My husband forces me to be a nagging b***h

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Whoever was the instigator of the cat situation should have the desk removed. Did your husband really want to foster them? Or did he get talked into it and now he's got a pee stained smelly desk/office and a pissed off wife? If he was the one that wanted the cats, then he better get on it.

Surprised this comment didn't get more attention. Because it's exactly the correct analysis.

They paid no attention to my comment because they just want to bitch and argue about hypothetical things to make themselves feel smart.
I have never in my years heard a man say he wanted to foster stray cats. There may be an exception. But I really doubt it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He sounds super passive aggressive OP.

I think the no sex, hire someone else to do it rule is a good one.

Maybe it will wake him from his laziness stupor

People are not passive aggressive because they are lazy...tbh I think the biggest take away from this is that op and hubby need to attend couples counseling ....using sex or the lack thereof as a form of punishment is a terrible idea and will strain an already tumultuous marriage even further.

He sounds both passive aggressive and lazy, which is a nasty combo. I dont think it's necessarily using sex as a form of punishment. But if one person cant be responsible and considerate of the other- that's not a person I feel like sleeping with. And hopefully her DH will realize that.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Whoever was the instigator of the cat situation should have the desk removed. Did your husband really want to foster them? Or did he get talked into it and now he's got a pee stained smelly desk/office and a pissed off wife? If he was the one that wanted the cats, then he better get on it.

Surprised this comment didn't get more attention. Because it's exactly the correct analysis.

They paid no attention to my comment because they just want to bitch and argue about hypothetical things to make themselves feel smart.
I have never in my years heard a man say he wanted to foster stray cats. There may be an exception. But I really doubt it.

Wow, men seem like horrible people then.

[Anonymous]

Ask Nice, Ask Twice!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Whoever was the instigator of the cat situation should have the desk removed. Did your husband really want to foster them? Or did he get talked into it and now he's got a pee stained smelly desk/office and a pissed off wife? If he was the one that wanted the cats, then he better get on it.

+ 1.

Exactly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He sounds super passive aggressive OP.

I think the no sex, hire someone else to do it rule is a good one.

Maybe it will wake him from his laziness stupor

Or eventually turn it into a sexless marriage with stretched finances.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ask Nice, Ask Twice!

And then what??????

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband WILL NOT do anything I ask him to do until I get so f**king tired of asking him that I freak out and yell at him until he does it.
Oh my GOD! We fostered a litter of abandoned kittens until they were old enough to go into a rescue organization.
One of them pissed behind this ugly, God-awful desk in our carpeted office. There was then a piss war between them and the entire room smells disgusting:
I have been asking my husband (very nicely) to get rid of the desk for 2 months. "Honey, will you please make arrangements to have the desk removed from our office? It would really help me. I'm making your favorite dinner tonight! How many blowjobs would you like?" That's basically how it goes.
He'll barely acknowledge me and then never does it. I just want to clean/rip the carpets out of the room so I don't have to smell it.
He's leaving town for training next week and I asked him last week to have it removed before he leaves.
I asked him if he'd made arrangements today and he said he hadn't. I flipped the f**k out and started acting like a raving lunatic. I told him very clearly that I was sick of this motherf**kin desk in my motherf**kin house. He texted me an hour ago and told me it's being taken out tomorrow.
Why does the man make me turn into a shrew? I don't want to be one, I just want him to do his f**ling part.

You are responsible for you own behavior. Nobody can force you to be a bitch. That is on you.

If you want to get rid of the desk and the carpet, then fucking do it already. Get rid of the fucking desk and the fucking carpets if that's what you want. You are an adult.

Your husband is probably tired of being bullied and doesn't care any more.

I would never treat my DH this way.

[Anonymous]

I disagree that your husband is "forcing" you to be a bitch. That's your choice. I agree that not doing the things you say you will do, and not pulling your weight around the house, are annoying behaviors. But there is more than one solution. Ask him, and if he doesn't do it, hire it done. If he complains about that, just explain that you asked him to do it, he didn't, so you did. And frankly, if my husband wasn't pulling his weight, and I had to do his share of the household work, I'd be putting a really low priority on the work that primarily benefited him. I'm not going to double my workload because my partner is a slacker; I'm just going to do different work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Or you could have called 1-800-GOT-JUNK and taken care of it yourself? Why create all this drama and misery?

Um, because marriage is supposed to be a partnership and DH always had the option of either following through or speaking up and saying he was too busy or whatever? People think silence is a form of non-participation, but this is not so. It's crippling. She most certainly DID NOT "create all this drama and misery", she discussed an issue with her husband. He chose to ignore everything until she was left alone and feeling helpless in a relationship that is supposed to be characterized by trust and mutuality. Fuck HIM.

OP, I agree with the PP who said that denying sexual favor is the better approach. I hated being in this situation when I was married. Silence is a form of contempt. To have your partner treat you this way feels dehumanizing.

Congrats, OP, on not strangling him out of frustration!

[Anonymous]

I'm pretty sure yelling and cursing is a form of dehumanization.

I suspect if the original post was about a man acting like OP, this thread would have a different tone.

[Anonymous]

I didn't read all these comments.OP my husband is exactly like this. He has ADHD (inattentive). It's really hard. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband WILL NOT do anything I ask him to do until I get so f**king tired of asking him that I freak out and yell at him until he does it.
Oh my GOD! We fostered a litter of abandoned kittens until they were old enough to go into a rescue organization.
One of them pissed behind this ugly, God-awful desk in our carpeted office. There was then a piss war between them and the entire room smells disgusting:
I have been asking my husband (very nicely) to get rid of the desk for 2 months. "Honey, will you please make arrangements to have the desk removed from our office? It would really help me. I'm making your favorite dinner tonight! How many blowjobs would you like?" That's basically how it goes.
He'll barely acknowledge me and then never does it. I just want to clean/rip the carpets out of the room so I don't have to smell it.
He's leaving town for training next week and I asked him last week to have it removed before he leaves.
I asked him if he'd made arrangements today and he said he hadn't. I flipped the f**k out and started acting like a raving lunatic. I told him very clearly that I was sick of this motherf**kin desk in my motherf**kin house. He texted me an hour ago and told me it's being taken out tomorrow.
Why does the man make me turn into a shrew? I don't want to be one, I just want him to do his f**ling part.

Boy, really wants to make me get married.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you read the original post, you will see that he doesn't say he will do it, just that she tells him to do it.

Actually she says "he barely acknowledges me and then never does it" which I take to mean he just casually says "sure" or "mhm" and does t give it much thought after that. If Someone says that, they are in fact saying they will do it. Whether or not they actually intend to is up for debate.

.

He says "sure" because if he said "no, your damn cats messed it up, so you deal with it", he'd never hear the end of it. Seriously, why does she get to decide it's his problem? Since when is a penis required to call a junk company to take a desk away?

+1000

[Anonymous]

So, you're saying "don't get cats." Check.