Is it racist to only date someone of your own race? What about your own religion?

[Anonymous]

As a person who dated across racial, ethnic, religious and educational lines before finally settling down with someone from the same race and a different religion, I have to say it all comes down to compatibility.

Do I love DH? Yes. Did I first date him because we had mutual but decidedly superficial sexual attraction? Of course we did. Why'd it last? We wanted the same things and grew together as a couple. Did any of this have to do with demographic data? Maybe, but so what? We've been happy together for two decades now.

Upshot: it's hard to find the right person. If you limit yourself demographically, it's that much harder. If you open yourself to true love from anyone, you may still wind up with someone with an almost identical demographic profile or somebody completely different according to the U.S. Census. However, you'll have a better chance of happiness if you put demographics aside and look for what you have in common in your hearts.

Sappy? Yes. Sentimental? Yes. True? Yes.

[Anonymous]

Everything and everybody is racist. Especially blacks, Hispanics , Asians and whites . The worst are liberal whites west of 16th street. But blacks say the n word the most. So maybe it's a toss up.

[Anonymous]

Damn, some people think everything is racist.

I agree with you OP. It's not racist to prefer to date someone of your own racial background or religion. To look negatively at them? Yes, then it is.

[Anonymous]

I don't give a f#ck about who other people prefer to date and I damn sure don't give a f#ck about what other people think of my personal dating preferences...I ain't dating a whole f#cking faith or ethnicity I'm dating one person got damnit!! And if shit don't work out with that one person and I decide to move on to someone else with the same characteristics then damnit that's my muthaf#ckin business!!

Damn...

[Anonymous]

I don't think it is racist, just dumb to limit your dating pool. And as evidenced by this thread and many others, people in America confuse culture with race, they aren't the same thing at.all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm black and would prefer that my son marry a black woman. I'm more open to my daughters marrying outside of the race.

I totally get it! Let's be real here - in the majority of families, the woman is the one who "dictates" (for lack of better word) the family's dynamic regarding holiday's observations, cultural upbringing, connection with in laws (including grandparents), etc. A black woman as your daughter in law is much more likely to have less conflicts with your son's family since they share most of the same cultural values and experiences.

If your dd marries outside her race or not, it is not as relevant because she will make sure her children know and respect her part of their culture.

Agreed. Women are also more prone to having drama. How often do we hear if fights between FIL and DH or BIL and DH? This forum is full of disputes with MILs and SILs.
If my kids marry non-AAs, I will make sure that their spouses receive some basic historical and cultural education about AA. "I didn't know." will NOT be available as an acceptable excuse for insulting an elderly relative or causing a clash with a neighbor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not racist if that's who you are only attracted to. That's a personal preference. But racist if you believe that your race should only marry your race.
In the middle is the person who can't understand how anyone would find a person of another race attractive or acceptable as a partner, but wouldn't want to keep people from interracial dating if that's what they want.
I'm AA (mixed but I identify as black). I find attractive men from many racial and ethnic groups with a preference from darker hair and skin, but a weakness for green eyes. I've dated AA, white, Latino, and south Asian men. I don't care who anyone else dates, marries, or has babies with. My own family is too racially mixed for me to be anything but open-minded about race.
I am less open-minded about religion. I was married to a man of a different faith background. Constant friction due to conflicting values and practices. I know only date within my own religion. However, I don't care if others date or marry across religious lines.

+1

I'm mixed as well and I couldn't agree with you more. Well said!

[Anonymous]

I'm an AA female and attracted to only Hispanic guys.

The Hispanics I've dated, are only attracted to AA females.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm black and would prefer that my son marry a black woman. I'm more open to my daughters marrying outside of the race.

Peculiar double standard.

Not really. I plan to raise a successful, college-educated black man. Those are in relatively short supply.

What if your plans evaporate and you have a son who sucks at sports and school. Then can he marry any race?

Hmmm, why would you assume I expect him to excel in sports? He's 11 and doing quite well in school. If he begins to "suck" academically, he'll get a tutor. Not going to college is NOT an option.

What if he gets depression and fails out. Then can he marry another race?

He can marry anyone he wants to marry. I gave my preference. Get over it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm Black and my BFF is Jewish. She will under no circumstance date or marry anyone who isn't Jewish. She said it is imperative to "keep the race" going. I get it.

Another white BFF said that she "loved" screwing her African college classmate but that she would only marry a white guy. I get that also.

Preferences (based on whatever) don't equal racism.

Yes, but she will probably cheat on her spouse because she only married under social conditioning not love. Someone like this is a horrible person. She views black men as sexual beings and not as potential mates. This is one example of liberal racism at its finest. A black person is great to experiment with and use as a sex tool, but not great enough for marriage. What a sick individual. Yes, I'm aware that many white people do this and I find it quite disturbing. "Some" of these folks are the same type of people that seek sexual encounters with black people behind their spouses back. Unfortunately, there is an entire industry and market out there just for these type of racists. I just think to myself, their poor spouse doesn't even have a clue that they fetishized black people. I'm a child of an interracial union and I fully support interracial relationships. What I don't support is white people using minorities as their sex tool, but don't think highly of us to marry.

Holy ridiculous outrage batman. My friend is not a racist at all. I used to "hang out" with an Italian guy that didn't speak a lick of English. He was so sexual and interesting and gorgeous that I was completely addicted. It. Was. Fun. My preference was to marry a Black man and raise Black children. I'm not a racist, am I? That big chip on your shoulder is going to make a bruise. Just because you're the product of an interracial union doesn't make them sacrosanct. Gay marriage makes way more sense to me than interracial relationships. Take that!

[Anonymous]

Green is the universal race women like (money)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Holy ridiculous outrage batman. My friend is not a racist at all. I used to "hang out" with an Italian guy that didn't speak a lick of English. He was so sexual and interesting and gorgeous that I was completely addicted. It. Was. Fun. My preference was to marry a Black man and raise Black children. I'm not a racist, am I? That big chip on your shoulder is going to make a bruise. Just because you're the product of an interracial union doesn't make them sacrosanct. Gay marriage makes way more sense to me than interracial relationships. Take that!

That's the beauty of personal relationships...they're between two people who care for one another so what "makes sense" to any other parties doesn't mean jack shit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Holy ridiculous outrage batman. My friend is not a racist at all. I used to "hang out" with an Italian guy that didn't speak a lick of English. He was so sexual and interesting and gorgeous that I was completely addicted. It. Was. Fun. My preference was to marry a Black man and raise Black children. I'm not a racist, am I? That big chip on your shoulder is going to make a bruise. Just because you're the product of an interracial union doesn't make them sacrosanct. Gay marriage makes way more sense to me than interracial relationships. Take that!

Oh yeah forgot to mention...if you're black you gonna be raising black children regardless of what ethnicity your husband is. That's how this country works.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Holy ridiculous outrage batman. My friend is not a racist at all. I used to "hang out" with an Italian guy that didn't speak a lick of English. He was so sexual and interesting and gorgeous that I was completely addicted. It. Was. Fun. My preference was to marry a Black man and raise Black children. I'm not a racist, am I? That big chip on your shoulder is going to make a bruise. Just because you're the product of an interracial union doesn't make them sacrosanct. Gay marriage makes way more sense to me than interracial relationships. Take that!

Oh yeah forgot to mention...if you're black you gonna be raising black children regardless of what ethnicity your husband is. That's how this country works.

Well not all bi- or multi-racial feel this way. Call Tiger Woods Black and you'll end up with a golf club upside your head.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Holy ridiculous outrage batman. My friend is not a racist at all. I used to "hang out" with an Italian guy that didn't speak a lick of English. He was so sexual and interesting and gorgeous that I was completely addicted. It. Was. Fun. My preference was to marry a Black man and raise Black children. I'm not a racist, am I? That big chip on your shoulder is going to make a bruise. Just because you're the product of an interracial union doesn't make them sacrosanct. Gay marriage makes way more sense to me than interracial relationships. Take that!

Oh yeah forgot to mention...if you're black you gonna be raising black children regardless of what ethnicity your husband is. That's how this country works.

Well not all bi- or multi-racial feel this way. Call Tiger Woods Black and you'll end up with a golf club upside your head.

And what race is his Mom? Goes to show you that when the Mom is not the minority in the relationship, the kids are screwy when it comes to self-identify.