Who smokes weed at 8 in the morning to start their Monday telework day?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would not be okay with a partner self-medicating like that. She's not acting like a responsible, mature adult. It would be different if she worked with a therapist for a number of years, tried a number of meds to see if they helped, changed her lifestyle (eat healthy, sleep well, exercise and meditate daily), but then decided that the pot was the best way to manage her (diagnosed and self-acknowledge) issues.

She says I have no choice but to accept it.

You have a choice, it's called DIVORCE. You are young, get out now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, it’s unfortunate that your wife has chosen to go down the path of being a loser (yes, I will call a spade a spade) and that you two have raised your child to similarly have low standards. BUT she’s still your wife, and you must remember your vows.

Keep loving her in spite of herself. That requires to tell her the truth where it’s required (that’s she’s being a loser) but also accepting her as she is and being kind to her. It sucks, but it really will make you a better person. Abraham Lincoln was devoted as ever to his mentally ill opioid addict wife, and no one can doubt that he was a good man with sterling character.

Yikes. You only live once. Once the kid is raised, what you be the point of staying in a relationship as you've described it?

What’s the point of going to the moon? What’s the point of building the Taj Mahal? What’s the point of being a good husband to your crappy wife (probably the hardest and most noble of the 3)? You either have greatness in you or you don’t. Of course, most people are okay with being mediocrities or worse their whole life. But a lofty aim is worth having, and magnificently more than “the point”.

Why does staying with someone make you a good person? Are you saying divorce makes people bad people? That doesn't make a whole lot of sense.

Let me guess, you're a little league coach.

Did I say divorce makes people bad? Or did you?

Being patient kind and loving to someone who doesn’t deserve it because you promised that you would take them as they are is a good act. Being faithful to that person and that promise. Being strong enough not to give into what your emotions tell you to do because you love that person and the promise you made. Never abandoning that person. Need I go on….These are all objectively good acts, and doing good will lead you to become a good person over time. What a small mind you have! Do you even know what a virtue is????

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would not be okay with a partner self-medicating like that. She's not acting like a responsible, mature adult. It would be different if she worked with a therapist for a number of years, tried a number of meds to see if they helped, changed her lifestyle (eat healthy, sleep well, exercise and meditate daily), but then decided that the pot was the best way to manage her (diagnosed and self-acknowledge) issues.

She says I have no choice but to accept it.

You have a choice, it's called DIVORCE. You are young, get out now.

I'm 54 and we've been together for 20 years and a child, That's a lot to give up.

I's also argue 54 is not young, and my 110K salary isn't something other women are going to be beating the door down to pair up with in the DMV. At least based on this message board.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:NP here. I would find it hard to be married to someone who used all day every day. But my goodness, OP. You come across as really judgmental and everything you’ve posted about your body and fitness compared to hers is just too much. Maybe she is self medicating for anxiety that can come from living with a judgmental partner. I think you’d both benefit from marriage counseling on this topic.

Especially because the guy is as overweight as she is. It's ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would not be okay with a partner self-medicating like that. She's not acting like a responsible, mature adult. It would be different if she worked with a therapist for a number of years, tried a number of meds to see if they helped, changed her lifestyle (eat healthy, sleep well, exercise and meditate daily), but then decided that the pot was the best way to manage her (diagnosed and self-acknowledge) issues.

She says I have no choice but to accept it.

You have a choice, it's called DIVORCE. You are young, get out now.

I'm 54 and we've been together for 20 years and a child, That's a lot to give up.

I's also argue 54 is not young, and my 110K salary isn't something other women are going to be beating the door down to pair up with in the DMV. At least based on this message board.

She is smoking that much because something in her life is causing her stress and anxiety. What is it? If she were taking SSRIs, they also cause weight gain among other nasty side effects. They are also not sure what the long term side effects are. Weed has been around and tested for thousands of years. Also, has she gone through menopause yet or is going through menopause? That causes weight gain in many women. You really need to stop bringing up how fit you are, it makes you really unlikable.

[Anonymous]

Smoking causes cancer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would not be okay with a partner self-medicating like that. She's not acting like a responsible, mature adult. It would be different if she worked with a therapist for a number of years, tried a number of meds to see if they helped, changed her lifestyle (eat healthy, sleep well, exercise and meditate daily), but then decided that the pot was the best way to manage her (diagnosed and self-acknowledge) issues.

She says I have no choice but to accept it.

You have a choice, it's called DIVORCE. You are young, get out now.

I'm 54 and we've been together for 20 years and a child, That's a lot to give up.

I's also argue 54 is not young, and my 110K salary isn't something other women are going to be beating the door down to pair up with in the DMV. At least based on this message board.

She is smoking that much because something in her life is causing her stress and anxiety. What is it? If she were taking SSRIs, they also cause weight gain among other nasty side effects. They are also not sure what the long term side effects are. Weed has been around and tested for thousands of years. Also, has she gone through menopause yet or is going through menopause? That causes weight gain in many women. You really need to stop bringing up how fit you are, it makes you really unlikable.

Especially because he is blind to how overweight he is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP here. I would find it hard to be married to someone who used all day every day. But my goodness, OP. You come across as really judgmental and everything you’ve posted about your body and fitness compared to hers is just too much. Maybe she is self medicating for anxiety that can come from living with a judgmental partner. I think you’d both benefit from marriage counseling on this topic.

Especially because the guy is as overweight as she is. It's ridiculous.

John Cena is 6'1" 251, with a BMI of 33.1. Roseanne is 5'4" 176, for a BMI of 30.2.

They're both obese, but John Cena is more obese. Right?

Keith Uban is 5'10 165 and Nicole Kidman is 5'10 128. Keith Urban is so much fatter than his wife. Right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would not be okay with a partner self-medicating like that. She's not acting like a responsible, mature adult. It would be different if she worked with a therapist for a number of years, tried a number of meds to see if they helped, changed her lifestyle (eat healthy, sleep well, exercise and meditate daily), but then decided that the pot was the best way to manage her (diagnosed and self-acknowledge) issues.

She says I have no choice but to accept it.

You have a choice, it's called DIVORCE. You are young, get out now.

I'm 54 and we've been together for 20 years and a child, That's a lot to give up.

I's also argue 54 is not young, and my 110K salary isn't something other women are going to be beating the door down to pair up with in the DMV. At least based on this message board.

You are correct.

For some reason your wife is not having a great time right now. It would be better if she got her medical card for the weed and started out with that.

Does her job stress her out? Does she like this area? I ask because I had to go on meds just to tolerate the stress of living here, and subsequently gained 30 pounds.

Keep in mind that some people do not find exercise to be relaxing, I am one of them. I do it, but it's not at all enjoyable or relaxing for me. To lose weight at this point I have to do unenjoyable exercise every day, plus watch every single morael of food I eat, count carbs and sugars, as a 50+ year old woman. Does that sound like fun? Has your wife gone through menopause like me? That's awful as well.

She really does need to see a Dr and a therapist to try to figure some things out, even while she is smoking the daily weed. Ha she thought about trying cbd / thc oil or gummies instead of smoking?

[Anonymous]

Canadians.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP here. I would find it hard to be married to someone who used all day every day. But my goodness, OP. You come across as really judgmental and everything you’ve posted about your body and fitness compared to hers is just too much. Maybe she is self medicating for anxiety that can come from living with a judgmental partner. I think you’d both benefit from marriage counseling on this topic.

Especially because the guy is as overweight as she is. It's ridiculous.

John Cena is 6'1" 251, with a BMI of 33.1. Roseanne is 5'4" 176, for a BMI of 30.2.

They're both obese, but John Cena is more obese. Right?

Keith Uban is 5'10 165 and Nicole Kidman is 5'10 128. Keith Urban is so much fatter than his wife. Right?

Yeah, buddy, you are just like John Cena. Suuuuuuuure.



Honestly.

[Anonymous]

My DH does this. Maybe not quite at 8 am but before noon and on work days. He is also in a creative field and claims he needs it to focus. Probably has undiagnosed ADHD but also is depressed and anxious (bi polar). I hate it as well but it’s who I married. He knows it’s a problem and tries to limit it but honestly this same guy has quit a job because he couldn’t handle the people so if he’s now employed and happy, who am I to complain?

It is what it is. He doe not do it in front of me and I usually can’t smell it. When I do, I do get pissed because I shouldn’t have to be subjected to it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So tired of my wife smoking weed multiple times a day, every day. When I say that it bothers me, she says "I get more done than you, it's not your place to say anything." Our teen also shouts me down and defends her mom saying "that's what she need to deal with life."

She did smoke weed when i met her 20+ years ago (not sure how often), but quit within a couple months of meeting me out of respect for the fact that I was a marathon running vegetarian health nut who hated a whiff of any kind of smoke.

IMO, I think I should have a say. I didn't sign up for a wife who would smoke weed multiple times a day. I didn't sign up for a house and a yard that often reeks of weed, in a state where it's not completely legal. I didn't sign up for someone who would pack on 40+ pounds since we met (maybe that's another thread.)

I'm not sure what my question is. Can anybody relate?

You didn’t sign up for a wife who smokes weed but you married someone who smokes weed when you met them? I’ve honestly never smoked weed in my life and your expectation that she would never smoke again seems absurd even to me.

[Anonymous]

She sounds like she has mental issues. How annoying to be around

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would not be okay with a partner self-medicating like that. She's not acting like a responsible, mature adult. It would be different if she worked with a therapist for a number of years, tried a number of meds to see if they helped, changed her lifestyle (eat healthy, sleep well, exercise and meditate daily), but then decided that the pot was the best way to manage her (diagnosed and self-acknowledge) issues.

She says I have no choice but to accept it.

You have a choice, it's called DIVORCE. You are young, get out now.

I'm 54 and we've been together for 20 years and a child, That's a lot to give up.

I's also argue 54 is not young, and my 110K salary isn't something other women are going to be beating the door down to pair up with in the DMV. At least based on this message board.

You are correct.

For some reason your wife is not having a great time right now. It would be better if she got her medical card for the weed and started out with that.

Does her job stress her out? Does she like this area? I ask because I had to go on meds just to tolerate the stress of living here, and subsequently gained 30 pounds.

Keep in mind that some people do not find exercise to be relaxing, I am one of them. I do it, but it's not at all enjoyable or relaxing for me. To lose weight at this point I have to do unenjoyable exercise every day, plus watch every single morael of food I eat, count carbs and sugars, as a 50+ year old woman. Does that sound like fun? Has your wife gone through menopause like me? That's awful as well.

She really does need to see a Dr and a therapist to try to figure some things out, even while she is smoking the daily weed. Ha she thought about trying cbd / thc oil or gummies instead of smoking?

His wife is stressed because of HIM. She's basically telling him to GTFO and instead he's sticking around to insult her. I guarantee if he left her weed intake would decrease substantially. There's a reason his daughter prefers her mom, and it's not that she breastfed her until age 3 (wtf even was that comment?).

OP, you're literally not contributing anything to this family but being a pain in everyone's butt. Not financially ($110K is a complete and utter joke for someone who expects to control his wife), not from a parenting perspective, and definitely not emotionally. Just leave and do your wife and daughter a favor.