Is it racist to only date someone of your own race? What about your own religion?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm Black and my BFF is Jewish. She will under no circumstance date or marry anyone who isn't Jewish. She said it is imperative to "keep the race" going. I get it.

Another white BFF said that she "loved" screwing her African college classmate but that she would only marry a white guy. I get that also.

Preferences (based on whatever) don't equal racism.

I actually think the bolded is racism--clearly, she is attracted to her classmate, so it's not that she just doesn't find black men attractive. Thinking that an entire race is good enough to sleep with but not acceptable to marry sounds like racism to me. I would understand not wanting to marry someone from Africa if you were concerned about different cultural expectations and values--my cousin is married to a man from Ghana, and there are some real problems in their marriage based on cultural differences--but not wanting to marry someone just based on skin color ("she would only marry a white guy") is racism.

[Anonymous]

I'm a white guy who only has sex with Asian females. I get it. It is a preference.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm black and would prefer that my son marry a black woman. I'm more open to my daughters marrying outside of the race.

Peculiar double standard.

Don't be naive. Nothing peculiar. Black man with a white woman and they gonna stare at him. Black woman with a white man and it's breezy. Plus if a white dad flies into a rage at school "he's just a passionate dad who cares about his son's welfare". The black dad does that "Wow what an angry black man".

Who gonna stare at him? And what's up with your atrocious grammar? And what's with does your strange non sequitur about flying into a rage at school have to do with dating outside your race?

Don't play dumb. When black people get mad/outraged, folks automatically get nervous and think we're able to get physical.

[Anonymous]

No and no. These are individual personal preferences based on attraction. Judge if you want, but if you're not attracted to somebody, dating that person wastes everyone's time. Would you demand that gays only date heterosexually and remain closeted? Dating somebody for whom you hold no attraction is a rough equivalent (feel free to flame, I just don't care).

It's better to be honest about yourself.

[Anonymous]

"Thinking that an entire race is good enough to sleep with but not acceptable to marry sounds like racism to me."

I totally agree. Date who you want for whatever values/appearances turn you on, but if it's not someone you'd marry, based on race, that's just sad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm black and would prefer that my son marry a black woman. I'm more open to my daughters marrying outside of the race.

Peculiar double standard.

Don't be naive. Nothing peculiar. Black man with a white woman and they gonna stare at him. Black woman with a white man and it's breezy. Plus if a white dad flies into a rage at school "he's just a passionate dad who cares about his son's welfare". The black dad does that "Wow what an angry black man".

Who gonna stare at him? And what's up with your atrocious grammar? And what's with does your strange non sequitur about flying into a rage at school have to do with dating outside your race?

Don't play dumb. When black people get mad/outraged, folks automatically get nervous and think we're able to get physical.

You know what? It really doesn't matter what other people think. If you're attracted to somebody and society tells you "no don't do that" and you don't, you're not that great a date anyway. You're either a tool or a doormat = not great mate material. The important thing is to follow your heart.

[Anonymous]

"I'm a white guy who only has sex with Asian females. I get it. It is a preference. "

as a white mother to multiethnic children I am going to be teaching my very asian looking daughters to stay hella far from guys like you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"I'm a white guy who only has sex with Asian females. I get it. It is a preference. "

as a white mother to multiethnic children I am going to be teaching my very asian looking daughters to stay hella far from guys like you.

Fine. You're both fine. Just because you disapprove of that guy doesn't make either of you right. It's a free country.

[Anonymous]

I'm a white girl who grew up the minority in PG County, but I've never been attracted to black boys/guys/men and I've wondered why. My dad dated black women before he married my mom, and both of my parents are such idealistic liberals, they would've been thrilled if I'd brought home a black guy. I find my lack of attraction puzzling.

(As an aside that I know is NOT representative of all interracial relationships, for every white girl I know who has a preference for black men, dating black men was a taboo -- either because their parents disapproved or because they were from all-white areas and black people were exotic.)

[Anonymous]

Do we assume that all non-Asian guys with a strong preference for Asian females are basing their attraction on stereotypes? My brother likes very petite women with long hair. Most women he dates are Korean. Koreans and AA are very compatible. I don't assume the women who date him are just looking for a green card or access to military housing & healthcare. They want a 6'2" muscular black guy who is very protective of his ladies. He also dated a few Latinas and all were tiny with long straight hair. He says he isn't attracted to tall or curvy women. His last Korean GF was darker-skinned than me so I don't think it's skin color related.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:http://www.slate.com/articles/news_and_politics/politics/2014/04/okcupid_and_race_is_it_racist_to_date_only_people_of_your_own_race.html

I disagree with the article. I think racism is when someone looks down on someone or finds them to be inferior in some way solely due to their race. However, we are all entitled to have personal preferences in terms of appearance, interests, and particularly in seeking a life partner of a similar background. After all, that sort of commonality is often very helpful in building a relationship.

I only wanted to marry someone that shared my religion - doesnt mean I think other religions are bad or inferior to mine, but I just felt like I wanted to raise kids with a certain set of beliefs and its considerably easier when your partner shares those beliefs. I remember getting some pushback from friends to give guys a chance, but I certainly never felt my preferences were "Racist."

Absolutely not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm black and would prefer that my son marry a black woman. I'm more open to my daughters marrying outside of the race.

Peculiar double standard.

+1000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For race, what if you just dont find that other race attractive? Why cant someone prefer light or dark skin the same way they would prefer short or tall, thin or round? Doesnt mean the other is bad, just a personal physical preference for attraction.

If you don't find someone attractive, there's nothing wrong with that. If you avoid a certain ethnic group or you think you are better than a specific ethnic group, then you are racist. If someone from another ethnic group asks you out and you say "no thanks" it's not an issue. IF you say "No because you're (insert ethnic group)" then it's racist.

I'm actually in an interracial marriage. I fell in love with DH because of his personality, not because of the color of his skin. And when he asked me out, I was flattered. The difference in skin color never entered my mind.

[Anonymous]

I've never ruled out dating any particular race.

I have, however, ruled out dating people from a few particular religions.

[Anonymous]

What about saying "I only want to date white/black/hispanic/indian people bc they are just like me?" Its not that you have an issue with people of the other race or even an attraction, its just that you prefer to date people who are of similar backgrounds/looks/cultures.