I met with a divorce attorney today... Surprised...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are you divorcing now vs. when you're financially ready to support yourself? Short of abuse, I would wait until my job prospects have significantly improved. I think you are living in some lala land.

This. Find a solid job first and a decent income. Unless there is physical abuse.

Easier said than done. There's a lot of emotional abuse. People get divorced of all kinds of incomes. I am 34 now. It's only going to get harder to date and remarry. I know it's best for the kids. The amount of anger in the house is not healthy.

OP you need to grow up and make your kids priority #1! Date and remarry?!?!? Are you off your rocker?

No judge is going to deprive your husband access to your kids because you claim emotional abuse. Drop your end of the rope. It's clear from your lack of maturity that you're just as responsible for creating a bad home environment as he is. Yes, you can put aside your petty vengeance and drop your end of the rope. For your kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are you divorcing now vs. when you're financially ready to support yourself? Short of abuse, I would wait until my job prospects have significantly improved. I think you are living in some lala land.

This. Find a solid job first and a decent income. Unless there is physical abuse.

Easier said than done. There's a lot of emotional abuse. People get divorced of all kinds of incomes. I am 34 now. It's only going to get harder to date and remarry. I know it's best for the kids. The amount of anger in the house is not healthy.

OP you need to grow up and make your kids priority #1! Date and remarry?!?!? Are you off your rocker?

No judge is going to deprive your husband access to your kids because you claim emotional abuse. Drop your end of the rope. It's clear from your lack of maturity that you're just as responsible for creating a bad home environment as he is. Yes, you can put aside your petty vengeance and drop your end of the rope. For your kids.

Dating and marrying does not make someone crazy. She's right. The youngest she is, the higher the chance of finding someone. Not wanting to be around a father with anger issues is putting the kids first.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are you divorcing now vs. when you're financially ready to support yourself? Short of abuse, I would wait until my job prospects have significantly improved. I think you are living in some lala land.

This. Find a solid job first and a decent income. Unless there is physical abuse.

Easier said than done. There's a lot of emotional abuse. People get divorced of all kinds of incomes. I am 34 now. It's only going to get harder to date and remarry. I know it's best for the kids. The amount of anger in the house is not healthy.

OP you need to grow up and make your kids priority #1! Date and remarry?!?!? Are you off your rocker?

No judge is going to deprive your husband access to your kids because you claim emotional abuse. Drop your end of the rope. It's clear from your lack of maturity that you're just as responsible for creating a bad home environment as he is. Yes, you can put aside your petty vengeance and drop your end of the rope. For your kids.

She didn't say anything about getting full custody, drama queen. News flash people do date and remarry. It doesn't make them bad parents. Humans have needs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are you divorcing now vs. when you're financially ready to support yourself? Short of abuse, I would wait until my job prospects have significantly improved. I think you are living in some lala land.

This. Find a solid job first and a decent income. Unless there is physical abuse.

Easier said than done. There's a lot of emotional abuse. People get divorced of all kinds of incomes. I am 34 now. It's only going to get harder to date and remarry. I know it's best for the kids. The amount of anger in the house is not healthy.

OP you need to grow up and make your kids priority #1! Date and remarry?!?!? Are you off your rocker?

No judge is going to deprive your husband access to your kids because you claim emotional abuse. Drop your end of the rope. It's clear from your lack of maturity that you're just as responsible for creating a bad home environment as he is. Yes, you can put aside your petty vengeance and drop your end of the rope. For your kids.

Obviously someone who hates sahm's. Ignore.

[Anonymous]

OP can google as well as we can:

https://divorce.laws.com/alimony/alimony-calculator-pa

https://calculators.law/calculators/maintenance/pennsylvania

https://www.divorcenet.com/resources/divorce/spousal-support/understanding-and-calculating-alimony-pe

https://www.wolfeandrice.com/blog/2020/02/how-does-pennsylvania-divide-assets-in-a-divorce/

LOTS more out there.

[Anonymous]

So much misinformation in this post. Yes, you will likely get some amount of alimony + child support but it likely won't be much. You will need a full time job. There the potential for you to stay in the house, if you can buy him out of half of the equity you have in it AND make the mortgage payments. Otherwise, you will need to sell it and split the proceeds 50/50. Custody will likely be 50/50, maybe 60/40, despite you being a SAHM, bc again, you will have to go back to work. Alimony doesn't exist for you to continue to not work unless you are super wealthy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are you divorcing now vs. when you're financially ready to support yourself? Short of abuse, I would wait until my job prospects have significantly improved. I think you are living in some lala land.

This. Find a solid job first and a decent income. Unless there is physical abuse.

Easier said than done. There's a lot of emotional abuse. People get divorced of all kinds of incomes. I am 34 now. It's only going to get harder to date and remarry. I know it's best for the kids. The amount of anger in the house is not healthy.

OP you need to grow up and make your kids priority #1! Date and remarry?!?!? Are you off your rocker?

No judge is going to deprive your husband access to your kids because you claim emotional abuse. Drop your end of the rope. It's clear from your lack of maturity that you're just as responsible for creating a bad home environment as he is. Yes, you can put aside your petty vengeance and drop your end of the rope. For your kids.

She didn't say anything about getting full custody, drama queen. News flash people do date and remarry. It doesn't make them bad parents. Humans have needs.

They do date and remarry, yes. But I don’t think any woman with kids should be getting divorced with remarrying even on her mind. OP should assume she may never remarry ever again. She should divorce with the assumption she will be a single mom. In this case, she needs to accept there’s a very high chance she won’t be staying in a house that’s 1/2 the takehome pay of her soon to be exDH. That’s simply unrealistic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So much misinformation in this post. Yes, you will likely get some amount of alimony + child support but it likely won't be much. You will need a full time job. There the potential for you to stay in the house, if you can buy him out of half of the equity you have in it AND make the mortgage payments. Otherwise, you will need to sell it and split the proceeds 50/50. Custody will likely be 50/50, maybe 60/40, despite you being a SAHM, bc again, you will have to go back to work. Alimony doesn't exist for you to continue to not work unless you are super wealthy.

I thought she said she does work part-time. I didn't see anything about her not working.

[Anonymous]

OP I have BTDT.
How about getting a better job, once that is FT, that will give you more time out of the house and a higher income to pay for additional childcare?
Disengage from him. Unless you or your child are in danger, focus now on getting your ducks in a row. Go and do whatever you need to do to get yourself financially in shape. Do not expect alimony to solve everything. It sounds like there is no way you can currently afford the house, even with alimony, because it likely won’t be that much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are you divorcing now vs. when you're financially ready to support yourself? Short of abuse, I would wait until my job prospects have significantly improved. I think you are living in some lala land.

This. Find a solid job first and a decent income. Unless there is physical abuse.

Easier said than done. There's a lot of emotional abuse. People get divorced of all kinds of incomes. I am 34 now. It's only going to get harder to date and remarry. I know it's best for the kids. The amount of anger in the house is not healthy.

OP you need to grow up and make your kids priority #1! Date and remarry?!?!? Are you off your rocker?

No judge is going to deprive your husband access to your kids because you claim emotional abuse. Drop your end of the rope. It's clear from your lack of maturity that you're just as responsible for creating a bad home environment as he is. Yes, you can put aside your petty vengeance and drop your end of the rope. For your kids.

She didn't say anything about getting full custody, drama queen. News flash people do date and remarry. It doesn't make them bad parents. Humans have needs.

They do date and remarry, yes. But I don’t think any woman with kids should be getting divorced with remarrying even on her mind. OP should assume she may never remarry ever again. She should divorce with the assumption she will be a single mom. In this case, she needs to accept there’s a very high chance she won’t be staying in a house that’s 1/2 the takehome pay of her soon to be exDH. That’s simply unrealistic.

Says who? This is the USA. Divorce isn't a big deal. What are you, the dating police? If he's attractive, she can date and remarry. Maybe she's been in a sexless marriage for 12 years—her choice.

[Anonymous]

If she waits until her job prospects are better, it's probable she'll be awarded less alimony for a shorter period of time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP I have BTDT.
How about getting a better job, once that is FT, that will give you more time out of the house and a higher income to pay for additional childcare?
Disengage from him. Unless you or your child are in danger, focus now on getting your ducks in a row. Go and do whatever you need to do to get yourself financially in shape. Do not expect alimony to solve everything. It sounds like there is no way you can currently afford the house, even with alimony, because it likely won’t be that much.

I'm afraid I have to disagree if she gets a job shed gives up alimony. She spent years supporting her husband while he bettered himself. Don't give that up.

[Anonymous]

She will probably have more time to study after divorce. She is a stay-at-home mom while in school FT. That's brutal without childcare. Her husband had free childcare while studying and worked himself up to 160k.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is not realistic to stay in the house. Get a new attorney.
A judge will likely force a sale of the house.

Can you afford the house payment with the alimony payment? Highly unlikey.

This. Your husband has to pay taxes in his $160k and you will have to pay taxes on your alimony. No way you can stay in the house unless it’s a very very cheap house.

You don’t pay taxes on alimony. It was already taxed, it can’t be taxed again, same as child support.

Under divorce or separation instruments executed on or before December 31, 2018, alimony payments are deductible by the payer and taxable to the recipient

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP I have BTDT.
How about getting a better job, once that is FT, that will give you more time out of the house and a higher income to pay for additional childcare?
Disengage from him. Unless you or your child are in danger, focus now on getting your ducks in a row. Go and do whatever you need to do to get yourself financially in shape. Do not expect alimony to solve everything. It sounds like there is no way you can currently afford the house, even with alimony, because it likely won’t be that much.

I'm afraid I have to disagree if she gets a job shed gives up alimony. She spent years supporting her husband while he bettered himself. Don't give that up.

What’s so great about remaining underemployed? It isn’t just the years of getting alimony at stake, it’s what comes after. Her lost future earnings if she keeps staying at home.