Who smokes weed at 8 in the morning to start their Monday telework day?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does she really get more done than you do?

It sounds like she does the vast majority of the parenting.

She worked part time from home for the first six years, with our only child home with her full time. This, while I was in the office five days a week. We also at times have had vastly differing parenting philosophies, and her basic (and insistent) approach is "You just contribute financially, and let me be the lead on the parenting stuff." Was I wrong the just accept that rather than constantly fight her on it?

Jesus yes. Man up and be a parent. For God's sake your whiny passivity is annoying.

Here's an example of how the parenting goes in our family.

Teen leaves a major mess in the kitchen and expects parents to clean up after her. I tell her she needs to clean her mess, and mom tells her she's just a kid, she shouldn't have to do adult chores.

OP I totally get you and I’m a woman. Each partner needs to own their share of responsibilities in a marriage. Looks like you 2 have completely different parenting philosophies. That aside how is she going to be able to function at office full time with her weed addiction?


You can call it whiny passitivity, but if both parents aren't on the same team, the one kid is always going to side with the parent who benefits her the most.

[Anonymous]

I sympathize op, but you need to respect her journey. Do you need to leave? Maybe. I would exhaust many other options including special hvac filtration systems, house renovation, etc. all cheaper than divorce.

40 lbs seems a bit petty. Do you still have a sex life? Could you meet a fit marathon vegetarian to spend the rest of your life with? Maybe. Would she have other qualities that annoyed you? Absolutely. Would she have the shared history and child you have? Nope.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:My gross deadbeat neighbors do this. They are harshly judged.

Same here. But it starts at 9am when he wakes up. He's unemployed, incredibly unhealthy looking, supported by dad who enables him, and essentially has no future.

Listen, I occasionally use it, but starting your day with it or using it most days is a huge problem. Even bigger problem is that your children see it. She needs help.

OP here. In no way is my spouse "deadbeat." She may make some bad health choices that are cause for concern, but in most other ways, she's a highly productive employee, wife, and mom.

Except she's an addict. And the weed is 100% tied to her weight gain. She's impaired most of the day. She will be at higher risk for dementia and other things. She literally is too inebriated to drive somewhere (lord hope she doesn't). Holding down a job doesn't mean you're not a deadbeat.

Does one puff make you too stoned to drive somewhere? I mean, isn't it feasible that she's done it enough to know the impact and she does it in a way that it may give her what she needs without becoming totally intoxicated (or whatever the weed equivalent term is?)

Jesus christ, yes.

I'm the OP, and I asked that question simply because I haven't smoked weed in so many years that I have no idea what the answer to the question is...and would never have driven after smoking weed anyway.

I mean, one sip of alcohol isn't going to make you too impaired to drive. Even one glass, if drank over a half hour period. But you're literally saying that one puff on a joint will make you too impaired to drive? As anti-weed as I am, I find that hard to believe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I sympathize op, but you need to respect her journey. Do you need to leave? Maybe. I would exhaust many other options including special hvac filtration systems, house renovation, etc. all cheaper than divorce.

40 lbs seems a bit petty. Do you still have a sex life? Could you meet a fit marathon vegetarian to spend the rest of your life with? Maybe. Would she have other qualities that annoyed you? Absolutely. Would she have the shared history and child you have? Nope.

OP here, and I think your post pretty much reflects where I'm at. Life is imperfect and filled with disappoinments. But we do have shared positive memories, and another partnership or no partnership at all could end up being worse.

[Anonymous]

Every single morning on 395 I can smell other commuters smoking weed. There are a ton of people driving nto the city stoned every day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My gross deadbeat neighbors do this. They are harshly judged.

Same here. But it starts at 9am when he wakes up. He's unemployed, incredibly unhealthy looking, supported by dad who enables him, and essentially has no future.

Listen, I occasionally use it, but starting your day with it or using it most days is a huge problem. Even bigger problem is that your children see it. She needs help.

OP here. In no way is my spouse "deadbeat." She may make some bad health choices that are cause for concern, but in most other ways, she's a highly productive employee, wife, and mom.

Except she's an addict. And the weed is 100% tied to her weight gain. She's impaired most of the day. She will be at higher risk for dementia and other things. She literally is too inebriated to drive somewhere (lord hope she doesn't). Holding down a job doesn't mean you're not a deadbeat.

Does one puff make you too stoned to drive somewhere? I mean, isn't it feasible that she's done it enough to know the impact and she does it in a way that it may give her what she needs without becoming totally intoxicated (or whatever the weed equivalent term is?)

I’m the PP from way back who uses tincture and occasionally vape for PTSD. The one downside is that I will not drive after using. Period. Not even after one puff. I’m the same way with alcohol. I won’t drive even after one glass of wine. I would never forgive myself if I hurt someone. It’s not worth the risk. Thankfully, I’m not a daily user and my PTSD and panic are worse in the late afternoon and at night.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:she should get drug tested for work, very big liability if she makes a mistake

OP here. I don't think I agree with your statement, I don't think I even understand it.

My wife is very successful in her job, regardless whether she's doing weed or not doing weed. She's writing and talking with clients on the phone, not performing open heart surgery.

I'd rather see a world where weed is completely legal, not a world where employers drug test their employees. I'm pro-choice, I just choose to say no. And wish my wife was on the same page.

Well we're almost there and what you get is my neighbor smoking from 9am to 9pm and my kids having all that exposure to second and third hand smoke. We'll see what happens to a generation of kids whose parents and neighbors smoke. It won't be pretty.

Yuck. Do you live in a rowhouse or apartment building or a single family home?

A row home in Cleveland Park.

DP, not the one you're responding to. OP you have no idea how much that weed smell and smoke is permeating the walls and affecting your rowhouse neighbors. You should see the many threads on the real estate forum over the years about this. Weed smoke is a serious neighbor issue. You might think your neighbors don't notice because they haven't complained to you. You'd likely be wrong about that. Yeah, yeah, it's off-topic to the bigger picture of your addicted wife and your teen who's probably already smoking. But be assured your neighbors know all about the weed smoking going on all day long.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:she should get drug tested for work, very big liability if she makes a mistake

OP here. I don't think I agree with your statement, I don't think I even understand it.

My wife is very successful in her job, regardless whether she's doing weed or not doing weed. She's writing and talking with clients on the phone, not performing open heart surgery.

I'd rather see a world where weed is completely legal, not a world where employers drug test their employees. I'm pro-choice, I just choose to say no. And wish my wife was on the same page.

Well we're almost there and what you get is my neighbor smoking from 9am to 9pm and my kids having all that exposure to second and third hand smoke. We'll see what happens to a generation of kids whose parents and neighbors smoke. It won't be pretty.

Yuck. Do you live in a rowhouse or apartment building or a single family home?

A row home in Cleveland Park.

DP, not the one you're responding to. OP you have no idea how much that weed smell and smoke is permeating the walls and affecting your rowhouse neighbors. You should see the many threads on the real estate forum over the years about this. Weed smoke is a serious neighbor issue. You might think your neighbors don't notice because they haven't complained to you. You'd likely be wrong about that. Yeah, yeah, it's off-topic to the bigger picture of your addicted wife and your teen who's probably already smoking. But be assured your neighbors know all about the weed smoking going on all day long.

I am the OP, and I don't live in a rowhouse in Cleveland Park. I'm not sure why someone is inserting themself in my narrative. I live in a single family home on a .3 acre lot in a VA suburb. I do smell the smoke from two houses down the road when I'm coming home from walking the dog. I have no doubt the neighbors smell it too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Every single morning on 395 I can smell other commuters smoking weed. There are a ton of people driving nto the city stoned every day.

Tragically it's going to take people getting killed by weed-addled drivers for anyone to dare crack down on it as the DUI offense it is. And eventually there will absolutely be injuries and deaths on the roads. It's happened in states where weed is legalized, especially Colorado, which has a problem with weed "tourists."

https://www.codot.gov/news/2020/june-2020/colorado-department-of-transportation-releases-key-findings-from-two-year-study-aimed-at-reducing-cannabis-involved-traffic-crashes-and-fatalities

The scariest part of the issue in that study is that users have "normalized" the idea of driving while high on weed. They think it's not a DUI issue because, hey, it's only weed, not alcohol....Those are the kinds of people the PP above notes are already smoking weed as they commute around here. They don't acknowledge that it impairs them or that they have any responsibility to not drive.

[Anonymous]

Omg. That would have really hit the spot this morning.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like anxiety.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:she should get drug tested for work, very big liability if she makes a mistake

OP here. I don't think I agree with your statement, I don't think I even understand it.

My wife is very successful in her job, regardless whether she's doing weed or not doing weed. She's writing and talking with clients on the phone, not performing open heart surgery.

I'd rather see a world where weed is completely legal, not a world where employers drug test their employees. I'm pro-choice, I just choose to say no. And wish my wife was on the same page.

Well we're almost there and what you get is my neighbor smoking from 9am to 9pm and my kids having all that exposure to second and third hand smoke. We'll see what happens to a generation of kids whose parents and neighbors smoke. It won't be pretty.

Yuck. Do you live in a rowhouse or apartment building or a single family home?

A row home in Cleveland Park.

DP, not the one you're responding to. OP you have no idea how much that weed smell and smoke is permeating the walls and affecting your rowhouse neighbors. You should see the many threads on the real estate forum over the years about this. Weed smoke is a serious neighbor issue. You might think your neighbors don't notice because they haven't complained to you. You'd likely be wrong about that. Yeah, yeah, it's off-topic to the bigger picture of your addicted wife and your teen who's probably already smoking. But be assured your neighbors know all about the weed smoking going on all day long.

I am the OP, and I don't live in a rowhouse in Cleveland Park. I'm not sure why someone is inserting themself in my narrative. I live in a single family home on a .3 acre lot in a VA suburb. I do smell the smoke from two houses down the road when I'm coming home from walking the dog. I have no doubt the neighbors smell it too.

OP....I agree with you on the weed issue.

But your responses are really prickly, defensive, and often rude, even when people are agreeing with you. It makes me wonder what your wife is putting up with in your relationship. You don’t sound like a very pleasant person.

[Anonymous]

I didn't read 6 pages of replies here but the first few replies make me think folks are being way too harsh on the wife. Weed is medicine for some people. Some people can function fine, even better, on THC. If your wife is one of those people, seems like this isn't a real problem.

No one would ask: who takes their [adderal/ativan/zoloft/whatever] before work? Why is weed different if it has therapeutic effects for her?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:she should get drug tested for work, very big liability if she makes a mistake

OP here. I don't think I agree with your statement, I don't think I even understand it.

My wife is very successful in her job, regardless whether she's doing weed or not doing weed. She's writing and talking with clients on the phone, not performing open heart surgery.

I'd rather see a world where weed is completely legal, not a world where employers drug test their employees. I'm pro-choice, I just choose to say no. And wish my wife was on the same page.

Well we're almost there and what you get is my neighbor smoking from 9am to 9pm and my kids having all that exposure to second and third hand smoke. We'll see what happens to a generation of kids whose parents and neighbors smoke. It won't be pretty.

Yuck. Do you live in a rowhouse or apartment building or a single family home?

A row home in Cleveland Park.

DP, not the one you're responding to. OP you have no idea how much that weed smell and smoke is permeating the walls and affecting your rowhouse neighbors. You should see the many threads on the real estate forum over the years about this. Weed smoke is a serious neighbor issue. You might think your neighbors don't notice because they haven't complained to you. You'd likely be wrong about that. Yeah, yeah, it's off-topic to the bigger picture of your addicted wife and your teen who's probably already smoking. But be assured your neighbors know all about the weed smoking going on all day long.

I am the OP, and I don't live in a rowhouse in Cleveland Park. I'm not sure why someone is inserting themself in my narrative. I live in a single family home on a .3 acre lot in a VA suburb. I do smell the smoke from two houses down the road when I'm coming home from walking the dog. I have no doubt the neighbors smell it too.

OP....I agree with you on the weed issue.

But your responses are really prickly, defensive, and often rude, even when people are agreeing with you. It makes me wonder what your wife is putting up with in your relationship. You don’t sound like a very pleasant person.

Fair enough. I never said I was a perfect partner. or human being. Also, people often come across differently on message boards than in person. I admit, this issue irriates me, and I surely come across as prickly when discussing it. Regardless. if there was something that negatively impacted my health and also bothered my partner to a high degree, I would definitely respect her wishes and try not to do it, rather than defining who I am with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I sympathize op, but you need to respect her journey. Do you need to leave? Maybe. I would exhaust many other options including special hvac filtration systems, house renovation, etc. all cheaper than divorce.

40 lbs seems a bit petty. Do you still have a sex life? Could you meet a fit marathon vegetarian to spend the rest of your life with? Maybe. Would she have other qualities that annoyed you? Absolutely. Would she have the shared history and child you have? Nope.

OPs BMI is literally one point less than his wife's. He is a total hypocrite.