Help - gay brother

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do you hateful gays and gay "allies" in here think you are achieving with your insults and nastiness? All you are doing is lending credence to the idea that gays and those who support gays are unhinged and crazy. As a gay man, I don't think yours is the kind of support I want.

As a queer woman, I don't have a lot of sympathy for anyone who calls their brother and his lifestyle disgusting and hides their kids from it. Frankly, I think they are bad, hateful people.

You missed my point. Any time you are going as far as to talk about someone's kids, wish death on a person, and say other despicable things, the only thing you are achieving is making yourself look like a nutjob and further arming your detractors. OP doesn't want to associate with gays because she thinks gays are destructive. So, you reinforce her POV to the max by spouting off as if you're having a breakdown. How does that make sense? Would you want to associate with people who wish unspeakable evil on strangers?

Huh? No one is wishing death on anyone. Her brother is better off without her close mindedness in her life. Her kids would be better without it as well.

She doesn't think gays are destructive. She thinks they are gross.

People are definitely wishing death on OP. Go back and reread the thread if you missed it.

Well, that's crazy. I only read about half of it. It gets old, and OP obviously doesn't actually want to change.

[Anonymous]

You guys are demanding OP make a dramatic about-face in her values, opinions, and understanding of gays in the space of one thread and you are surprised it didn't happen?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. This will be my last post. I spoke with my brother and let him know that I love him but do not want to be part of his gay lifestyle. I do not approve and I do not want homosexuality to be part of my life. I have as much of a right as the rabid posters in this thread to choose who and what are in my life. This means that he is welcome in my life, as he was before, but I will not meet his boyfriend or participate in whatever comes next between them.

He says he accepts this, but time will tell if he really does. All I know is that I will never stop hoping he decides this homosexual life is not for him, although I know that is unlikely, and I believe that love means I must be honest about what is a disgusting and destructive lifestyle.

OP, your lifestyle and disgusting and destructive if you reject your own brother because of something he didn't choose that is part of a range of normal human sexual behavior. I'm not sure you actually do love him. You are likely religious which is why you hate gays, right? Maybe you should look further into Jesus' teachings and the meaning of love.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You guys are demanding OP make a dramatic about-face in her values, opinions, and understanding of gays in the space of one thread and you are surprised it didn't happen?

I think we're just demanding that she knows good people find her values abhorrent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You guys are demanding OP make a dramatic about-face in her values, opinions, and understanding of gays in the space of one thread and you are surprised it didn't happen?

I think we're just demanding that she knows good people find her values abhorrent.

This. Also, OP wasn't clever what a bigot she was from the start. Had she been it might have gone differently.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. This will be my last post. I spoke with my brother and let him know that I love him but do not want to be part of his gay lifestyle. I do not approve and I do not want homosexuality to be part of my life. I have as much of a right as the rabid posters in this thread to choose who and what are in my life. This means that he is welcome in my life, as he was before, but I will not meet his boyfriend or participate in whatever comes next between them.

He says he accepts this, but time will tell if he really does. All I know is that I will never stop hoping he decides this homosexual life is not for him, although I know that is unlikely, and I believe that love means I must be honest about what is a disgusting and destructive lifestyle.

OP you say this is your last post. Please re-read your post out loud to yourself a couple of times to hear how selfish you sound. Because your brother is gay you are writing him out of your life. Being gay is not a disease, you can't catch neither can your children or husband.

I feel sorry for your brother, because I can only imagine how difficult this is for him and to be embarking on a new future with someone he loves, and not have his families support is heartbreaking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do you hateful gays and gay "allies" in here think you are achieving with your insults and nastiness? All you are doing is lending credence to the idea that gays and those who support gays are unhinged and crazy. As a gay man, I don't think yours is the kind of support I want.

As a queer woman, I don't have a lot of sympathy for anyone who calls their brother and his lifestyle disgusting and hides their kids from it. Frankly, I think they are bad, hateful people.

And how are you any better ? With all your equally self righteous hate

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You guys are demanding OP make a dramatic about-face in her values, opinions, and understanding of gays in the space of one thread and you are surprised it didn't happen?

I think we're just demanding that she knows good people find her values abhorrent.

What good people? There are very few good people on this thread. The vast majority is mean, cruel and intolerant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You guys are demanding OP make a dramatic about-face in her values, opinions, and understanding of gays in the space of one thread and you are surprised it didn't happen?

I think we're just demanding that she knows good people find her values abhorrent.

What good people? There are very few good people on this thread. The vast majority is mean, cruel and intolerant.

+1000

This thread is eye opening and OP is the least of it. But as someone who was in California when prop 8 passed and saw how white homosexuals used that as a pretext to foam over with racism they already harbored, I already know how hateful and awful gays, especially entitled white ones, often are.

[Anonymous]

I can't imagine rejecting a sibling because they love some one of the same gender. So sad and unnecessary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do you hateful gays and gay "allies" in here think you are achieving with your insults and nastiness? All you are doing is lending credence to the idea that gays and those who support gays are unhinged and crazy. As a gay man, I don't think yours is the kind of support I want.

As a queer woman, I don't have a lot of sympathy for anyone who calls their brother and his lifestyle disgusting and hides their kids from it. Frankly, I think they are bad, hateful people.

And how are you any better ? With all your equally self righteous hate

NO. The PP is not "equally self righteous." The PP is pointing out that someone who calls their brother disgusting and behaves as the OP is behaving is hateful. I personally think that people who behave hatefully are bad people - they are lacking in compassion and understanding. I reject this increasingly used argument that "liberals" who call out intolerance are being intolerant themselves. When the OP says that she finds her brother disgusting and will not support "his lifestyle" which as far as she has posted is being in a solid relationship with someone who wants to meet his family, it is not "INTOLERANT" to say that that is hateful.

So yes, the people saying that the OP should be compassionate toward her brother and accept him for the person he is not the person she wants him to be are better. And also righteous.

[Anonymous]

Point your brother to this thread OP, we'll be proud and happy to "adopt" him as family!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. This will be my last post. I spoke with my brother and let him know that I love him but do not want to be part of his gay lifestyle. I do not approve and I do not want homosexuality to be part of my life. I have as much of a right as the rabid posters in this thread to choose who and what are in my life. This means that he is welcome in my life, as he was before, but I will not meet his boyfriend or participate in whatever comes next between them.

He says he accepts this, but time will tell if he really does. All I know is that I will never stop hoping he decides this homosexual life is not for him, although I know that is unlikely, and I believe that love means I must be honest about what is a disgusting and destructive lifestyle.

He is only welcome in your life if he hides a huge part of his life from you. He is only welcome in your life if he pretends that he's single, and if he goes along with excluding the person he loves. Honestly, I don't think you love your brother. You love the idea you had of him, but you don't actually love him the way he is. You are not acting like a loving sister. You are asking him to choose between you and a love/partnership/marriage. He says he accepts it, but you have hurt him very deeply, and you don't even seem to care about that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. This will be my last post. I spoke with my brother and let him know that I love him but do not want to be part of his gay lifestyle. I do not approve and I do not want homosexuality to be part of my life. I have as much of a right as the rabid posters in this thread to choose who and what are in my life. This means that he is welcome in my life, as he was before, but I will not meet his boyfriend or participate in whatever comes next between them.

He says he accepts this, but time will tell if he really does. All I know is that I will never stop hoping he decides this homosexual life is not for him, although I know that is unlikely, and I believe that love means I must be honest about what is a disgusting and destructive lifestyle.

He is only welcome in your life if he hides a huge part of his life from you. He is only welcome in your life if he pretends that he's single, and if he goes along with excluding the person he loves. Honestly, I don't think you love your brother. You love the idea you had of him, but you don't actually love him the way he is. You are not acting like a loving sister. You are asking him to choose between you and a love/partnership/marriage. He says he accepts it, but you have hurt him very deeply, and you don't even seem to care about that.

I agree w/ this, and several of the pp's who quoted OP's last post with dismay. I also agree w/ those who think this is a totally lost cause.

I find this terribly depressing. But I know that this kind of judgment, bigotry and close-mindedness is becoming less prevalent in our culture - which makes me incredibly happy. And I focus my energy on raising my kids to be the kind of people to whom OP's mindset is unfathomable, and one that should be pitied.

I wish her brother much happiness and love. May he build the family for himself that he deserves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do you hateful gays and gay "allies" in here think you are achieving with your insults and nastiness? All you are doing is lending credence to the idea that gays and those who support gays are unhinged and crazy. As a gay man, I don't think yours is the kind of support I want.

As a queer woman, I don't have a lot of sympathy for anyone who calls their brother and his lifestyle disgusting and hides their kids from it. Frankly, I think they are bad, hateful people.

And how are you any better ? With all your equally self righteous hate

I'm not the one wishing death on anyone. That said, thinking someone is an asshole for being a bigot is not the same as cutting off a family member because you don't like who they are sleeping with.