He's vacationing with his ex-wife.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So you wouldn’t be ok with him being part of the family Christmas photo?

Lol. I’d encourage him to go work things out with “the family” and move on to someone available.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think my kids would have appreciated an opportunity to vacation with both parents at age 10. It would have been awful for me (my XH was abusive) so I never considered it.

That's not the issue though. I'm sure the kids will love it, as I'm sure they'd love if Mom & Dad got back together. OP is asking if YOU would be okay dating a man who did this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So you wouldn’t be ok with him being part of the family Christmas photo?

OP: Lol, I encourage it. Say "cheese", MFer.

[Anonymous]

I would much rather date someone who has positive relationship with their ex with whom they co-parent rather than someone with an antagonist relationship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would much rather date someone who has positive relationship with their ex with whom they co-parent rather than someone with an antagonist relationship.

OP: There's no middle ground between antagonist relationships and vacationing together? I think it's lovely when exes have a positive relationship with one another. I celebrate that! But vacationing together is way over the top.

[Anonymous]

I'm divorced and vacation with my Ds and ex. We are not romantically involved. I do it because he pays for it and I'd rather DCs vacation with his parents than with exH and his current GF whoever that is at the time. exDH won't deal with DCs by himself for a week, has to have someone to make his life easy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You’re insecure AF.

You'd be cool with the guy you're seeing traveling across the country to spend a major holiday with his ex-wife? I guess I must be insecure too then.

If you’re going to date a guy with kids, you should be glad he’s making the effort.

Yeah, no. “Making an effort” means spending time with his kids himself, not traveling with his ex to see her parents. Yes, that means he will celebrate some holidays with the kids not on the actual calendar day. Welcome to divorce.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm divorced and vacation with my Ds and ex. We are not romantically involved. I do it because he pays for it and I'd rather DCs vacation with his parents than with exH and his current GF whoever that is at the time. exDH won't deal with DCs by himself for a week, has to have someone to make his life easy.

Not trying to be snarky, but don't you think that's extremely confusing for your kid? If they seem mom & dad getting along so well on vacation, do you think they wonders why you can't get along so well and live together again? Or they assume you ARE romantically involved (because most people would) and they remain hopeful for no reason?

[Anonymous]

You are a free booty call.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think my kids would have appreciated an opportunity to vacation with both parents at age 10. It would have been awful for me (my XH was abusive) so I never considered it.

Hi! ACOD here. My parents tried doing things like joint holiday celebrations (at the recommendation of my mother’s quack therapist). It was awful and every one of my several siblings and I (and we’re all very different types of people) hated it.

[Anonymous]

Have you tried dating younger childless widower?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are a free booty call.

OP: Becoming clear...

[Anonymous]

I was at a small gathering last week with a friend, his ex wife and her new husband. Walked in on conversation where h he was finalize details of winter break trip with his ex wife’s husband. It will be him, ex, new husband and two kids, 11 and 14. He puts the kids first and though they had their issues while married, he genuinely happy to see her happy. And he is happier. They never speak negatively about each other.

Maybe not your cup of tea. But he could just be a mature guy, whose marriage didn’t work out but still has a great relationship with kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have you tried dating younger childless widower?

OP: I've no issues with dads or divorced men. I love kids. I'm totally down to be a step-mom despite the horror stories. I have no problems with ex-wives. We've all lived and have baggage.
I'd just like men with boundaries and not this weird gray area with their ex-wives. I'm not walking into a mine field.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would much rather date someone who has positive relationship with their ex with whom they co-parent rather than someone with an antagonist relationship.

OP: There's no middle ground between antagonist relationships and vacationing together? I think it's lovely when exes have a positive relationship with one another. I celebrate that! But vacationing together is way over the top.

Of course there is. PP is just being willfully obtuse.