Is "making dinner" part of your SAHM job description?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My mother in law has given me a lot of bad advice but one piece of good advice she gave me was that it's perfectly fine to have a MOnday meal, a Tuesday meal, etc. so that everybody knows that on Wednesday nights you have spaghetti, Thursday nights you have pork chops, etc. When our kids were little, the Friday meal was pizza which we ordered, and one night was rotisserie chicken with french bread and bagged salad, which only leaves three nights. I also hate to cook and am bad at it, but even I could manage a Monday stir-fry, Tuesday spaghetti and pork chops once a week.

Ugh. My husband grew up like this, and trust me, it does not create warm fuzzy dinner memories. Have a repoitoire/rotation you are comfortable with, sure, but throw in quesadillas and soup every now and then to mix things up. Wednesdays=spaghetti gets real old, real fast.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I understand how children work, Ive been a SAHM for 8 years. Are you implying that her child never naps? Or that her child is completely incapable of independent play? If both are true then she is doing a shit job of parenting besides just not cooking, as a one year should be both sleeping and capable of independent play/have a safe space/playroom/a baby proofed kitchen where they can bang some pots and pans together while Mom cooks.

You've been out of the game for too long, hon. 12 month old toddlers are capable of independent play for very brief periods. They are also capable of getting into a sheet load of trouble - climbing, getting into things, etc. The way they entertain themselves - they need to be watched like a hawk. And mine were never content in a playpen.

[Anonymous]

I love how all these women with nannies have such strong opinions about what they themselves have never actually done themselves.

[Anonymous]

You had a playpen? Was it like 1975?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I love how all these women with nannies have such strong opinions about what they themselves have never actually done themselves.

Have a nanny now but was home the first year. I have plenty of room to talk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love how all these women with nannies have such strong opinions about what they themselves have never actually done themselves.

Have a nanny now but was home the first year. I have plenty of room to talk.

Convenient for you but 1 year maternity leave is NOT the norm (are you Canadian?) and I'm certain most of the moms with nannies were back to work in well under a year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You had a playpen? Was it like 1975?

A pack n play is just a smaller playpen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I WOH FT. I pick my kid up at daycare, go home, bathe him, then make dinner. My husband shows up about the time dinner is getting on the table.

On the weekends, I cook dinner while my toddler is napping. What do you do while your baby naps, OP?

For AM nap, I shower, get dressed, make bed, wipe down high chair, vacuum DS breakfast mess, empty the dishwasher, load any bottles/dirty dishes, gather up dirty diapers and take out trash, put away laundry from night before and get a new load started, wipe down master bath (just a quick swish and swipe of toilet and sink) and powder room, reset the diaper bag for an outing (replenish snacks,clothes,diapers-throw out any trash/dirty clothes etc), put away DS's toys. For PM nap, I check email, mail, deal with any bills or paperwork, maybe call my mom, then I have about 30 mins to myself, where I could ostensibly prepare a meal.

All of these things are done EVERY DAY?

Does seem odd. First, why does the dishwasher need to be emptied every day. How many plates does she use for that plain baked potato. I can't see how it's getting filled up so fast if they aren't eating any real meals. And unless the kid is spitting up constantly, which shouldn't be happening at 1, laundry doesn't need to be a daily event. I pay bills once a week, there are rarely bills that require a 24 hour turnaround.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love how all these women with nannies have such strong opinions about what they themselves have never actually done themselves.

Have a nanny now but was home the first year. I have plenty of room to talk.

Convenient for you but 1 year maternity leave is NOT the norm (are you Canadian?) and I'm certain most of the moms with nannies were back to work in well under a year.

Unpaid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mother in law has given me a lot of bad advice but one piece of good advice she gave me was that it's perfectly fine to have a MOnday meal, a Tuesday meal, etc. so that everybody knows that on Wednesday nights you have spaghetti, Thursday nights you have pork chops, etc. When our kids were little, the Friday meal was pizza which we ordered, and one night was rotisserie chicken with french bread and bagged salad, which only leaves three nights. I also hate to cook and am bad at it, but even I could manage a Monday stir-fry, Tuesday spaghetti and pork chops once a week.

Ugh. My husband grew up like this, and trust me, it does not create warm fuzzy dinner memories. Have a repoitoire/rotation you are comfortable with, sure, but throw in quesadillas and soup every now and then to mix things up. Wednesdays=spaghetti gets real old, real fast.

Yeah - I might shoot myself in the head by week two.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You had a playpen? Was it like 1975?

It was a porto crib. Same difference.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I understand how children work, Ive been a SAHM for 8 years. Are you implying that her child never naps? Or that her child is completely incapable of independent play? If both are true then she is doing a shit job of parenting besides just not cooking, as a one year should be both sleeping and capable of independent play/have a safe space/playroom/a baby proofed kitchen where they can bang some pots and pans together while Mom cooks.

You've been out of the game for too long, hon. 12 month old toddlers are capable of independent play for very brief periods. They are also capable of getting into a sheet load of trouble - climbing, getting into things, etc. The way they entertain themselves - they need to be watched like a hawk. And mine were never content in a playpen.

*Shrug*. Maybe you should have baby proofed better. Or maybe you were a super helicopter Mom. There is no reason you can't cook with a 12 month old in the kitchen with you. They can be in a bouncy seat, a bouncer/jumper in the doorway, or simply have a baby gate in the doorways to keep them contained, I never used a "playpen" as they weren't available when I was parenting. I managed to keep a clean house and make dinners and amazingly keep my 12 month olds safe too. 4 times.

[Anonymous]

I think the criticism and time management stuff from the sahms is fair. But if your kid is in daycare or you have a nanny, why are you even responding? You've never done it and you can't go back in time and do it. Why is their daily laundry? Well, maybe at your house, laundry isn't done every day, because your nanny is doing your laundry for your child on an as needed basis. In my house, I feed my child between 4 to 5 times per day, and pretty much after every feeding, he needs a change of clothes. Because he's a young child, and he's messy. Combined to that to your husband's daily clothes, my daily clothes, whatever sheets need to be changed out, whatever towels, hand towels, and kitchen towels need to be changed out, and I do a small to medium sized load of laundry every day, even for my small family. Why isn't your dishwasher full at night? Because your child is being fed a daycare. All of the prep for the child's meals, the meals that you eat, the meals that your child eats, none of those dishes are generated at home. Like I said, I think that the stay at home moms have relevant criticisms. If you have outsourced your child care to a nanny, or to a daycare, you simply don't have any idea what you're talking about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I understand how children work, Ive been a SAHM for 8 years. Are you implying that her child never naps? Or that her child is completely incapable of independent play? If both are true then she is doing a shit job of parenting besides just not cooking, as a one year should be both sleeping and capable of independent play/have a safe space/playroom/a baby proofed kitchen where they can bang some pots and pans together while Mom cooks.

You've been out of the game for too long, hon. 12 month old toddlers are capable of independent play for very brief periods. They are also capable of getting into a sheet load of trouble - climbing, getting into things, etc. The way they entertain themselves - they need to be watched like a hawk. And mine were never content in a playpen.

*Shrug*. Maybe you should have baby proofed better. Or maybe you were a super helicopter Mom. There is no reason you can't cook with a 12 month old in the kitchen with you. They can be in a bouncy seat, a bouncer/jumper in the doorway, or simply have a baby gate in the doorways to keep them contained, I never used a "playpen" as they weren't available when I was parenting. I managed to keep a clean house and make dinners and amazingly keep my 12 month olds safe too. 4 times.

My 12 month old was running and climbing. I also cooked dinner but it was not easy. Haha.

[Anonymous]

Unless your 12 month old was hurdling baby gates, the point stands