Q re: the wisdom behind FERPA

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The annoyance comes from the fact that everyone acts like kids turn into adults at midnight the day they turn 18. They don't.

Oh yes they do. Legally speaking.

+1 and parents need to do more to get their children ready for that legal deadline. They don’t even see how much coddling they’re doing.

Oh so you can program humans to be ready for things at certain times? I really need to program my kids to be able to read by age 6. If not, what have I been doing with them? Same with my preschooler. He needs to ramp up the potty training so he will be full trained by age 2 and a half when the preschool says so. His bladder just needs to get with the program!

If your child isn’t ready to be an adult managing their own higher ed at 18, don’t bankroll it. Make them wait until adulthood finds your child. But stop blaming the college. It’s not their job to enable your dysfunction.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had to put a FERPA restriction on because they made student addresses publicly available online and my parent had several death threats against them.

So yeah, hate it all you want, but I'm sure there are a lot of examples of protecting people who don't want their address/ information out there.

Yikes. This seems like an extreme example (involving death threats), buy point is taken. BTW, even without FERPA, why in the world would the university make the student addresses publicly available without permission? I do not understand that -- public school systems (k-12) seem to require permission before your address is published, for example, in a directory.

[Anonymous]

My college roommate was escaping her abusive stepfather. She had been homeless at least the year before college and he didn’t even know where she was going to school. Lived in terror he would figure out where she had enrolled and call the school and get information about where she lived etc.

[Anonymous]

Maybe this crap was fine when college cost 500 bucks a semester but very few teens are coughing up 100% of $15,000 to $40,000 cash a semester without parental help.

It's bullsh**.

I just posted this in another thread, our son ended up failing out of university. We'd find out many months later the warns signs were VERY obvious to the university. He was not attending class, he was caught with booze in his room by campus police, he was even fired from his campus job! We knew none of this while they continued to cash our $15,000 checks each semester!

Lesson learned. Make your child sign the disclosure release right after they're admitted as a 12th grader. They'll have no idea what they're signing, so just have them do it and act like it's normal. The university does not care about you, they only care about cashing your checks and freezing you out of your child's life.

[Anonymous]

This, like so many laws, originally had a reasonable, limited, policy goal, and has morphed over time, through a combination of the law of unintended consequences and expansive reading by the colleges.

I’m sure the college administrators originally started out interpreting the law more narrowly, and then the lawyers became more cautious. At some point along the way, it occurred to the colleges that this was a wonderful mechanism for avoiding accountability on the part of the school to parents and/or avoiding liability for not keeping parents informed about what’s going on with their children. It’s clear from the “professor” posting here. Heaven forbid they actually have to be responsive to the people paying the bills.

And, yes, if your kid isn’t able to handle the college experience, you can refuse to pay for it. The problem is that, due to FERPA, you have no way of knowing that is the case until the train is completely off the tracks. You’ve wasted your $$, & the kid has ruined their record.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe this crap was fine when college cost 500 bucks a semester but very few teens are coughing up 100% of $15,000 to $40,000 cash a semester without parental help.

It's bullsh**.

I just posted this in another thread, our son ended up failing out of university. We'd find out many months later the warns signs were VERY obvious to the university. He was not attending class, he was caught with booze in his room by campus police, he was even fired from his campus job! We knew none of this while they continued to cash our $15,000 checks each semester!

Lesson learned. Make your child sign the disclosure release right after they're admitted as a 12th grader. They'll have no idea what they're signing, so just have them do it and act like it's normal. The university does not care about you, they only care about cashing your checks and freezing you out of your child's life.

Oh, and your child told you none of it? But that’s the school’s fault?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This, like so many laws, originally had a reasonable, limited, policy goal, and has morphed over time, through a combination of the law of unintended consequences and expansive reading by the colleges.

I’m sure the college administrators originally started out interpreting the law more narrowly, and then the lawyers became more cautious. At some point along the way, it occurred to the colleges that this was a wonderful mechanism for avoiding accountability on the part of the school to parents and/or avoiding liability for not keeping parents informed about what’s going on with their children. It’s clear from the “professor” posting here. Heaven forbid they actually have to be responsive to the people paying the bills.

And, yes, if your kid isn’t able to handle the college experience, you can refuse to pay for it. The problem is that, due to FERPA, you have no way of knowing that is the case until the train is completely off the tracks. You’ve wasted your $$, & the kid has ruined their record.

Bingo. University administrators are not your child’s or your friends. They are often monsters who cover up rapes, decades of sexual assaults and really only care about looting the university coffers and retiring with a golden parachute.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This, like so many laws, originally had a reasonable, limited, policy goal, and has morphed over time, through a combination of the law of unintended consequences and expansive reading by the colleges.

I’m sure the college administrators originally started out interpreting the law more narrowly, and then the lawyers became more cautious. At some point along the way, it occurred to the colleges that this was a wonderful mechanism for avoiding accountability on the part of the school to parents and/or avoiding liability for not keeping parents informed about what’s going on with their children. It’s clear from the “professor” posting here. Heaven forbid they actually have to be responsive to the people paying the bills.

And, yes, if your kid isn’t able to handle the college experience, you can refuse to pay for it. The problem is that, due to FERPA, you have no way of knowing that is the case until the train is completely off the tracks. You’ve wasted your $$, & the kid has ruined their record.

Bingo. University administrators are not your child’s or your friends. They are often monsters who cover up rapes, decades of sexual assaults and really only care about looting the university coffers and retiring with a golden parachute.

And they do all this from a pizza parlor basement, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe this crap was fine when college cost 500 bucks a semester but very few teens are coughing up 100% of $15,000 to $40,000 cash a semester without parental help.

It's bullsh**.

I just posted this in another thread, our son ended up failing out of university. We'd find out many months later the warns signs were VERY obvious to the university. He was not attending class, he was caught with booze in his room by campus police, he was even fired from his campus job! We knew none of this while they continued to cash our $15,000 checks each semester!

Lesson learned. Make your child sign the disclosure release right after they're admitted as a 12th grader. They'll have no idea what they're signing, so just have them do it and act like it's normal. The university does not care about you, they only care about cashing your checks and freezing you out of your child's life.

+1000 This!

This anecdote happens more often that you'd think. And for the "professors" and college admin "shills" posting here defending "this crap", you're hiding behind an archaic law in a bid to preserve revenue and help your job security, but with no accountability whatsoever. That's isn't the real-world and especially not at current costs, find a different line of work. No one cares about 'pizza parlor basement' politics or student-parent communication when it comes to this. In no other aspect of your life would you allow someone to enthusiastically and swiftly cash your checks for thousands of $s regularly but won't allow any questions whatsoever about the product from the payor, that's a product that shouldn't be purchased and needs to go under.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In no other aspect of your life would you allow someone to enthusiastically and swiftly cash your checks for thousands of $s regularly but won't allow any questions whatsoever about the product from the payor, that's a product that shouldn't be purchased and needs to go under.

Sorry, but this is bullshit.

Any contract signed by an 18 year old is their responsibility, regardless of where they get the money. Kiddo buys a car with your money the dealer won't talk to you about it. Same for kiddos bank account or credit card, even if it is money from you. Certainly anything medical. You might not "allow" it with an auto or real estate purchase, but this time you did, so it is on you. Don't like it, don't pay.

If you can't trust your kid, maybe you shouldn't anyway.

This entire thread has revealed a lot about certain methods of parenting that the posters must have been unaware would reveal. Astounding.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you’re more of a helicopter parent than you realize. I’m guessing you’re paying for all or most of college and that’s why you feel entitled?

I graduated from college in the mid-aughts, and I was a true adult. I paid my own tuition and rent with money I made working (attended a very cheap in-state, probably one of the last places in America where this is still possible without major loans or grants). Nothing about college was any of my parents’ business and they certainly had no entitlement to information from the school.

Maybe instead of worrying so much about the fact that FERPA recognizes that your children are adults, you should worry more about the fact that you do not.

And I get it. Since you have the wealth to pay for college, the system puts you in this role of still being “daddy” for check-writing purposes. But if your wealth has, to date, emotionally stunted your children to the point that you really do not believe they are independent and autonomous adults (clearly happens, see the threads about college freshman who don’t even have their own checking accounts) maybe you should ask them to take a gap year and come back when they are truly adults.

I don't think you learned much in college. You don't seem to realize that the chip on your shoulder is blocking your view of most kids' college experiences. Most kids have parental help paying for college expenses. It is not unreasonable for a parent to want information about the outcomes related to those expenses. My parents paid 100% of my tuition, room and board, expenses and spending money while I was in college. Of course I would not begrudge them the ability to know how I was doing with that support. When you mature perhaps you'll understand more about things like this.

I don’t have a chip on my shoulder at all, why would I have a chip about being a true adult when I was, in fact, an adult?

And of course “most kids” do not have rich parents bankrolling the college experience for them. That’s your DCUM bubble.

Weird. We have 5 kids who have just graduated college or are in college now. Of the hundreds of people those 5 kids are friends with I cannot think of a single one who isn't getting some sort of financial assistance from their parents. That isn't a DCUM bubble, it is a fact.

It is more normative for a child to have parental financial support paying for college than it is to be fully responsible for the payment oneself. According to Sallie Mae only 34% of students borrow money, and that borrowed money accounts for only 13% of their total expenditures. In other words, the child paying 100% of college expenses him/herself is the outlier.

Please do yourself and the rest of us a world of good by educating yourself before you post. When you post such foolishness you make yourself look bad and you bring down the rest of us with you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This, like so many laws, originally had a reasonable, limited, policy goal, and has morphed over time, through a combination of the law of unintended consequences and expansive reading by the colleges.

I’m sure the college administrators originally started out interpreting the law more narrowly, and then the lawyers became more cautious. At some point along the way, it occurred to the colleges that this was a wonderful mechanism for avoiding accountability on the part of the school to parents and/or avoiding liability for not keeping parents informed about what’s going on with their children. It’s clear from the “professor” posting here. Heaven forbid they actually have to be responsive to the people paying the bills.

And, yes, if your kid isn’t able to handle the college experience, you can refuse to pay for it. The problem is that, due to FERPA, you have no way of knowing that is the case until the train is completely off the tracks. You’ve wasted your $$, & the kid has ruined their record.

Bingo. University administrators are not your child’s or your friends. They are often monsters who cover up rapes, decades of sexual assaults and really only care about looting the university coffers and retiring with a golden parachute.

And they do all this from a pizza parlor basement, right?

Why don’t you Google Dr Nassar MSU and Dr Anderson UM. Among all the other athletic department coverups at basically every D1 university.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This, like so many laws, originally had a reasonable, limited, policy goal, and has morphed over time, through a combination of the law of unintended consequences and expansive reading by the colleges.

I’m sure the college administrators originally started out interpreting the law more narrowly, and then the lawyers became more cautious. At some point along the way, it occurred to the colleges that this was a wonderful mechanism for avoiding accountability on the part of the school to parents and/or avoiding liability for not keeping parents informed about what’s going on with their children. It’s clear from the “professor” posting here. Heaven forbid they actually have to be responsive to the people paying the bills.

And, yes, if your kid isn’t able to handle the college experience, you can refuse to pay for it. The problem is that, due to FERPA, you have no way of knowing that is the case until the train is completely off the tracks. You’ve wasted your $$, & the kid has ruined their record.

Bingo. University administrators are not your child’s or your friends. They are often monsters who cover up rapes, decades of sexual assaults and really only care about looting the university coffers and retiring with a golden parachute.

And they do all this from a pizza parlor basement, right?

Why don’t you Google Dr Nassar MSU and Dr Anderson UM. Among all the other athletic department coverups at basically every D1 university.

Why don't you define "often" for me please.

After that show evidence of " basically every D1 university. "

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you’re more of a helicopter parent than you realize. I’m guessing you’re paying for all or most of college and that’s why you feel entitled?

I graduated from college in the mid-aughts, and I was a true adult. I paid my own tuition and rent with money I made working (attended a very cheap in-state, probably one of the last places in America where this is still possible without major loans or grants). Nothing about college was any of my parents’ business and they certainly had no entitlement to information from the school.

Maybe instead of worrying so much about the fact that FERPA recognizes that your children are adults, you should worry more about the fact that you do not.

And I get it. Since you have the wealth to pay for college, the system puts you in this role of still being “daddy” for check-writing purposes. But if your wealth has, to date, emotionally stunted your children to the point that you really do not believe they are independent and autonomous adults (clearly happens, see the threads about college freshman who don’t even have their own checking accounts) maybe you should ask them to take a gap year and come back when they are truly adults.

I don't think you learned much in college. You don't seem to realize that the chip on your shoulder is blocking your view of most kids' college experiences. Most kids have parental help paying for college expenses. It is not unreasonable for a parent to want information about the outcomes related to those expenses. My parents paid 100% of my tuition, room and board, expenses and spending money while I was in college. Of course I would not begrudge them the ability to know how I was doing with that support. When you mature perhaps you'll understand more about things like this.

I don’t have a chip on my shoulder at all, why would I have a chip about being a true adult when I was, in fact, an adult?

And of course “most kids” do not have rich parents bankrolling the college experience for them. That’s your DCUM bubble.

Weird. We have 5 kids who have just graduated college or are in college now. Of the hundreds of people those 5 kids are friends with I cannot think of a single one who isn't getting some sort of financial assistance from their parents. That isn't a DCUM bubble, it is a fact.

It is more normative for a child to have parental financial support paying for college than it is to be fully responsible for the payment oneself. According to Sallie Mae only 34% of students borrow money, and that borrowed money accounts for only 13% of their total expenditures. In other words, the child paying 100% of college expenses him/herself is the outlier.

Please do yourself and the rest of us a world of good by educating yourself before you post. When you post such foolishness you make yourself look bad and you bring down the rest of us with you.

You realize that kids without rich parents get aid right

Jesus you don’t even understand what the data you’re citing to means and then you tell me to educate me

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you’re more of a helicopter parent than you realize. I’m guessing you’re paying for all or most of college and that’s why you feel entitled?

I graduated from college in the mid-aughts, and I was a true adult. I paid my own tuition and rent with money I made working (attended a very cheap in-state, probably one of the last places in America where this is still possible without major loans or grants). Nothing about college was any of my parents’ business and they certainly had no entitlement to information from the school.

Maybe instead of worrying so much about the fact that FERPA recognizes that your children are adults, you should worry more about the fact that you do not.

And I get it. Since you have the wealth to pay for college, the system puts you in this role of still being “daddy” for check-writing purposes. But if your wealth has, to date, emotionally stunted your children to the point that you really do not believe they are independent and autonomous adults (clearly happens, see the threads about college freshman who don’t even have their own checking accounts) maybe you should ask them to take a gap year and come back when they are truly adults.

I don't think you learned much in college. You don't seem to realize that the chip on your shoulder is blocking your view of most kids' college experiences. Most kids have parental help paying for college expenses. It is not unreasonable for a parent to want information about the outcomes related to those expenses. My parents paid 100% of my tuition, room and board, expenses and spending money while I was in college. Of course I would not begrudge them the ability to know how I was doing with that support. When you mature perhaps you'll understand more about things like this.

I don’t have a chip on my shoulder at all, why would I have a chip about being a true adult when I was, in fact, an adult?

And of course “most kids” do not have rich parents bankrolling the college experience for them. That’s your DCUM bubble.

Weird. We have 5 kids who have just graduated college or are in college now. Of the hundreds of people those 5 kids are friends with I cannot think of a single one who isn't getting some sort of financial assistance from their parents. That isn't a DCUM bubble, it is a fact.

It is more normative for a child to have parental financial support paying for college than it is to be fully responsible for the payment oneself. According to Sallie Mae only 34% of students borrow money, and that borrowed money accounts for only 13% of their total expenditures. In other words, the child paying 100% of college expenses him/herself is the outlier.

Please do yourself and the rest of us a world of good by educating yourself before you post. When you post such foolishness you make yourself look bad and you bring down the rest of us with you.

You realize that kids without rich parents get aid right

Jesus you don’t even understand what the data you’re citing to means and then you tell me to educate me

Sweetie, stay on track. You were saying that "most kids" don't get financial support for college from their parents. I disputed that and used a citation from Sallie Mae. You're beaten and now you're off on another tack because you don't want to give up. That's okay. You're immature and ignorant. Stay that way. We don't need you around at all. I am sure you hear that all the time. Bye bye.