He's vacationing with his ex-wife.

[Anonymous]

I’m a stepmother (DSC is now 20, have known for 15 years).

Yes, that is super weird, especially if they have been divorced for a while.

Also, most women regret becoming a stepmother.

I would walk away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m a stepmother (DSC is now 20, have known for 15 years).

Yes, that is super weird, especially if they have been divorced for a while.

Also, most women regret becoming a stepmother.

I would walk away.

This is the really brutally true part. I wouldn’t be worried about the sex with ex thing- a brief glimpse at 90% percent of forum threads should disabuse you of
the idea that marital sex is hot or frequent, let alone with an ex. If you don’t have children of your own, you have no earthly idea what difficulties lie ahead…

[Anonymous]

It’s nice he and his ex are putting aside their issues and vacationing together for the kids. I wouldn’t date a man with kids as I have no interest in being a stepmom, but he’s actually doing a good thing.

I also wouldn’t continue dating a man who ghosted me for a month. I’d move on. You’re obviously not that important to him, regardless of what he says.

[Anonymous]

I doubt “vacationing together” is the right phrase. I’d assume he’s in a hotel while she is staying with family. He’ll get some skiiing in and maybe catch up on work emails and join them for Christmas Eve and some part of Christmas day, maybe take the kids out to a movie so mom can meet up with college friends, etc. you don’t know what the kids are going through and it might have been important to them to spend time with both parents at Christmas.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There's a guy I've been seeing casually for a little while. We lost touch for a month or so, but he reached out to me and said he wanted to see me again, apologized for the silence, and said he would do better with his communication (which he has). However, he told me he is vacationing with his ex-wife and their twin girls (kids are 10) to see her family in Colorado for Christmas. I find this super weird, and I don't really want to be involved with anyone who is vacationing with their ex-spouse. I know we're not committed to one another or anything like that yet, but it still gives me all kinds of red flags.

Am I alone in this? I'm thinking of just walking away from the situation.

I’m sure he’s very nice but do not get involved with him. Btdt

[Anonymous]

Are you sure he’s actually divorced?

Ghosting you for a month + going on vacation with “ex wife” makes me think he ain’t actually single.

[Anonymous]

Gross. I would never continue to see a man who did this with his ex-wife, kids or not. Have some standards for yourself, woman. Even if you're not his girlfriend, don't waste your valuable time on this waste of space.
If they wanted to be a family and act like a family, they should've have gotten a divorce. I bet he cheated and is trying to weasel his way back to her. Just my two cents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you sure he’s actually divorced?

Ghosting you for a month + going on vacation with “ex wife” makes me think he ain’t actually single.

OP: I've known him for years through friends. We run in similar circles. He is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you sure he’s actually divorced?

Ghosting you for a month + going on vacation with “ex wife” makes me think he ain’t actually single.

Yes, I'd worry about this first.

[Anonymous]

I think my kids would have appreciated an opportunity to vacation with both parents at age 10. It would have been awful for me (my XH was abusive) so I never considered it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s nice he and his ex are putting aside their issues and vacationing together for the kids. I wouldn’t date a man with kids as I have no interest in being a stepmom, but he’s actually doing a good thing.

I also wouldn’t continue dating a man who ghosted me for a month. I’d move on. You’re obviously not that important to him, regardless of what he says.

+1 If he were really into you, he wouldn't have ghosted you for a month. I hate to hurt your feelings but he was probably with someone else and you're a backup plan.

[Anonymous]

How long has he been divorced?

Traveling alone with the ex and kids would honestly be less strange to me than spending the holidays with his ex in-laws.

[Anonymous]

This would be a hard pass for me. I would immediately drop someone who vacations with their ex. I don’t have time for that nonsense. OP, you should value yourself more and move on.

[Anonymous]

So you wouldn’t be ok with him being part of the family Christmas photo?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I doubt “vacationing together” is the right phrase. I’d assume he’s in a hotel while she is staying with family. He’ll get some skiiing in and maybe catch up on work emails and join them for Christmas Eve and some part of Christmas day, maybe take the kids out to a movie so mom can meet up with college friends, etc. you don’t know what the kids are going through and it might have been important to them to spend time with both parents at Christmas.

Oh, dear. Sure he's in a hotel. I'm sure he was invited to join up with family so he could stay in a hotel.
I'm not a spring chicken anymore (I have grandkids) so I can't say I'm versed in how couples conduct themselves these days, but let's think logically for a moment, shall we? Would you invite someone to stay with your family if they had to foot the bill for a hotel? What's in it for these kids then? What's in it for him? That implies he's entirely separate from the festivities. Is he doing his own meals? Is he being dropped off at night? Anyone who falls for this was born yesterday.