My husband forces me to be a nagging b***h

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Sure. Using craigslist once in w while is alright. But if you dont meet someone in a safe, public place- then you're a fool. And you're DEFINITELY a fool if you bring them to your home and give them a tour while leading them to the office to move your furniture. Anyone with a brain and any street smarts at all knows that.

Nope, you just sound incredibly paranoid or you live in a very bad area. You can usually weed out the crazies, it's not like you have to deal with everyone that responds to your ad. Most people on Craigslist are not criminals, shocking I know.

Nope, I live in a great area. Which is why i don't invited strangers over to case out the neighborhood and my home.

Plenty of criminals aren't on craigslist.

Again, the naiveté is staggering....

Plenty of criminals are also at the supermarket, so make sure you don't let anyone see what you are buying. I hear they like to pick their victims based on the cuts of meat that they buy.... Jeeze, the ignorance is mind numbing. Most criminals are not searching through craigslist for a worn out desk that is free w/ pick up. Life is short and if you want to spend yours being paranoid over irrational stuff, that's your choice. I certainly won't try to change your mind lmao.
I've never worked in law enforcement but I find it highly unlikely that someone staking out a neighborhood would use craigslist to find the best spot, there much much better resources out there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband WILL NOT do anything I ask him to do until I get so f**king tired of asking him that I freak out and yell at him until he does it.
Oh my GOD! We fostered a litter of abandoned kittens until they were old enough to go into a rescue organization.
One of them pissed behind this ugly, God-awful desk in our carpeted office. There was then a piss war between them and the entire room smells disgusting:
I have been asking my husband (very nicely) to get rid of the desk for 2 months. "Honey, will you please make arrangements to have the desk removed from our office? It would really help me. I'm making your favorite dinner tonight! How many blowjobs would you like?" That's basically how it goes.
He'll barely acknowledge me and then never does it. I just want to clean/rip the carpets out of the room so I don't have to smell it.
He's leaving town for training next week and I asked him last week to have it removed before he leaves.
I asked him if he'd made arrangements today and he said he hadn't. I flipped the f**k out and started acting like a raving lunatic. I told him very clearly that I was sick of this motherf**kin desk in my motherf**kin house. He texted me an hour ago and told me it's being taken out tomorrow.
Why does the man make me turn into a shrew? I don't want to be one, I just want him to do his f**ling part.

You chose to do that. You could also have chosen to give it away on craigslist/ hire someone to drag it out to the garbage after the first weekend your husband didn't do it.

Hiring someone off Craigslist? What world are you living in? Great way to get yourself robbed or raped.

I didn't say hire someone off craigslist- I said give it away on craigslist. You're welcome.

For the bad advice? No thanks- you can keep it. That would still require a stranger waltzing through her home, presumably while she was the only one there, since her do-nothing husband surely won't care, and then dragging it out.

If you seriously think that's a good idea then you must either be very dumb or live in a very, very small town. Not DC.

Think a little bit out of the box. What if the OP asked some people to be there with her when the desk was picked up?! I know- it's blowing your mind, right?

So her husband has zero responsibility to move the damn thing, and it's up to OP to both hire and pay a moving company and then round up a friend group to protect her from the potential robbers/rapists?

LMAO. I would seriously hate to be you women.

You really read into a lot. I would hate to be you as well, because of your poor reading comprehension.

It really doesn't take a lot to see that you guys put up with a lot of shit and expect OP to do the same.

Sucks to be you.

OP, I would have gone ballistic too, in your situation. I hate HATE when people say they are going to do something and then don't do it. My DH is the same way. Now when I ask him to do something, I tell him it has to be done in a timely manner otherwise he'll just tell me he hasn't done it YET. Implying that he is still planning on doing said thing. It's infuriating!

[Anonymous]

I don't get why you wouldn't just take care of it yourself if it matters to you. Seriously, why was it his job?

[Anonymous]

wow OP. this thread got hijacked to the max

people, it was a friggin EXAMPLE. I'm sure he has some annoying habits that she has to nag him about, like always leaving his dishes on the counter (instead of putting them in the dishwasher) or leaves his shoes on and walks through the house after going for a run in the rain and mud. it's an EXAMPLE.

sorry OP. I can sympathize. my DH used to do this when we we first moved in together (pre-marriage) and I thought I had lost my mind because I didn't actually want to nag but I also didn't want to follow him around the house and clean up after him. it took about a year and some serious discussions in the tone of "you leaving me to take care of the desk when you brought the kittens in and you know I am overburdened at work this week makes me feel like you think my time is less valuable than yours. I now have to put aside my responsibilities and take care of something that we agreed upon you doing" after a few pointed discussions like that he actually understood that it wasn't just him being lazy and taking care of it later, it was me having to add his burden and responsibilities onto my own. he's not perfect and sometimes he does leave me to do the lion's share but sometimes I put him in that position too and we are now in a give and take place when it comes to household responsibilities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Sure. Using craigslist once in w while is alright. But if you dont meet someone in a safe, public place- then you're a fool. And you're DEFINITELY a fool if you bring them to your home and give them a tour while leading them to the office to move your furniture. Anyone with a brain and any street smarts at all knows that.

Nope, you just sound incredibly paranoid or you live in a very bad area. You can usually weed out the crazies, it's not like you have to deal with everyone that responds to your ad. Most people on Craigslist are not criminals, shocking I know.

Nope, I live in a great area. Which is why i don't invited strangers over to case out the neighborhood and my home.

Plenty of criminals aren't on craigslist.

Again, the naiveté is staggering....

Plenty of criminals are also at the supermarket, so make sure you don't let anyone see what you are buying. I hear they like to pick their victims based on the cuts of meat that they buy.... Jeeze, the ignorance is mind numbing. Most criminals are not searching through craigslist for a worn out desk that is free w/ pick up. Life is short and if you want to spend yours being paranoid over irrational stuff, that's your choice. I certainly won't try to change your mind lmao.
I've never worked in law enforcement but I find it highly unlikely that someone staking out a neighborhood would use craigslist to find the best spot, there much much better resources out there.

Yep, and I dont ask strangers to come through my house and show them where my office is.

You really are dense. It's amazing you're even typing responses now- with the lack of basic street smarts I'm shocked you've survived.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:wow OP. this thread got hijacked to the max

people, it was a friggin EXAMPLE. I'm sure he has some annoying habits that she has to nag him about, like always leaving his dishes on the counter (instead of putting them in the dishwasher) or leaves his shoes on and walks through the house after going for a run in the rain and mud. it's an EXAMPLE.

sorry OP. I can sympathize. my DH used to do this when we we first moved in together (pre-marriage) and I thought I had lost my mind because I didn't actually want to nag but I also didn't want to follow him around the house and clean up after him. it took about a year and some serious discussions in the tone of "you leaving me to take care of the desk when you brought the kittens in and you know I am overburdened at work this week makes me feel like you think my time is less valuable than yours. I now have to put aside my responsibilities and take care of something that we agreed upon you doing" after a few pointed discussions like that he actually understood that it wasn't just him being lazy and taking care of it later, it was me having to add his burden and responsibilities onto my own. he's not perfect and sometimes he does leave me to do the lion's share but sometimes I put him in that position too and we are now in a give and take place when it comes to household responsibilities.

YES!!! This, exactly! When you say you are going to do something, DO IT. Otherwise I will end up taking care of it, thus adding to the things I have to take care of, thus stressing me out even more. Gah! Don't people get this?? No wonder so many of us are on anti anxiety meds. . .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Sure. Using craigslist once in w while is alright. But if you dont meet someone in a safe, public place- then you're a fool. And you're DEFINITELY a fool if you bring them to your home and give them a tour while leading them to the office to move your furniture. Anyone with a brain and any street smarts at all knows that.

Nope, you just sound incredibly paranoid or you live in a very bad area. You can usually weed out the crazies, it's not like you have to deal with everyone that responds to your ad. Most people on Craigslist are not criminals, shocking I know.

Nope, I live in a great area. Which is why i don't invited strangers over to case out the neighborhood and my home.

Plenty of criminals aren't on craigslist.

Again, the naiveté is staggering....

Plenty of criminals are also at the supermarket, so make sure you don't let anyone see what you are buying. I hear they like to pick their victims based on the cuts of meat that they buy.... Jeeze, the ignorance is mind numbing. Most criminals are not searching through craigslist for a worn out desk that is free w/ pick up. Life is short and if you want to spend yours being paranoid over irrational stuff, that's your choice. I certainly won't try to change your mind lmao.
I've never worked in law enforcement but I find it highly unlikely that someone staking out a neighborhood would use craigslist to find the best spot, there much much better resources out there.

Yep, and I dont ask strangers to come through my house and show them where my office is.

You really are dense. It's amazing you're even typing responses now- with the lack of basic street smarts I'm shocked you've survived.

I'm sorry that you had to grow up on the streets and developed such a twisted, pessimistic outlook on life. It can't have been easy, so the unwarranted anger and hostility you are displaying can be excused I suppose. It's time to agree to disagree, I don't like arguing for the sake of arguing.

I've had great experiences with Craigslist, and will continue to use it. Maybe I'm just better at filtering out the 'criminals', although your the one with the street smarts haha.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:wow OP. this thread got hijacked to the max

people, it was a friggin EXAMPLE. I'm sure he has some annoying habits that she has to nag him about, like always leaving his dishes on the counter (instead of putting them in the dishwasher) or leaves his shoes on and walks through the house after going for a run in the rain and mud. it's an EXAMPLE.

sorry OP. I can sympathize. my DH used to do this when we we first moved in together (pre-marriage) and I thought I had lost my mind because I didn't actually want to nag but I also didn't want to follow him around the house and clean up after him. it took about a year and some serious discussions in the tone of "you leaving me to take care of the desk when you brought the kittens in and you know I am overburdened at work this week makes me feel like you think my time is less valuable than yours. I now have to put aside my responsibilities and take care of something that we agreed upon you doing" after a few pointed discussions like that he actually understood that it wasn't just him being lazy and taking care of it later, it was me having to add his burden and responsibilities onto my own. he's not perfect and sometimes he does leave me to do the lion's share but sometimes I put him in that position too and we are now in a give and take place when it comes to household responsibilities.

YES!!! This, exactly! When you say you are going to do something, DO IT. Otherwise I will end up taking care of it, thus adding to the things I have to take care of, thus stressing me out even more. Gah! Don't people get this?? No wonder so many of us are on anti anxiety meds. . .

I think a lot of women are in complete agreement with you, OP. There seem to be some nasty posters on here advocating you outsource to Craigslist or wherever, but that doesnt take care of the problem- which your DH habitually not doing chores. That will not change unless you start putting your foot down and insisting that he help out, or you wont be the one to cover up for him and take care of it.

It's not fair for one person, male or female, to be doing all the chores while the other person does nothing.

[Anonymous]

I was one of the posters discussing craigslist. I apologize for derailing the thread a bit lol. I was just saying craigslist is a great place to sell stuff, generally speaking. In this particular case I do think her hubby needs to step up her game though, I wouldn't make my wife be the one to deal with that mess. Shape up or get out imo, op needs to make it clear this is not how she will spend the rest of her life or there will be real consequences.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was one of the posters discussing craigslist. I apologize for derailing the thread a bit lol. I was just saying craigslist is a great place to sell stuff, generally speaking. In this particular case I do think her hubby needs to step up her game though, I wouldn't make my wife be the one to deal with that mess. Shape up or get out imo, op needs to make it clear this is not how she will spend the rest of her life or there will be real consequences.

His game*** whoops

[Anonymous]

Don't go ballistic. You don't have the right to be abusive because he doesn't do as he is told. He is not your child.

Any chance you nitpick about the chores he has done before?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No blowjobs, no sex until he can help around the house more.

Or let him know that you will be hiring a cleaning person and taking it out of the household funds since he isn't willing to do an equal share.

Maybe he'll be hiring a person and taking it out of household funds?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don't go ballistic. You don't have the right to be abusive because he doesn't do as he is told. He is not your child.

Any chance you nitpick about the chores he has done before?

HUH? I guess the point where OP said she was considering beating her DH with a tire iron...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Whoever was the instigator of the cat situation should have the desk removed. Did your husband really want to foster them? Or did he get talked into it and now he's got a pee stained smelly desk/office and a pissed off wife? If he was the one that wanted the cats, then he better get on it.

Surprised this comment didn't get more attention. Because it's exactly the correct analysis.

[Anonymous]

^*Guess I missed the point