Would you be okay with your wife visiting her male best friend

[Anonymous]

It's like a slumber party? Watching rom-coms in jammies over wine and gossip?

[Anonymous]

Definitely weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have you told her it makes you uncomfortable? I always ask my DH if he’s okay with it before I do something like this. If he ever said he wasn’t okay with it, I wouldn’t go. (He also isn’t the least bit controlling, so if he said he didn’t like it it would be serious). I value my relationship with my husband over my friend.

Can you compromise and do a 3 day weekend together to see the friend? You use 1 vacation day, you both are present, she sees her friend.

Yes, I have told her it makes me uncomfortable. She says I'm being silly because they have been friends since childhood and it's no different than if she was staying with one of her girlfriends. And yes my daughter is mine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have you told her it makes you uncomfortable? I always ask my DH if he’s okay with it before I do something like this. If he ever said he wasn’t okay with it, I wouldn’t go. (He also isn’t the least bit controlling, so if he said he didn’t like it it would be serious). I value my relationship with my husband over my friend.

Can you compromise and do a 3 day weekend together to see the friend? You use 1 vacation day, you both are present, she sees her friend.

Yes, I have told her it makes me uncomfortable. She says I'm being silly because they have been friends since childhood and it's no different than if she was staying with one of her girlfriends. And yes my daughter is mine.

Well this doesn't help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For a week long out of state trip, staying out of state and bringing your toddler with her?

Why is she taking the kid? Is she a stay at home mom? Why doesn't the friend come visit at your house?

[Anonymous]

Is she going to visit him specifically or does he just live at destination? I have a best male friend in LA, which is a big destination in its own right. When I’m in CA for events, I visit my friend but I haven’t gone to LA just to visit him. I’ll meet for dinner if I’m town. Is that the situation or she’s going to visit/stay with him?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is she going to visit him specifically or does he just live at destination? I have a best male friend in LA, which is a big destination in its own right. When I’m in CA for events, I visit my friend but I haven’t gone to LA just to visit him. I’ll meet for dinner if I’m town. Is that the situation or she’s going to visit/stay with him?

She's going to visit him specifically. She's a SAHM. As for why he's not coming out here she wants to see some sites out west and he's going to show her around/

[Anonymous]

I trust my DH and he trusts me so this would not be an issue for me. I could not be married to someone I didn’t fully trust.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I trust my DH and he trusts me so this would not be an issue for me. I could not be married to someone I didn’t fully trust.

Then propose just this to him and then follow through with it. Let us know how it goes.

[Anonymous]

I’m a woman and have a very very close friend from middle school who is a male and is straight. He’s just a friend we chat about our dumb Cheesecake Factory outings and things we did haha we don’t visit each other but we keep in touch a lot. My husband knows him but not closely. Just know it’s possible to just be friends we talk about relationships same as my girl friends and there never was or will be anything between us. And my other very awesome friend is gay haha we just kinda clicked and grew up together all three of us.

[Anonymous]

No that's crazy. I'm a woman abs I would assume she wad cheating

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I trust my DH and he trusts me so this would not be an issue for me. I could not be married to someone I didn’t fully trust.

Then propose just this to him and then follow through with it. Let us know how it goes.

+1 I trust my DH and he trusts me but going for a week to visit a guy friend with or without a toddler would get his attention in a not good way. Same if he were going to meet a gal friend for a week. I’d wonder WTF!

[Anonymous]

My DH has a best friend that is a very attractive female. At first, before I knew their dynamic I was a little jealous. I asked him if he had ever hooked up with her. He said she was a great friend, but that he wouldn’t touch her any intimate way with a ten foot pole. He shared her not great past with guys and all of the associated drama. DH hates drama, she isn’t his type at all, he needs more than a “fling” type situation to be intimate with someone, and as he eloquently stated “I don’t want an STD let alone several”. Given their relationship I would be fine with him spending a week with her but there would never be a need for that to happen.

I think you know your wife better than we do. Do you have anything to worry about?

[Anonymous]

You really need to go with your gut on this, OP. We cannot answer this for you: as you can see, some have childhood friends of the opposite sex whom they look upon as siblings.

[Anonymous]

I had a male neighbor/best friend I was inseparable from as kids into our 20s. Our families moved and he works overseas so I haven’t seen him for years. But if I had the chance to see him - and my DH didn’t have to watch the preschooler - I think my DH would be all for it! When we were about 15 my friend told me something like “I wish I could get laid” and I rolled my eyes at him…that’s the most “romantic” it ever got. He’s divorced with no kids but, despite him being handsome, he’s always been firmly in the friend zone and I can’t imagine anything that would change that. I started dating DH quite young (late teens) and I remember how much my friend hit it off with him the first time they met - it was definitely a good sign for me that DH was so comfortable with my long established male friendship. That said, he has a pretty large number of long time female friends so that helps. The trust is there.