DH just doesn’t get it (Mother’s Day edition)

[Anonymous]

How often does he care for your 3 small children solo, OP? How often does he take them out of the house alone?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH asked what I wanted for Mother’s Day. I told him I’d like to go to a local hotel by myself the night before Mother’s Day to get some spa treatments, order room service for dinner, relax, and catch up on sleep. For Mother’s Day itself, I said I wanted to go to brunch with the whole family (DH and our 3 kids) the next morning and spend the rest of the day together, maybe doing something outside if the weather is nice. I told DH that is all I wanted, no need to buy a gift.

DH did NOT seem excited about this plan. He said something like “that’s fine, but I can’t believe you don’t want to spend the day with the family.” This despite the fact that I DO want to spend the day with our family. I just also asked to do my own thing the night before. Also, I’m a SAHM to young kids. I’m spending time with the family all day every day.

Just venting I guess. I’m just disappointed that when I finally asked for what I really wanted (the solo hotel stay instead of gifts), DH was judgmental. He finally agreed to it but insisted on hiring a babysitter for the night that I’m gone - which I am fine with! But there was no need to make me feel bad for asking for what I want.

Some of you don’t seem to get that Mother’s Day isn’t something your spouse does for you, it’s when he helps the kids figure out something to do for you. You know, teach them how to give gifts and be grateful for what you do for them. Getting away from them isn’t what they want to give you for Mother’s Day.

Hmm…we should tell this to the men who want to have sex on Father’s Day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Its so lame he had to hire a sitter. That tells me everything I need to know about why YOU need and deserve a break.

I bet he leaves the kids with the sitter and shows up at her hotel room.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH asked what I wanted for Mother’s Day. I told him I’d like to go to a local hotel by myself the night before Mother’s Day to get some spa treatments, order room service for dinner, relax, and catch up on sleep. For Mother’s Day itself, I said I wanted to go to brunch with the whole family (DH and our 3 kids) the next morning and spend the rest of the day together, maybe doing something outside if the weather is nice. I told DH that is all I wanted, no need to buy a gift.

DH did NOT seem excited about this plan. He said something like “that’s fine, but I can’t believe you don’t want to spend the day with the family.” This despite the fact that I DO want to spend the day with our family. I just also asked to do my own thing the night before. Also, I’m a SAHM to young kids. I’m spending time with the family all day every day.

Just venting I guess. I’m just disappointed that when I finally asked for what I really wanted (the solo hotel stay instead of gifts), DH was judgmental. He finally agreed to it but insisted on hiring a babysitter for the night that I’m gone - which I am fine with! But there was no need to make me feel bad for asking for what I want.

Just to be clear, your husband isn't judgment, he's a loser who can't take care of your children. Tread carefully - it sounds like he uses you. I hope you're financially set up.

Is he the father?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How often does he care for your 3 small children solo, OP? How often does he take them out of the house alone?

+

Describe his parenting involvement with baby #1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Its so lame he had to hire a sitter. That tells me everything I need to know about why YOU need and deserve a break.

+1000

Nothing more cringe than someone who can't take care of their own kids for a night.

DH used to offer exactly what OP wants when my kids were little. I was a working mom with a very involved working dad/DH so I just wanted to spend the time together as family but if I were a SAHM with a loser DH who could not take care of our two kids by himself, I imagine that would be a perfect gift. But then he would not have offered it. Of course you should get a break, OP. Don't let him make you feel guilty.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH asked what I wanted for Mother’s Day. I told him I’d like to go to a local hotel by myself the night before Mother’s Day to get some spa treatments, order room service for dinner, relax, and catch up on sleep. For Mother’s Day itself, I said I wanted to go to brunch with the whole family (DH and our 3 kids) the next morning and spend the rest of the day together, maybe doing something outside if the weather is nice. I told DH that is all I wanted, no need to buy a gift.

DH did NOT seem excited about this plan. He said something like “that’s fine, but I can’t believe you don’t want to spend the day with the family.” This despite the fact that I DO want to spend the day with our family. I just also asked to do my own thing the night before. Also, I’m a SAHM to young kids. I’m spending time with the family all day every day.

Just venting I guess. I’m just disappointed that when I finally asked for what I really wanted (the solo hotel stay instead of gifts), DH was judgmental. He finally agreed to it but insisted on hiring a babysitter for the night that I’m gone - which I am fine with! But there was no need to make me feel bad for asking for what I want.

Some of you don’t seem to get that Mother’s Day isn’t something your spouse does for you, it’s when he helps the kids figure out something to do for you. You know, teach them how to give gifts and be grateful for what you do for them. Getting away from them isn’t what they want to give you for Mother’s Day.

Hmm…we should tell this to the men who want to have sex on Father’s Day.

DH says he likes to celebrate how it all started on father's day!

[Anonymous]

He’s bummed that he has to put in actual effort to give you something you want.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How often does he care for your 3 small children solo, OP? How often does he take them out of the house alone?

Probably never, which is why OP desperately wants alone time as a “gift.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH asked what I wanted for Mother’s Day. I told him I’d like to go to a local hotel by myself the night before Mother’s Day to get some spa treatments, order room service for dinner, relax, and catch up on sleep. For Mother’s Day itself, I said I wanted to go to brunch with the whole family (DH and our 3 kids) the next morning and spend the rest of the day together, maybe doing something outside if the weather is nice. I told DH that is all I wanted, no need to buy a gift.

DH did NOT seem excited about this plan. He said something like “that’s fine, but I can’t believe you don’t want to spend the day with the family.” This despite the fact that I DO want to spend the day with our family. I just also asked to do my own thing the night before. Also, I’m a SAHM to young kids. I’m spending time with the family all day every day.

Just venting I guess. I’m just disappointed that when I finally asked for what I really wanted (the solo hotel stay instead of gifts), DH was judgmental. He finally agreed to it but insisted on hiring a babysitter for the night that I’m gone - which I am fine with! But there was no need to make me feel bad for asking for what I want.

Some of you don’t seem to get that Mother’s Day isn’t something your spouse does for you, it’s when he helps the kids figure out something to do for you. You know, teach them how to give gifts and be grateful for what you do for them. Getting away from them isn’t what they want to give you for Mother’s Day.

Says who? As far as I know there isn’t some Mother’s day statute that dictates how it should properly be celebrated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He’s bummed that he has to put in actual effort to give you something you want.

]

Yes. He was hoping you would be satisfied with grocery store flowers and a gross Giant cake. Zero effort.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh, he gets it. He just doesn’t want to have to deal with 3 kids on his own for a night.

+1

[Anonymous]

They asked what I wanted and I said I'd love for them to clean their rooms and act really nice towards each other the whole day. They hated that answer.

PP I know this wasn't intended to be funny but I laughed out loud at work. I see you sister!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Very weird...on your end.

+1 very dramatic

[Anonymous]

Hiring a babysitter for the night you're gone is very, very odd. He's the father of these children correct?

You both sound very, very odd to me. You sound demanding and he sounds irresponsible.

But you could just be trolling us all. That would make the most sense here.