Less successful sister is acting like she's the de facto owner of dad's beach house
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Anonymous
Ugh, my situation too. |
Anonymous
Both of you need to get a lawyer. A will executor can’t make decisions on how to allocate the estate. They are legally required to distribute the estate strictly per the requirements of the will. |
Anonymous
In my relative’s situation, the executor is nickel and dime-ing the estate- charging to drive back and forth to the county courthouse, charging to drive the 10 miles back and forth from the decedent’s house to his own house, charging for cleaning supplies. All perfectly legal, but other people we know who have been executors have not charged the estate for these nit-picky things. My cousin has some questions about how items are being sold, but the executor refuses to answer any questions. |
Anonymous
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Your mistake was buying your own beach house nearby! It has become easier for her to convince her dad that you already have a beach house and she doesn’t!
Your third sibling should pick up on the vibes and start making their own moves towards dad and the house! |
Anonymous
That’s legitimate. Being executor is a time-consuming and PITA job. They shouldn’t have to pay out of pocket for this work. Then again, the executor should communicate well with the heirs and be honest and open in distributing the assets according to the wishes of the decedent. |
Anonymous
The only greedy one in this scenerio is the sister. OP just wants what is fair. |
Anonymous
| Scenario. Sorry |
Anonymous
There is literally no indication that the father’s will won’t be fair. OP is just obsessing over whether her sister might get more because her sister spends more time with their dad. |
Anonymous
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I’ve seen plenty of families where adult children don’t want to do any work or provide any companionship for their parents, but they certainly are busy watching bank statements.
Given the derogatory way OP talks about her sister, perhaps she’s not the most reliable reporter on her family. |
Anonymous
Also, who is to say what is fair? If you are my child but an obnoxious ass, maybe I have other children I’d prefer get my money. |
Anonymous
This forum is full of unhappy trolls who see themselves in the scheming freeloader sister. Just be passive, let a sibling steal a million dollars from you. No big deal. Yeah, right. |
Anonymous
Yes, I think it just adds to their sense that the executor sibling is not handling things fairly. He is being very secretive about where certain assets are and refuses to answer any questions, just saying that they’ll all find out everything at the end of probate. Meanwhile, my cousin is concerned that he is selling assets and not keeping accurate records of what items sold for and pocketing any extra cash. He has mentioned to other relatives that he needs money more than his other siblings and that it is not “right” that they should get the same amount he gets. I told my cousin to consult with a lawyer and I think she is going to. She certainly could use some good advice. |
Anonymous
Nobody is stealing ANYTHING from her. Not one cent of it is her money, nor is she entitled to it. |
Anonymous
Similar here except my parent and sibling are the ones who are trying to screw me. My grandmother's estate was clear that the entire cash in the estate was to be split 3 ways between me, sibling and our dad, and the property going to Dad (houses in a Midwest market worth about $200k) . Dad wasn't pleased, as he felt that as the only child, he should have inherited the entire estate. My spouse and I are more financially stable than both my dad and sibling He feels that he and sibling are more deserving because they have less so we "need" the money less. Though the reason they have less is entirely due to dad refusing to work gainfully after divorce from my mother to avoid paying child support and just relying on his parents to pay for life and sibling feeling similarly as though they should be subsidized in life by others. Neither have diagnosed mental health issues or traumas, they are just lazy entitled brats. Sibling did marry an alcoholic who works harder than sibling ever has. My dad convinced sibling to fight me for my third and came up with this narrative that a large gift my grandfather had given to me 5 years ago ($100k to be used as downpayment towards a house and repaying part of a student loan that grandparents had given my dad the money for decades ago that never was given to me) should be taken from my share of the estate and split between the two of them so that they would each get an extra $50k. Entire estate was worth about $400k, leaving us each $133k. Dad's plan would have then left me with $33k and each of them with $183k. Dad even had grandmother record a deathbed video saying that plan, but the trust docs were clear and revised by grands AFTER I received the $100k gift. Also, the estate was valued at just under $900k a decade ago, but my dad got over $500k in cash over the past decade from them for various things. Executor told me the plan and I said nope. If they want to challenge it, they can take me to court and I can afford to pay a lawyer, it will hurt them more than me plus they will lose bc estate doc is clear. Executor (who is a lawyer and a friend of my sibling) agreed and told them both that it was not advisable as they would likely lose. Sibling still doesn't talk to me because they feel that I an a grifter. IDGAF because had I let it go, I would have been swindled out of the money and still lost a sibling because of the deceit.I'd rather have the money, which ALL went to college saving for my children, which is exactly what both grandparents desired and voiced to me over the years. My dad has dropped it because he doesn't want to lose me as he's no fool and figures that he will be relying on me to take care of him as he ages. Grifters will grift and you should protect yourself at all costs, because the outcome is ALWAYS a breakdown of the relationship. So, if you're going to lose the relationship, you should at least get what has been fairly left to you. |
Anonymous
Was there an equalization provision in the will or trust? They sometimes contain those. They say that lifetime gifts count against inheritance. For example, a common usage of these is when you have a bunch of grandchildren of different ages that you’ve been giving $15,000 a year too and the youngest get screwed if that’s not equaled out from the grandparents died. So the youngest will get more to make up for the fact that the oldest got more lifetime gifts |