Would you tell your friends to have kids after this situation?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op - you don't say if you work, but you have a newborn so you are on maternity leave. Whether or not there was a pandemic, you were going to be stuck at home. And at least your DH is ostensibly teleworking so he can help out a bit more. And with a newborn, you would't be going to crowded places anyway. You would be doing...things you can do now, like neighborhood walks, etc. I am not saying your situation is not hard. It is. But I think you are pretty much in a phase of life that sucks pandemic or not.

Op here - dh is home but in the office from 7am to 8pm on calls and working. He comes out for 10 or 15 minutes at a time but that’s about it. Otherwise it’s me. I typically am very out and about even with a newborn. For the first 4 weeks of the baby’s life we had already gone to the zoo, brunch, visited with friends and went on a 7 hour road trip.

You knew all this and choose to have three kids. You either hire help, suck it up or stop having kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is it with parents of three kids who complain so much about having three kids? I don't get it. You choose to have three kids and close in age. What did you expect? Now is a great time to spend time with them.

I think many ppl think it will be different when they have children.

Also, sometimes individuals do not have the choice on whether to get pregnant or have a baby.

[Anonymous]

If this has been “the worst month of your life”, you have been very, very lucky. You also need to develop some coping skills. I guarantee you, you’ll go through worse at some point.

[Anonymous]

It’s a very hard stage when you bring a new baby into the family; the sleep deprivation + postpartum hormones thing is no joke. Sounds like your kids are all very young/close together in age which is intense even if you have “easy” kids just because they need so much from you. All that plus being in a very stressful situation right now with the pandemic certainly makes things that much harder and more depressing. This is just a particularly difficult period for you but it won’t last forever! Hang in there/

[Anonymous]

You need help OP. It is hard teleworking with a toddler but I would never go back and undo my choice. I love being a mother and I am treasuring this extra time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have a ton of friends who don’t have kids yet (we are in our mid 30s). After being stuck in our house for 30 days straight with our 3 kids (including a newborn) I would tell my friends to think long and hard before you have kids. I wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy. This has potentially been the worst month of my life. Maybe if our kids were older (they are toddlers) or we didn’t have to work and take care of them at the same time I wouldn’t feel this way but I am sure I am just reiterating what most working parents feel like during this quarantine and pandemic. I love my kids but if I knew there was a chance that I could be stuck inside with them for days and months on end with no end in sight I would highly rethink having them or at least so many of them.

Np. I dont think it is your job to tell people whether they should. It is really none of your business. Are you really saying that you wish you didnt have them ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is it with parents of three kids who complain so much about having three kids? I don't get it. You choose to have three kids and close in age. What did you expect? Now is a great time to spend time with them.

I think many ppl think it will be different when they have children.

Also, sometimes individuals do not have the choice on whether to get pregnant or have a baby.

You always have a choice to get pregnant or have a baby.

[Anonymous]

Wow op isn’t even working right now either? What a wild thread. Op be grateful you’re not trying to both telework on top of all of this

[Anonymous]

Quit whining! You have to stay in your house for a few weeks. Check back when you have some real problems in your life like a sick child or spouse. Get a grip, call your doc and get some meds.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow op isn’t even working right now either? What a wild thread. Op be grateful you’re not trying to both telework on top of all of this

Op here - really? I have a 6 week old who was up 6 times last night and two toddlers (one who was also up last night) and dealing with them 24/7. Dh isn’t any help other than an occasional yelling at the kids when they get super unruly and I am trying to put the baby down for nap. I basically spend all day breaking up fights, cooking, cleaning, doing laundry and breastfeeding a baby. But thanks.

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry you are having a hard time - but I don't understand why you'd need to give negative input to your friends. Most likely they won't listen to it anyway. Don't you remember how you felt when you wanted kids and were trying to have them?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow op isn’t even working right now either? What a wild thread. Op be grateful you’re not trying to both telework on top of all of this

Op here - really? I have a 6 week old who was up 6 times last night and two toddlers (one who was also up last night) and dealing with them 24/7. Dh isn’t any help other than an occasional yelling at the kids when they get super unruly and I am trying to put the baby down for nap. I basically spend all day breaking up fights, cooking, cleaning, doing laundry and breastfeeding a baby. But thanks.

I think the bigger issue is the lack of help from your husband. Many of us work big jobs via telework right now, but he chose to have another child and should certainly be offering to help a bit more than you currently describe. My DH changed every diaper that he could. I'd have a heart to heart with him that you need a bit more relief - you aren't his kids caretaker, you are co-parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why dry I’d you have 3 kids?

Well I didn’t think there would be a global pandemic so there is that.

Well, you didn’t answer the question.

[Anonymous]

Hang in OP and try to get some sleep or more alcohol in your system
It's tough. I am a single Mom of twins, trying to work from home, keep the twins off their ipads and make sure they are doing their school work. We live in a condo, so I cannot even let my high energy kids out for a run...it's challenging.

[Anonymous]

I would still tell my friends to have kids, but no more than two. I think the third is often the breaking point for many families, as it is for the OP. Also, I have always preferred nanny over daycare and this situation reinforces that. Our lives have been quite chill because of nanny continuing to come. So I would recommend nanny to them as well.