Is it racist to only date someone of your own race? What about your own religion?

[Anonymous]

http://www.slate.com/articles/news_and_politics/politics/2014/04/okcupid_and_race_is_it_racist_to_date_only_people_of_your_own_race.html

I disagree with the article. I think racism is when someone looks down on someone or finds them to be inferior in some way solely due to their race. However, we are all entitled to have personal preferences in terms of appearance, interests, and particularly in seeking a life partner of a similar background. After all, that sort of commonality is often very helpful in building a relationship.

I only wanted to marry someone that shared my religion - doesnt mean I think other religions are bad or inferior to mine, but I just felt like I wanted to raise kids with a certain set of beliefs and its considerably easier when your partner shares those beliefs. I remember getting some pushback from friends to give guys a chance, but I certainly never felt my preferences were "Racist."

[Anonymous]

I think it's racist if someone is unwilling to date outside outside their own race. I think religious preferences are different because rerligioj so heavily impacts your values, traditions, how you want to raise your children, etc.

I'm a liberal Protestant Christian and I knew I did not want to marry an atheist, an evangelical Christian fundamentalist (or any kind of fundamentalist, for that matter), and that I was not willing to raise my children Catholic. Those were dealbreakers for me.

[Anonymous]

I'm black and would prefer that my son marry a black woman. I'm more open to my daughters marrying outside of the race.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm black and would prefer that my son marry a black woman. I'm more open to my daughters marrying outside of the race.

Peculiar double standard.

[Anonymous]

For race, what if you just dont find that other race attractive? Why cant someone prefer light or dark skin the same way they would prefer short or tall, thin or round? Doesnt mean the other is bad, just a personal physical preference for attraction.

[Anonymous]

I'm Black and my BFF is Jewish. She will under no circumstance date or marry anyone who isn't Jewish. She said it is imperative to "keep the race" going. I get it.

Another white BFF said that she "loved" screwing her African college classmate but that she would only marry a white guy. I get that also.

Preferences (based on whatever) don't equal racism.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm black and would prefer that my son marry a black woman. I'm more open to my daughters marrying outside of the race.

Peculiar double standard.

Don't be naive. Nothing peculiar. Black man with a white woman and they gonna stare at him. Black woman with a white man and it's breezy. Plus if a white dad flies into a rage at school "he's just a passionate dad who cares about his son's welfare". The black dad does that "Wow what an angry black man".

[Anonymous]

The article goes into too many tangents. It starts off asking if it's racist, then goes into experiences of multiculturalism, then onto a Phd dissertation and onto breaking bread with other races.

I do think that interpersonal interactions, such as breaking bread, is an effective way to bring down stereotypes and community learned racism and think that part of the article is worthy of a discussion. The title about dating and racism though is off base.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm black and would prefer that my son marry a black woman. I'm more open to my daughters marrying outside of the race.

Peculiar double standard.

Not really. I plan to raise a successful, college-educated black man. Those are in relatively short supply.

[Anonymous]

I sure hope this thread doesn't go the way of the Zoo thread.

[Anonymous]

I'm white and I would consider dating outside of my race but frankly, I am not and have never been attracted to men of other races. It's very seldom that I am.

Except... I would totally date Naveen Andrews.


I am good friends with plenty of both genders outside of my race, though! Not racist at all, just personal preference on who I am attracted to (which is an absolute must for my potential husband...regardless of whether that is "shallow").

[Anonymous]

Naveen Andrews? Yuck. Looks too much like Bert from Sesame Street.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm black and would prefer that my son marry a black woman. I'm more open to my daughters marrying outside of the race.

Peculiar double standard.

Don't be naive. Nothing peculiar. Black man with a white woman and they gonna stare at him. Black woman with a white man and it's breezy. Plus if a white dad flies into a rage at school "he's just a passionate dad who cares about his son's welfare". The black dad does that "Wow what an angry black man".

Who gonna stare at him? And what's up with your atrocious grammar? And what's with does your strange non sequitur about flying into a rage at school have to do with dating outside your race?

[Anonymous]

Not racist if that's who you are only attracted to. That's a personal preference. But racist if you believe that your race should only marry your race.
In the middle is the person who can't understand how anyone would find a person of another race attractive or acceptable as a partner, but wouldn't want to keep people from interracial dating if that's what they want.
I'm AA (mixed but I identify as black). I find attractive men from many racial and ethnic groups with a preference from darker hair and skin, but a weakness for green eyes. I've dated AA, white, Latino, and south Asian men. I don't care who anyone else dates, marries, or has babies with. My own family is too racially mixed for me to be anything but open-minded about race.
I am less open-minded about religion. I was married to a man of a different faith background. Constant friction due to conflicting values and practices. I know only date within my own religion. However, I don't care if others date or marry across religious lines.

[Anonymous]

I'd never say never, but I didn't ever find myself attracted to a man outside my race. I'm married to a man of my race. That doesn't make me a racist. We all have preferences.

And as I'm already married, whether or not I would consider dating outside my race is irrelevant.