushy, nosy, probing, invasive, obnoxious, elbowy, creepy and uncouth — but rationalizing it because you’re just some dorky attorney with a gift for the gab trying to tease out quirky things about random parents at your kid’s school!

I agree with others that this person is likely a troll but I would loooove to know what sort of person they imagine to be so important and interesting that a person saying "what do you do?" or "where do you live?" is a creepy, invasive, obnoxious overstep.

I would actually love to learn that all the super cagey and unfriendly parents at our school secretly work in Congress or for the CIA but I feel pretty confident that most of them are just "dorky attorneys" with limited social skills.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I ask about people's jobs because sometimes they're interesting? I'm not likely to ask many questions to most lawyers (no offense, I am one myself), but if you're like a cartographer or an arborist or something? That's cool! I want to hear about that.

I love it that you blackballed social climbing strivers refuse to acknowledge you’re the problem. You’re essentially confessing to being pushy, nosy, probing, invasive, obnoxious, elbowy, creepy and uncouth — but rationalizing it because you’re just some dorky attorney with a gift for the gab trying to tease out quirky things about random parents at your kid’s school!

I agree with others that this person is likely a troll but I would loooove to know what sort of person they imagine to be so important and interesting that a person saying "what do you do?" or "where do you live?" is a creepy, invasive, obnoxious overstep.

I would actually love to learn that all the super cagey and unfriendly parents at our school secretly work in Congress or for the CIA but I feel pretty confident that most of them are just "dorky attorneys" with limited social skills.

Certainly not a troll and I mean this with total sincerity: I genuinely appreciate that you grubby creeps can not help but double and triple down and confess this thread is not actually about a very brief hi, smile, and nod — which those of us being demonized all knew. You’re at school events trying to interrogate higher born parents like you’re Olivia Benson on Law & Order.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I ask about people's jobs because sometimes they're interesting? I'm not likely to ask many questions to most lawyers (no offense, I am one myself), but if you're like a cartographer or an arborist or something? That's cool! I want to hear about that.

I love it that you blackballed social climbing strivers refuse to acknowledge you’re the problem. You’re essentially confessing to being pushy, nosy, probing, invasive, obnoxious, elbowy, creepy and uncouth — but rationalizing it because you’re just some dorky attorney with a gift for the gab trying to tease out quirky things about random parents at your kid’s school!

I agree with others that this person is likely a troll but I would loooove to know what sort of person they imagine to be so important and interesting that a person saying "what do you do?" or "where do you live?" is a creepy, invasive, obnoxious overstep.

I would actually love to learn that all the super cagey and unfriendly parents at our school secretly work in Congress or for the CIA but I feel pretty confident that most of them are just "dorky attorneys" with limited social skills.

Certainly not a troll and I mean this with total sincerity: I genuinely appreciate that you grubby creeps can not help but double and triple down and confess this thread is not actually about a very brief hi, smile, and nod — which those of us being demonized all knew. You’re at school events trying to interrogate higher born parents like you’re Olivia Benson on Law & Order.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I ask about people's jobs because sometimes they're interesting? I'm not likely to ask many questions to most lawyers (no offense, I am one myself), but if you're like a cartographer or an arborist or something? That's cool! I want to hear about that.

.

I love it that you blackballed social climbing strivers refuse to acknowledge you’re the problem. You’re essentially confessing to being pushy, nosy, probing, invasive, obnoxious, elbowy, creepy and uncouth — but rationalizing it because you’re just some dorky attorney with a gift for the gab trying to tease out quirky things about random parents at your kid’s school!

I agree with others that this person is likely a troll but I would loooove to know what sort of person they imagine to be so important and interesting that a person saying "what do you do?" or "where do you live?" is a creepy, invasive, obnoxious overstep.

I would actually love to learn that all the super cagey and unfriendly parents at our school secretly work in Congress or for the CIA but I feel pretty confident that most of them are just "dorky attorneys" with limited social skills.

Certainly not a troll and I mean this with total sincerity: I genuinely appreciate that you grubby creeps can not help but double and triple down and confess this thread is not actually about a very brief hi, smile, and nod — which those of us being demonized all knew. You’re at school events trying to interrogate higher born parents like you’re Olivia Benson on Law & Order.

Dangit. I have no idea how to embed an image here.

I’m now starting to picture you as an Ignatius J Reilly figure. Ear flap cap. Valve under duress. Hot dog cart. The whole 9 yards.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I ask about people's jobs because sometimes they're interesting? I'm not likely to ask many questions to most lawyers (no offense, I am one myself), but if you're like a cartographer or an arborist or something? That's cool! I want to hear about that.

I love it that you blackballed social climbing strivers refuse to acknowledge you’re the problem. You’re essentially confessing to being pushy, nosy, probing, invasive, obnoxious, elbowy, creepy and uncouth — but rationalizing it because you’re just some dorky attorney with a gift for the gab trying to tease out quirky things about random parents at your kid’s school!

I agree with others that this person is likely a troll but I would loooove to know what sort of person they imagine to be so important and interesting that a person saying "what do you do?" or "where do you live?" is a creepy, invasive, obnoxious overstep.

I would actually love to learn that all the super cagey and unfriendly parents at our school secretly work in Congress or for the CIA but I feel pretty confident that most of them are just "dorky attorneys" with limited social skills.

Certainly not a troll and I mean this with total sincerity: I genuinely appreciate that you grubby creeps can not help but double and triple down and confess this thread is not actually about a very brief hi, smile, and nod — which those of us being demonized all knew. You’re at school events trying to interrogate higher born parents like you’re Olivia Benson on Law & Order.

There are multiple groups being demonized and interrogated here, with variations in between and it’s been going on so long I have to go back and review the OP…so which one do you represent?, feel free to add your special sauce to one of the following menu items:
1. The cold and unfriendly, AKA DC’s finest arrogant clowns 🤡 you ever did see.
2. The normal people with manners and first-class home training.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I ask about people's jobs because sometimes they're interesting? I'm not likely to ask many questions to most lawyers (no offense, I am one myself), but if you're like a cartographer or an arborist or something? That's cool! I want to hear about that.

I love it that you blackballed social climbing strivers refuse to acknowledge you’re the problem. You’re essentially confessing to being pushy, nosy, probing, invasive, obnoxious, elbowy, creepy and uncouth — but rationalizing it because you’re just some dorky attorney with a gift for the gab trying to tease out quirky things about random parents at your kid’s school!

I agree with others that this person is likely a troll but I would loooove to know what sort of person they imagine to be so important and interesting that a person saying "what do you do?" or "where do you live?" is a creepy, invasive, obnoxious overstep.

I would actually love to learn that all the super cagey and unfriendly parents at our school secretly work in Congress or for the CIA but I feel pretty confident that most of them are just "dorky attorneys" with limited social skills.

Certainly not a troll and I mean this with total sincerity: I genuinely appreciate that you grubby creeps can not help but double and triple down and confess this thread is not actually about a very brief hi, smile, and nod — which those of us being demonized all knew. You’re at school events trying to interrogate higher born parents like you’re Olivia Benson on Law & Order.

You must be seriously repelling if you can’t find anyone to talk to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I ask about people's jobs because sometimes they're interesting? I'm not likely to ask many questions to most lawyers (no offense, I am one myself), but if you're like a cartographer or an arborist or something? That's cool! I want to hear about that.

I love it that you blackballed social climbing strivers refuse to acknowledge you’re the problem. You’re essentially confessing to being pushy, nosy, probing, invasive, obnoxious, elbowy, creepy and uncouth — but rationalizing it because you’re just some dorky attorney with a gift for the gab trying to tease out quirky things about random parents at your kid’s school!

I agree with others that this person is likely a troll but I would loooove to know what sort of person they imagine to be so important and interesting that a person saying "what do you do?" or "where do you live?" is a creepy, invasive, obnoxious overstep.

I would actually love to learn that all the super cagey and unfriendly parents at our school secretly work in Congress or for the CIA but I feel pretty confident that most of them are just "dorky attorneys" with limited social skills.

Certainly not a troll and I mean this with total sincerity: I genuinely appreciate that you grubby creeps can not help but double and triple down and confess this thread is not actually about a very brief hi, smile, and nod — which those of us being demonized all knew. You’re at school events trying to interrogate higher born parents like you’re Olivia Benson on Law & Order.

You are not in touch with reality. Those aren't good genes are you working with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I think there must be a troll here that is rage baiting people. At least I really hope that there isn’t a real person who is that weird.

People in this area are definitely the least friendly people I have ever been around. When I first moved here, I made a mistake of trying to make small talk at the grocery store because it was so normal to do that where I had lived previously. After a couple of weird looks, I stopped. It makes me sad. It’s easy to get sucked into being judgmental and mean around here because that is the culture.

It is really awkward to be around the same parents frequently and some of them act like they have never met you. Not everyone is like this, but there’s enough of it to create an unfriendly vibe in so many settings. Now that I think about it, some of the coldest people I have met here are white women who grew up in the area.

I’m always taken by surprise when I’m back in NY and people talk to me.

So true. DC has a uniquely mean culture where if you go north or south (or west) people get friendlier and customer service gets better. A lot of people in DC are like "this is just what city people are like" and those of us from other cities are like, oh honey, no.

There are kind people in DC but they are rare enough that when I come across one it takes me a minute to acclimate.

I have heard Silicon Valley has similar culture to DC. I have not spent enough time there to say, but if true, it would be interesting to look at a Venn diagram to see how they overlap demographically.

I am from DC and routinely have random conversations with strangers, make chit chat, including in the grocery store. I’m able to read the room when people aren’t interested in chatting but have not experienced this weird twilight zone of DC being the only place people are unable to be randomly social for a minute or so with a stranger. Blame the transplants, not DC people for this one.

+1

I grew up here as well and I have no problem chatting with random cashiers or people waiting in line at the post office etc. In fact, my personal experience is that most DC natives love to banter and chat and laugh in public with strangers. Maybe it’s a class thing because I am not rich and I have no problem talking to black people so maybe that’s why these transplants don’t get it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I think there must be a troll here that is rage baiting people. At least I really hope that there isn’t a real person who is that weird.

People in this area are definitely the least friendly people I have ever been around. When I first moved here, I made a mistake of trying to make small talk at the grocery store because it was so normal to do that where I had lived previously. After a couple of weird looks, I stopped. It makes me sad. It’s easy to get sucked into being judgmental and mean around here because that is the culture.

It is really awkward to be around the same parents frequently and some of them act like they have never met you. Not everyone is like this, but there’s enough of it to create an unfriendly vibe in so many settings. Now that I think about it, some of the coldest people I have met here are white women who grew up in the area.

I’m always taken by surprise when I’m back in NY and people talk to me.

So true. DC has a uniquely mean culture where if you go north or south (or west) people get friendlier and customer service gets better. A lot of people in DC are like "this is just what city people are like" and those of us from other cities are like, oh honey, no.

There are kind people in DC but they are rare enough that when I come across one it takes me a minute to acclimate.

I have heard Silicon Valley has similar culture to DC. I have not spent enough time there to say, but if true, it would be interesting to look at a Venn diagram to see how they overlap demographically.

I am from DC and routinely have random conversations with strangers, make chit chat, including in the grocery store. I’m able to read the room when people aren’t interested in chatting but have not experienced this weird twilight zone of DC being the only place people are unable to be randomly social for a minute or so with a stranger. Blame the transplants, not DC people for this one.

+1

I grew up here as well and I have no problem chatting with random cashiers or people waiting in line at the post office etc. In fact, my personal experience is that most DC natives love to banter and chat and laugh in public with strangers. Maybe it’s a class thing because I am not rich and I have no problem talking to black people so maybe that’s why these transplants don’t get it.

Yeah, it's always the transplants. DMV natives tend to be pretty chill and not status obsessed.

[Anonymous]

Have not read the whole thread, but, sorry, most times I am just so exhausted. I am an introvert who is also a teacher and being “on”
All day with the kids and my colleagues, and having to be happy and cheerful Mrs ______ when I am out in the community just DRAINS me like you would not believe. Sometimes I must go to school events for my older kids when I am just spent and wold prefer to be home, and in order to make it through, I just put in my mental invisibility cloak and do what I have to do to get through it and then go home.

[Anonymous]

All the yapping outcasts in this thread ought to make a group chat and leave the rest of us alone.