Help - gay brother

[Anonymous]

19:07, your SIL is nuts. NUTS! Outrageous behavior. You should be making a daily offering to whatever deity you worship that she lives in South America and doesn't have a relationship with you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Too many pages to read them all, but wow, you suck, OP. You are so self centered. This isn't about you, you selfish, conceited bitch.

What? This is about OP and her feelings toward her brother. She started the topic to ponder that.

His coming out is not about her. Her feelings are unacceptable, frankly.

Fine - she can have no expectations. Everyone can move on. Though I do find it enlightening the amount of 'slack' that is given to the brother and the sister who came seeking advice l, and even admitted how she would be percieved, is the bigoted bitch from hell. Pot kettle black people

[Anonymous]

OP here. This will be my last post. I spoke with my brother and let him know that I love him but do not want to be part of his gay lifestyle. I do not approve and I do not want homosexuality to be part of my life. I have as much of a right as the rabid posters in this thread to choose who and what are in my life. This means that he is welcome in my life, as he was before, but I will not meet his boyfriend or participate in whatever comes next between them.

He says he accepts this, but time will tell if he really does. All I know is that I will never stop hoping he decides this homosexual life is not for him, although I know that is unlikely, and I believe that love means I must be honest about what is a disgusting and destructive lifestyle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Too many pages to read them all, but wow, you suck, OP. You are so self centered. This isn't about you, you selfish, conceited bitch.

What? This is about OP and her feelings toward her brother. She started the topic to ponder that.

His coming out is not about her. Her feelings are unacceptable, frankly.

Fine - she can have no expectations. Everyone can move on. Though I do find it enlightening the amount of 'slack' that is given to the brother and the sister who came seeking advice l, and even admitted how she would be percieved, is the bigoted bitch from hell. Pot kettle black people

No. she came asking for advice, ignored it all, and then started spouting on about not letting her kids know gay people exist.

Those are the moves of a bigot. Not sure what the brother needs slack on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. This will be my last post. I spoke with my brother and let him know that I love him but do not want to be part of his gay lifestyle. I do not approve and I do not want homosexuality to be part of my life. I have as much of a right as the rabid posters in this thread to choose who and what are in my life. This means that he is welcome in my life, as he was before, but I will not meet his boyfriend or participate in whatever comes next between them.

He says he accepts this, but time will tell if he really does. All I know is that I will never stop hoping he decides this homosexual life is not for him, although I know that is unlikely, and I believe that love means I must be honest about what is a disgusting and destructive lifestyle.

Oh, OP. Why didn't you lead with this before 19 pages got wasted? You're a nasty, close minded bigot. Your brother is better off without you and frankly your kids would be too.

[Anonymous]

OP, it is a shame your kids have no right to be educated and realize you're a cretin.

[Anonymous]

What do you hateful gays and gay "allies" in here think you are achieving with your insults and nastiness? All you are doing is lending credence to the idea that gays and those who support gays are unhinged and crazy. As a gay man, I don't think yours is the kind of support I want.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What do you hateful gays and gay "allies" in here think you are achieving with your insults and nastiness? All you are doing is lending credence to the idea that gays and those who support gays are unhinged and crazy. As a gay man, I don't think yours is the kind of support I want.

As a queer woman, I don't have a lot of sympathy for anyone who calls their brother and his lifestyle disgusting and hides their kids from it. Frankly, I think they are bad, hateful people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:19:07, your SIL is nuts. NUTS! Outrageous behavior. You should be making a daily offering to whatever deity you worship that she lives in South America and doesn't have a relationship with you.

PP here. Pissing my pants with laughter. Where was DCUM and you 15 years ago when I needed it? I was crying, heartbroken, and seriously considering calling off a wedding to a man I loved, who loved me, and whose baby I was carrying!

Seriously, though, I did get her viewpoint. Even then. I was walking around DuPont Circle during a time that it was not as upscale as it is now for an hour at night by myself pregnant so I had a lot of time to think. Thought everything would calm down and she'd apologize, and I was planning to apologize, too, and we'd start singing Kumbaya in harmony and go in for a group hug.

I understood how she "lost" her brother, that is seemed so sudden without any easing into it, that we hadn't consulted with her for the first family wedding when everyone else was consulted (she probably felt left out and ganged up on). Coming home and seeing my fiance's face red with tears somewhat turned me off to it, but I thought we'd give it a week, let her calm down, and then we will reach out and make amends -- we won't make her have to do it. There's two of us and only one of her. Then, I woke up with the email (that I've never erased -- not sure why). She had me almost convinced that if I loved him, I would leave him, so he wouldn't lose his sister and his family -- almost. I did love him and I didn't want him to lose his sister. Like I said, if I wasn't pregnant... And, that's the part that makes me believe in the Universe, because I was pregnant and it was destiny and 15 years later, we're still happily married. That's the Universe that I do make a daily offering to -- it's called kissing DH, loving him, and sticking with him thick and thin.

The Universe that made DH lose a sister. I'll never make an offering to that one. 15 years later and it still makes me feel guilty as hell.

I still can enjoy a good laugh on her behalf. Old age has made me realize that life is a giant joke, and if you don't laugh with it, it will laugh at you.

I still feel for OP's brother's SO. It's hard on the SO. Brother says screw sister, but SO sits there and feels guilty as shit for 15 years. Only way to prevent this is for sister to make it until she makes it -- apologize, go over the top, do everything she can, and she'll get there. Don't become the psycho sister who no one talks to and is exiled to Peru.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do you hateful gays and gay "allies" in here think you are achieving with your insults and nastiness? All you are doing is lending credence to the idea that gays and those who support gays are unhinged and crazy. As a gay man, I don't think yours is the kind of support I want.

As a queer woman, I don't have a lot of sympathy for anyone who calls their brother and his lifestyle disgusting and hides their kids from it. Frankly, I think they are bad, hateful people. [/quote
You missed my point. Any time you are going as far as to talk about someone's kids, wish death on a person, and say other despicable things, the only thing you are achieving is making yourself look like a nutjob and further arming your detractors. OP doesn't want to associate with gays because she thinks gays are destructive. So, you reinforce her POV to the max by spouting off as if you're having a breakdown. How does that make sense? Would you want to associate with people who wish unspeakable evil on strangers?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do you hateful gays and gay "allies" in here think you are achieving with your insults and nastiness? All you are doing is lending credence to the idea that gays and those who support gays are unhinged and crazy. As a gay man, I don't think yours is the kind of support I want.

As a queer woman, I don't have a lot of sympathy for anyone who calls their brother and his lifestyle disgusting and hides their kids from it. Frankly, I think they are bad, hateful people.

You missed my point. Any time you are going as far as to talk about someone's kids, wish death on a person, and say other despicable things, the only thing you are achieving is making yourself look like a nutjob and further arming your detractors. OP doesn't want to associate with gays because she thinks gays are destructive. So, you reinforce her POV to the max by spouting off as if you're having a breakdown. How does that make sense? Would you want to associate with people who wish unspeakable evil on strangers?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do you hateful gays and gay "allies" in here think you are achieving with your insults and nastiness? All you are doing is lending credence to the idea that gays and those who support gays are unhinged and crazy. As a gay man, I don't think yours is the kind of support I want.

As a queer woman, I don't have a lot of sympathy for anyone who calls their brother and his lifestyle disgusting and hides their kids from it. Frankly, I think they are bad, hateful people.

You missed my point. Any time you are going as far as to talk about someone's kids, wish death on a person, and say other despicable things, the only thing you are achieving is making yourself look like a nutjob and further arming your detractors. OP doesn't want to associate with gays because she thinks gays are destructive. So, you reinforce her POV to the max by spouting off as if you're having a breakdown. How does that make sense? Would you want to associate with people who wish unspeakable evil on strangers?

Huh? No one is wishing death on anyone. Her brother is better off without her close mindedness in her life. Her kids would be better without it as well.

She doesn't think gays are destructive. She thinks they are gross.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. This will be my last post. I spoke with my brother and let him know that I love him but do not want to be part of his gay lifestyle. I do not approve and I do not want homosexuality to be part of my life. I have as much of a right as the rabid posters in this thread to choose who and what are in my life. This means that he is welcome in my life, as he was before, but I will not meet his boyfriend or participate in whatever comes next between them.

He says he accepts this, but time will tell if he really does. All I know is that I will never stop hoping he decides this homosexual life is not for him, although I know that is unlikely, and I believe that love means I must be honest about what is a disgusting and destructive lifestyle.

NOOOOO! I just got here. Don't make him chose between you and his soulmate. He wouldn't have you make that choice. You don't have to change what you feel or what you think, just change how you act. Your brother may find your heterosexual lifestyle disgusting and your DH an overweight, a-hole, but it's his job to shut up, smile/nod, and accept that your lifestyle choices are your lifestyle choices. In DC, you are not going to be able to protect your kids. We go to a very good school, and yet one kid's dad is in jail for murder, another kid has two moms, another kid's dad divorced the mom because he decided he is gay, another kid's big sister died from alcohol poisoning, another dad died from a heart attack, and over 50% of the parents are divorced -- most remarried and some on the 3rd marriage or more. And, this is one class with only 25 kids. Biggest mistake of your life and you are too young.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. This will be my last post. I spoke with my brother and let him know that I love him but do not want to be part of his gay lifestyle. I do not approve and I do not want homosexuality to be part of my life. I have as much of a right as the rabid posters in this thread to choose who and what are in my life. This means that he is welcome in my life, as he was before, but I will not meet his boyfriend or participate in whatever comes next between them.

He says he accepts this, but time will tell if he really does. All I know is that I will never stop hoping he decides this homosexual life is not for him, although I know that is unlikely, and I believe that love means I must be honest about what is a disgusting and destructive lifestyle.

Oh, OP. Why didn't you lead with this before 19 pages got wasted? You're a nasty, close minded bigot. Your brother is better off without you and frankly your kids would be too.

Ignoring the "rabid posters", did anything that us normal people (whether gay, straight, bi) help at all? Did you read it at all? It was a lot of posts and over half of them were really trying to help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do you hateful gays and gay "allies" in here think you are achieving with your insults and nastiness? All you are doing is lending credence to the idea that gays and those who support gays are unhinged and crazy. As a gay man, I don't think yours is the kind of support I want.

As a queer woman, I don't have a lot of sympathy for anyone who calls their brother and his lifestyle disgusting and hides their kids from it. Frankly, I think they are bad, hateful people.

You missed my point. Any time you are going as far as to talk about someone's kids, wish death on a person, and say other despicable things, the only thing you are achieving is making yourself look like a nutjob and further arming your detractors. OP doesn't want to associate with gays because she thinks gays are destructive. So, you reinforce her POV to the max by spouting off as if you're having a breakdown. How does that make sense? Would you want to associate with people who wish unspeakable evil on strangers?

Huh? No one is wishing death on anyone. Her brother is better off without her close mindedness in her life. Her kids would be better without it as well.

She doesn't think gays are destructive. She thinks they are gross.

People are definitely wishing death on OP. Go back and reread the thread if you missed it.