Is it racist to only date someone of your own race? What about your own religion?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What about saying "I only want to date white/black/hispanic/indian people bc they are just like me?" Its not that you have an issue with people of the other race or even an attraction, its just that you prefer to date people who are of similar backgrounds/looks/cultures.

However, a person of your same race doesn't necessarily have the same background and culture as you. Class had a huge impact on how you grow up and what values you develop. The reason many college educated minorities marry out is that they want someone who is seen as intellectually and economically their equal. I have no issue with someone who says I want to prioritize a partner having an advanced degree over saying I want a particular skin color or language.

[Anonymous]

I dated many different races, but I clicked the best with my DH who is my same race. We had the same background, preferences, religion and similar upbringings. It's made it easier to understand where the other is coming from and not so many cultural differences.

For some reason, I've noticed that there's a very high correlation in spouses looking alike. I don't even mean the same race. My friends with wide eyes married wide eyed men, friends with curly hair married curly hair, blondes married blondes. I used to think married couples grew to look like each other, but I now just think that like marries like.

[Anonymous]

What if you're biracial? Should we only date other biracial people? This is why I find the social construct of race arbitrary. Should I try to find an individual who has the same exact mixed ancestry as I do? By the way, I'm already married. Coming from a multiracial family, I just usually find these discussions about race nauseating, but amusing. However, it's a great learning experience for me to see how people really think behind closed doors. I usually get a couple of good laughs, a few sighs, and some eye rolls when I read articles about race.

In my case, I could honestly say that race was not the determining factor in choosing my spouse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm black and would prefer that my son marry a black woman. I'm more open to my daughters marrying outside of the race.

Peculiar double standard.

+1000

Don't care.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What about saying "I only want to date white/black/hispanic/indian people bc they are just like me?" Its not that you have an issue with people of the other race or even an attraction, its just that you prefer to date people who are of similar backgrounds/looks/cultures.

However, a person of your same race doesn't necessarily have the same background and culture as you. Class had a huge impact on how you grow up and what values you develop. The reason many college educated minorities marry out is that they want someone who is seen as intellectually and economically their equal. I have no issue with someone who says I want to prioritize a partner having an advanced degree over saying I want a particular skin color or language.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What about saying "I only want to date white/black/hispanic/indian people bc they are just like me?" Its not that you have an issue with people of the other race or even an attraction, its just that you prefer to date people who are of similar backgrounds/looks/cultures.

However, a person of your same race doesn't necessarily have the same background and culture as you. Class had a huge impact on how you grow up and what values you develop. The reason many college educated minorities marry out is that they want someone who is seen as intellectually and economically their equal. I have no issue with someone who says I want to prioritize a partner having an advanced degree over saying I want a particular skin color or language.

I object to this premise. You seem to suggest that college educated minorities are hard to come by. Is that what you're saying?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What about saying "I only want to date white/black/hispanic/indian people bc they are just like me?" Its not that you have an issue with people of the other race or even an attraction, its just that you prefer to date people who are of similar backgrounds/looks/cultures.

However, a person of your same race doesn't necessarily have the same background and culture as you. Class had a huge impact on how you grow up and what values you develop. The reason many college educated minorities marry out is that they want someone who is seen as intellectually and economically their equal. I have no issue with someone who says I want to prioritize a partner having an advanced degree over saying I want a particular skin color or language.

I object to this premise. You seem to suggest that college educated minorities are hard to come by. Is that what you're saying?

Yes, sadly, this is still the case in many areas beyond the DMV bubble. When you travel to small towns in the South and Midwest, college attendance for everyone drops, but especially for non-whites.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm Black and my BFF is Jewish. She will under no circumstance date or marry anyone who isn't Jewish. She said it is imperative to "keep the race" going. I get it.

Another white BFF said that she "loved" screwing her African college classmate but that she would only marry a white guy. I get that also.

Preferences (based on whatever) don't equal racism.

Yes, but she will probably cheat on her spouse because she only married under social conditioning not love. Someone like this is a horrible person. She views black men as sexual beings and not as potential mates. This is one example of liberal racism at its finest. A black person is great to experiment with and use as a sex tool, but not great enough for marriage. What a sick individual. Yes, I'm aware that many white people do this and I find it quite disturbing. "Some" of these folks are the same type of people that seek sexual encounters with black people behind their spouses back. Unfortunately, there is an entire industry and market out there just for these type of racists. I just think to myself, their poor spouse doesn't even have a clue that they fetishized black people. I'm a child of an interracial union and I fully support interracial relationships. What I don't support is white people using minorities as their sex tool, but don't think highly of us to marry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What about saying "I only want to date white/black/hispanic/indian people bc they are just like me?" Its not that you have an issue with people of the other race or even an attraction, its just that you prefer to date people who are of similar backgrounds/looks/cultures.

However, a person of your same race doesn't necessarily have the same background and culture as you. Class had a huge impact on how you grow up and what values you develop. The reason many college educated minorities marry out is that they want someone who is seen as intellectually and economically their equal. I have no issue with someone who says I want to prioritize a partner having an advanced degree over saying I want a particular skin color or language.

I object to this premise. You seem to suggest that college educated minorities are hard to come by. Is that what you're saying?

Yes, sadly, this is still the case in many areas beyond the DMV bubble. When you travel to small towns in the South and Midwest, college attendance for everyone drops, but especially for non-whites.

Yes, but are there really any minorities in small town America?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm black and would prefer that my son marry a black woman. I'm more open to my daughters marrying outside of the race.

Peculiar double standard.

Not really. I plan to raise a successful, college-educated black man. Those are in relatively short supply.

What if your plans evaporate and you have a son who sucks at sports and school. Then can he marry any race?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm black and would prefer that my son marry a black woman. I'm more open to my daughters marrying outside of the race.

Peculiar double standard.

Not really. I plan to raise a successful, college-educated black man. Those are in relatively short supply.

What if your plans evaporate and you have a son who sucks at sports and school. Then can he marry any race?

Hmmm, why would you assume I expect him to excel in sports? He's 11 and doing quite well in school. If he begins to "suck" academically, he'll get a tutor. Not going to college is NOT an option.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm Black and my BFF is Jewish. She will under no circumstance date or marry anyone who isn't Jewish. She said it is imperative to "keep the race" going. I get it.

Another white BFF said that she "loved" screwing her African college classmate but that she would only marry a white guy. I get that also.

Preferences (based on whatever) don't equal racism.

Yes, but she will probably cheat on her spouse because she only married under social conditioning not love. Someone like this is a horrible person. She views black men as sexual beings and not as potential mates. This is one example of liberal racism at its finest. A black person is great to experiment with and use as a sex tool, but not great enough for marriage. What a sick individual. Yes, I'm aware that many white people do this and I find it quite disturbing. "Some" of these folks are the same type of people that seek sexual encounters with black people behind their spouses back. Unfortunately, there is an entire industry and market out there just for these type of racists. I just think to myself, their poor spouse doesn't even have a clue that they fetishized black people. I'm a child of an interracial union and I fully support interracial relationships. What I don't support is white people using minorities as their sex tool, but don't think highly of us to marry.

Wut?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What about saying "I only want to date white/black/hispanic/indian people bc they are just like me?" Its not that you have an issue with people of the other race or even an attraction, its just that you prefer to date people who are of similar backgrounds/looks/cultures.

However, a person of your same race doesn't necessarily have the same background and culture as you. Class had a huge impact on how you grow up and what values you develop. The reason many college educated minorities marry out is that they want someone who is seen as intellectually and economically their equal. I have no issue with someone who says I want to prioritize a partner having an advanced degree over saying I want a particular skin color or language.

I object to this premise. You seem to suggest that college educated minorities are hard to come by. Is that what you're saying?

Yes, sadly, this is still the case in many areas beyond the DMV bubble. When you travel to small towns in the South and Midwest, college attendance for everyone drops, but especially for non-whites.

Yes, but are there really any minorities in small town America?

Much of the South. I worked in public health in 3 states in the Deep South. My coworkers with Batchelor's (or higher)were usually whites of both sexes and black females. The Latinos and black males almost always had no college or a 2 year degree. I thought it was just a fluke for the field. As I socialized with more people though, I saw it was a broader pattern.
My cousins who live in the Midwest report the same phenomenon. I don't date exclusively in my race, but I do require a partner to be educated and gainfully employed. A friend who is AA is marrying a white guy who is in a trade. Her parents flipped because he doesn't have a degree. He insists that it's racism, but her entire family going back to the Reconstruction era has been college educated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm black and would prefer that my son marry a black woman. I'm more open to my daughters marrying outside of the race.

Peculiar double standard.

Not really. I plan to raise a successful, college-educated black man. Those are in relatively short supply.

What if your plans evaporate and you have a son who sucks at sports and school. Then can he marry any race?

Hmmm, why would you assume I expect him to excel in sports? He's 11 and doing quite well in school. If he begins to "suck" academically, he'll get a tutor. Not going to college is NOT an option.

What if he gets depression and fails out. Then can he marry another race?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm black and would prefer that my son marry a black woman. I'm more open to my daughters marrying outside of the race.

I totally get it! Let's be real here - in the majority of families, the woman is the one who "dictates" (for lack of better word) the family's dynamic regarding holiday's observations, cultural upbringing, connection with in laws (including grandparents), etc. A black woman as your daughter in law is much more likely to have less conflicts with your son's family since they share most of the same cultural values and experiences.

If your dd marries outside her race or not, it is not as relevant because she will make sure her children know and respect her part of their culture.