Difficulty making friends with women

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Piling on with attacks against OP isn't at all useful and just makes you all look like hateful, bitchy shrews.

Why the nastiness?

[Anonymous]

We'll this is going well!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:agree that some of the responses have been harsh but it's true that there is something up with OP if she can't make friends with ANY women. i'm far from a girly girl - hate shopping, the spa bores me, don't like gossip, but guess what? i still have women friends. most women are NOT judgmental, catty and/or drama queens. there are plenty of down-to-earth, normal fun human beings who are women.

NP here. First of all, I have female friends, so I just want to get that out there before you all start attacking me. I know I'm not a precious snowflake.

But female social dynamics in general can be very difficult to maneuver for certain personality types as well as for women who never spent a lot of time in a clique as a kid.

I thought this was common knowledge and has has been pretty well documented in sociological studies, et cetera, that female bonding in groups is different than male bonding in groups. So it's not outside the realm of possibility that some women (for a number of reasons) have a real difficult time navigating it enough to really connect/bond with other women.

My advice to OP would be to try to spend time with some of the women in your life on a one-on-one basis. So invite one of the wives of your husband's friends out to coffee or something. You might find it easier to connect outside of group situations and without some of the complexities of group dynamics to navigate.

[Anonymous]

Women with no female friends usually have major issues.

[Anonymous]

Try to meet women through YOUR hobbies. YOUR sports, your volunteer interests, etc.

Too often we think our core female friends have to be our husband's friends' or coworkers' spouses and we forget about our own interests.

[Anonymous]

I have the same issue OP. I know it's me and not everyone else though. I am dyslexic and when I was having a lot of testing done when I was in elementary school a group of "mean girls" found out and bullied me to the point that my mother had to speak to the teacher. They stopped after the teacher and principle stepped in, but then I became a total outcast from the girls in my class. The guys didn't seem to care about the drama or rumors surrounding me and I ended up becoming best friends with a few of them.

From then on I just clicked with guys easier than girls. In high school I was friends with girls, but didn't hangout with them outside of school. I know how to socialize with women, but I can't seem to make lasting friendships. I was once told by my roommate in college that I don't share information willingly about myself and that probably stems back to the bullying.

[Anonymous]

Women are often shitty to each other. This thread is exhibit A. With guys you don't have as many queen bee/mean girl issues. Women tend to put a lot more social pressure upon one another to conform than men do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Women are often shitty to each other. This thread is exhibit A. With guys you don't have as many queen bee/mean girl issues. Women tend to put a lot more social pressure upon one another to conform than men do.

Not true at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Women are often shitty to each other. This thread is exhibit A. With guys you don't have as many queen bee/mean girl issues. Women tend to put a lot more social pressure upon one another to conform than men do.

Again, I would say depending on the women. If you think guys are nicer, try 4chan.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a girl and I've always had a hard time making close female friends. In fact I get along better with my husbands guy friends than i do with their wives.

I just feel like I don't have much in common with them. And it makes me insecure.

Does anyone else have this issue? Suggestions?

Why do you feel this way?

My suggestion is you have to get out of your own way right now you are in a bad cycle

1. I think other women don't like me.
2. I go into encounters with other women with a chip on my shoulder and looking for things that support my assumption that women don't like me.
3. My negativity is perceived by other women and they avoid me due to not wanting to be around my negativity.
4. I am correct that no one likes me.

See what I mean OP?

[Anonymous]

Anyone noticed that OP refers to herself as a girl?

Maybe it's an issue of maturity that's causing the problems.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Allow me to be blunt, any woman who has claimed she can't be friends with another female because she doesn't have anything in common with them has 100% of the time been the problem.

She is usually overly critical of other women while make excuses for men.

She usually suffers from "snowflake syndrome" she is just oh so unique and the only woman on the planet to have xyz interests.

She also typically lacks appropriate social boundaries ie blantantlyflirts with boyfrien/husband of other womean and then plays dumb when called out on it saying things like " I just don't see it like that I'm one of the guys lolz."

It's not them or what you have in common with them that's making you insecure. You are insecure. When you are part of a group of females you think you have to compete with them for attention ( primarily male) doesn't matter that you are married.

When you are the only girl in the group you feel like you are special. " The guys are into me."

Grow up.

Oh my goodness, yes, this x 1000. This poster nailed it. I don't know why anyone else bothered writing anything. I'm serious.

[Anonymous]

OP, try to make one female friend based on a shared interest. I am a girly girl, and I have made great friends through arts and crafts circles at places like Joann fabric or Michaels crafts stores or Hobby Lobby. I don't enjoy shopping or spending hours talking about fashion, hair, and make up.

I am most intimidated by those women who are really into sports and are athletic. Again from childhood I was the youngest and smallest in my class, and the last one called to be on a sports team on the playground. My grade school friends liked me anyway even though I would duck and never go for the ball. However, in high school PE class the girls would get somewhat serious about their sports. A broken bone was not worth it to me to win some dodge ball game.

[Anonymous]

OP here. I don't think I'm a special snowflake or somehow better than others. I desperately want to have a nice group of close girlfriends. I jus have never been able to accumulate female friends because I guess on some level I feel like I don't have anything to offer other women. I'm not very social and I'm not very cool. Why would they want to befriend me? So I guess I'm always guarded and come across as snobby or off putting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:With all due respect and in an attempt to answer honestly, a woman who claims she has a problem with other women is always the problem. Your problem is either that you choose friends poorly or that you don't treat friends well, or a combination of the two. To make and keep good friends, you have to be a good friend.

+1000

Couldn't agree more.