Why are some parents so cold and unfriendly?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:1. I've got nothing left. I spent all day having to talk to people.
2. I'm not there to chat with you. You are from the South or Midwest and think you're being friendly. I'm from NY and think you're like an annoying gnat - inconsequential and irrelevant. I'm there to see my kid, meet with teachers, etc.

Actually, you’re just rude.

[Anonymous]

In this area, it’s all snobbery. They’ve looked you up in the directory beforehand, don’t recognize you from their club and therefore know you’re not someone they need to know. Wise not to give any accidentally friendly signals. And they ideally don’t want their kids being friendly with yours.

[Anonymous]

I am an introverted person who hates small talk. I don't think I have actually snubbed anyone, if someone approaches me I will engage. But I will not initiate it or keep the convo going. It's draining to me to speak to strangers. It's not personal.

Also my youngest kid is in their final year at their elementary school and I don't need or want more connections there. I've already mentally moved on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. I've got nothing left. I spent all day having to talk to people.
2. I'm not there to chat with you. You are from the South or Midwest and think you're being friendly. I'm from NY and think you're like an annoying gnat - inconsequential and irrelevant. I'm there to see my kid, meet with teachers, etc.

Seeing other human beings as inconsequential actually makes you a horrible one. Hope this helps!

And get over yourself with the "I'm from New York crap". My husband is a born and bread New Yorker and nice to people. You're just an ahole.

Hah, yes, my father is a New Yorker and tries to make friends with everyone.

[Anonymous]

My kids are 20 and 15 and the only time this has ever happened to me was during Parent Visitation Day, with another parent who apparently did not want to talk. We were the only two people observing the class, so I did try to chat a bit. I was not offended - she could have been tired, ill or had a really bad day. I suspect she was very shy. But it didn't cross my mind to think her impolite. If anything, I blamed myself for being too pushy.

If this is happening multiple times to you, OP, you might be the problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am an introverted person who hates small talk. I don't think I have actually snubbed anyone, if someone approaches me I will engage. But I will not initiate it or keep the convo going. It's draining to me to speak to strangers. It's not personal.

Also my youngest kid is in their final year at their elementary school and I don't need or want more connections there. I've already mentally moved on.

This is me. I'll be pleasant, but if the conversation fades, I'm not going to try to keep it going. Third kid, although way beyond elementary school.

[Anonymous]

I have learned not to take this personally but I definitely hear you OP. I am from a more small talk oriented part of the country and have very friendly parents who taught me certain pleasantries are part of good manners. I am big into holding the door for people, smiling and saying hello if I know some one (seems basic but a lot of people don't do this), and trying to be friendly and helpful because I enjoy these casual social interactions as part of being human and want to teach this to my kids. Not everyone feels this way though.

I do think some people are overwhelmed by their daily lives and thus withdrawn. Especially if it's a sport practice where maybe they were planning to read or do emails, they may not want to get into a convo they have to get out of.

Some people are shy.

Some people are cliquish and don't want "outsiders" in their group. I have definitely encountered these people and I am sort of glad they show me who they are! Pass.

If you keep making the first move, you will find some takers!

[Anonymous]

Totally agree. It’s DC area wierdness - this antisocial behavior has been somehow normalized. Their loss. All I can say is, there are lots of parents who are NOT this way. If you keep being warm and friendly, you will eventually connect with similar people.

[Anonymous]

I always assume someone else is going through something I know nothing about. Maybe they are stressed about their job, maybe their dog just died, maybe a million other little things. Is this always the case? No, but I was taught that the world and other people aren’t centered around me. I can’t change anyone else’s behavior but I can change how I view them and try to assume they are just having a hard time and it’s not personal to me

[Anonymous]

I think they’re ordinary

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. I've got nothing left. I spent all day having to talk to people.
2. I'm not there to chat with you. You are from the South or Midwest and think you're being friendly. I'm from NY and think you're like an annoying gnat - inconsequential and irrelevant. I'm there to see my kid, meet with teachers, etc.

Seeing other human beings as inconsequential actually makes you a horrible one. Hope this helps!

And get over yourself with the "I'm from New York crap". My husband is a born and bread New Yorker and nice to people. You're just an ahole.

I don't really care what you think of me. That's what I mean by inconsequential. Your opinions don't matter to me. Because I'm not at the school to make friends with you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:1. I've got nothing left. I spent all day having to talk to people.
2. I'm not there to chat with you. You are from the South or Midwest and think you're being friendly. I'm from NY and think you're like an annoying gnat - inconsequential and irrelevant. I'm there to see my kid, meet with teachers, etc.

Nope. I’m from NY and was raised with manners and decency. Antisocial behavior was never modeled to me. And, I would never dream of calling another human inconsequential or irrelevant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. I've got nothing left. I spent all day having to talk to people.
2. I'm not there to chat with you. You are from the South or Midwest and think you're being friendly. I'm from NY and think you're like an annoying gnat - inconsequential and irrelevant. I'm there to see my kid, meet with teachers, etc.

Seeing other human beings as inconsequential actually makes you a horrible one. Hope this helps!

And get over yourself with the "I'm from New York crap". My husband is a born and bread New Yorker and nice to people. You're just an ahole.

I don't really care what you think of me. That's what I mean by inconsequential. Your opinions don't matter to me. Because I'm not at the school to make friends with you.

You’re a sick POS

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You don’t have the status or the look or whatever where they would deign to make small talk with you. Or they’re really socially awkward and don’t know how to act in public. Either way, f ‘em.

In this area it’s almost always no. 1.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You don’t have the status or the look or whatever where they would deign to make small talk with you. Or they’re really socially awkward and don’t know how to act in public. Either way, f ‘em.

Wut you talking about. The women are unattractive in dc