Reply to Less successful sister is acting like she's the de facto owner of dad's beach house

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You have your own friggin beach house. Dammit. Count your blessings, let dad give her the beach house. Why are you so jealous???[/quote]

Because she has saved and made sacrifices to own the beach house, whereas the sister hasn’t. [/quote]

Yeah but how often is OP visiting her dad and helping him out? Maybe the sister is helping care for him or spends time with him and that provides companionship and comfort to him? [/quote]

The sister doesn't even hold a job!  [/quote]

So what? She still is showing up for the father. How ofter in OP visiting? [/quote]

If a $1m house wasn't at stake, would she be there?[/quote]

Would OP care if her dad didn’t own a mortgage free property? I wonder if the other sibling also cares or this is just an OP issue. [/quote]

So we have a sister who is unemployed -vs- OP works, OP's husband works, OP and husband have stable income and good credit history to qualify for a pricey second mortgage, OP and husband went out of their way to buy a vacation home next to her father. And you think OP is the hustler here? Quite a long con.  :roll: [/quote]

None of those things mean OP isn’t more interested in accumulating more money than about her father.  I mean, let’s think about this.  OP apparently had enough free cash to buy her own beach house but is willing to torch her relationship with her sister now over the chance that she might not also get 1/3 of the value of her father’s beach house.  OP clearly doesn’t need to at money, she just wants it.[/quote]

THIS. Just because you have more money that does not mean your greed is any more palatable. OP’s father has buried his wife. He now has at least one daughter anticipating her windfall after his death. I feel sorry for dad.[/quote]

No, OP just wants things to be fair and sees her lazy younger sister moving in for the kill. That's a huge asset and one that I'd be concerned about, too. That type of asset would be life-changing and is sometimes all people have. So, it's not greed to make sure it's shared.[/quote]

+1 it’s not greed to protect your share of any inheritance. The sister doesn’t have more rights to it because she is less rich.[/quote]

Yep. We have this situation in my extended family right now. The sibling who is the executor (and has trouble holding down a job) is trying to see that the “better off” sibling gets less- because they don’t need it as much.

Sorry, when parents write a will indicating that everything should be split equally, that’s what they mean. If they thought some siblings should get more because they have less, they would have had their will written that way. 
[/quote]

Ugh, my situation too.[/quote]

Similar here except my parent and sibling are the ones who are trying to screw me. My grandmother's estate was clear that the entire cash in the estate was to be split 3 ways between me, sibling and our dad, and the property going to Dad (houses in a Midwest market worth about $200k) . Dad wasn't pleased, as he felt that as the only child, he should have inherited the entire estate. My spouse and I are more financially stable than both my dad and sibling He feels that he and sibling are more deserving because they have less so we "need" the money less. Though the reason they have less is entirely due to dad refusing to work gainfully after divorce from my mother to avoid paying child support and just relying on his parents to pay for life and sibling feeling similarly as though they should be subsidized in life by others. Neither have diagnosed mental health issues or traumas, they are just lazy entitled brats. Sibling did marry an alcoholic who works harder than sibling ever has.

My dad convinced sibling to fight me for my third and came up with this narrative that a large gift my grandfather had given to me 5 years ago ($100k to be used as downpayment towards a house and repaying part of a student loan that grandparents had given my dad the money for decades ago that never was given to me) should be taken from my share of the estate and split between the two of them so that they would each get an extra $50k. Entire estate was worth about $400k, leaving us each $133k. Dad's plan would have then left me with $33k and each of them with $183k.  Dad even had grandmother record a deathbed video saying that plan, but the trust docs were clear and revised by grands AFTER I received the $100k gift. Also, the estate was valued at just under $900k a decade ago, but my dad got over $500k in cash over the past decade from them for various things.

Executor told me the plan and I said nope. If they want to challenge it, they can take me to court and I can afford to pay a lawyer, it will hurt them more than me plus they will lose bc estate doc is clear. Executor (who is a lawyer and a friend of my sibling) agreed and told them both that it was not advisable as they would likely lose.

Sibling still doesn't talk to me because they feel that I an a grifter. IDGAF because had I let it go, I would have been swindled out of the money and still lost a sibling because of the deceit.I'd rather have the money, which ALL went to college saving for my children, which is exactly what both grandparents desired and voiced to me over the years. My dad has dropped it because he doesn't want to lose me as he's no fool and figures that he will be relying on me to take care of him as he ages.

Grifters will grift and you should protect yourself at all costs, because the outcome is ALWAYS a breakdown of the relationship. So, if you're going to lose the relationship, you should at least get what has been fairly left to you. [/quote]

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