Who smokes weed at 8 in the morning to start their Monday telework day?

[Anonymous]

Is she a rastafarian? Culturally, smoking weed all.the.time is okay. If she is a functional stoner, burn some incense...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She is self medicating. Would she try a vape pen or the tincture drops? I use the CBD/THC drops for anxiety and panic. No one can tell because there is no odor and I keep my dosage low so I’m never really stoned. I was able to stop SSRIs and Klonopin. I have PTSD.

Why not choose a run over a vape pen?

I’m a marathoner. No amount of running will ever cure PTSD. Mine is debilitating. I meditate daily. I do everything I can to prevent the panic. But when it hits, it’s brutal. Unfortunately, sometimes medication is necessary. I believe a natural remedy is the safer option when possible.

My apologies, I crossed the line in suggesting to a stranger how to deal with their mental issues. You do what is right for you.

I guess my issue it being told I need to accept behaviors that I don't like and see as in part unhealthy as part of a marriage. I mean, if I weren't married to and living with this person, I could care less what tehy did with their life.

[Anonymous]

My husband does. It controls his significant anxiety and complex PTSD. He doesn’t look or act stoned - it just enables him to get through life. I don’t love the smell either, but it’s something I’ll take over living with someone with debilitating anxiety every day. (Yes, he’s on meds, too)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is she a rastafarian? Culturally, smoking weed all.the.time is okay. If she is a functional stoner, burn some incense...

No, and she doesn't have PTSD either. She self-diagnosis as having anxiety issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband does. It controls his significant anxiety and complex PTSD. He doesn’t look or act stoned - it just enables him to get through life. I don’t love the smell either, but it’s something I’ll take over living with someone with debilitating anxiety every day. (Yes, he’s on meds, too)

Do you ever think that "Hey there's so many people out there who don't need weed to get through their day, maybe i should be married to one of them instead?"

[Anonymous]

I think she might have anxiety from living with you, based on your posts in this thread.

The fact your teen is defending her from you is a pretty bad sign.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think she might have anxiety from living with you, based on your posts in this thread.

The fact your teen is defending her from you is a pretty bad sign.

Teens will usually defend the mom who breast fed them until they were three, wiped their ass until they were ten, and buys them everything they ask for without having to do a single household chore for 14+ years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think she might have anxiety from living with you, based on your posts in this thread.

The fact your teen is defending her from you is a pretty bad sign.

Teens will usually defend the mom who breast fed them until they were three, wiped their ass until they were ten, and buys them everything they ask for without having to do a single household chore for 14+ years.

Are you OP?

Lots to unpack here.

[Anonymous]

OP, you should take the question to a doctor because on this forum you will get a lot of knee-jerk pro-weed responses, as you already see. There are people here who will swear there is no such thing as being addicted to weed, but yes, there is such a thing. Your wife is clearly self-medicating and doing it all day long so she is never fully the self she would be without the weed in her system.

https://www.drugabuse.gov/publications/research-reports/marijuana/marijuana-addictive
https://www.healthline.com/health-news/marijuana-addiction-rare-but-real-072014#Who-becomes-addicted-to-marijuana-and-why?

Posters here will insist that if it makes her feel good and she's able to work, she's fine. But it's not fine because it creates problems in her marriage. And the fact you have a teen who is defending mom's weed use is beyond troubling (read up about the impact when teens smoke weed--it affects their brain development in a big way and can have lasting effects, none good; and you can assume your teen is smoking or will smoke weed, since mom is modeling it for her all day, every day, and it's right there in the house.)

Your wife is choosing weed over you; over her kid; over any attempt to get at WHY she needs to smoke constantly. This isn't recreational use; this is "I need this substance to get through my day, all day long." That would be a red flag if the substance were wine, whiskey, opioids, and yes, even other forms of things like CBD gummies or whatever. When it's "need" and not recreation, and when it upsets the supposedly most important person in the user's life and the user does not care at all--it's a problem. Though folks here will insist it's just fine.

You need to figure out what happens next. I couldn't be married to someone who prioritized a substance (any substance) over the marriage and the family. I would at least attempt first to get that person help to see that the use, while appearing "helpful" and appearing to make her "function better," is actually self-medication for underlying issues the weed cannot treat. Maybe start with calling here:
https://www.samhsa.gov/find-help/national-helpline
The line deals with family members of people with substance use disorders. They can start to steer you to some resources. People posting here will only promote weed as beneficial, which it can be in narrow circumstances, but they don't want to believe it can be addictive and can mask mental health issues.

[Anonymous]

Dude. It’s weed. Let the woman live her life.

[Anonymous]

I’m with you, OP.

First, no one should have to live with smoker. She knew you didn’t want to. Not fair to you.

Second, what she is doing is a fireable offense.

Third, it’s not good for her health and is a bad example to your kids.

I would not bring up the 40 pounds. Just don’t go there. I would also like to add if she’s tall, and she was like 120 and skinny when you met, she still within the healthy weight range and it’s not a normal for a middle-age woman who said kids especially to gain weight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think she might have anxiety from living with you, based on your posts in this thread.

The fact your teen is defending her from you is a pretty bad sign.

Teens will usually defend the mom who breast fed them until they were three, wiped their ass until they were ten, and buys them everything they ask for without having to do a single household chore for 14+ years.

Are you OP?

Lots to unpack here.

Yes, I am OP. I'll also say that when mom has "educated" her teen for many years about the wonderful thing that weed is (but only after you're 25, when your brain is fully developed!), it's not really a stretch that your teen would be defending your doing it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m with you, OP.

First, no one should have to live with smoker. She knew you didn’t want to. Not fair to you.

Second, what she is doing is a fireable offense.

Third, it’s not good for her health and is a bad example to your kids.

I would not bring up the 40 pounds. Just don’t go there. I would also like to add if she’s tall, and she was like 120 and skinny when you met, she still within the healthy weight range and it’s not a normal for a middle-age woman who said kids especially to gain weight.

Typo. It IS normal

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m with you, OP.

First, no one should have to live with smoker. She knew you didn’t want to. Not fair to you.

Second, what she is doing is a fireable offense.

Third, it’s not good for her health and is a bad example to your kids.

I would not bring up the 40 pounds. Just don’t go there. I would also like to add if she’s tall, and she was like 120 and skinny when you met, she still within the healthy weight range and it’s not a normal for a middle-age woman who said kids especially to gain weight.

Since you did go there, she was 5'9" 152 when I met here. I was fine with her not being skinny. Medium is quite alright to me. She now weighs about 195. I'm pretty sure that's also out of the healthy weight range.

I'm 5'9" 185, about the same as when we met.

I think overeating is another way of self-medicating, but I don't want to piss off the pro-weed and pro-fat people all in one thread.

[Anonymous]

You sound very judgmental and a health nut on top of that. In my experience, health nuts can be their own kind of unbearable with their constant judging and "encouragement" to be healthier. It sounds like she does well in her job as well as gets more done around the house than you? How much time do you spend going on runs and bike rides leaving her with the brunt of the housework? Exercise can be addictive and lead to more health problems than pot smoking. My husband used to smoke a lot of pot when we first met so I do get it, but in his case it was impacting his motivation and when he realized that he stopped. Did you say she won't consider vaping instead of smoking? Vaping does not smell nearly as bad.