I was seen multi dating by the guy I like more

[Anonymous]

Hi all. I could use some advice.

I’m 28 and single but want to settle down. I had a dry spell in the dating world until about a couple of months ago when I met three guys (great! – or so I thought) at about the same time. They all asked me out and I said yes.

Guy 1 is a real gentleman and we have great chemistry. We’ve gone out a lot and I really like him a lot. I can definitely see us “long term.”

Guy 2 is more kinda like a jock. He’s pretty gregarious and knows what he wants. We “did it” soon after we met. When we get together it’s fireworks but only in one way…

Guy 3 was also extraverted but I regretted “being with” him and he never called back which was a good thing.

Well, last Friday I was out with Guy 2 at a lounge restaurant place. We were kind of tipsy and laughing when in walks Guy 1 with a bunch of his buddies. He saw me and I think his face looked surprised. He gave me a tight smile and nodded but didn’t come over. At that point I realized that I really would have preferred being there with Guy 1 and not Guy 2.

I kept looking in his direction but he never looked my way. At some point I think he went to the men's room but I didn’t see him come back.

I got a text from Guy 1 Saturday morning that he had to cancel our date that night because he said (but I don’t believe him) he had to work. I said OK, how about Monday? He said OK and I’m going to see him in a bit so I’m wondering what he’s going to ask and how I should handle things delicately, assuming he brings up last Friday at all.

[Anonymous]

Why don't you be pro-active and bring it up yourself. There's nothing wrong with what you've been doing. You didn't discuss having an exclusive relationship with either guy, right? Right.

"Hey Larlo. Let's talk about Friday - it seemed like you were really surprised."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hi all. I could use some advice.

I’m 28 and single but want to settle down. I had a dry spell in the dating world until about a couple of months ago when I met three guys (great! – or so I thought) at about the same time. They all asked me out and I said yes.

Guy 1 is a real gentleman and we have great chemistry. We’ve gone out a lot and I really like him a lot. I can definitely see us “long term.”

Guy 2 is more kinda like a jock. He’s pretty gregarious and knows what he wants. We “did it” soon after we met. When we get together it’s fireworks but only in one way…

Guy 3 was also extraverted but I regretted “being with” him and he never called back which was a good thing.

Well, last Friday I was out with Guy 2 at a lounge restaurant place. We were kind of tipsy and laughing when in walks Guy 1 with a bunch of his buddies. He saw me and I think his face looked surprised. He gave me a tight smile and nodded but didn’t come over. At that point I realized that I really would have preferred being there with Guy 1 and not Guy 2.

I kept looking in his direction but he never looked my way. At some point I think he went to the men's room but I didn’t see him come back.

I got a text from Guy 1 Saturday morning that he had to cancel our date that night because he said (but I don’t believe him) he had to work. I said OK, how about Monday? He said OK and I’m going to see him in a bit so I’m wondering what he’s going to ask and how I should handle things delicately, assuming he brings up last Friday at all.

A ha - the guy with LT potential doesn't get laid but the cocky jock does. Case closed.

[Anonymous]

Agree with PP. You can also tell him what you told us. That the time you spent helped clarify in your mind that Guy 1 was who you really would have preferred to be with.
(I realize that's breaking "The Rules" but whatever.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hi all. I could use some advice.

I’m 28 and single but want to settle down. I had a dry spell in the dating world until about a couple of months ago when I met three guys (great! – or so I thought) at about the same time. They all asked me out and I said yes.

Guy 1 is a real gentleman and we have great chemistry. We’ve gone out a lot and I really like him a lot. I can definitely see us “long term.”

Guy 2 is more kinda like a jock. He’s pretty gregarious and knows what he wants. We “did it” soon after we met. When we get together it’s fireworks but only in one way…

Guy 3 was also extraverted but I regretted “being with” him and he never called back which was a good thing.

Well, last Friday I was out with Guy 2 at a lounge restaurant place. We were kind of tipsy and laughing when in walks Guy 1 with a bunch of his buddies. He saw me and I think his face looked surprised. He gave me a tight smile and nodded but didn’t come over. At that point I realized that I really would have preferred being there with Guy 1 and not Guy 2.

I kept looking in his direction but he never looked my way. At some point I think he went to the men's room but I didn’t see him come back.

I got a text from Guy 1 Saturday morning that he had to cancel our date that night because he said (but I don’t believe him) he had to work. I said OK, how about Monday? He said OK and I’m going to see him in a bit so I’m wondering what he’s going to ask and how I should handle things delicately, assuming he brings up last Friday at all.

A ha - the guy with LT potential doesn't get laid but the cocky jock does. Case closed.

This has to be a troll right? considering the multitude of threads this particular topic has recently spawned in some way, shape, or form in this forum?

[Anonymous]

Dating multiple people is no biggie. Sleeping with 2 output of 3, week you've screwed yourself. You've created the mess and now you're in a bind.

BTW, he has a deep suspicion you slept with guy 2 so if he brings it up don't lie.

Sorry to say, but you definitely do not sound ready to settle down if you're sleeping with multiple guys yet believe to be "looking" for Mr. Right.

[Anonymous]

He's probably not going to bring it up. He's probably already moved on.

You need to take the initiative. Either let him know that you want to date him exclusively, or let go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Agree with PP. You can also tell him what you told us. That the time you spent helped clarify in your mind that Guy 1 was who you really would have preferred to be with.
(I realize that's breaking "The Rules" but whatever.)

+1 If you were not exclusively dating Guy 1, then maybe now he will get a clue and start dating exclusively. Good Luck!

[Anonymous]

OP, did you sleep with #1 or just the other two? Even if you didn't have the exclusive talk, it's not fun having it thrown in your face.

[Anonymous]

I think you should go out with Guy 1 on Monday and just have fun. You do not need to have a deep, private talk about him seeing you out with another guy because neither one of you have committed yourselves to the other one. You don't owe each other any explanations.

You also owe no details about guy 2. If it comes up, just laugh and say he was a date and shake your head and give guy 1 a knowing smile (like you're saying "Oh that guy was a mistake"). Then proceed to focus on your date with guy 1.

[Anonymous]

yeah, he's done with you. take heed to the lesson you;ve just been taught.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:yeah, he's done with you. take heed to the lesson you;ve just been taught.

So done with her that he's going out with her again on Monday? Does that even make sense to you?

[Anonymous]

This sounds awkward but it's not a big deal. Sounds like it's early on with Guy #1 and you're not a couple yet, so you weren't cheating or doing anything wrong.

[Anonymous]

OP, at the least you are going to have a talk with #1 to see where it is heading. If I were him, wouldn't necessarily be angry or even care if you slept with #2, but I would absolutely not settle for anything less than honesty.

Unless he is an idiot, the body language between you and #2 said it all. But don't dick around with #1. If you really don't want to be exclusive, tell him. Unless of course he is also interested in dating around.

[Anonymous]

OP it's Monday, post an update!