Mothers - How many sex partners would you want your daughter to have prior to marriage?

[Anonymous]

There are some things a mother doesn't need to know, especially about their adult children!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are some things a mother doesn't need to know, especially about their adult children!

A mother needs to prepare her daughter for all the mixed messages she will get about sex:
Be an independent woman and have sex because it feels good but watch out for stds and getting pregnant because that won't feel good.
But don't be surprised when you fall for a man because of all that oxytocin but he does not fall for you.
It is fine to have sex before marriage but not too often because both men and women will slut shame you. Double standards still exist.

It is tough to be a young female and they are at so much more risk than men to get pregnant, slut-shamed, feel depressed because their hormones predispose them to "falling" for a man and it won't be recipricated, or sexually assaulted. Much more difficult to be a young woman and a mother needs to do so much more than give her daughter a number.

[Anonymous]

I had three partners and I was not too much into the first 2. I just slept with them because they were most straightforward with their intentions. My DH was the only one I actually wanted to have sex with and I met him at 23. There were others before DH who I would have loved to have sex with, but it never happened for different reasons. I do regret that. Anyhow, I wish my daughter has sex with all the men who'd turn her on.

[Anonymous]

Ok but why does a parent need to be involved in the exact number? I don't even know my husband's number.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are some things a mother doesn't need to know, especially about their adult children!

A mother needs to prepare her daughter for all the mixed messages she will get about sex:
Be an independent woman and have sex because it feels good but watch out for stds and getting pregnant because that won't feel good.
But don't be surprised when you fall for a man because of all that oxytocin but he does not fall for you.
It is fine to have sex before marriage but not too often because both men and women will slut shame you. Double standards still exist.

It is tough to be a young female and they are at so much more risk than men to get pregnant, slut-shamed, feel depressed because their hormones predispose them to "falling" for a man and it won't be recipricated, or sexually assaulted. Much more difficult to be a young woman and a mother needs to do so much more than give her daughter a number.

So much of this is disgusting and sexist. I've had sex with several men i didn't "fall" for. I fell for several men I didn't have sex with. And I certainly won't tell my daughter than she should or shouldn't have sex with someone because someone might slut shame her. I hope she'll have the confidence and ownership over her body to make the choices that are right for her circumstances. And I'm definitely not worried she'll be some poor little woman ruled by her hormones. Incredibly, many women have managed to overcone this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One. The man she intends to marry. This worked out amazingly well for me. Married 12 years, amazing sex life.

How do you know your sex life is 'amazing' if you have nothing to compare it to? You don't have a point of reference, so to speak..

You have a good point. And I say that as someone who has only been with her husband. It's been fabulous, but since I'm nearing 60, I have a lot of "what-if" questions about past boyfriends now that I realize I truly will only ever sleep with one man in my life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are some things a mother doesn't need to know, especially about their adult children!

A mother needs to prepare her daughter for all the mixed messages she will get about sex:
Be an independent woman and have sex because it feels good but watch out for stds and getting pregnant because that won't feel good.
But don't be surprised when you fall for a man because of all that oxytocin but he does not fall for you.
It is fine to have sex before marriage but not too often because both men and women will slut shame you. Double standards still exist.

It is tough to be a young female and they are at so much more risk than men to get pregnant, slut-shamed, feel depressed because their hormones predispose them to "falling" for a man and it won't be recipricated, or sexually assaulted. Much more difficult to be a young woman and a mother needs to do so much more than give her daughter a number.

So much of this is disgusting and sexist. I've had sex with several men i didn't "fall" for. I fell for several men I didn't have sex with. And I certainly won't tell my daughter than she should or shouldn't have sex with someone because someone might slut shame her. I hope she'll have the confidence and ownership over her body to make the choices that are right for her circumstances. And I'm definitely not worried she'll be some poor little woman ruled by her hormones. Incredibly, many women have managed to overcone this.

A lot of that sounded like sarcasm to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had three partners and I was not too much into the first 2. I just slept with them because they were most straightforward with their intentions. My DH was the only one I actually wanted to have sex with and I met him at 23. There were others before DH who I would have loved to have sex with, but it never happened for different reasons. I do regret that. Anyhow, I wish my daughter has sex with all the men who'd turn her on.

you say ALL but how many do you really mean? 10? 50? 1000?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One. The man she intends to marry. This worked out amazingly well for me. Married 12 years, amazing sex life.

+ 1000

22 years and amazing sex life too.

Finally some people I can relate too! Why did it take 17 pages of this ridiculous drivel (and probably untruthful hyperbole) before an alternative viewpoint surfaced?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had three partners and I was not too much into the first 2. I just slept with them because they were most straightforward with their intentions. My DH was the only one I actually wanted to have sex with and I met him at 23. There were others before DH who I would have loved to have sex with, but it never happened for different reasons. I do regret that. Anyhow, I wish my daughter has sex with all the men who'd turn her on.

you say ALL but how many do you really mean? 10? 50? 1000?

I think you have a limited understanding of females and attraction.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had three partners and I was not too much into the first 2. I just slept with them because they were most straightforward with their intentions. My DH was the only one I actually wanted to have sex with and I met him at 23. There were others before DH who I would have loved to have sex with, but it never happened for different reasons. I do regret that. Anyhow, I wish my daughter has sex with all the men who'd turn her on.

you say ALL but how many do you really mean? 10? 50? 1000?

I think you have a limited understanding of females and attraction.

Hahah hardly.

What I'm curious about though is there seem to be some who proclaim daughter should sleep as many she wants! or all that she is attracted to! or a lot!

But what does that MEAN? I'm not in your head, please elaborate. Because some girl somewhere is going to hear, fuck all the men you think are hot - and she's going to end up banging 100 dudes, when the message really was - sleep with all the men you think are hot AND you think might want to be in relationship with AND who you think might make a good mate - which might be 7

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had three partners and I was not too much into the first 2. I just slept with them because they were most straightforward with their intentions. My DH was the only one I actually wanted to have sex with and I met him at 23. There were others before DH who I would have loved to have sex with, but it never happened for different reasons. I do regret that. Anyhow, I wish my daughter has sex with all the men who'd turn her on.

you say ALL but how many do you really mean? 10? 50? 1000?

I think you have a limited understanding of females and attraction.

Hahah hardly.

What I'm curious about though is there seem to be some who proclaim daughter should sleep as many she wants! or all that she is attracted to! or a lot!

But what does that MEAN? I'm not in your head, please elaborate. Because some girl somewhere is going to hear, fuck all the men you think are hot - and she's going to end up banging 100 dudes, when the message really was - sleep with all the men you think are hot AND you think might want to be in relationship with AND who you think might make a good mate - which might be 7

You really can't noodle through that? You're either extremely naive or not very bright.

I trust that under normal circumstances she will be able to make good decisions. The whole point of parenting is to teach your children to make good decisions. If she chooses to have one partner, I'm all for it. If she chooses to have 10+, that's ok too. If she's careful and opts for 20, I'm ok with that too. If she has sex with even one partner because she feels pressured or unloved without it, that's too much.

Almost all of the women who have 100+ partners have emotional issues. They're not making that decision under normal circumstances or in their best interests. They have a history of abuse 99% of the time. If you want to help your daughter make good decisions, do everything in your power to protect her and teach her to protect herself.

Assigning a number is just bullshit. How do you not understand that after 19 pages? It has been explained several times.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had three partners and I was not too much into the first 2. I just slept with them because they were most straightforward with their intentions. My DH was the only one I actually wanted to have sex with and I met him at 23. There were others before DH who I would have loved to have sex with, but it never happened for different reasons. I do regret that. Anyhow, I wish my daughter has sex with all the men who'd turn her on.

you say ALL but how many do you really mean? 10? 50? 1000?

I have no way to guess how many men she will find desirable. I missed out on 3-5 men: I was emotionally attached to them and found them attractive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here: women should be free to have as many sexual partners as they wish. But they are not free from people's perception.

I know that for me if a woman has over 15 partners I really start to wonder about her judgment.

There is a reason most men are repulsed at the notion of their partners having sex with another man. It is largely universal aside from cuckhold fetishists - and cuckholding is a fetish exactly because most all men feel this negative feeling.

Its hard wired. Why? I am not sure.

And one of the things I will be teaching my daughter is that people who form, adhere to and refuse to reexamine sexist assumptions based on "truthiness" have perceptions of little to no value, and should be ignored.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One. The man she intends to marry. This worked out amazingly well for me. Married 12 years, amazing sex life.

+ 1000

22 years and amazing sex life too.

Finally some people I can relate too! Why did it take 17 pages of this ridiculous drivel (and probably untruthful hyperbole) before an alternative viewpoint surfaced?

This first came up at least 13 pages ago. But thanks for being completely dismissive of other perspectives while you failed to read the thread.