Q re: the wisdom behind FERPA

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Three years after my oldest started college, I have seen from the parents' FB page that the ones most insistent on FERPA waivers are the ones who do the most helicoptering.

Those poor kids.

This. They are the same ones who Apache helicoptered through high school and claimed it would end in college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Professor here. No, you should not be choosing your child's courses, checking their grades or telling them what to major in. You don't need to know that your daughter is taking comparative religion or queer studies as she works out her own adult value system if you will feel compelled to block these efforts. And no you shouldn't be "advocating" for your child to have a do over on the final or insisting they didn't plagiarize when they did. The dad who was so insistent that the paper wasn't plagiarized appeared to have written it himself!

You are entitled to this opinion when you are ready to pay for my child's education.. Until then, STFU and be happy you have tenure at an overpaid, relaxing job.

But legally they are not children. You may regard them as so but legally they are not.

This is correct. You are gifting your child an education. The arrangements you make between your adult child and you are not the business of the school. You are welcome to insist that as part of your bargain, you need to have authority to sign off on all their classes (you shouldn't but you can). The adult child is then free to tell you to go take a hike or to share their course selection with you each semester. You are welcome to insist that you will not continue to pay for their education if they dont maintain xyz GPA. You then ask them for proof in the form of some sort of doc from the University with their grades. Fine. Most of us manage this by having a good enough relationship with our kids not to make demands but to ask for info. Most kids comply because they want to hear their parents thoughts and they know that Mom and Dad is footing the bill. None of this has anything to do with FERPA. Dont make the govt deal with your broken relationships and power plays.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Professor here. No, you should not be choosing your child's courses, checking their grades or telling them what to major in. You don't need to know that your daughter is taking comparative religion or queer studies as she works out her own adult value system if you will feel compelled to block these efforts. And no you shouldn't be "advocating" for your child to have a do over on the final or insisting they didn't plagiarize when they did. The dad who was so insistent that the paper wasn't plagiarized appeared to have written it himself!

You are entitled to this opinion when you are ready to pay for my child's education.. Until then, STFU and be happy you have tenure at an overpaid, relaxing job.

But legally they are not children. You may regard them as so but legally they are not.

This is correct. You are gifting your child an education. The arrangements you make between your adult child and you are not the business of the school. You are welcome to insist that as part of your bargain, you need to have authority to sign off on all their classes (you shouldn't but you can). The adult child is then free to tell you to go take a hike or to share their course selection with you each semester. You are welcome to insist that you will not continue to pay for their education if they dont maintain xyz GPA. You then ask them for proof in the form of some sort of doc from the University with their grades. Fine. Most of us manage this by having a good enough relationship with our kids not to make demands but to ask for info. Most kids comply because they want to hear their parents thoughts and they know that Mom and Dad is footing the bill. None of this has anything to do with FERPA. Dont make the govt deal with your broken relationships and power plays.

True. But the FAFSA directly affects price of that gift, the price to the student if there is no gift, thus affecting the student's financial independence.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Professor here. No, you should not be choosing your child's courses, checking their grades or telling them what to major in. You don't need to know that your daughter is taking comparative religion or queer studies as she works out her own adult value system if you will feel compelled to block these efforts. And no you shouldn't be "advocating" for your child to have a do over on the final or insisting they didn't plagiarize when they did. The dad who was so insistent that the paper wasn't plagiarized appeared to have written it himself!

You are entitled to this opinion when you are ready to pay for my child's education.. Until then, STFU and be happy you have tenure at an overpaid, relaxing job.

But legally they are not children. You may regard them as so but legally they are not.

This is correct. You are gifting your child an education. The arrangements you make between your adult child and you are not the business of the school. You are welcome to insist that as part of your bargain, you need to have authority to sign off on all their classes (you shouldn't but you can). The adult child is then free to tell you to go take a hike or to share their course selection with you each semester. You are welcome to insist that you will not continue to pay for their education if they dont maintain xyz GPA. You then ask them for proof in the form of some sort of doc from the University with their grades. Fine. Most of us manage this by having a good enough relationship with our kids not to make demands but to ask for info. Most kids comply because they want to hear their parents thoughts and they know that Mom and Dad is footing the bill. None of this has anything to do with FERPA. Dont make the govt deal with your broken relationships and power plays.

True. But the FAFSA directly affects price of that gift, the price to the student if there is no gift, thus affecting the student's financial independence.

And if you don’t trust your kid to disclose the information you want, you should definitely not make that gift.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Professor here. No, you should not be choosing your child's courses, checking their grades or telling them what to major in. You don't need to know that your daughter is taking comparative religion or queer studies as she works out her own adult value system if you will feel compelled to block these efforts. And no you shouldn't be "advocating" for your child to have a do over on the final or insisting they didn't plagiarize when they did. The dad who was so insistent that the paper wasn't plagiarized appeared to have written it himself!

You are entitled to this opinion when you are ready to pay for my child's education.. Until then, STFU and be happy you have tenure at an overpaid, relaxing job.

But legally they are not children. You may regard them as so but legally they are not.

This is correct. You are gifting your child an education. The arrangements you make between your adult child and you are not the business of the school. You are welcome to insist that as part of your bargain, you need to have authority to sign off on all their classes (you shouldn't but you can). The adult child is then free to tell you to go take a hike or to share their course selection with you each semester. You are welcome to insist that you will not continue to pay for their education if they dont maintain xyz GPA. You then ask them for proof in the form of some sort of doc from the University with their grades. Fine. Most of us manage this by having a good enough relationship with our kids not to make demands but to ask for info. Most kids comply because they want to hear their parents thoughts and they know that Mom and Dad is footing the bill. None of this has anything to do with FERPA. Dont make the govt deal with your broken relationships and power plays.

True. But the FAFSA directly affects price of that gift, the price to the student if there is no gift, thus affecting the student's financial independence.

Yes. So sort out the gift, or don't give it. And make signing a FERPA waiver a condition of that, or not, as you choose -- but it is an additional step.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Professor here. No, you should not be choosing your child's courses, checking their grades or telling them what to major in. You don't need to know that your daughter is taking comparative religion or queer studies as she works out her own adult value system if you will feel compelled to block these efforts. And no you shouldn't be "advocating" for your child to have a do over on the final or insisting they didn't plagiarize when they did. The dad who was so insistent that the paper wasn't plagiarized appeared to have written it himself!

You are entitled to this opinion when you are ready to pay for my child's education.. Until then, STFU and be happy you have tenure at an overpaid, relaxing job.

But legally they are not children. You may regard them as so but legally they are not.

This is correct. You are gifting your child an education. The arrangements you make between your adult child and you are not the business of the school. You are welcome to insist that as part of your bargain, you need to have authority to sign off on all their classes (you shouldn't but you can). The adult child is then free to tell you to go take a hike or to share their course selection with you each semester. You are welcome to insist that you will not continue to pay for their education if they dont maintain xyz GPA. You then ask them for proof in the form of some sort of doc from the University with their grades. Fine. Most of us manage this by having a good enough relationship with our kids not to make demands but to ask for info. Most kids comply because they want to hear their parents thoughts and they know that Mom and Dad is footing the bill. None of this has anything to do with FERPA. Dont make the govt deal with your broken relationships and power plays.

True. But the FAFSA directly affects price of that gift, the price to the student if there is no gift, thus affecting the student's financial independence.

of course the pricing is based on what the university thinks they can get the student to pay. how is that surprising to you? when you go into a car negotiation, there are a bunch of factors that will determine what price you will pay for the car you walk off the lot with. Same with a house. Based on supply, demand, and perception of your ability to pay. Enough people are willing to pay for their kids educations that Universities charge a price for them based on parent income. Unsure why this has anything to do with privacy of student records.

[Anonymous]

I don't either, PP. And the analogies being offered don't seem to support that viewpoint, either.

Money is just not formally tied to rights in the US. You can't pay enough to purchase someone else's rights, if they do not want to yield them. Do with that what you will, but it is what it is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Professor here. No, you should not be choosing your child's courses, checking their grades or telling them what to major in. You don't need to know that your daughter is taking comparative religion or queer studies as she works out her own adult value system if you will feel compelled to block these efforts. And no you shouldn't be "advocating" for your child to have a do over on the final or insisting they didn't plagiarize when they did. The dad who was so insistent that the paper wasn't plagiarized appeared to have written it himself!

OP here. You make completely legitimate points, and I greatly appreciate you weighing in.

I guess when I learned about FERPA, I wasn't thinking about trying to intervene in course selection or grades. It just seems like some kids are not 100 percent mature at age 18, and may still need a bit of coaching/scaffolding from a parent.

But some other person mentioned that there is a waiver. I'll ask my son about it, in case he's willing. I think he trusts us that we're not going to interfere with his college experience.

I doubt you’re still here OP, but my parents required the waiver for them to write the check. I signed it, and then we just talked about things instead of them going to the school. It was not a big thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You didn't have my crazy, narcissistic mother, obviously. If I didn't return a phone call on the same day she made it, she called my advisor. If I still didn't respond, she called the Dean of Students office.

IKR. Over 18 is an adult. I too had a crazy mom. She knows where I live but not where I work. Thank goddess.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Professor here. No, you should not be choosing your child's courses, checking their grades or telling them what to major in. You don't need to know that your daughter is taking comparative religion or queer studies as she works out her own adult value system if you will feel compelled to block these efforts. And no you shouldn't be "advocating" for your child to have a do over on the final or insisting they didn't plagiarize when they did. The dad who was so insistent that the paper wasn't plagiarized appeared to have written it himself!

You are entitled to this opinion when you are ready to pay for my child's education.. Until then, STFU and be happy you have tenure at an overpaid, relaxing job.

But legally they are not children. You may regard them as so but legally they are not.

This is correct. You are gifting your child an education. The arrangements you make between your adult child and you are not the business of the school. You are welcome to insist that as part of your bargain, you need to have authority to sign off on all their classes (you shouldn't but you can). The adult child is then free to tell you to go take a hike or to share their course selection with you each semester. You are welcome to insist that you will not continue to pay for their education if they dont maintain xyz GPA. You then ask them for proof in the form of some sort of doc from the University with their grades. Fine. Most of us manage this by having a good enough relationship with our kids not to make demands but to ask for info. Most kids comply because they want to hear their parents thoughts and they know that Mom and Dad is footing the bill. None of this has anything to do with FERPA. Dont make the govt deal with your broken relationships and power plays.

True. But the FAFSA directly affects price of that gift, the price to the student if there is no gift, thus affecting the student's financial independence.

And what does that have to do with FERPA? You are conflating two completely separate issues. Your issue is with the impact of FAFSA on college costs. Go lobby congress on that issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If they are given a prescription for birth control, do their parents get to know this?

If they are given Plan B, do their parents get to know this?

That's HIPAA not FERPA. Keep your politics out of the college forum please.

As for FERPA, don't most colleges have a procedure where students can grant parents access? Have your kid do that and then you don't have to worry about a silly privacy law.

Yes, your kid can grant you access. I can't remember the name of it, but we signed a form at the registrar's office the day we dropped our DC off at college. We never used it in four years, but if my kid had gotten into any kind of academic difficulty, we would have been able to discuss it with his teachers and administrators at the college. That brought peace of mind, even though we never used or needed it.

[Anonymous]

FERPA protects the university, not the student.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:FERPA protects the university, not the student.

Would you have no problem making all of your child's academic history -- grades, accommodations, disciplinary record, all of it -- public information online?

Do you think all adult students at university would have no problem making all of that available to the public? What if their future employers could see what accommodations they needed, or if they needed financial assistance? Prospective friends or partners?

There are ways in which it makes things easier on universities, especially with helicopter parents of adults. That does not entail that it is useless to students, wither as minors or not.

[Anonymous]

^^whether, not wither