Who smokes weed at 8 in the morning to start their Monday telework day?

[Anonymous]

You sound like a peach, OP. I'd probably smoke a lot more often if I had to live with you.

The 40lbs is a low blow and I'm sure you just threw that in their because you're feeling mean and you probably know that would get to her. Unnecessary. I'm guessing you haven't gained mainly because you're a man and genetics, so don't pat yourself on the back too hard.

[Anonymous]

This is a troll. Women use only gummies or tincture.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does she really get more done than you do?

It sounds like she does the vast majority of the parenting.

She worked part time from home for the first six years, with our only child home with her full time. This, while I was in the office five days a week. We also at times have had vastly differing parenting philosophies, and her basic (and insistent) approach is "You just contribute financially, and let me be the lead on the parenting stuff." Was I wrong the just accept that rather than constantly fight her on it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You sound like a peach, OP. I'd probably smoke a lot more often if I had to live with you.

The 40lbs is a low blow and I'm sure you just threw that in their because you're feeling mean and you probably know that would get to her. Unnecessary. I'm guessing you haven't gained mainly because you're a man and genetics, so don't pat yourself on the back too hard.

So only women have genetics that make them put on weight, and men don't?

I haven't put on weight because I exercise daily, and have cut back on calorie intake as my metabolism has slowed with age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does she really get more done than you do?

It sounds like she does the vast majority of the parenting.

She worked part time from home for the first six years, with our only child home with her full time. This, while I was in the office five days a week. We also at times have had vastly differing parenting philosophies, and her basic (and insistent) approach is "You just contribute financially, and let me be the lead on the parenting stuff." Was I wrong the just accept that rather than constantly fight her on it?

Jesus yes. Man up and be a parent. For God's sake your whiny passivity is annoying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is a troll. Women use only gummies or tincture.

What would I gain my going on a message board and making up a fictitious problem?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is a troll. Women use only gummies or tincture.

I hope it's a troll because I am really feeling sorry for his wife and kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
OP, you should take the question to a doctor because on this forum you will get a lot of knee-jerk pro-weed responses, as you already see. There are people here who will swear there is no such thing as being addicted to weed, but yes, there is such a thing. Your wife is clearly self-medicating and doing it all day long so she is never fully the self she would be without the weed in her system.

https://www.drugabuse.gov/publications/research-reports/marijuana/marijuana-addictive
https://www.healthline.com/health-news/marijuana-addiction-rare-but-real-072014#Who-becomes-addicted-to-marijuana-and-why?

Posters here will insist that if it makes her feel good and she's able to work, she's fine. But it's not fine because it creates problems in her marriage. And the fact you have a teen who is defending mom's weed use is beyond troubling (read up about the impact when teens smoke weed--it affects their brain development in a big way and can have lasting effects, none good; and you can assume your teen is smoking or will smoke weed, since mom is modeling it for her all day, every day, and it's right there in the house.)

Your wife is choosing weed over you; over her kid; over any attempt to get at WHY she needs to smoke constantly. This isn't recreational use; this is "I need this substance to get through my day, all day long." That would be a red flag if the substance were wine, whiskey, opioids, and yes, even other forms of things like CBD gummies or whatever. When it's "need" and not recreation, and when it upsets the supposedly most important person in the user's life and the user does not care at all--it's a problem. Though folks here will insist it's just fine.

You need to figure out what happens next. I couldn't be married to someone who prioritized a substance (any substance) over the marriage and the family. I would at least attempt first to get that person help to see that the use, while appearing "helpful" and appearing to make her "function better," is actually self-medication for underlying issues the weed cannot treat. Maybe start with calling here:
https://www.samhsa.gov/find-help/national-helpline
The line deals with family members of people with substance use disorders. They can start to steer you to some resources. People posting here will only promote weed as beneficial, which it can be in narrow circumstances, but they don't want to believe it can be addictive and can mask mental health issues.

I don't think her weed use is fine. In fact it would probably be a divorce event for me. But OP seems utterly unempathetic and nasty in his posts here, while at the same time coming across like he is helpless. He is also a parent to his teen, for instance, yet posts like his wife is the only parent.

It is hard for me to believe his wife is entirely in the wrong here. She probably does have an addiction issue, but I also suspect that she will substantially ease up on her pot use when she isn't living with OP.

Agree completely.

I wrote the long post above about OP needing to get help dealing with her, and I also do agree that his posts are pretty unempathetic; however, he might have exhausted his empathy before posting here. Who knows. He does need to nut up immediately and deal with this issue, with professional help, instead of complaining here. And his apparent lack of serious concern about the fact they have a teen in the house who is learning all day long that smoking weed is positive, is very scary--he should know that weed has been shown over and over to have very negative impact on developing brains. I suspect the teen either is already smoking or soon will be.

The wife has an addiction issue but it's kind of unrealistic to think that if she leaves OP she'll ease up on pot because he won't be there telling her he doens't like it, it's unhealthy etc. If she's not around OP, well, she's already so used to having weed in her system all day every day that she's not going to ease up because he's not there nagging her. It's her state of being now, not just an escape from him. But yeah, he does need to get off the "I'm superior in health" high horse and get his wife real help for the underlying mental issues. Problem is, will she accept that there is a problem that needs help? I kind of doubt it, if she's lighting up at 8 a.m.

I also agree that like you, PP, this situation would be a "divorce event" for me. She's married to the weed now, not to him, but he also doesn't seem to have done more than complain so far.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does she really get more done than you do?

It sounds like she does the vast majority of the parenting.

She worked part time from home for the first six years, with our only child home with her full time. This, while I was in the office five days a week. We also at times have had vastly differing parenting philosophies, and her basic (and insistent) approach is "You just contribute financially, and let me be the lead on the parenting stuff." Was I wrong the just accept that rather than constantly fight her on it?

Jesus yes. Man up and be a parent. For God's sake your whiny passivity is annoying.

Here's an example of how the parenting goes in our family.

Teen leaves a major mess in the kitchen and expects parents to clean up after her. I tell her she needs to clean her mess, and mom tells her she's just a kid, she shouldn't have to do adult chores.

You can call it whiny passitivity, but if both parents aren't on the same team, the one kid is always going to side with the parent who benefits her the most.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My gross deadbeat neighbors do this. They are harshly judged.

Same here. But it starts at 9am when he wakes up. He's unemployed, incredibly unhealthy looking, supported by dad who enables him, and essentially has no future.

Listen, I occasionally use it, but starting your day with it or using it most days is a huge problem. Even bigger problem is that your children see it. She needs help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is a troll. Women use only gummies or tincture.

I’m a mid 30s mom of 3 young kids all of whom attend local privates. I am on boards and the PTA. I coach sports teams and volunteer. I also smoke weed a looooooot…so I must disagree with the PP statement.

[Anonymous]

she should get drug tested for work, very big liability if she makes a mistake

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My very successful ex bf smoked every morning. He never appeared high but it’s one reason we broke up (among more serious issues). I’m a health but as well and had a hard time relating. My father was an alcoholic so I’ve been wary around people that are dependent on alcohol or drugs, even pot. I know several wonderful people that do usually smoke or take edibles on a regular basis but daily would be concerning to me. My ex bf had trouble losing about 30 lbs he gained after an injury and the pot certainly didn’t help. But if your wife suffers from anxiety, she should see a professional and it sounds like you would benefit as well.

Same here. I was with a guy and when I realized he sometimes smoked before work I decided to end it. That's just such an effed up loser move that I knew he was headed for addiction. Which 2 DUIs later, yeah. Clearly there was underlying psychological stuff that he just kept trying to push down with weed and alcohol. Poor guy blew his life up and is just trying to stay on the treadmill now but all that trauma is still under there.

[Anonymous]

Why is she smoking it when there are so many yummy gummies and other edibles out there?

[Anonymous]

^ I would not want you around my kids as a volunteer or coach if you had been smoking. I hope you respect that many parents may feel that way and time your smoking accordingly.