Po-tay-to, po-tah-to. There is a lot of overlap between a man’s version of a companion and a nursemaid. |
As long as you're open about not wanting to re-marry or co-habilitate, and women are still willing, why not dating? The posters above were discussing men marrying after 60. I presume you are still younger (and thus your dating options are open for now). But don't wait too long till you're 60: these well-off dcurbanmom types your are dating in theirs current late 30s-40s would be all remarried by the time you hit retirement age. You will be dealing with younger predatory women or LMC older women who look for support themselves in their late 50s. I am early 40s and well-off (income of 300K+, investments, retirement, own house etc)). I stop communicating with any first and second dates who tell they are not interested in marriage. For me marriage is important and nothing can provide such stability to both man and woman when it's a true partnership. I had overall a happy marriage until my exH got nuts in his 50s with mid-life crisis. He still regrets his indiscretions and bitter over me filing for divorce. But I do want to remarry and have a stability of a true companionship, a larger joint income (2 joint incomes is better than 1 single, even when it's high), more opportunities to travel together, live that "couple life" with not just single friends but couple friends and possibly adopting a child in late 40s. |
Why would any woman want companionship from a man when there are tons of women for this role? And women don't want to be used for sex. Doesn't seem like a win for them and plenty of opportunity for exploitation from men or more work with the duds. |
Well, my dad found two other women to marry him...I can understand my mom, she was young and gullible when they got married, but mature, experienced women married him too. |
Don’t worry PP, I’ll date you when you’re 60. Attractive successful female, mid 40s, quite upfront about not marrying. |
We look for a true companionship but in most cases we never remarry. It doesn't hurt to date and to look for "the one", right? |
40 and 60 is a very large age gap, yaki! That's too old for me, I disregard all 60+ plenty of mid 40s men contacting me |
I’m 47 and dating. I’ve found there are two types- one wants the one night stand/conquest/is reliving their youth: the other wants to move in and be taken care of. I’m not interested in either, so remain single and happy. |
Presumably when he's 60, you will be 60, too. 60+ men still think they are napoleons, and they would rather date a 40-50 y.o.woman who's after their money than a well-off 60 y.o. I have a friend who's a former female pilot, she's insanely wealthy and looks like Demi Moore. She says 60+ age for a woman is a big problem on dating apps, all men want younger |
I'm that PP. Not younger - I'm 58. I've dated women late 40s through early 60s. I don't see the point of marriage now. I already have all the kids I'm going to have. As I am divorced and I know that second marriages usually don't last, I'm skeptical of the argument that remarrying would provide stability. I don't want to cohabit, either - I don't need a housekeeper, and my LTR doesn't have to care if my house isn't exactly as clean and tidy as she might like because she doesn't live there. As for everyone who thinks men my age are looking for a nursemaid, I'm squatting and deadlifting ~350lbs. My dad is 92 and still going strong. You'll need a nursemaid before I do. |
There are millions of single women doing OLD who want sex and companionship from men but you do you. |
Marriage does provide a higher joint income, more socialization with your partner, more doing things together etc. Of course, this implies you need a partner who is desirable for you enough to WANT that person in your kitchen every day. I did enjoy having family dinners every day, going out every weekend, taking an occasional walk in a park after work, making future plans together and many other things that people who are married and live together can do. I have only one child and thus I still want a second one (if I am lucky to find a man who is on the same page with me about it) |
My mom married at 85 to an 85 year old guy. They were both very active. Now she's ill and he's taking care of her. A good friend just passed away at 93. His wife was 5 years younger, and she died 3 years ago. The last 10 years of her life he was taking care of her. Unlike the selfish entitled women on this forum, I don't mind marrying a slightly younger woman and taking care of her when she's old. Unless she's selfish and entitled. |
If you are not a selfish dud ex-husband and not entitled, you should be fine remarrying to a nice woman before your 60s. It's nice just not to be alone, and to live with someone who is your best friend and companion, in my view. I don't worry about this "second marriages don't last" thing. My marriage was first for me and second for my exH. He cheated and checked out, but not me. I still don't regret my first marriage as I was truly happy for 10 years and have my child. Even my second marriage lasts 10-15 years, I would consider it as success as long as I was happy in it for an extend period of time, and not miserable. Financial things can be taken care of in second marriages to protect kids, premarital assets etc. |
I can do all the "socialization" and "doing things together" stuff without marrying or cohabiting. Plenty of walks in the park etc. As for the "higher joint income", I don't need it. I don't want a dollar of her money. Moreover, marriage exposes my income and assets to significant risk. Second marriages often fail, at which point you have the trouble and expense of un-commingling your joint assets. Thus from a financial point of view, remarriage has much more downside than upside potential. |