Who smokes weed at 8 in the morning to start their Monday telework day?

[Anonymous]

She's at high risk for lung cancer down the road. Smokers are terrible to deal with and never face reality until it hits them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would not be okay with a partner self-medicating like that. She's not acting like a responsible, mature adult. It would be different if she worked with a therapist for a number of years, tried a number of meds to see if they helped, changed her lifestyle (eat healthy, sleep well, exercise and meditate daily), but then decided that the pot was the best way to manage her (diagnosed and self-acknowledge) issues.

She says I have no choice but to accept it.

You have a choice, it's called DIVORCE. You are young, get out now.

I'm 54 and we've been together for 20 years and a child, That's a lot to give up.

I's also argue 54 is not young, and my 110K salary isn't something other women are going to be beating the door down to pair up with in the DMV. At least based on this message board.

She is smoking that much because something in her life is causing her stress and anxiety. What is it? If she were taking SSRIs, they also cause weight gain among other nasty side effects. They are also not sure what the long term side effects are. Weed has been around and tested for thousands of years. Also, has she gone through menopause yet or is going through menopause? That causes weight gain in many women. You really need to stop bringing up how fit you are, it makes you really unlikable.

Yeah, I think she is doing this to self medicate stress. Think about what changed in her life to cause her to feel so stressed. What can change now to make her day lighter. If she stops the weed, a lot of pounds should come off. I'm sure it makes her hungry.

[Anonymous]

Your wife sounds unhappy OP. Your daughter feels the need to protect your wife from you. What if you focused on fixing those problems and not fixing the weed problem, and then see if the problem goes away as a symptom of unhappiness in, what sounds like, an unhappy home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your wife sounds unhappy OP. Your daughter feels the need to protect your wife from you. What if you focused on fixing those problems and not fixing the weed problem, and then see if the problem goes away as a symptom of unhappiness in, what sounds like, an unhappy home.

Not OP, but -- telling him to fix himself, even though there seem to be attitudes he definitely does need to fix, isn't going to magically make someone who's now addicted just stop being addicted. Yeah, she's self-medicating, but she also is now used to being high all day long day in and day out. The craving for the high isn't going to be reduced if OP becomes a nicer guy. While reducing stress could reduce the need to self-medicate, she'd also have to be self-aware enough to see a difference in him. Someone who stays high isn't exactly aware of what's going on, no matter how much he protests here that she's perfectly capable with her work, etc.

OP needs to stop complaining here, stop being so wimpily resigned to things at home, and stop bringing up how he feels superior to her. And he needs to get a third party professional involved. His wife needs to be treated like the addict she is but...she'll say it's "only" weed and not addictive.

The sad thing is there's a kid involved, a teen who sees and understands all this mess that's going on. If they didn't have a kid I'd tell OP to divorce DW for BOTH their sakes but that will leave the teen half the time with an addicted pothead mom and half the time with a dad focused on how much better a person he is than mom....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your wife sounds unhappy OP. Your daughter feels the need to protect your wife from you. What if you focused on fixing those problems and not fixing the weed problem, and then see if the problem goes away as a symptom of unhappiness in, what sounds like, an unhappy home.

Not OP, but -- telling him to fix himself, even though there seem to be attitudes he definitely does need to fix, isn't going to magically make someone who's now addicted just stop being addicted. Yeah, she's self-medicating, but she also is now used to being high all day long day in and day out. The craving for the high isn't going to be reduced if OP becomes a nicer guy. While reducing stress could reduce the need to self-medicate, she'd also have to be self-aware enough to see a difference in him. Someone who stays high isn't exactly aware of what's going on, no matter how much he protests here that she's perfectly capable with her work, etc.

OP needs to stop complaining here, stop being so wimpily resigned to things at home, and stop bringing up how he feels superior to her. And he needs to get a third party professional involved. His wife needs to be treated like the addict she is but...she'll say it's "only" weed and not addictive.

The sad thing is there's a kid involved, a teen who sees and understands all this mess that's going on. If they didn't have a kid I'd tell OP to divorce DW for BOTH their sakes but that will leave the teen half the time with an addicted pothead mom and half the time with a dad focused on how much better a person he is than mom....

I’m the quoted poster. You might be right that the OPs wife is hopelessly addicted, I don’t know enough about it to make that call. If so she would probably need outside help as you say. But my understanding of addiction, limited as it is, is that the person involved has to want the help. A husband who used to smoke who now reviles you for it isn’t going to be motivating to do that work.

So what IS within the OPs control is to work on what is making a household so miserable that his wife needs to self-medicate and his daughter needs to protect her parent from him. Because there’s plenty of contempt in the post for the daughter too. Maybe OP needs to do some therapy, or maybe spend more time at home and less time on his “amazing” body, but there are things that are within his power to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP here. I would find it hard to be married to someone who used all day every day. But my goodness, OP. You come across as really judgmental and everything you’ve posted about your body and fitness compared to hers is just too much. Maybe she is self medicating for anxiety that can come from living with a judgmental partner. I think you’d both benefit from marriage counseling on this topic.

Especially because the guy is as overweight as she is. It's ridiculous.

John Cena is 6'1" 251, with a BMI of 33.1. Roseanne is 5'4" 176, for a BMI of 30.2.

They're both obese, but John Cena is more obese. Right?

Keith Uban is 5'10 165 and Nicole Kidman is 5'10 128. Keith Urban is so much fatter than his wife. Right?

Yeah, buddy, you are just like John Cena. Suuuuuuuure.



Honestly.

I may not be as muscular as John Cena (nobody is), but I'm definitely way more muscular than Keith Urban. LOL.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DH does this. Maybe not quite at 8 am but before noon and on work days. He is also in a creative field and claims he needs it to focus. Probably has undiagnosed ADHD but also is depressed and anxious (bi polar). I hate it as well but it’s who I married. He knows it’s a problem and tries to limit it but honestly this same guy has quit a job because he couldn’t handle the people so if he’s now employed and happy, who am I to complain?

It is what it is. He doe not do it in front of me and I usually can’t smell it. When I do, I do get pissed because I shouldn’t have to be subjected to it.

OP here. I feel for you. Thanks for a post from someone else in my shoes. I can relate to what you said. The part about quitting a job because of the people....my wife is constantly saying how she wants to quit herr job because "I hate everyone I work with and don't want to go back to the office" (can't smoke weed in the daytime there), whereas I've worked in the same job for 20+ years and can't think of anyone at work I truly disliked...it's often hard to relate to someone whose life experiences and vision is completely different that one's own.

And thanks to everyone for the good advice, the bad advice, the insightful comments, the not so insightful comments (there's far more to the tale than I feel comfortable getting into), and the entertaining banter.

[Anonymous]

OP back with an update.

Me: "Maybe you could try gummies, that would bother me much less. You could get the "benefits" and the gross smoke in the air and on your breath would no longer be present to bother me."
Her: "I don't want to do gummies, you a-hole. Gummies are for high schoolers. I want the real relationship with the flower."

Me: "You can smell the smoke all of and down the street. Aren't you concerned with if it bothers the neighbors?"
Her: "F the neighbors, I don't give an s about what they think."

Me: "You're addicted to it."
Her: "You can't be addicted to cannibis. This makes my life better and it's not something that's going to change. If you don't stop talking about it, I will leave you."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP back with an update.

Me: "Maybe you could try gummies, that would bother me much less. You could get the "benefits" and the gross smoke in the air and on your breath would no longer be present to bother me."
Her: "I don't want to do gummies, you a-hole. Gummies are for high schoolers. I want the real relationship with the flower."

Me: "You can smell the smoke all of and down the street. Aren't you concerned with if it bothers the neighbors?"
Her: "F the neighbors, I don't give an s about what they think."

Me: "You're addicted to it."
Her: "You can't be addicted to cannibis. This makes my life better and it's not something that's going to change. If you don't stop talking about it, I will leave you."

Mama love that sweet, scha-weet, schaaa-weeeeet doobie. It's Doobie Time!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP back with an update.

Me: "Maybe you could try gummies, that would bother me much less. You could get the "benefits" and the gross smoke in the air and on your breath would no longer be present to bother me."
Her: "I don't want to do gummies, you a-hole. Gummies are for high schoolers. I want the real relationship with the flower."

Me: "You can smell the smoke all of and down the street. Aren't you concerned with if it bothers the neighbors?"
Her: "F the neighbors, I don't give an s about what they think."

Me: "You're addicted to it."
Her: "You can't be addicted to cannibis. This makes my life better and it's not something that's going to change. If you don't stop talking about it, I will leave you."

All predictable. All BS. She is in trouble. As are you all.

[Anonymous]

Nasty. How do you deal with that smell everyday OP? She has to wreak. So unhealthy.

[Anonymous]

My ex did this starting first thing in the morning and kept it up all around the clock. I HATED it. Mainly because he had a medical issue that impeded his walking so he smoked in the house. Thankfully we split in the spring and I've never been happier to not be around the smoke

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your wife sounds unhappy OP. Your daughter feels the need to protect your wife from you. What if you focused on fixing those problems and not fixing the weed problem, and then see if the problem goes away as a symptom of unhappiness in, what sounds like, an unhappy home.

Not OP, but -- telling him to fix himself, even though there seem to be attitudes he definitely does need to fix, isn't going to magically make someone who's now addicted just stop being addicted. Yeah, she's self-medicating, but she also is now used to being high all day long day in and day out. The craving for the high isn't going to be reduced if OP becomes a nicer guy. While reducing stress could reduce the need to self-medicate, she'd also have to be self-aware enough to see a difference in him. Someone who stays high isn't exactly aware of what's going on, no matter how much he protests here that she's perfectly capable with her work, etc.

OP needs to stop complaining here, stop being so wimpily resigned to things at home, and stop bringing up how he feels superior to her. And he needs to get a third party professional involved. His wife needs to be treated like the addict she is but...she'll say it's "only" weed and not addictive.

The sad thing is there's a kid involved, a teen who sees and understands all this mess that's going on. If they didn't have a kid I'd tell OP to divorce DW for BOTH their sakes but that will leave the teen half the time with an addicted pothead mom and half the time with a dad focused on how much better a person he is than mom....

I’m the quoted poster. You might be right that the OPs wife is hopelessly addicted, I don’t know enough about it to make that call. If so she would probably need outside help as you say. But my understanding of addiction, limited as it is, is that the person involved has to want the help. A husband who used to smoke who now reviles you for it isn’t going to be motivating to do that work.

So what IS within the OPs control is to work on what is making a household so miserable that his wife needs to self-medicate and his daughter needs to protect her parent from him. Because there’s plenty of contempt in the post for the daughter too. Maybe OP needs to do some therapy, or maybe spend more time at home and less time on his “amazing” body, but there are things that are within his power to do.

It seems you are just projecting.

[Anonymous]

Losers