Is it racist to only date someone of your own race? What about your own religion?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think it's racist. I just like men with darker skin. I wouldn't date a light-skinned black man, a white man, a light-skinned Asian, an albino..you get the point. I'm a light-skinned AA woman.

+1
I'm also a light skinned AA woman. I prefer darker skinned males. I've dated white guys but it was a clear case of personality trumping a physical preference. And even they were olive skinned rather than fair.

[Anonymous]

After reading this thread, it seems the answer is this: "My own decision is just a non-racist preference, but anyone else's decision I don't like must be racist."

[Anonymous]

I'm white, and typically date white guys, in part because I just meet more of them. The non-white guys I find attractive are typically the hottest ones that everyone finds attractive, so I think I'm just inherently more attracted to white guys in general. I have gone out with non-white guys, though, because I liked them. I feel like if a non-white guy has the same traits that I would want in a white guy (personality-wise, lifestyle, etc.) and I didn't date him, then yeah, that might make me a racist.

I typically prefer guys who are agnostic/christian, though I've dated jewish guys. It's easier on my very religious parents if I date guys who are Christian (or lapsed), though I'd rock that boat if I were in love with someone and not just casually dating.

[Anonymous]

I think it's natural to be drawn to your own race, but I also find that people who were raised as the 'only' or one of a few of a certain race in their area tend to go with whoever the majority race is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it's natural to be drawn to your own race, but I also find that people who were raised as the 'only' or one of a few of a certain race in their area tend to go with whoever the majority race is.

This seems especially true of AA males who were raised by white adoptive parents or biracial males raised by white moms. Of my white female friends and coworkers married to AA or biracial men, all married a woman who looked like the woman who raised them. I guess they are Mama's boys at heart. A few years ago, I dated a mixed black guy who had never before dated within his race. He was raised by a white Evangelical couple who had 5 adopted AA or biracial boys. Every older son married a white woman. The son that I dated was absolutely clueless about natural hair. He was both uncomfortable with it and fascinated by it. What happens when it gets wet? Why is the length and texture different when its wet vs dry? Why don't I shampoo every morning? After a few weeks of dating, he decided he couldn't get past the springy wildness that is my crowning glory (he asked me to relax it. Um, no!) and we broke up. I saw him three weeks later with a white woman with the same blonde pixie cut as his mom's FB photos. He loves what he knows.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's natural to be drawn to your own race, but I also find that people who were raised as the 'only' or one of a few of a certain race in their area tend to go with whoever the majority race is.

This seems especially true of AA males who were raised by white adoptive parents or biracial males raised by white moms. Of my white female friends and coworkers married to AA or biracial men, all married a woman who looked like the woman who raised them. I guess they are Mama's boys at heart. A few years ago, I dated a mixed black guy who had never before dated within his race. He was raised by a white Evangelical couple who had 5 adopted AA or biracial boys. Every older son married a white woman. The son that I dated was absolutely clueless about natural hair. He was both uncomfortable with it and fascinated by it. What happens when it gets wet? Why is the length and texture different when its wet vs dry? Why don't I shampoo every morning? After a few weeks of dating, he decided he couldn't get past the springy wildness that is my crowning glory (he asked me to relax it. Um, no!) and we broke up. I saw him three weeks later with a white woman with the same blonde pixie cut as his mom's FB photos. He loves what he knows.

I think this speaks to how some non-minority women do a piss poor job at raising biracial children. Some white Moms don't place enough emphasis on educating their children about their minority-side. It makes it even worse if they grow up in an environment where there is not a lot of diversity. It's sad really.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's natural to be drawn to your own race, but I also find that people who were raised as the 'only' or one of a few of a certain race in their area tend to go with whoever the majority race is.

This seems especially true of AA males who were raised by white adoptive parents or biracial males raised by white moms. Of my white female friends and coworkers married to AA or biracial men, all married a woman who looked like the woman who raised them. I guess they are Mama's boys at heart. A few years ago, I dated a mixed black guy who had never before dated within his race. He was raised by a white Evangelical couple who had 5 adopted AA or biracial boys. Every older son married a white woman. The son that I dated was absolutely clueless about natural hair. He was both uncomfortable with it and fascinated by it. What happens when it gets wet? Why is the length and texture different when its wet vs dry? Why don't I shampoo every morning? After a few weeks of dating, he decided he couldn't get past the springy wildness that is my crowning glory (he asked me to relax it. Um, no!) and we broke up. I saw him three weeks later with a white woman with the same blonde pixie cut as his mom's FB photos. He loves what he knows.

I think this speaks to how some non-minority women do a piss poor job at raising biracial children. Some white Moms don't place enough emphasis on educating their children about their minority-side. It makes it even worse if they grow up in an environment where there is not a lot of diversity. It's sad really.

Wait, are you saying a white mother has failed if her black son marries a white woman? Is she a half failure if he marries a mixed girl? What about an Asian or Hispanic daughter-in-law?

[Anonymous]

The thought of being with a dark skinned person sexually completely repulses me. It may be unfortunate, but it isn't racist.

[Anonymous]

Asian women are awesome.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's natural to be drawn to your own race, but I also find that people who were raised as the 'only' or one of a few of a certain race in their area tend to go with whoever the majority race is.

This seems especially true of AA males who were raised by white adoptive parents or biracial males raised by white moms. Of my white female friends and coworkers married to AA or biracial men, all married a woman who looked like the woman who raised them. I guess they are Mama's boys at heart. A few years ago, I dated a mixed black guy who had never before dated within his race. He was raised by a white Evangelical couple who had 5 adopted AA or biracial boys. Every older son married a white woman. The son that I dated was absolutely clueless about natural hair. He was both uncomfortable with it and fascinated by it. What happens when it gets wet? Why is the length and texture different when its wet vs dry? Why don't I shampoo every morning? After a few weeks of dating, he decided he couldn't get past the springy wildness that is my crowning glory (he asked me to relax it. Um, no!) and we broke up. I saw him three weeks later with a white woman with the same blonde pixie cut as his mom's FB photos. He loves what he knows.

I think this speaks to how some non-minority women do a piss poor job at raising biracial children. Some white Moms don't place enough emphasis on educating their children about their minority-side. It makes it even worse if they grow up in an environment where there is not a lot of diversity. It's sad really.

Wait, are you saying a white mother has failed if her black son marries a white woman? Is she a half failure if he marries a mixed girl? What about an Asian or Hispanic daughter-in-law?

No, that's not what I'm saying but if you bothered to read the pp, you'd see that that black boy had NO CLUE about AA people (confusion over hair, texture, etc). The absence of knowledge is what is sad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The thought of being with a dark skinned person sexually completely repulses me. It may be unfortunate, but it isn't racist.

Varicose veins on pale skin does the same to me. Amen, sister!

[Anonymous]

I think that when an Asian or black kid grows up in a mostly-white community, they are a lot more likely to date white because then they're not limiting their options. There were only about 4 black kids in our 450-person (midwestern) high school class, so they tended to go interracial. If I lived in an area where I was one of a small group of white people, I'm sure I'd be dating whatever the dominant population was, because I might not find the right fit out of just a few people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The thought of being with a dark skinned person sexually completely repulses me. It may be unfortunate, but it isn't racist.

Varicose veins on pale skin does the same to me. Amen, sister!

PP here. That would gross me out, too. I would also never be attracted to anyone with a creepy goatee.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's natural to be drawn to your own race, but I also find that people who were raised as the 'only' or one of a few of a certain race in their area tend to go with whoever the majority race is.

This seems especially true of AA males who were raised by white adoptive parents or biracial males raised by white moms. Of my white female friends and coworkers married to AA or biracial men, all married a woman who looked like the woman who raised them. I guess they are Mama's boys at heart. A few years ago, I dated a mixed black guy who had never before dated within his race. He was raised by a white Evangelical couple who had 5 adopted AA or biracial boys. Every older son married a white woman. The son that I dated was absolutely clueless about natural hair. He was both uncomfortable with it and fascinated by it. What happens when it gets wet? Why is the length and texture different when its wet vs dry? Why don't I shampoo every morning? After a few weeks of dating, he decided he couldn't get past the springy wildness that is my crowning glory (he asked me to relax it. Um, no!) and we broke up. I saw him three weeks later with a white woman with the same blonde pixie cut as his mom's FB photos. He loves what he knows.

I think this speaks to how some non-minority women do a piss poor job at raising biracial children. Some white Moms don't place enough emphasis on educating their children about their minority-side. It makes it even worse if they grow up in an environment where there is not a lot of diversity. It's sad really.

Why are you blaming the mothers? How about the minority fathers do the teaching about minority culture. Wouldn't that make more sense?

- Biracial woman (black father, white mother)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think that when an Asian or black kid grows up in a mostly-white community, they are a lot more likely to date white because then they're not limiting their options. There were only about 4 black kids in our 450-person (midwestern) high school class, so they tended to go interracial. If I lived in an area where I was one of a small group of white people, I'm sure I'd be dating whatever the dominant population was, because I might not find the right fit out of just a few people.

Except so many keep dating only whites when they leave those small communities and move to more diverse areas. Any AA or Asian guy who lives in the DMV and claims that he has to date only white girls due to limited non-white women is lying. He should man up and say he only likes white women. And that's ok.