Is it racist to only date someone of your own race? What about your own religion?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Naveen Andrews? Yuck. Looks too much like Bert from Sesame Street.

Dang, what Sesame Street did you watch where Bert was so hot???

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think it's racist. It's just a personal taste. You like what you like.
Being black, I get the same thing even when I date within my race. People told me that I must be "color struck" when I dated too many light skinned women in a row. Some (semi) joked that I must hate my heritage, because they'd never seen me with someone who didn't have a relaxer. When I dated a woman with dreads, they didn't like her because it reinforced the earlier light-skinned thing.

Now that I'm interested in a white lady I met through a friend I expect all hell to break loose.

Ever dated a dark-skinned black woman? If not, perhaps you are color struck.

Color struck is a whole separate conversation.

Can we say Pharrell Williams, 80% of Black male professional athletes!!!

That's the thing. I've dated about an equal amount from every shade. I don't have a preference. My last girlfriend was darker than me, and I'm about Don Cheadle's complexion. I understand the history of the color struck thing, but given its origins I feel that it's a valid component of this discussion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's natural to be drawn to your own race, but I also find that people who were raised as the 'only' or one of a few of a certain race in their area tend to go with whoever the majority race is.

This seems especially true of AA males who were raised by white adoptive parents or biracial males raised by white moms. Of my white female friends and coworkers married to AA or biracial men, all married a woman who looked like the woman who raised them. I guess they are Mama's boys at heart. A few years ago, I dated a mixed black guy who had never before dated within his race. He was raised by a white Evangelical couple who had 5 adopted AA or biracial boys. Every older son married a white woman. The son that I dated was absolutely clueless about natural hair. He was both uncomfortable with it and fascinated by it. What happens when it gets wet? Why is the length and texture different when its wet vs dry? Why don't I shampoo every morning? After a few weeks of dating, he decided he couldn't get past the springy wildness that is my crowning glory (he asked me to relax it. Um, no!) and we broke up. I saw him three weeks later with a white woman with the same blonde pixie cut as his mom's FB photos. He loves what he knows.

I think this speaks to how some non-minority women do a piss poor job at raising biracial children. Some white Moms don't place enough emphasis on educating their children about their minority-side. It makes it even worse if they grow up in an environment where there is not a lot of diversity. It's sad really.

Why are you blaming the mothers? How about the minority fathers do the teaching about minority culture. Wouldn't that make more sense?

- Biracial woman (black father, white mother)

Nope, because, when it comes to stuff like this, mothers rule the house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For race, what if you just dont find that other race attractive? Why cant someone prefer light or dark skin the same way they would prefer short or tall, thin or round? Doesnt mean the other is bad, just a personal physical preference for attraction.

This.

While I've certainly known some beautiful AA women, for the most part typical AA features just aren't particularly attractive to me. Same with South Asians. And blonde/redheaded whites, for that matter. I tend to be attracted to brunette whites and East Asian women, but I don't expect everyone else to turned on by those features.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For race, what if you just dont find that other race attractive? Why cant someone prefer light or dark skin the same way they would prefer short or tall, thin or round? Doesnt mean the other is bad, just a personal physical preference for attraction.

This.

While I've certainly known some beautiful AA women, for the most part typical AA features just aren't particularly attractive to me. Same with South Asians. And blonde/redheaded whites, for that matter. I tend to be attracted to brunette whites and East Asian women, but I don't expect everyone else to turned on by those features.

What are typical AA features? Even if you simply looked at sub-Saharan Africa, you'd find incredible diversity in facial features, skin color, and hair texture. Once you factor in the fact that most AAs are racial mixed with white European and Amerindian to at least some degree and not "pure" black, you have way too much variation to claim there are any typical AA features. Please don't tell me you think that all AA's have "thick lips" and "flat noses". If so, I'm going to ask what pancake boxes you've been staring at for too long. My friend is "100%" Korean and her nose is flatter than that of any woman in my family. My friend who is a blonde Greek has thinner lips than mine, but much "thicker" than my mother's. As for the rear end, the Kardashians and Coco have proved it's not just black women with curvaceous butts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For race, what if you just dont find that other race attractive? Why cant someone prefer light or dark skin the same way they would prefer short or tall, thin or round? Doesnt mean the other is bad, just a personal physical preference for attraction.

This.

While I've certainly known some beautiful AA women, for the most part typical AA features just aren't particularly attractive to me. Same with South Asians. And blonde/redheaded whites, for that matter. I tend to be attracted to brunette whites and East Asian women, but I don't expect everyone else to turned on by those features.

What are typical AA features? Even if you simply looked at sub-Saharan Africa, you'd find incredible diversity in facial features, skin color, and hair texture. Once you factor in the fact that most AAs are racial mixed with white European and Amerindian to at least some degree and not "pure" black, you have way too much variation to claim there are any typical AA features. Please don't tell me you think that all AA's have "thick lips" and "flat noses". If so, I'm going to ask what pancake boxes you've been staring at for too long. My friend is "100%" Korean and her nose is flatter than that of any woman in my family. My friend who is a blonde Greek has thinner lips than mine, but much "thicker" than my mother's. As for the rear end, the Kardashians and Coco have proved it's not just black women with curvaceous butts.

Exactly, people here are afraid to own up to their own biases. There's a second layer after the issue you point out, which is that even if there were physical characteristics that could uniformly be assigned to every member of a particular ethnic group, what has led people to find or not find such features "attractive?" People don't form their preferences in a vacuum. They are a reflection of the environment that they grew up in, and often, there are racial biases in these environments. Based on ethnic make up and population distribution, it's estimated that if people in the US paired up randomly without social conditioning, marriages would be about 30% interracial, which is way higher than the actual percentage.

Not finding anyone of a different race attractive or dating exclusively within one's own ethnic group may not be racist per se (though justifying it by pretending that all members of another race share a trait that one finds unattractive is the definition of racism), I would be hard pressed to believe that race was not a factor in such an outcome, particularly in a place like DC where options are open. I'm not saying there's anything inherently wrong about this, as people ultimately have the right to decide what they find attractive.

[Anonymous]

No it's not, however it is racist if you judge someone who does.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm black and would prefer that my son marry a black woman. I'm more open to my daughters marrying outside of the race.

very weird

very VERY weird

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For race, what if you just dont find that other race attractive? Why cant someone prefer light or dark skin the same way they would prefer short or tall, thin or round? Doesnt mean the other is bad, just a personal physical preference for attraction.

This.

While I've certainly known some beautiful AA women, for the most part typical AA features just aren't particularly attractive to me. Same with South Asians. And blonde/redheaded whites, for that matter. I tend to be attracted to brunette whites and East Asian women, but I don't expect everyone else to turned on by those features.

What are typical AA features? Even if you simply looked at sub-Saharan Africa, you'd find incredible diversity in facial features, skin color, and hair texture. Once you factor in the fact that most AAs are racial mixed with white European and Amerindian to at least some degree and not "pure" black, you have way too much variation to claim there are any typical AA features. Please don't tell me you think that all AA's have "thick lips" and "flat noses". If so, I'm going to ask what pancake boxes you've been staring at for too long. My friend is "100%" Korean and her nose is flatter than that of any woman in my family. My friend who is a blonde Greek has thinner lips than mine, but much "thicker" than my mother's. As for the rear end, the Kardashians and Coco have proved it's not just black women with curvaceous butts.

I thought Coco's ass had implants.

no?

That is ONE large ass, btw.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's natural to be drawn to your own race, but I also find that people who were raised as the 'only' or one of a few of a certain race in their area tend to go with whoever the majority race is.

This seems especially true of AA males who were raised by white adoptive parents or biracial males raised by white moms. Of my white female friends and coworkers married to AA or biracial men, all married a woman who looked like the woman who raised them. I guess they are Mama's boys at heart. A few years ago, I dated a mixed black guy who had never before dated within his race. He was raised by a white Evangelical couple who had 5 adopted AA or biracial boys. Every older son married a white woman. The son that I dated was absolutely clueless about natural hair. He was both uncomfortable with it and fascinated by it. What happens when it gets wet? Why is the length and texture different when its wet vs dry? Why don't I shampoo every morning? After a few weeks of dating, he decided he couldn't get past the springy wildness that is my crowning glory (he asked me to relax it. Um, no!) and we broke up. I saw him three weeks later with a white woman with the same blonde pixie cut as his mom's FB photos. He loves what he knows.

I think this speaks to how some non-minority women do a piss poor job at raising biracial children. Some white Moms don't place enough emphasis on educating their children about their minority-side. It makes it even worse if they grow up in an environment where there is not a lot of diversity. It's sad really.

What?

My friend is half white. Her biological dad was black. Her white mother lives with them and helps with the kids. My friend's husband is black.

They send the boys to private school where they are surrounded by mostly white kids. So my friend, who would be labeled black by society, is doing a shitty job raising her boys?

What the fuck planet did you fall from?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm Black and my BFF is Jewish. She will under no circumstance date or marry anyone who isn't Jewish. She said it is imperative to "keep the race" going. I get it.

Another white BFF said that she "loved" screwing her African college classmate but that she would only marry a white guy. I get that also.

Preferences (based on whatever) don't equal racism.

I actually think the bolded is racism--clearly, she is attracted to her classmate, so it's not that she just doesn't find black men attractive. Thinking that an entire race is good enough to sleep with but not acceptable to marry sounds like racism to me. I would understand not wanting to marry someone from Africa if you were concerned about different cultural expectations and values--my cousin is married to a man from Ghana, and there are some real problems in their marriage based on cultural differences--but not wanting to marry someone just based on skin color ("she would only marry a white guy") is racism.

I agree.

Your BFF (nice HS language btw) is a racist.

What if a white guy said he LOVED screwing you but refused to ever bring you home to meet his parents and ask you out with his friends? That's OK?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For race, what if you just dont find that other race attractive? Why cant someone prefer light or dark skin the same way they would prefer short or tall, thin or round? Doesnt mean the other is bad, just a personal physical preference for attraction.

This.

While I've certainly known some beautiful AA women, for the most part typical AA features just aren't particularly attractive to me. Same with South Asians. And blonde/redheaded whites, for that matter. I tend to be attracted to brunette whites and East Asian women, but I don't expect everyone else to turned on by those features.

What are typical AA features? Even if you simply looked at sub-Saharan Africa, you'd find incredible diversity in facial features, skin color, and hair texture. Once you factor in the fact that most AAs are racial mixed with white European and Amerindian to at least some degree and not "pure" black, you have way too much variation to claim there are any typical AA features. Please don't tell me you think that all AA's have "thick lips" and "flat noses". If so, I'm going to ask what pancake boxes you've been staring at for too long. My friend is "100%" Korean and her nose is flatter than that of any woman in my family. My friend who is a blonde Greek has thinner lips than mine, but much "thicker" than my mother's. As for the rear end, the Kardashians and Coco have proved it's not just black women with curvaceous butts.

Oh for fuck's sake, you fucking know what I mean, you stupid, contentious fuck.