I was seen multi dating by the guy I like more

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Guy 1 having sex with another woman. PURE ASSUMPTION.

OP having sex with guy 2 and guy 3 while not having sex with the guy (1) she supposedly really likes. FIRST POST.

If Guy 1 wants a a commitment, he needs to be a man and say it.

[Anonymous]

My goodness - 20 pages in and some people still cannot see that there are 2 different issues at play.

1. OP having sex with multiple guys (which most say is fine).

2. OP's assertion that #1 is LTR guy but not worthy of sleeping with while #2 and #3 are and #1's reaction to the whole scene. Two different issues!!!

I guess the rub for me is this. A lot of men have told us how men would feel in that situation. Surprising to me, it is not that different than how I would feel if I saw I guy I was "dating" out with another girl. I imagine I might be a little put off about it even if were supposed to be exclusive or not. The problem I have with this whole thread is that a lot of us (women) in this thread are either mixing the two issues or arguing with the men about whether a man's feelings are valid.

If guy #1 wanted to be exclusive, he probably should have spoken up. But NONE of us were there except OP, and body language, unspoken cues, and implications arising from things that were said could play into this.

[Anonymous]

ie if guy 1 is the one holding out for sex not OP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My goodness - 20 pages in and some people still cannot see that there are 2 different issues at play.

1. OP having sex with multiple guys (which most say is fine).

2. OP's assertion that #1 is LTR guy but not worthy of sleeping with while #2 and #3 are and #1's reaction to the whole scene. Two different issues!!!

I guess the rub for me is this. A lot of men have told us how men would feel in that situation. Surprising to me, it is not that different than how I would feel if I saw I guy I was "dating" out with another girl. I imagine I might be a little put off about it even if were supposed to be exclusive or not. The problem I have with this whole thread is that a lot of us (women) in this thread are either mixing the two issues or arguing with the men about whether a man's feelings are valid.

If guy #1 wanted to be exclusive, he probably should have spoken up. But NONE of us were there except OP, and body language, unspoken cues, and implications arising from things that were said could play into this.

Finally, a sane voice. Thank you!

[Anonymous]

I didn't get the sense that she was "making him wait" just that they happened to not have sex yet. She didn't say anything about the guy bringing it up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No no no. You guys are making it seem like Mr 1 is somehow less to me than the second guy. That is completely not true. Guy 2 was there just after I had a bit of a dry spell in dating. It's not like I consciously went out of my way for him because I didn't. Guy 1, I did. We spend a lot of time together, enjoy doing stuff together and I really think we could be a great couple.

So I didn't treat Guy 1 poorly. The sex thing was just to take a bit slower than in the past so it's isn't just a physical thing with him. But I can see how it may not look that way I guess

See? She absolutely said she was taking it slowly with "guy she likes" while banging another guy. Why is this thread still alive? Apparently, women want to put the onus on guy #1 and don't see the problem with, no matter how adamant or assertive he could have been, she was already sleeping with two other guys (one of them regularly).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I didn't get the sense that she was "making him wait" just that they happened to not have sex yet. She didn't say anything about the guy bringing it up.

LOL

[Anonymous]

The only reason Guy 1 "found out" that she was sleeping with Guy 2 is because this ENTIRE STORY is made up, from being spotted at the club to "why don't you dress like that for me," to Guy 1 dragging out the truth about Guy 2.

[Anonymous]

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The only reason Guy 1 "found out" that she was sleeping with Guy 2 is because this ENTIRE STORY is made up, from being spotted at the club to "why don't you dress like that for me," to Guy 1 dragging out the truth about Guy 2.

Why? Because it doesn't fit your belief system? It's possible it's made up and possible it's real.
Guys notice outfits on women. They don't care who the designer is or what it costs. May not even notice the color so much. But, if it's a "sexy outfit," as in one we'd love to see you in, we notice.

[Anonymous]

Hi again everyone. I think my guy and I are going to be able to give it a go. Anyway here's my update.

Someone suggested that I do some nice things for him (pretty obvious!). Anyway, I sent him flowers at his office yesterday. He then texted me thank you and a couple of minutes later followed it up with a cute "...but I would have preferred a ***job and a smiley face." Anyhow, I got the message loud and clear. I called and told him I wanted to take him out for dinner and he accepted so we went to a nice romantic restaurant and ended up back at my condo. We got romantic.... He was actually more aggressive than I thought he would be, but it was a really good sexy surprise and I enjoyed our time "together" and for sure he did too!

We did discuss "us" and our relationship and he actually apologized for taking things for granted before, since we had not talked about being exclusive. I told him I wanted us to be exclusive but he said that right now he wasn't sure where his head was and that we should play it by ear. I asked him what he meant by that and he said that he wasn't sure about being exclusive right now cause he felt hurt and stuff. I didn't push it because I really don't want to lose him - he really is a nice guy and I do want a future with him. So that's it for now. We're supposed to get together again tonight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hi again everyone. I think my guy and I are going to be able to give it a go. Anyway here's my update.

Someone suggested that I do some nice things for him (pretty obvious!). Anyway, I sent him flowers at his office yesterday. He then texted me thank you and a couple of minutes later followed it up with a cute "...but I would have preferred a ***job and a smiley face." Anyhow, I got the message loud and clear. I called and told him I wanted to take him out for dinner and he accepted so we went to a nice romantic restaurant and ended up back at my condo. We got romantic.... He was actually more aggressive than I thought he would be, but it was a really good sexy surprise and I enjoyed our time "together" and for sure he did too!

We did discuss "us" and our relationship and he actually apologized for taking things for granted before, since we had not talked about being exclusive. I told him I wanted us to be exclusive but he said that right now he wasn't sure where his head was and that we should play it by ear. I asked him what he meant by that and he said that he wasn't sure about being exclusive right now cause he felt hurt and stuff. I didn't push it because I really don't want to lose him - he really is a nice guy and I do want a future with him. So that's it for now. We're supposed to get together again tonight.

Man here.

Did he tell you this before, or after, sex?

If it was after, I think you may have just gotten played. If you bought him flowers and had sex, you're definitely putting yourself out there for him in a sincere way. He needs to appreciate the risk that you are taking and stop being "hurt."

But, maybe he'll end up being a nice guy. Who knows?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hi again everyone. I think my guy and I are going to be able to give it a go. Anyway here's my update.

Someone suggested that I do some nice things for him (pretty obvious!). Anyway, I sent him flowers at his office yesterday. He then texted me thank you and a couple of minutes later followed it up with a cute "...but I would have preferred a ***job and a smiley face." Anyhow, I got the message loud and clear. I called and told him I wanted to take him out for dinner and he accepted so we went to a nice romantic restaurant and ended up back at my condo. We got romantic.... He was actually more aggressive than I thought he would be, but it was a really good sexy surprise and I enjoyed our time "together" and for sure he did too!

We did discuss "us" and our relationship and he actually apologized for taking things for granted before, since we had not talked about being exclusive. I told him I wanted us to be exclusive but he said that right now he wasn't sure where his head was and that we should play it by ear. I asked him what he meant by that and he said that he wasn't sure about being exclusive right now cause he felt hurt and stuff. I didn't push it because I really don't want to lose him - he really is a nice guy and I do want a future with him. So that's it for now. We're supposed to get together again tonight.

If I started seeing someone and caught her on a date with another guy, I would not want to become exclusive with that person, at least not right away. If she was good in bed, I would continue sleeping with her until I found someone I wanted to be exclusive with.

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry to say this but I think he is playing you. Maybe be has sincere feelings and was hurt by seeing you out, but now I feel he is taking advantage of you trying to make up for it all. You did nothing wrong in my mind. I don't think this man has any intentions of becoming exclusive and now is using your apologies, dinner, and most importantly, sex until he finds someone else. I would move on from this immediately.

[Anonymous]

Something is fishy here. Guy #1 is hurt by seeing you out with another guy yet you weren't exclusive. Now that you have verbally opened up to you wanting to be exclusive, he isn't " ready". Sorry to say OP but it looks like he is taking what he can from you without seeing anything serious in the future. If he was so hurt thinking you were exclusive, he would want to make you his so there is no chance you would have other dates.