I was seen multi dating by the guy I like more

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For sure he did not like seeing me out with guy 2. He actually hated it.

As far as him using me like a couple of you said, well yeah, I thought about that. But you know I also thought even if he is, how is that really different than guy 2? With guy 2, it was all and only about sex. With Mr 1, it's now sex AND more. So I don't think it's fair to slam him because now we had sex. Does this make sense?

Is this the first time you had sex with #1? I'm having a hard time following.

Did #1 think you were exclusive but you weren't even sleeping with him?

Does that matter? We're "inventing" what determines exclusivity all of a sudden?
He inferred exclusivity by time spent (wrong on his part), but if you're asking if he slept with her and that's why he thought it, then guy #2 could have easily believed he had exclusivity with her, considering she kept coming back for more.

Seems like guy #1 is damned either way, according to DCUM.
Angry woman 1: Women are allowed to have casual sex.
Angry woman 2: Why would guy #1 think it's something more if he didn't sleep with her?
Angry woman 3: It's called taking your time and getting to know someone before sex. If he likes her, he'd respect that.

Seems like women will define sex to mean whatever they want it to mean during an argument.

Pick ONE argument at stick with it, if you're going to keep attacking guy 1's predicament in all this.

[Anonymous]

I think the lesson everyone should learn from this is that if you're wondering whether you're exclusive with someone, you should ask them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, kudos to you for putting yourself out there and being vulnerable, but keep your options open! He took for granted first that you were already exclusive and now he's doing it again. I agree with a PP, you shouldn't allow anyone to use you.

I'm sorry, how did he take for granted that they were exclusive? Did you read the whole thread? She said that she knew he assumed they were exclusive and she understood how he felt that way. She encouraged him to feel that way. I think what you meant to say was kudos to OP for manipulating another persons feelings.

Uh, no. If anything, I believe he assumed she was being monogamous and was riding the fence as well. So many women have been burned when making assumptions of exclusivity. OP, don't play that game with him. He should be "over" this quickly or he will string you along or punish you for the duration of the relationship (if there ever is one).

[Anonymous]

He sounds really whiny. You have fun with your beta. You had to buy him flowers and wine and dine him to try to convince him to forgive you and take you back? Yuck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For sure he did not like seeing me out with guy 2. He actually hated it.

As far as him using me like a couple of you said, well yeah, I thought about that. But you know I also thought even if he is, how is that really different than guy 2? With guy 2, it was all and only about sex. With Mr 1, it's now sex AND more. So I don't think it's fair to slam him because now we had sex. Does this make sense?

Is this the first time you had sex with #1? I'm having a hard time following.

Did #1 think you were exclusive but you weren't even sleeping with him?

Does that matter? We're "inventing" what determines exclusivity all of a sudden?
He inferred exclusivity by time spent (wrong on his part), but if you're asking if he slept with her and that's why he thought it, then guy #2 could have easily believed he had exclusivity with her, considering she kept coming back for more.

Seems like guy #1 is damned either way, according to DCUM.
Angry woman 1: Women are allowed to have casual sex.
Angry woman 2: Why would guy #1 think it's something more if he didn't sleep with her?
Angry woman 3: It's called taking your time and getting to know someone before sex. If he likes her, he'd respect that.

Seems like women will define sex to mean whatever they want it to mean during an argument.

Pick ONE argument at stick with it, if you're going to keep attacking guy 1's predicament in all this.

Guy 1 is not a victim. He would be just as capable as the woman of bringing up being exclusive.

[Anonymous]

Hopefully he decided to commit in a few weeks given his temper tantrum. Which was justified if he meant what he said.

Good thing you did the sex with guy #1. That was the only way to fix that problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, kudos to you for putting yourself out there and being vulnerable, but keep your options open! He took for granted first that you were already exclusive and now he's doing it again. I agree with a PP, you shouldn't allow anyone to use you.

I'm sorry, how did he take for granted that they were exclusive? Did you read the whole thread? She said that she knew he assumed they were exclusive and she understood how he felt that way. She encouraged him to feel that way. I think what you meant to say was kudos to OP for manipulating another persons feelings.

Uh, no. If anything, I believe he assumed she was being monogamous and was riding the fence as well. So many women have been burned when making assumptions of exclusivity. OP, don't play that game with him. He should be "over" this quickly or he will string you along or punish you for the duration of the relationship (if there ever is one).

What, in all that's been written, would lead you to the conclusion that, prior to all this, he was on the fence? Why would you conclude he's going to "punish" her??? Maybe, just maybe, the situation unfolded in way that caused him to be unsure about OP.

[Anonymous]

I would HATE to be him and see OP with someone else. But I would also be a grown up and acknowledge that whatever we were doing hadn't been defined and had that conversation. That's what adults do. Not wimpy guys who are having a harsh flashback of seeing a jock with the woman they like. His behavior is bitch-like right now.

He made the point himself that they had not stated that they were exclusive. So he's aware. It's like he was enjoying taking his time with her until he realized she had other options and now he's whining. He's had several days since seeing her on another date to decide if he wants a relationship or not. So they have sex and he is still unsure? This is probably why he's in the situation he's in to begin with. Grow a pair and make a decision. That's why some guys are more successful with women. They're decisive.

[Anonymous]

I only feel bad for guy 1 to a point. He did get the shit end of the stick to begin with. However, should things work out, do NOT stick around if he makes comments like, "Oh, is this what you did for him as well?"

If he does any of that shit, run.

[Anonymous]

Alright OP now the question we all want answered: who is better in the sack guy 1 or guy 2?!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Alright OP now the question we all want answered: who is better in the sack guy 1 or guy 2?!

My vote is #1...Amore! It makea the sexa so gooda!

[Anonymous]

Why do men and women have to play such games? Why can't the two of them be grown ups, acknowledge that the situation got complicated, and if they think they can get something going, focus on that? There is always going to be someone more attractive or better in bed or funnier. You have to live in the present.

[Anonymous]

I don't think it matters who she had sex with. If they were not exclusively dating, she can date as many people as she wants.

She can say to him that she would like to be exclusive with #1 if he is interested. If not, move on. I don't think anyone has the right to be annoyed unless they have already had the exclusive discussion.

[Anonymous]

Assuming this isn't fiction, they should both move on. The relationship is damaged goods. Guy 1's pride is hurt. OP's first time with Guy 1 happened because she felt obligated. Too much future drama potential. Hopefully Guy 1 learned a lesson about being in the friend zone. If the spark isn't there, best to move on unless you just want to be pals.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think it matters who she had sex with. If they were not exclusively dating, she can date as many people as she wants.

She can say to him that she would like to be exclusive with #1 if he is interested. If not, move on. I don't think anyone has the right to be annoyed unless they have already had the exclusive discussion.

Because she didn't want to be exclusive with #1 until she was seen out with #2.

If she wasn't seen out, would she still be dating both right now? Probably.

She wanted her cake and eat it too. It didn't work out. So now she is salvaging what she can.