Reply to Less successful sister is acting like she's the de facto owner of dad's beach house

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Reply to "Less successful sister is acting like she's the de facto owner of dad's beach house"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You have your own friggin beach house. Dammit. Count your blessings, let dad give her the beach house. Why are you so jealous???[/quote]

Because she has saved and made sacrifices to own the beach house, whereas the sister hasn’t. [/quote]

Yeah but how often is OP visiting her dad and helping him out? Maybe the sister is helping care for him or spends time with him and that provides companionship and comfort to him? [/quote]

The sister doesn't even hold a job!  [/quote]

So what? She still is showing up for the father. How ofter in OP visiting? [/quote]

If a $1m house wasn't at stake, would she be there?[/quote]

Would OP care if her dad didn’t own a mortgage free property? I wonder if the other sibling also cares or this is just an OP issue. [/quote]

So we have a sister who is unemployed -vs- OP works, OP's husband works, OP and husband have stable income and good credit history to qualify for a pricey second mortgage, OP and husband went out of their way to buy a vacation home next to her father. And you think OP is the hustler here? Quite a long con.  :roll: [/quote]

None of those things mean OP isn’t more interested in accumulating more money than about her father.  I mean, let’s think about this.  OP apparently had enough free cash to buy her own beach house but is willing to torch her relationship with her sister now over the chance that she might not also get 1/3 of the value of her father’s beach house.  OP clearly doesn’t need to at money, she just wants it.[/quote]

THIS. Just because you have more money that does not mean your greed is any more palatable. OP’s father has buried his wife. He now has at least one daughter anticipating her windfall after his death. I feel sorry for dad.[/quote]

No, OP just wants things to be fair and sees her lazy younger sister moving in for the kill. That's a huge asset and one that I'd be concerned about, too. That type of asset would be life-changing and is sometimes all people have. So, it's not greed to make sure it's shared.[/quote]

+1 it’s not greed to protect your share of any inheritance. The sister doesn’t have more rights to it because she is less rich.[/quote]

Yep. We have this situation in my extended family right now. The sibling who is the executor (and has trouble holding down a job) is trying to see that the “better off” sibling gets less- because they don’t need it as much.

Sorry, when parents write a will indicating that everything should be split equally, that’s what they mean. If they thought some siblings should get more because they have less, they would have had their will written that way. 
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Ugh, my situation too.[/quote]
Both of you need to get a lawyer. A will executor can’t make decisions on how to allocate the estate. They are legally required to distribute the estate strictly per the requirements of the will.[/quote]

In my relative’s situation, the executor is nickel and dime-ing the estate- charging to drive back and forth to the county courthouse, charging to drive the 10 miles back and forth from the decedent’s house to his own house, charging for cleaning supplies. All perfectly legal, but other people we know who have been executors have not charged the estate for these nit-picky things. My cousin has some questions about how items are being sold, but the executor refuses to answer any questions.  
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That’s legitimate. Being executor is a time-consuming and PITA job. They shouldn’t have to pay out of pocket for this work. Then again, the executor should communicate well with the heirs and be honest and open in distributing the assets according to the wishes of the decedent.[/quote]

Yes, I think it just adds to their sense that the executor sibling is not handling things fairly. He is being very secretive about where certain assets are and refuses to answer any questions, just saying that they’ll all find out everything at the end of probate. Meanwhile, my cousin is concerned that he is selling assets and not keeping accurate records of what items sold for and pocketing any extra cash. He has mentioned to other relatives that he needs money more than his other siblings and that it is not “right” that they should get the same amount he gets.

I told my cousin to consult with a lawyer and I think she is going to. She certainly could use some good advice. 
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