Who smokes weed at 8 in the morning to start their Monday telework day?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
OP, you should take the question to a doctor because on this forum you will get a lot of knee-jerk pro-weed responses, as you already see. There are people here who will swear there is no such thing as being addicted to weed, but yes, there is such a thing. Your wife is clearly self-medicating and doing it all day long so she is never fully the self she would be without the weed in her system.

https://www.drugabuse.gov/publications/research-reports/marijuana/marijuana-addictive
https://www.healthline.com/health-news/marijuana-addiction-rare-but-real-072014#Who-becomes-addicted-to-marijuana-and-why?

Posters here will insist that if it makes her feel good and she's able to work, she's fine. But it's not fine because it creates problems in her marriage. And the fact you have a teen who is defending mom's weed use is beyond troubling (read up about the impact when teens smoke weed--it affects their brain development in a big way and can have lasting effects, none good; and you can assume your teen is smoking or will smoke weed, since mom is modeling it for her all day, every day, and it's right there in the house.)

Your wife is choosing weed over you; over her kid; over any attempt to get at WHY she needs to smoke constantly. This isn't recreational use; this is "I need this substance to get through my day, all day long." That would be a red flag if the substance were wine, whiskey, opioids, and yes, even other forms of things like CBD gummies or whatever. When it's "need" and not recreation, and when it upsets the supposedly most important person in the user's life and the user does not care at all--it's a problem. Though folks here will insist it's just fine.

You need to figure out what happens next. I couldn't be married to someone who prioritized a substance (any substance) over the marriage and the family. I would at least attempt first to get that person help to see that the use, while appearing "helpful" and appearing to make her "function better," is actually self-medication for underlying issues the weed cannot treat. Maybe start with calling here:
https://www.samhsa.gov/find-help/national-helpline
The line deals with family members of people with substance use disorders. They can start to steer you to some resources. People posting here will only promote weed as beneficial, which it can be in narrow circumstances, but they don't want to believe it can be addictive and can mask mental health issues.

I don't think her weed use is fine. In fact it would probably be a divorce event for me. But OP seems utterly unempathetic and nasty in his posts here, while at the same time coming across like he is helpless. He is also a parent to his teen, for instance, yet posts like his wife is the only parent.

It is hard for me to believe his wife is entirely in the wrong here. She probably does have an addiction issue, but I also suspect that she will substantially ease up on her pot use when she isn't living with OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m with you, OP.

First, no one should have to live with smoker. She knew you didn’t want to. Not fair to you.

Second, what she is doing is a fireable offense.

Third, it’s not good for her health and is a bad example to your kids.

I would not bring up the 40 pounds. Just don’t go there. I would also like to add if she’s tall, and she was like 120 and skinny when you met, she still within the healthy weight range and it’s not a normal for a middle-age woman who said kids especially to gain weight.

Since you did go there, she was 5'9" 152 when I met here. I was fine with her not being skinny. Medium is quite alright to me. She now weighs about 195. I'm pretty sure that's also out of the healthy weight range.

I'm 5'9" 185, about the same as when we met.

I think overeating is another way of self-medicating, but I don't want to piss off the pro-weed and pro-fat people all in one thread.

Oh my God your poor wife. Free OPs wife!

[Anonymous]

The answer is: someone married to OP, and for good reason.

[Anonymous]

OP you should investigate vaping mj for your wife. No smell! Feels the same to the user.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m with you, OP.

First, no one should have to live with smoker. She knew you didn’t want to. Not fair to you.

Second, what she is doing is a fireable offense.

Third, it’s not good for her health and is a bad example to your kids.

I would not bring up the 40 pounds. Just don’t go there. I would also like to add if she’s tall, and she was like 120 and skinny when you met, she still within the healthy weight range and it’s not a normal for a middle-age woman who said kids especially to gain weight.

Since you did go there, she was 5'9" 152 when I met here. I was fine with her not being skinny. Medium is quite alright to me. She now weighs about 195. I'm pretty sure that's also out of the healthy weight range.

I'm 5'9" 185, about the same as when we met.

I think overeating is another way of self-medicating, but I don't want to piss off the pro-weed and pro-fat people all in one thread.

Oh my God your poor wife. Free OPs wife!

How do you feel about the husband who drinks several beers nightly?

[Anonymous]

The answers here will be so different if OP was the wife complaining about her husband. Sorry OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
OP, you should take the question to a doctor because on this forum you will get a lot of knee-jerk pro-weed responses, as you already see. There are people here who will swear there is no such thing as being addicted to weed, but yes, there is such a thing. Your wife is clearly self-medicating and doing it all day long so she is never fully the self she would be without the weed in her system.

https://www.drugabuse.gov/publications/research-reports/marijuana/marijuana-addictive
https://www.healthline.com/health-news/marijuana-addiction-rare-but-real-072014#Who-becomes-addicted-to-marijuana-and-why?

Posters here will insist that if it makes her feel good and she's able to work, she's fine. But it's not fine because it creates problems in her marriage. And the fact you have a teen who is defending mom's weed use is beyond troubling (read up about the impact when teens smoke weed--it affects their brain development in a big way and can have lasting effects, none good; and you can assume your teen is smoking or will smoke weed, since mom is modeling it for her all day, every day, and it's right there in the house.)

Your wife is choosing weed over you; over her kid; over any attempt to get at WHY she needs to smoke constantly. This isn't recreational use; this is "I need this substance to get through my day, all day long." That would be a red flag if the substance were wine, whiskey, opioids, and yes, even other forms of things like CBD gummies or whatever. When it's "need" and not recreation, and when it upsets the supposedly most important person in the user's life and the user does not care at all--it's a problem. Though folks here will insist it's just fine.

You need to figure out what happens next. I couldn't be married to someone who prioritized a substance (any substance) over the marriage and the family. I would at least attempt first to get that person help to see that the use, while appearing "helpful" and appearing to make her "function better," is actually self-medication for underlying issues the weed cannot treat. Maybe start with calling here:
https://www.samhsa.gov/find-help/national-helpline
The line deals with family members of people with substance use disorders. They can start to steer you to some resources. People posting here will only promote weed as beneficial, which it can be in narrow circumstances, but they don't want to believe it can be addictive and can mask mental health issues.

I don't think her weed use is fine. In fact it would probably be a divorce event for me. But OP seems utterly unempathetic and nasty in his posts here, while at the same time coming across like he is helpless. He is also a parent to his teen, for instance, yet posts like his wife is the only parent.

It is hard for me to believe his wife is entirely in the wrong here. She probably does have an addiction issue, but I also suspect that she will substantially ease up on her pot use when she isn't living with OP.

Agree completely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m with you, OP.

First, no one should have to live with smoker. She knew you didn’t want to. Not fair to you.

Second, what she is doing is a fireable offense.

Third, it’s not good for her health and is a bad example to your kids.

I would not bring up the 40 pounds. Just don’t go there. I would also like to add if she’s tall, and she was like 120 and skinny when you met, she still within the healthy weight range and it’s not a normal for a middle-age woman who said kids especially to gain weight.

Since you did go there, she was 5'9" 152 when I met here. I was fine with her not being skinny. Medium is quite alright to me. She now weighs about 195. I'm pretty sure that's also out of the healthy weight range.

I'm 5'9" 185, about the same as when we met.

I think overeating is another way of self-medicating, but I don't want to piss off the pro-weed and pro-fat people all in one thread.

Oh my God your poor wife. Free OPs wife!

How do you feel about the husband who drinks several beers nightly?

Not the scenario here, but I would be more worried about a morning drinker than pot smoker, and I hate pot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP you should investigate vaping mj for your wife. No smell! Feels the same to the user.

Why do I have to investigate it for her? She claims to be the weed expert, to the point she sells her teen on it (but only after you're 25!). and tells me that I just need to accept her for who she is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The answers here will be so different if OP was the wife complaining about her husband. Sorry OP.

I was sympathetic to OP after his first post, but his subsequent posts have changed my mind entirely.

[Anonymous]

My very successful ex bf smoked every morning. He never appeared high but it’s one reason we broke up (among more serious issues). I’m a health but as well and had a hard time relating. My father was an alcoholic so I’ve been wary around people that are dependent on alcohol or drugs, even pot. I know several wonderful people that do usually smoke or take edibles on a regular basis but daily would be concerning to me. My ex bf had trouble losing about 30 lbs he gained after an injury and the pot certainly didn’t help. But if your wife suffers from anxiety, she should see a professional and it sounds like you would benefit as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m with you, OP.

First, no one should have to live with smoker. She knew you didn’t want to. Not fair to you.

Second, what she is doing is a fireable offense.

Third, it’s not good for her health and is a bad example to your kids.

I would not bring up the 40 pounds. Just don’t go there. I would also like to add if she’s tall, and she was like 120 and skinny when you met, she still within the healthy weight range and it’s not a normal for a middle-age woman who said kids especially to gain weight.

Since you did go there, she was 5'9" 152 when I met here. I was fine with her not being skinny. Medium is quite alright to me. She now weighs about 195. I'm pretty sure that's also out of the healthy weight range.

I'm 5'9" 185, about the same as when we met.

I think overeating is another way of self-medicating, but I don't want to piss off the pro-weed and pro-fat people all in one thread.

Oh my God your poor wife. Free OPs wife!

How do you feel about the husband who drinks several beers nightly?

Not the scenario here, but I would be more worried about a morning drinker than pot smoker, and I hate pot.

I am OP, and I agree. The issue isn't that she's a morning pot smoker, she's an all the time pot smoker. I've woken to the smell of pot at 3am.

FWIW, I'm not a teetotaler myself. I brew my own beer, have a nightly (one, never more) glass of wine or beer with dinner, and have smoked weed a handful of times in my younger years. I just think every at any time is too much. I didn't sign up to be married to a smoker.

[Anonymous]

Does she really get more done than you do?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does she really get more done than you do?

It sounds like she does the vast majority of the parenting.

[Anonymous]

I could not stay married to someone who is a pothead.

Your wife may be suffering from depression so I would suggest therapy as well as SSRIs vs. getting high.