I was seen multi dating by the guy I like more

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Something is fishy here. Guy #1 is hurt by seeing you out with another guy yet you weren't exclusive. Now that you have verbally opened up to you wanting to be exclusive, he isn't " ready". Sorry to say OP but it looks like he is taking what he can from you without seeing anything serious in the future. If he was so hurt thinking you were exclusive, he would want to make you his so there is no chance you would have other dates.

He probably did not enjoy seeing her out with another guy but most likely is also seeing other people. He doesn't want to be exclusive.

[Anonymous]

For sure he did not like seeing me out with guy 2. He actually hated it.

As far as him using me like a couple of you said, well yeah, I thought about that. But you know I also thought even if he is, how is that really different than guy 2? With guy 2, it was all and only about sex. With Mr 1, it's now sex AND more. So I don't think it's fair to slam him because now we had sex. Does this make sense?

[Anonymous]

OP, as a man, I think you handled this about as reasonably as a person can.

If I was Guy 1, and you sent me flowers, took me out to dinner and then had sex, I would have been touched and won over. I'm not sure what else you could have done.

If he is still "hurt" after that, it seems like he is being unreasonably sulky or he is playing you.

[Anonymous]

Way too much drama. Move on.

[Anonymous]

So now he's going to be "getting back" at you by dating other women? Not terribly mature IMO and doesn't bode well for your relationship if he's the vindictive type. I'd pass on this one. GL, OP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For sure he did not like seeing me out with guy 2. He actually hated it.

As far as him using me like a couple of you said, well yeah, I thought about that. But you know I also thought even if he is, how is that really different than guy 2? With guy 2, it was all and only about sex. With Mr 1, it's now sex AND more. So I don't think it's fair to slam him because now we had sex. Does this make sense?

Reading this comment broke my heart. Do you have any self-respect or confidence? How is it ok for him to use you because guy #2 did? You shouldn't let any person " use" you, especially for sex. Instead of looking for a relationship, you should think of reevaluate your life and learning self-love.

What's doesn't make sense is to let guy #1 use you for sex because guy #2 did. You, my dear seem to be suffering from self issues.

[Anonymous]

19:01 here again.

At this point, the ball is in his court. If he was serious enough about you to have been genuinely hurt, then he should willing to demonstrate some sense of commitment to you, as you have done for him.

If he continues waffling on the issue of exclusivity, after you put yourself out there like that, then I'd move on. Either he is playing you, or he has a passive aggressive streak. Either way, bad news.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't worry too much...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:19:01 here again.

At this point, the ball is in his court. If he was serious enough about you to have been genuinely hurt, then he should willing to demonstrate some sense of commitment to you, as you have done for him.

If he continues waffling on the issue of exclusivity, after you put yourself out there like that, then I'd move on. Either he is playing you, or he has a passive aggressive streak. Either way, bad news.

+1. Give it a few weeks and if he is still so hurt he can't "be exclusive" but willing to be a bed partner or worse yet starts actively pursuing other women while stringing you along then I don't think he is the one for a LTR and it's better you found out now. Also by "not being exclusive" right now, does that mean you are free to take up with guy #2 again and he is free to sleep with the next women he goes out on a date with?

Personally, I would clarify what "not exclusive" means and agree that if either of you starts sleeping with another person you need to be up front so there is no further miscommunication. I'm assuming while you are "not being exclusive" you aren't going back to guy 2 and aren't actively pursuing dates and I'm assuming by "not being exclusive" he is trying to figure out if he wants to commit as opposed to actively pursuing other options but then again assumptions are what got everyone is this pickle to begin with.

[Anonymous]

Is there an emoticon for fingers extended and moving like a quacking duck? Just curious.

[Anonymous]

22 pAges later. Did op ever follow up?

[Anonymous]

OP, kudos to you for putting yourself out there and being vulnerable, but keep your options open! He took for granted first that you were already exclusive and now he's doing it again. I agree with a PP, you shouldn't allow anyone to use you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:22 pAges later. Did op ever follow up?

did you read only the title and decided to post?

take a moment and read the page 21 and you'll have your answer

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, kudos to you for putting yourself out there and being vulnerable, but keep your options open! He took for granted first that you were already exclusive and now he's doing it again. I agree with a PP, you shouldn't allow anyone to use you.

I'm sorry, how did he take for granted that they were exclusive? Did you read the whole thread? She said that she knew he assumed they were exclusive and she understood how he felt that way. She encouraged him to feel that way. I think what you meant to say was kudos to OP for manipulating another persons feelings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For sure he did not like seeing me out with guy 2. He actually hated it.

As far as him using me like a couple of you said, well yeah, I thought about that. But you know I also thought even if he is, how is that really different than guy 2? With guy 2, it was all and only about sex. With Mr 1, it's now sex AND more. So I don't think it's fair to slam him because now we had sex. Does this make sense?

Is this the first time you had sex with #1? I'm having a hard time following.

Did #1 think you were exclusive but you weren't even sleeping with him?